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Fan boying with Luca Haas

Summary:

Luca Haas now has his own little series on the centaurs social media accounts and he is very embarrassed about it but he will answer the questions anyway. And maybe (just maybe because he defeated hasn't) he's thought about this before.

or

Following Luca outing himself as a fanboy on twitter he is subjected to an embarrassing question about his team mates.

another one for the incredibly niche audience of HR and Kpop fans

Notes:

This is another one for the incredibly niche audience of HR and Kpop fans

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Harris

Welcome back to a new series we are doing with one of our Centaurs Luca Haas. This is going to be “Fanboying with Luca Haas” 

 

Luca

This is very embarrassing Harris

 

Harris

It’s gonna be great. The fans are gonna love it

 

Luca

Okay, I hope you’re right. So what do you want me to do

 

Harris

Well following on from recent events…

 

[multiple photos are shown on the screen of Luca with Mark Lee and of Mark Lee at the Centaurs vs Toronto game]

 

…since you are apparently a big fan of Kpop we were thinking you could match a song to each member of the team

 

Luca

Okay, I can do that. That’s not too bad

 

Harris

When you’re ready

 

Luca

Okay, no pressure then. Okay, so I have thought about this before. Ilya Rozanov, before I knew him, I thought he fit “Nillili Mambo” and “Very Good” by BlockB I think he is very like party vibes and that fits those song a lot, but now that I actually know him, I think he is much more like “Lovesick Girls” by BlackPink. Especially when he is around Shane, he gets heart eyes. Also I think he would fit in to the music video for “Blow” by Jackson Wang 

 

Harris

Any particular reason for that?

 

Luca

Nope, just watch the video then you will see.

 

[the screen cuts to a frame from the music video where Jackson Wang is wearing a corset]

 

Anyway, Wyatt I think would be “BFF” by P1harmony maybe because he is literally everyone’s friend and it's a fun song it just works with him you know? I should probably say I don’t actually know the meaning of the words. I don't speak Korean and I have never bothered to translate them. I don’t need to know what it says to enjoy it. I mean one of my favourite songs is in spanish and I don’t speak Spanish

 

Harris

Okay, so what about Shane Hollander? 

 

Luca

Oooh this one is easy, “I am the Best” by 2NE1. That is pretty self explanatory I think, I mean Shane Hollander is the best player in the league. Oh and Shane and Ilya together - maybe I can’t say that, they might not like it. Hmm. “Red Lights” by Bang Chan and Hyunjin from Stray Kids. 

 

Harris

Why might they not like that?

 

Luca

There is meaning behind it…those who know, know I will not explain.

 

Harris

Okay…who is next?

 

Luca

Bood is easy, he is “God’s Menu” by stray kids he literally cooks like a five star michelin chef

 

Harris

You know the highest rating is three stars, right?

 

Luca

Yes, it is the lyrics though, and it fits very well. Ooo I just thought of another one that would fit Shane, “untouchable” By Itzy that would be good for him. 

 

Harris

What about the other kids? 

 

Luca

Well, Alex Young is easy, he would be “Stupid Idiot” by Hoshi and Woozi from Seventeen, both because he is a stupid idiot and because its a really fun song and he gives off the same energy as when Hoshi shouts the dancers name when they are performing it and sometimes, more often than not, he can be “Love Talk” by WayV. I think Theo Holmberg could be something like “`baddie” by Ive, and Pointy is like “Jackpot” by Vanner. It's a very fun song and I like it very much. When you get all of us together though, we all become like NMIXX “Young, Dumb, Stupid”

 

Harris

I feel like you have thought about this much more than you are letting on

 

Luca

Maybe. Anyway, Dykstra is definitely “That That” by Psy, specifically when it is being played with the music video though, I don’t want to associate him with the performance they did where all the different Idols from different groups performed it together because San and Yunho from Ateez absolutely killed me I still find myself watching the edits of it on tiktok now and its been ages. 

 

Boyle gives off very summer-y energy always talking about it so I think “O Soe Mio” and “Just on my way” both by SF9 work well for him, and the Tanner Dillon, “Allergy” by I-dle. Wait no that's really mean, maybe “Loco” by Itzy instead. 

 

Harris

Why would that be mean?

 

Luca

I was thinking about some of the lyrics and that's one of the only songs I actually know the meaning behind, can you just edit it out please?

 

Harris

What about Troy?

 

Luca

Okay, don’t be offended. “Rude” by Hearts2Hearts but the bit where they are talking and are like “he said I was so rude” then “do I look like I could care? I couldn’t even care less” and maybe mix it with “Love Shot” by EXO and that is Troy. And I think you are “I’m the Trend” by I-dle, Harris.

