Chapter Text
Your Stardust approaches the favor tree. Your Stardust, who broke free, who got everything he ever wanted. Everything you ever wanted. You hate him. That was really all it took all along, huh? For Stardust to whine and scream and cry at his family, and for them to just say you would all continue traveling together!?
He becomes visible in the little alcove you would always talk in during the loops. You dim your light and remain hidden above in the leaves, practically invisible in the darkness of the canopy. You don't want to see him, let alone talk to him. You want to tear him apart. You want to carve into him and steal back your heart that beats in his chest. But you wouldn't do that. You know. You wouldn't be able to bear his pathetic face twisting in grief and agony. And... you just. Couldn't take that from him. He won. You lost. It's only fair.
If you're lucky, now that the loops are over, you'll simply fade out of existence, sail into the stars and claim your eternal rest. But somehow, you know that's not going to happen. Because you're the universe's favorite cosmic joke!~ It would be a waste to retire you now!!! And you wouldn't be able to die, either. You just know. You can feel your wish thrumming inside of you, both like and completely unlike a heart. Stardust spent alllll~ his wish craft on his little temper tantrum, but you surely have some to spare for a little more looping fun!!!!!~
"Loop?" You stay silent. You have nothing to say to him.
"LOOP?" Stars, why is he here?? He got his perfect ending already!! No need for you anymore!!! Hahaha!!!
He continues calling for you. He looks close to tears. You get it, to some degree. You were the only other real person in the loops, of course he'd want to see you again. But he didn't know you. You made sure of that. You made sure you were always just his obnoxious, prickly guide. Why would he need to know who you really were, anyway?
Finally, he takes out that blinding silver coin. Unconsciously, you materialize your own, and roll it across your fingers.
He sets it down where you always sat during your conversations, and after a stuttering breath, speaks.
"Goodbye, Loop."
"And thank you."
He stands there a moment longer, lost in thought, then he walks away.
...
Ha.
Hahaha.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
That BLINDING-
You could wring his neck. He really thinks you're dead? He doesn't know you at all! If he did, he'd know you'd never be that lucky!!! You want to laugh, and scream, and cry, and kill him and kill YOURSELF. You...!
...
You don't know what to do.
You consider your options. You can't exactly just waltz into the clocktower. You wouldn't be able to skirt around questions you could before due to urgency, and OdileThe Researcher would surely figure you out eventually. They can't know who you are. You don't know exactly what, but you just know something horrible would happen if they did.
...So that's not an option. You aren't going to go into the House again, and you don't want to join the party raging in the town closeby - your form is quite... conspicuous, and you don't exactly feel like getting hounded by the townspeople. And Stardust's party would certainly catch wind of a glittering, glowing, starry stranger suddenly showing up.
...
...But...
What happens next?
You can't just stay here, under the favor tree forever. Even if they're not yours... you can't stand the thought of being without your party. Of them leaving you. Because what would you have then??? You.
You can't think about that.
...So! You can't face your party (notyoursnotyours) but you can't be without them! What a conundrum Loop faces!!!~
Well, for now, you suppose it couldn't hurt to listen in on what's happening in the clocktower. It'll at least distract you. You close your eyes and focus on your Stardust.
He’s on the couch, facing up, head leaned against a pillow as he sips some soup, seemingly trying to eat as fast as he can while having to blow on every spoonful and carefully lift it to his mouth. Even though you can’t feel what he does when viewing him like this, you can tell his movements are shaky, uncoordinated. Out the window, the sky is darkened and the sun rests upon the horizon. Has it really been that long..? Everyone else is at the table, seeming exhausted, but relieved. It’s quiet, as everyone eats their food. It looks delicious. You wish you could smell or taste it, peering through Stardust’s eyes like this. Oh, M- The Housemaiden is about to speak.
“Everyone! I- I’m so glad this is all over! It’s kind of hard to believe… It’s weird! Like, we’ve all only traveled together while constantly having to outrun the curse, and collect the orbs, and fight sadnesses… But now, we can just travel! Without all the pressure! I’m… I’m just so happy to get to travel with you all!”
“Crab yeah!” Isabeau shouts.
"CRAB YEAH!!!" Bonnie pumps their fists in the air.
Odile starts to speak. "Of course, we can't just start gallivanting around the country. We need to get Boniface back to Bambouche first - and we need to let Siffrin recover, too." Stardust lets out a little squeak at having been mentioned. Everyone giggles a little.
"H-hey, you shouldn't have to wait for me! I'm fine! Bonnie, you want to get back to your sister soon, right? I- I don't want to hold you up and-"
"SIFFRIN." The Housemaiden says, surprisingly loud and stern. "We are staying RIGHT HERE until you get better. And you better not say 'I'm fine,' because you're NOT! You just went through the entire house alone, fought the king alone, and then- did whatever you did to get big, which couldn't have been easy on you, you're running a really bad fever, and- CRAB Siffrin, you're NOT well enough to travel, and THAT'S OK, OK?"
...
Stardust is stunned by The Housemaiden's sudden directness for a moment, then buries his face in his cloak.
"Frin, I wanna get back to Nille, but you're sick, and it's not good to travel while you're sick! Being sick CRABBING SUCKS! So I'm gonna make you lots of soup so you get better faster! You’re not gonna be stupid and travel while you're sick! Stupidfrin. So there!”
