Work Text:
The tweets start at one in the morning.
Which already tells Ilya everything he needs to know about the kind of people posting them.
He’s awake because his sleep schedule is terrible in the offseason and because Shane is currently starfished across eighty percent of their bed like a man who pays the mortgage alone. Ilya is trapped near the edge with one arm hanging off the mattress and his dignity rapidly deteriorating.
So naturally, he opens Twitter.
Which is his first mistake.
The post has already gone semi-viral.
A blurry video from some charity event two nights ago, zoomed in so aggressively it looks like it was filmed by someone hiding inside a plant.
Shane and Ilya are standing together near the back of the room. Ilya is talking animatedly with his hands while Shane stands beside him holding two drinks, listening quietly.
That’s it.
That is literally the entire video.
Unfortunately, the internet has decided this means divorce.
@hockeytruth77:
shane hollander looks emotionally unavailable as hell 😭@voyageurburner:
ilya carrying that relationship on his BACK@nhlgossipdaily:
no but why does shane always look uncomfortable around him???@puckdrama:
this relationship gotta be PR because there’s no way 😭😭#FreeIlya
#ShaneDoesntEvenLikeHim
#JusticeForRozanov
Ilya stares at the screen for a long moment.
Then he bursts out laughing so suddenly he nearly falls off the bed.
Beside him, Shane startles awake immediately because unfortunately years of professional hockey have trained his body to respond to chaos like a war veteran.
“What?” Shane says hoarsely, halfway sitting up already. “What happened?”
Ilya is still laughing too hard to answer properly.
“Oh my god,” he wheezes, shoving the phone toward him. “They think you hate me.”
Shane blinks at the screen.
Then frowns.
Five minutes later, Shane is fully awake now, sitting against the headboard with the expression of a man personally betrayed by humanity.
“I don’t understand,” he says for probably the fourth time.
Ilya is lying sideways across the bed beside him, still deeply entertained.
“You are too private,” he says. “People think if you are not climbing me like tree in public, you feel nothing.”
“I smiled at you in the video.”
“Yes,” Ilya says solemnly. “Very scandalous.”
Shane ignores that. “I was literally holding your drink.”
“That is because I cannot be trusted with two glasses at once.”
“That’s not the point.”
Ilya looks at him finally and immediately softens a little.
Because underneath the annoyance, Shane actually looks upset.
Not angry.
Just… hurt in that quiet way Shane gets sometimes.
“I don’t know why this bothers me,” Shane admits after a moment, rubbing tiredly at his face. “It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid.”
“It is little stupid,” Ilya agrees.
Shane glares at him weakly.
“But,” Ilya continues softer now, “you care because you love me.”
Shane exhales quietly.
“They think I don’t.”
Ilya shifts closer immediately, sliding one arm around Shane’s waist before resting his chin against his shoulder.
“I know you love me,” he says simply.
And that’s the thing.
There’s no hesitation in it.
No doubt. Just certainty.
Shane has always loved quietly.
Not weakly. Not halfway. Just privately.
The kind of love that lives in small things instead of grand performances. Filling Ilya’s water bottle before practice because he forgot. Charging Ilya’s phone without being asked. Sitting through terrible Russian reality shows because Ilya likes mocking them. Holding his hand under restaurant tables where nobody sees.
Ilya knows all of it.
He knows Shane reaches for him in sleep every single night without fail. He knows Shane always keeps one hand on him in crowds even when he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. He knows Shane memorized how Ilya takes his coffee after one week and still makes it exactly right years later.
The public just doesn’t see those things.
And honestly?
Ilya doesn’t care.
But Shane does a little.
Which means Ilya cares too.
“You know,” Ilya says thoughtfully, “I could post picture of you crying over my wisdom tooth surgery.”
Shane immediately looks horrified. “You promised never to bring that up again.”
“You cried more than me.”
“You were on painkillers!”
“You called dentist ‘hero of the people.’”
“I was emotional.”
“You are emotional now too.”
Shane groans, dragging one hand down his face. “I hate the internet.”
Ilya smiles slightly before kissing his shoulder.
“No,” he murmurs. “You hate strangers talking about us like they know us.”
Shane looks at him quietly for a second.
Then softer—
“Yeah.”
Unfortunately for Shane, their friends discover the discourse.
And because none of them have dignity, things spiral immediately.
The group chat explodes first.
