Chapter Text
Family vacations had become something of a sacred tradition.
It had started years ago, when Enjin first took in Riyo. Back then, organizing a trip was simple. There were only a handful of children, a reasonable amount of luggage, and a manageable number of personalities to keep from combusting in close quarters.
At some point, however, the small family of four Enjin had somehow cobbled together had multiplied.
Enjin still wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened.
One child had become two. Two had become five. five had become a tidal wave of cousins, siblings, and children.
And now, with nineteen people, three coolers, enough snacks to survive an apocalypse, and at least six pillows that absolutely no one had packed intentionally, fitting into a single car was no longer an option.
So the family caravan had split into multiple vehicles.
—
“COUNTRY ROADS, TAKE ME HOOOOME!”
“TO THE PLAAAACE!”
“I BELOOOONG!”
The inside of the SUV vibrated with pure, unrestrained chaos.
Music blasted from the speakers at a volume that probably qualified as a public disturbance. The windows trembled. Empty snack wrappers fluttered across the floorboards like tumbleweeds. A half-open bag of gummy worms had spilled into the cupholders, and someone had stepped on a melted worm that was now permanently attached to the backseat floor mat.
In the very back, Caleb threw his head back and bellowed the lyrics with all the dramatic intensity of a rock star performing to a sold-out stadium.
“WEST VIRGINIAAAAA!”
His blonde hair was sticking up in every direction from hours of roughhousing, and one fist clutched his gummy worms like they were a microphone, and he looked seconds away from either starting a mosh pit in the car or accidentally launching himself through the windshield.
Beside him, Carter was no less theatrical.
“MOUNTAIN MAMAAAA!”
A few inches shorter than his twin but somehow twice as dramatic, Carter conducted the song with sweeping arm movements, dark brown hair flopping into his blue eyes as he pointed at invisible backup singers.
August leaned forward toward the dashboard, deliberately singing every note horrendously off-key.
“TAKE ME HOOOOOME - ”
At the wheel, Follo pounded the steering wheel twice in time with the beat, his grin so wide it nearly split his face.
The SUV swerved half an inch toward the rumble strip.
“Eyes on the road!” August yelped, clutching the dashboard like they were seconds from a fiery end.
“I am looking at the road,” Follo said, laughing too hard for the statement to inspire any confidence.
Caleb doubled over against the window, cackling so hard tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.
“Uncle Follo drives like he’s in a music video!”
“I am in a music video,” Follo shot back, locking eyes with the teen for a moment through the rearview mirror. “You’re all my backup dancers.”
“Then you should pay us,” Carter said instantly, leaning over the center console like a union representative.
August twisted in his seat and pointed accusingly at the twins. “Absolutely not. He’s my sugar daddy, Get your own.”
“THAT’S NOT - ” Caleb couldn’t even finish his protest before dissolving into another fit of laughter.
A few minutes later, the heat and excitement got the better of him. With the confidence of someone who had never once considered consequences, Caleb rolled down the window and shoved his entire head outside.
Wind exploded through his blonde hair, whipping it into a golden halo. “WOOOOOO!”
His voice was immediately snatched away by the rushing air.
Cars passing in the opposite lane honked. Caleb waved enthusiastically at all of them like he was a celebrity in a parade.
“THE WIND UNDERSTANDS ME!”
“CALEB MIMA, GET BACK IN THE CAR!” Carter shouted, grabbing the back of his shirt before his twin tried to ascend to another plane of existence.
August was laughing so hard he had to brace himself against the seat.
Caleb ducked back inside, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. His hair now looked like he had been electrocuted.
The song faded beneath their shrieking and was replaced by the opening guitar of something louder.
Carter gasped. “No way.”
Caleb sat bolt upright so quickly gummy worms scattered like confetti. “TURN IT UP!”
The first chord hit and all five of them screamed.
Follo attacked the steering wheel like it was a drum set. August fake-sobbed through the lyrics with one hand over his heart. Carter stood halfway out of his seat to conduct an imaginary orchestra, while Caleb headbanged aggressively.
“This,” Follo shouted over the music, slapping the roof, “is what road trips are about!”
Carter suddenly pointed through the windshield. “Snack stop!”
In the distance, a gas station sign rose above the highway like a beacon from heaven.
Follo squinted. “There’s a fried chicken place attached!” He yelled over the blaring music.
August immediately leaned forward until his forehead pressed against the windshield, staring at the sign with open devotion.
“Pull over right now. Before I propose to you a second time.”
—
“Fucking Christ,” Riyo muttered under her breath as the SUV ahead of them flicked on its turn signal and drifted toward yet another gas station.
The glowing sign rose from the side of the highway like a beacon to the chronically hungry. It had been less than thirty minutes since their last stop.
Riyo tightened her grip on the steering wheel and stared at the vehicle in front of them. “How hungry can they possibly get in half an hour?”
In the passenger seat, Tomme barely looked up from her phone. She gave a weary little shake of her head.
“You should see how fast groceries disappear in my house,” she said. “I buy enough food for what should be a normal family, and forty-eight hours later it looks like a plague of locusts came through.”
She tucked one leg beneath her and glanced over at Riyo, “It’s like feeding an army, not two teenage boys.”
Riyo snorted. “God, they’re like if August and Rudo merged together and then somehow duplicated themselves.”
She glanced at Tomme, genuinely baffled. “How do you do it?”
Tomme answered without even thinking about it, “Girl, weed.”
The response was so immediate and matter-of-fact that Riyo barked out a laugh. Tomme paused, pretending to consider the question more seriously.