“Heh. I concur. And I should point out you're not the only reason we're spending extra time in Dormont - we need to plan a route to Bambouche, get supplies, and, Mirabelle, I remember you mentioning you wanted to talk to the Head Housemaiden about your pilgrimage?”
"Y-yeah! So it’s not even a problem, Siffrin!”
“Sif... I wouldn’t care even if it was a problem. You- you’re- you’re really important to me. To all of us! We want to wait for you because we love you.”
“Yeah! We love you Frin! So stop being stupid!”
Stardust looks down. He seems like he’s about to cry. You feel nauseous, your stomach stirring uncomfortably. They’re saying this all to Stardust. They would never say this to you. They don’t know you, after all!! You’re just a mysterious stranger they met under the favor tree - a convenient ally to help them find their little rogue - that disappeared after they had served their purpose. And even if they knew who you really were… well that would be worse, wouldn’t it! You’re the failed Siffrin, aren’t you! How many times did you let them all die!?!? The King holds Mira’s limp body. You hear a sickening crunch.
No. Nonono. You failed. You’re horrible. You don’t even deserve them. They love him because he actually broke free of the loops, instead of giving up like you did. You’re just a shattered mirror’s broken reflection of their real friend. You’ll never be enough for them. But you’re clingy, you’re desperate, you couldn’t stand to be without them. So what, are you going to try to worm your way back into their circle? Force them to choke on your rot and miasma so you don’t have to be alone?! Make them them harbor a worthless, needy, pathetic leech? No. No, no, you can’t. Of course they’d take you in, they’re all so kind. You can’t take advantage of them like that. But, the selfish thing you are, you still want to come with them.
...
Wait!
You know what to do!
You’ll just follow them! Out of Dormont! You can follow them and just. Not let them know, because you’d infect them with your rot if you were really with them. If you’re far away, you can’t hurt them! It’s perfect!
~~~~~~~~~~~ ONE WEEK LATER ~~~~~~~~~~~
You've been sitting at the favor tree for... a while now. Just laying atop it, staring at the unfrozen House while your mind wanders. The new view has been refreshing, as has watching Stardust and his party go about their business. How quickly the time passes has been surprising, but maybe it shouldn't be. After all, you'd been living in a time loop where the passage of time didn't matter for... how long? You have no idea exactly how many loops you went through, but considering Stardust looped 111 times... though it wasn't a blip, with everything that had happened in them, it was a fraction of a fraction of the time you'd been trapped, so...
It's probably not a good idea to think too hard about that. You'll never even know for sure anyway. And knowing the true number of loops, let alone the time spent, would probably break your brain a little. No reason to add another thing to the pile.
It seems like the party is getting ready to leave Dormont behind and set off to Bambouche. Stardust's condition has improved significantly - while he's not allowed to use Craft, as even minor use could risk a relapse into Craft exhaustion, he's well enough to travel, just so long as he takes regular breaks, gets good sleep, eats well, yadda yadda yadda. His party had to spend a long time convincing him to not help in any future battles - he only agreed when The Researcher told him that if he did, they'd practically have to get a stretcher to carry him to the next town, where they would stay for as long as it took for him to recover. Probably an exaggeration, but desperate measures had to be taken to get him to agree to the terms, and you admit that you too probably wouldn't have been convinced by anything less.
You've been paying particular attention to The Researcher and Housemaiden's travel plans - after all, if you're going to tail the party, it'll be helpful to know where they're actually going. You're glad your memory has become nearly perfect since becoming a... star person - you're sure you would have already forgotten half the plans if your mind were foggy and full of holes like it once was. Now you remember everything. Whether you want to or not.
...Is it- creepy, to be watching everyone like this? You haven't really thought too much of it, but they probably wouldn't be... thrilled to learn that someone they didn't really know had been spying on them for a week. Well, you haven't exactly had much to do here, sitting at the favor tree, barely even moving for a week! And you haven't watched anyone bathe, or use the bathroom, or change, or anything else inappropriate! And besides, you need to know when they're leaving and where they're going to be able to come with them.
Sometimes, one of them would visit the favor tree. Sometimes they spoke. Sometimes they just sat in front of it and stared up at the great canopy above. You remember when MiraThe Housemaiden came by the first time. She said she wanted to thank you. She said she wanted to get to know you. That they all did. That she wishes you were still around. She doesn't know any better. She doesn't know who you are, what you've done. To her, and The Fighter, and The Researcher, and The Kid, you're a star that came to make their wish come true - a deus ex machina to help them save The Traveler in his Act III breakdown. It's better that way. If they knew, they would hate you, and you would deserve it.
You. You don't want them to hate you.
But! They'll be leaving soon! They'll be leaving tomorrow! You stir from the thick branch you'd laid down on, and- Oh- your muscles are stiff! Well, you've barely moved in a whole week, so that makes sense. You do some stretches - you'll certainly need to do more. You'll need to be in at least decent condition if you're going to follow yourhis party. Besides, it's something to do that isn't just watching his party members, and you've been itching to do something yourself. So it works out, you suppose.
There's nothing else to do before they depart. You're ready.