Hayden:
WHY ARE PEOPLE SAYING SHANE DOESNT LOVE ROZANOV 😭Rose:
this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seenSvetlana:
shane literally looks at ilya like he hung the moonHayden:
he looks at him like he's Anya who gained consciousnessShane:
thanks manHayden:
you’re welcome ❤️Ilya:
hey Anya has consciousness!Ilya:
and Shane is upset :(Rose:
absolutely not. we’re fixing this.
And apparently, “fixing this” means public humiliation.
By noon, a new hashtag is trending.
#ShaneIsWhipped
Rose Landry Official✅ @rose.landry
went on date with my best friend and my 'ex-boyfriend' one time and he STILL spent forty minutes talking to ilya
i asked him one question and this man answered “hold on ilyusha” before smiling at his phone like a disney princess
#ShaneIsWhipped
Comments:
@hockeygirlie88:
“hold on ilyusha” is insane actually@rinksidetrash:
why does he smile like that… that’s a man in love@nhlobsessed:
disney princess is the ONLY correct description@bluelineenergy:
he looks like he would abandon a meeting for that phone call immediately@goalpostgossip:
this is the softest public humiliation i’ve ever seen@icecoldtakes:
“ilyusha” said with full devotion and zero shame@hockeyfan420:
rose just casually documenting emotional destruction
The internet loses its mind instantly.
The second post comes from Svetlana three hours later.
And somehow it’s worse.
Svetlana Vetrova✅ @svetlanaroz
boston date with my best friend’s husband and all he did was miss ilya dramatically
we still have friendly beef but one thing about us? we both love that idiot
#ShaneIsEmbarrassing
#ShaneIsWhipped
Comments:
@rinkrat99:
he KISSED the polaroid???@puckprayer:
that is NOT normal behavior@goalhorny:
he looked at a PHOTO like it was a homecoming@neutralzonehotdog:
“went on a boston date” and it turned into psychological warfare 😭@stickhandlingqueen:
the middle finger friendship is kind of iconic ngl@nhlteaaddict:
he is so loudly in love it’s almost embarrassing to witness@snipeshottt:
someone get this man a support group for missing his husband@cellyseason:
this is what heartbreak looks like when you’re still married
“I cannot believe she posted this,” Shane says weakly from the couch while Ilya laughs hard enough to nearly choke.
“You kissed picture,” Ilya points out.
“You were gone for the whole morning!”
“You are little pathetic, moya lyubov”
“You married me.”
“That is true.”
But Hayden delivers the another blow.
Mostly because Hayden Pike has waited years for an opportunity like this.
Hayden Pike✅ @haydenpikeactual
people saying shane doesn’t love ilya meanwhile this is what i walked into at 6pm on a tuesday
no one speak to me. i saw too much.
#FreeShaneFromThisRussianMan
#ActuallyNevermindHeLikesIt
#ShaneIsWhipped
Comments:
@jackiepike:
they’re literally soulmates. love you both!@icewatcher23:
ilya looking like that and still leaning to his shane like he's one of Snow White's dwarf lmao@rinksideconfessions:
he’s just… like that???@puckwatchdaily:
this is not a couple this is domestic stability@neutralzonegirl:
“6pm on a tuesday” is the most dangerous time for married men apparently@slapshotwhispers:
i thought they were exaggerated online but NOPE@nhlfandom:
that is a man who would fold in half if his husband walked in the room@sticktap:
the “actually nevermind he likes it” tag is doing heavy lifting@bluepaintarea:
this is just soft domestic chaos and i feel attacked
The fourth post comes from Harris.
Which honestly surprises nobody because Harris has been documenting Shane and Ilya like a mildly obsessed wildlife photographer for awhile now.
Half his camera roll is probably just those two accidentally being in love in public.
Harris Drover @harrisdrv
people asking me what it’s like filming content with shane and ilya all the time
honestly it takes forever because every five minutes they forget cameras exist and start staring at each other like they’re in a period drama
i’m serious. i once asked shane to move two feet left for lighting and this man looked at ilya first before answering ME
also if you think shane hollander doesn’t love his husband then respectfully i don’t think you’ve ever seen that man within a 10 foot radius of ilya rozanov
#ShaneIsWhipped
#ThisIsSickeningActually
Comments:
@puckbunny88:
the way Shane hugs at Ilya is actually illegal@goalpostgossip:
“within 10 feet radius of ilya rozanov” is so real@nhlobsessed:
HARRIS CONFIRMED WHAT WE ALL KNEW@bluelinebliss:
why does every candid photo of them look like a romance novel cover@icecoldtakes:
someone tell Shane he’s not subtle even a little bit@hockeyfan420:
“looked at ilya before answering me” I AM CRYING@rinkratenergy:
this is just domestic surveillance at this point@neutralzonegirl:
i fear harris has seen too much and cannot be saved
“I hate all of our friends,” Shane mutters weakly from the couch.
