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The Metropolitan Police Department's First Division was a circus on a good day.
However today, it was a Tuesday which meant it was a chaotic nightmare of ringing desktop phones, towering stacks of paperwork, and Inspector Megure’s booming voice demanding updates.
Chiba had been staring at a suspect's alibi timeline for four straight hours and his brain was starting to leak out of his ears, and in order to survive he just demanded to use his hard-earned fifteen-minute break to get a chilled melon soda from the breakroom vending machine then retreat to a quiet corner and eat his sour cream and onion potato chips in glorious peace.
He dodged three panicking rookies on the way and sidestepped a deeply stressed Shiratori.
Finally, he made it to the promised land.
The dream of a peaceful break evaporated and he stopped dead in his tracks as he pushed open the breakroom door open.
There, standing in front of the vending machine and looking completely devastated was Takagi.
His shoulders were slumped in a posture that screams 'i am defeated' and his hands were flatly pressed on the glass.
He was staring mournfully at a canned coffee that had gotten stuck tragically between the glass and the metal coil.
"Come on..." Takagi pleaded softly, shaking the heavy machine weakly.
"Please. I've written four incident reports today. I just need my iced coffee..."
The machine obviously did not care about his reports and the coffee remained stuck.
Chiba sighed and stepped fully into the room.
"Give it up Takagi-san. That coil has been jammed since Thursday. You're gonna have to call the maintenance guy."
His comment made Takagi let out a tragic exhausted sigh and drop his head forward, bumping lightly against the thick glass.
"But I put my last 100-yen coin in there..."
"Wataru? What's wrong?"
Takagi and Chiba looked at the source of the voice and It was none other than Sato who had walked in holding an empty "World's Best Detective" mug.
The look of Takagi's slumped posture made her frown and activated her protective instincts.
Takagi sighed and pointed a sad finger at the trapped can.
"It ate my coin Miwako. and it's holding my coffee hostage."
Chiba watched
'She'll just offer to buy him another can' he thought, staring at the ceiling.
'No no, maybe she'll pat his back and tease him as usual'
But he was wrong.
Sato’s eyes narrowed into a dangerous deadly glare and It wasn't directed at Takagi.
It was directed to the vending machine, as if it had personally insulted her ancestors.
"Step back" Miwako commanded.
Takagi knew better than to argue with that tone.
He immediately took three large steps backward and hid slightly behind Chiba's shoulder.
Sato cracked her knuckles, widened her stance, planted her feet firmly on the linoleum and pulled her right arm back.
Then with terrifying precision, she delivered a devastating open-palm strike directly to the side panel of the heavy machine.
THWACK!!
The sound echoed like a gunshot in the small room.
The entire 800-pound machine violently shuddered.
It was silent for a second.
Then
clunk. clunk, clunk, clatter.
Not only did Takagi's iced coffee drop down into the bin, but two extra cans of green tea and a bag of chocolate-covered almonds fell with it, as if the machine was actively surrendering its inventory in pure terror.
Sato casually dusted off her hands without a bother in the world for the display of force.
She crouched and retrieved the iced coffee then opened the aluminum tab for him.
The terrifying aura instantly vanished as she turned around to face him and had a devastating sweet domestic smile.
She handed the open can to Takagi.
"Here you go sweetheart" she cooed gently and reached up to fondly ruffle his messy hair.
"Make sure you drink some water today too okay? stay hydrated."
Takagi took the coffee with both hands and stared at her with wide star-struck eyes as his face turned into an amazing helpless shade of red, a way of his nervous system announcing he is flustered and wrecked beyond repair.
"Y-Yes! Thank you Miwako" he stammered.
Sato smiled lovingly and pressed a quick kiss to his flushed cheek.
She casually walked out of the breakroom to wash her mug, leaving behind a dented vending machine.
Chiba stood entirely frozen by the doorway.
He looked at the dent in the thick steel panel.
He slowly turned his head to look at Takagi, who was happily sipping his coffee, still blushing furiously and staring dreamily at the door she had just walked through.
"Takagi-san"
His voice was a mix of awe and deep concern.
"Your girlfriend just physically extorted a vending machine."
Takagi let out a happy lovesick dreamy 'she is so cool' little sigh, completely ignoring the violence he had just witnessed.
"I know" he beamed clutching his coffee to his chest with weak knees, a blushy face, and half-closed dazed eyes. "Isn't she amazing?"
Chiba slowly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, but a smile crept into his face anyways.
"You really lack self-preservation." he stated fondly, adding
"Just damaged and irrepairable, no human mechanic can fix you."