 

Harris

Awwww you included me? I will have to listen to it later. What about yourself? What song do you associate with yourself?

 

Luca

Well I would like to think I am like “Iconic” by Xikers but in reality I am probably more like “Enough” by Ateez. Which is still good but nowhere near “Iconic”. 

 

Harris

Do you have any thoughts about what matches the team as a whole?

 

Luca

“Cinema” by Lee Know and Seungmin from Stray Kids, and “Choose” by Ateez.

 

Harris

Why is that?

 

Luca

It is hard to explain, you will have to listen to the song to understand but they work very well in my opinion. 

 

Harris

Well thank you for that, let us know in the comments what you thought of the video and what else you would like to see Luca doing -

 

Luca

Maybe Ilya would actually be Mommae by Jay Park too…

 

Luca’s last sentence was cut off by the screen going black and the video ending after a few short credits.

 

Ottawa centaurs

@Ottawacentaursofficial

Join us for another series with one of our Cens - “Fan-boying with Luca Haas” - this was highly requested by the rest of the team

 

Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

This whole series is very embarrassing but I hope you all enjoy my misery 

 

Mari

@mariito127

@lucahaas2000 I will enjoy it very much my dear friend Luca

 

Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

@mariito127 This makes me scared…what are you planning?

 

Mari

@mariito127

@lucahaas2000 Now why would I ruin that surprise

 

Ilya Rozanov

@rozy81

I am not a lovesick girl and I am not born to be alone I have my Shane was born to be his husband

 

Ali

@scoupssvt 

Saying you were born to be Your Shane’s husband is really not helping your point

 

Shane Hollander

@shanehollander

@rozy81 you are definitely a lovesick girl…

 

Alex Young

@Younghockey

I want to be offended but those songs are actually good 

 

Taylor (Mark’s version)

@taytay

Who’s gonna tell him there's an English version of love talk?

 

Alex Young

@Younghockey

Never mind I will be tackling Haas at the next possible opportunity

 

Jade

@Yaasisreal 

LUCA HAAS AND ALEX YOUNG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

 

Oghollanover

@hollanovisreal 

@Yaasisreal I feel wrong to be the one to tell you this but not every ship is real

 

Jade

@Yaasisreal 

@hollanovisreal Girl don’t even try that with me if your delusion was true so is mine

 

Jade

@Yaasisreal 

And matching him to Love talk…of all songs? That is a massive give away

 

Oghollanover

@hollanovisreal 

@Yaasisreal Maybe it was just a bad attempt at flirting…

 

Jade

@Yaasisreal 

@hollanovisreal OMG am I converting you in real time?!?!

 

Troy Barrett

@troybarrett17

I’m not offended but I am curious why that was your first thought

 

Wyatt Hayes

@hayesingoal

It is my goal in life to be everyone’s friend

 

Issa

@issaforlife

@hayesingoal OMG that is such friend slut behaviour…I love it works so well for you never stop

 

Jack

@rozanovshusband

@hayesingoal I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

 

Meave

@bangchanlover

Calling Hollanov out by saying they’re Red Lights was dirty (I love it please never stop)

 

Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

@bangchanlover IYKYK…and I hope they never do because I will never live it down

 

Shane Hollander

@shanehollander

@rozy81 Look even our child thinks I am the best and he is right

 

Ilya Rozanov

@rozy81

@shanehollander But he still likes me better I am favourite Mama

 

Shanehollandersgirlfriend 

@emmy242424

@rozanovissexy @rozanovshusban He’s finally accepted that he is the mom

 

Jack

@rozanovshusband

@emmy242424 We knew this day would come eventually

 

Rozyswife

@rozanovissexy

@emmy242424 Best day ever

 

Mari

@mariito127

@ottawacentaursofficial So when are we gonna talk about Luca Haas knowing multiple dances to songs by Twice and Red Velvet?

 

 Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

@mariito127 YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT

 

Ottawa centaurs

@Ottawacentaursofficial

@mariito127 Are you free to come in for a meeting at any point in the near future?

 

Mari

@mariito127

@ottawacentaursofficial Absolutely but only if Shane Hollander is there too

 

 Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

@mariito127 This is not happening

 

Mari

@mariito127

@ottawacentaursofficial @lucahaas2000 He also does Girls’ Generation

 

 Luca Haas

@lucahaas2000

@mariito127 With all the love in the world…I hate you

Notes:

If you have any other suggestions or ideas I would love to know them I planned this using my own Kpop playlist and I need more songs to add to it even if it is 19 hours long already.

And if you're not a kpop fans I hope you will listen to the songs in this fic these are some of my favourites :)