Ilya is fully delighted now, stretched comfortably against him while scrolling through the replies.
“No you don’t,” he says. “You are just embarrassed because everyone knows you worship me.”
“I do not worship you.”
Ilya raises one eyebrow slowly.
Shane immediately sighs. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“A little,” Ilya repeats like he’s humoring a child.
But the fifth post is the one that actually destroys the internet.
Mostly because nobody expects it.
And definitely not from Yuna.
The photo appears quietly about an hour later with no warning.
Yuna Hollander✅ @yunahollander
some people love loudly.
some love quietly.shane has always been the quiet kind.
but i have never once doubted how deeply he loves ilya. you can see it in every small thing he does.
and ilya has loved him just as fearlessly in return.
i think that’s very special.
#ShaneIsWhipped
#ILoveYouBothSons
Comments:
@rose.landry:
oh i’m CRYING now thanks yuna@harrisdrv:
well. this ended me emotionally.@svetlanaroz:
they make me sick ❤️@puckprayer:
WAIT THIS IS ACTUALLY SO SOFT??@icewatcher23:
i was laughing at this thread and now i’m emotional wtf@goalhorny:
“he’s always been the quiet kind” STOP IM CRYING@stickhandlingqueen:
this is not PR this is YEARS of comfort@cellyseason:
“safest thing he’s ever had” okay excuse me i need to sit down@goalpostenergy:
everyone else was joking and then yuna ended the discourse emotionally
For a long moment, neither Shane nor Ilya says anything.
They just stare at the photo quietly from the couch.
Then Shane exhales softly through his nose.
“My mom is emotional online now,” he says.
Ilya’s expression softens completely.
“She loves us.”
“Yeah,” Shane says quietly.
And then, after another second—
“She really likes you.”
Ilya finally looks away from the phone then, glancing toward Shane with something warm and unbearably fond in his eyes.
“I know,” he says softly.
Then, because he cannot emotionally survive sincerity for too long—
“Obviously. I am charming.”
Shane laughs immediately, the tension finally breaking.
“There he is,” he murmurs.
Ilya smiles before stealing Shane’s phone from his hands and curling closer against him.
“Come,” he says. “We post something too.”
Shane looks horrified instantly. “Absolutely not.”
“One picture.”
“No.”
“You owe me for emotional damages.”
“You started laughing at the tweets!”
“They insulted your love for me. I took this personally.”
Shane snorts, already pulling him closer automatically anyway.
And somewhere online, completely unknown to them, people are still arguing about whether Shane Hollander is affectionate enough while he sits there holding Ilya like letting go would physically kill him.
+1
And then, just when everyone thinks the saga is over, Shane posts.
Which is already enough to send the internet into cardiac arrest because Shane Hollander posts maybe twice a year and half of those are hockey-related.
No one is prepared for the fact that this one is about Ilya.
Shane Hollander-Rozanov✅@shaneholl24
i think people mistake quietness for absence sometimes.
the truth is i’ve never been good at being looked at. ilya has always understood that about me better than anyone else. he never asked me to love him louder than i knew how to.
he just listened anyway.
i’ve loved him for a very long time. since we were seventeen, actually. i just got lucky enough that he loved me back through every version of myself while i figured out how to be fully known by someone.
there’s never been anything fake about us.
he’s the safest thing i’ve ever had.
Comments:
@hockeyfan44:
SINCE THEY WERE WHAT???@centaursnews:
SEVENTEEN?????@rose.landry:
oh he DROPPED lore@svetlanaroz:
LMAOOOOO THEY DIDNT KNOW 😭@haydenpikeactual:
i’ve been carrying this information for YEARS@nhlupdatesdaily:
wait they’ve been in love THIS WHOLE TIME???@puckbunny92:
SEVENTEEN?????????? like teenage seventeen??????????@nhlchaos:
you’re telling me these men have been doing enemies to lovers in REAL TIME for YEARS???@centaursfan44:
nah because this means every single fight on the ice was basically unresolved sexual tension 😭@hockeyarchives:
SOMEONE CHECK ON EVERY PERSON WHO WATCHED THEIR ROOKIE YEARS LIVE@IlyaRozanov81:
я тебя люблю🧡
