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Harris
Welcome back to a new series we are doing with one of our Centaurs Luca Haas. This is going to be “Fanboying with Luca Haas”
Luca
This is very embarrassing Harris
Harris
It’s gonna be great. The fans are gonna love it
Luca
Okay, I hope you’re right. So what do you want me to do
Harris
Well following on from recent events…
[multiple photos are shown on the screen of Luca with Mark Lee and of Mark Lee at the Centaurs vs Toronto game]
…since you are apparently a big fan of Kpop we were thinking you could match a song to each member of the team
Luca
Okay, I can do that. That’s not too bad
Harris
When you’re ready
Luca
Okay, no pressure then. Okay, so I have thought about this before. Ilya Rozanov, before I knew him, I thought he fit “Nillili Mambo” and “Very Good” by BlockB I think he is very like party vibes and that fits those song a lot, but now that I actually know him, I think he is much more like “Lovesick Girls” by BlackPink. Especially when he is around Shane, he gets heart eyes. Also I think he would fit in to the music video for “Blow” by Jackson Wang
Harris
Any particular reason for that?
Luca
Nope, just watch the video then you will see.
[the screen cuts to a frame from the music video where Jackson Wang is wearing a corset]
Anyway, Wyatt I think would be “BFF” by P1harmony maybe because he is literally everyone’s friend and it's a fun song it just works with him you know? I should probably say I don’t actually know the meaning of the words. I don't speak Korean and I have never bothered to translate them. I don’t need to know what it says to enjoy it. I mean one of my favourite songs is in spanish and I don’t speak Spanish
Harris
Okay, so what about Shane Hollander?
Luca
Oooh this one is easy, “I am the Best” by 2NE1. That is pretty self explanatory I think, I mean Shane Hollander is the best player in the league. Oh and Shane and Ilya together - maybe I can’t say that, they might not like it. Hmm. “Red Lights” by Bang Chan and Hyunjin from Stray Kids.
Harris
Why might they not like that?
Luca
There is meaning behind it…those who know, know I will not explain.
Harris
Okay…who is next?
Luca
Bood is easy, he is “God’s Menu” by stray kids he literally cooks like a five star michelin chef
Harris
You know the highest rating is three stars, right?
Luca
Yes, it is the lyrics though, and it fits very well. Ooo I just thought of another one that would fit Shane, “untouchable” By Itzy that would be good for him.
Harris
What about the other kids?
Luca
Well, Alex Young is easy, he would be “Stupid Idiot” by Hoshi and Woozi from Seventeen, both because he is a stupid idiot and because its a really fun song and he gives off the same energy as when Hoshi shouts the dancers name when they are performing it and sometimes, more often than not, he can be “Love Talk” by WayV. I think Theo Holmberg could be something like “`baddie” by Ive, and Pointy is like “Jackpot” by Vanner. It's a very fun song and I like it very much. When you get all of us together though, we all become like NMIXX “Young, Dumb, Stupid”
Harris
I feel like you have thought about this much more than you are letting on
Luca
Maybe. Anyway, Dykstra is definitely “That That” by Psy, specifically when it is being played with the music video though, I don’t want to associate him with the performance they did where all the different Idols from different groups performed it together because San and Yunho from Ateez absolutely killed me I still find myself watching the edits of it on tiktok now and its been ages.
Boyle gives off very summer-y energy always talking about it so I think “O Soe Mio” and “Just on my way” both by SF9 work well for him, and the Tanner Dillon, “Allergy” by I-dle. Wait no that's really mean, maybe “Loco” by Itzy instead.
Harris
Why would that be mean?
Luca
I was thinking about some of the lyrics and that's one of the only songs I actually know the meaning behind, can you just edit it out please?
Harris
What about Troy?
Luca
Okay, don’t be offended. “Rude” by Hearts2Hearts but the bit where they are talking and are like “he said I was so rude” then “do I look like I could care? I couldn’t even care less” and maybe mix it with “Love Shot” by EXO and that is Troy. And I think you are “I’m the Trend” by I-dle, Harris.
Harris
Awwww you included me? I will have to listen to it later. What about yourself? What song do you associate with yourself?
Luca
Well I would like to think I am like “Iconic” by Xikers but in reality I am probably more like “Enough” by Ateez. Which is still good but nowhere near “Iconic”.
Harris
Do you have any thoughts about what matches the team as a whole?
Luca
“Cinema” by Lee Know and Seungmin from Stray Kids, and “Choose” by Ateez.
Harris
Why is that?
Luca
It is hard to explain, you will have to listen to the song to understand but they work very well in my opinion.
Harris
Well thank you for that, let us know in the comments what you thought of the video and what else you would like to see Luca doing -
Luca
Maybe Ilya would actually be Mommae by Jay Park too…
Luca’s last sentence was cut off by the screen going black and the video ending after a few short credits.
Ottawa centaurs
@Ottawacentaursofficial
Join us for another series with one of our Cens - “Fan-boying with Luca Haas” - this was highly requested by the rest of the team
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
This whole series is very embarrassing but I hope you all enjoy my misery
Mari
@mariito127
@lucahaas2000 I will enjoy it very much my dear friend Luca
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
@mariito127 This makes me scared…what are you planning?
Mari
@mariito127
@lucahaas2000 Now why would I ruin that surprise
Ilya Rozanov
@rozy81
I am not a lovesick girl and I am not born to be alone I have my Shane was born to be his husband
Ali
@scoupssvt
Saying you were born to be Your Shane’s husband is really not helping your point
Shane Hollander
@shanehollander
@rozy81 you are definitely a lovesick girl…
Alex Young
@Younghockey
I want to be offended but those songs are actually good
Taylor (Mark’s version)
@taytay
Who’s gonna tell him there's an English version of love talk?
Alex Young
@Younghockey
Never mind I will be tackling Haas at the next possible opportunity
Jade
@Yaasisreal
LUCA HAAS AND ALEX YOUNG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
Oghollanover
@hollanovisreal
@Yaasisreal I feel wrong to be the one to tell you this but not every ship is real
Jade
@Yaasisreal
@hollanovisreal Girl don’t even try that with me if your delusion was true so is mine
Jade
@Yaasisreal
And matching him to Love talk…of all songs? That is a massive give away
Oghollanover
@hollanovisreal
@Yaasisreal Maybe it was just a bad attempt at flirting…
Jade
@Yaasisreal
@hollanovisreal OMG am I converting you in real time?!?!
Troy Barrett
@troybarrett17
I’m not offended but I am curious why that was your first thought
Wyatt Hayes
@hayesingoal
It is my goal in life to be everyone’s friend
Issa
@issaforlife
@hayesingoal OMG that is such friend slut behaviour…I love it works so well for you never stop
Jack
@rozanovshusband
@hayesingoal I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
Meave
@bangchanlover
Calling Hollanov out by saying they’re Red Lights was dirty (I love it please never stop)
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
@bangchanlover IYKYK…and I hope they never do because I will never live it down
Shane Hollander
@shanehollander
@rozy81 Look even our child thinks I am the best and he is right
Ilya Rozanov
@rozy81
@shanehollander But he still likes me better I am favourite Mama
Shanehollandersgirlfriend
@emmy242424
@rozanovissexy @rozanovshusban He’s finally accepted that he is the mom
Jack
@rozanovshusband
@emmy242424 We knew this day would come eventually
Rozyswife
@rozanovissexy
@emmy242424 Best day ever
Mari
@mariito127
@ottawacentaursofficial So when are we gonna talk about Luca Haas knowing multiple dances to songs by Twice and Red Velvet?
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
@mariito127 YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT
Ottawa centaurs
@Ottawacentaursofficial
@mariito127 Are you free to come in for a meeting at any point in the near future?
Mari
@mariito127
@ottawacentaursofficial Absolutely but only if Shane Hollander is there too
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
@mariito127 This is not happening
Mari
@mariito127
@ottawacentaursofficial @lucahaas2000 He also does Girls’ Generation
Luca Haas
@lucahaas2000
@mariito127 With all the love in the world…I hate you