“And the comforting thought that, no matter how deranged they are, at least they’re not you and Zanka.”
Riyo groaned and tipped her head back against the headrest. “Oh my God, we were not that bad.”
From the back seat, Malory suddenly leaned forward between them, making both women jump.
Malory’s eyes were wide with delighted curiosity, the exact expression of someone who had just learned there was hidden family lore.
“Were you seriously that bad?”
Tomme’s face shifted into the thousand-yard stare of a woman revisiting old trauma. “Oh,” she said flatly. “they were awful.”
Riyo rolled her eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t get stuck. “Please. Don’t act like you were Little Miss Perfect. You and Follo were just as bad as we were.”
Tomme turned to stare at her in utter disbelief. “Oh, no,” she said immediately. “Absolutely not. Follo and I were criminals, sure. But we had manners.”
She gestured toward Riyo with both hands. “You and Zanka were like two feral otters someone taught to hotwire a car.”
Malory gasped. “You hotwired a car?”
“Okay,” Riyo said quickly, lifting one hand in defense, “technically Zanka hotwired the car, and I was just there.”
Tomme deadpanned, “That’s called being an accomplice.”
Riyo waved dismissively. “I was seventeen and profoundly stupid. Let me live.”
Malory was practically vibrating. “Did Grandpa know?”
Riyo laughed at the memory. “Oh, he knew.”
She could still picture Enjin standing in the driveway, arms folded, expression unreadable.
“He just stared at us for ten full seconds in complete silence.”
Tomme’s eyes lit up as another memory surfaced. “Oh my God,” she said, sitting up straighter. “Tell her about the raccoon.”
Riyo’s face immediately darkened at the memory. “No.”
Malory’s eyes widened even further. “The raccoon?”
Riyo kept her eyes strictly on the road. “How about we don’t talk about the raccoon?”
Tomme turned in her seat, fully committed now. “No, no. We are absolutely talking about the Raccoon.”
Riyo made a sound of pure despair.
Tomme continued, grinning. “Her and Zanka found him behind August’s apartment after buying weed.”
Malory blinked. “Wait, Dad had a dealer?”
Riyo laughed so hard she startled herself. “Oh my God.”
Tomme was already laughing too hard to breathe. “Baby, your dad was the dealer.”
Malory nearly choked. “Dad was a drug dealer?!”
“Small-time,” Riyo corrected immediately, holding up one finger like a lawyer clarifying an important technicality. “Very small-time. Like embarrassingly small-time.”
Tomme nodded. “He sold to us, a bunch of art students, and exhausted line cooks.” She shrugged. “Half the time people paid him in leftovers.”
She leaned back in her seat, eyes gleaming.
“Don’t tell him I told you about this but there was this one time Enjin opened the freezer looking for ice cream and found six sandwich bags of weed stuffed behind a bag of frozen peas.”
Malory made a strangled noise of disbelief.
“Yes,” Riyo said, laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. “Man looked Enjin dead in the face and said it was oregano. Told him he was trying a new recipe.”
For a moment, the car filled with helpless laughter.
Riyo’s shoulders shook as she tried to keep the vehicle straight. Tomme was doubled over in the passenger seat, wiping tears from her cheeks. Malory’s laughter rang bright and incredulous from the back seat.
Outside, the late afternoon sun stretched long bars of gold across the highway, and the SUV ahead sat at the gas station pumps while its occupants undoubtedly purchased enough junk food to stock a convenience store.
As the laughter finally began to taper off, Malory leaned forward once more, bracing her arms between the front seats.
Her eyes sparkled with dangerous curiosity.
“So,” she said, grinning from ear to ear, “what happened with that raccoon?”
—
By the time all five cars finally rolled into the hotel parking lot, the sun was dipping low enough to paint the asphalt in long strips of gold and orange. Engines shut off one by one, doors flew open, and people began unfolding themselves from their vehicles like exhausted, lightly concussed clowns.
After nearly ten hours on the road, legs were stiff, hair was flattened in strange directions, and no one trusted their own sense of balance. Children stumbled onto the pavement clutching pillows and stuffed animals. Adults stood beside their cars with the glazed expressions of people who had listened to the same playlist and the same arguments for far too long.
“Mom!” Carter and Caleb had barely gotten both feet onto the pavement before they broke into a dead sprint.
They barreled across the parking lot at full speed, gangly limbs and dramatic energy aimed directly at Tomme like two overgrown golden retrievers.
She had just enough time to set down her bag and brace herself before both boys hit her at once. She staggered backward with an audible grunt, arms flying around them automatically as she fought to remain upright.
“Oh my God - ” she wheezed, “Hello, children.”
Caleb buried his face in her shoulder as if they’d been separated for years instead of a few hours while Carter clung to her just as dramatically.
“We suffered.”
A few steps behind them, Malory climbed out of the backseat looking like a cautionary tale about road trips.
Her hair was flattened completely on one side from sleeping against the window. There was a faint crease across her cheek. She blinked at the world with the unfocused expression of someone whose soul was still somewhere in Tennessee.
“I think I died three hours ago,” she announced.
Follo appeared beside her, stretching his arms over his head until his back cracked. “You’re alive enough to carry bags," he patted her back.
Malory stared at him dejected.
Nearby, Enjin stood beside the open trunk of the largest SUV, surrounded by enough luggage to support a small expedition.
He wore the thousand-yard stare of a man actively reconsidering every decision that had led him to this exact moment.
Riyo watched him for a second before snorting. “He’s doing the math.”
Tomme followed her gaze immediately. “Oh, absolutely.”
She adjusted Caleb’s hair absentmindedly. “He’s calculating how much jail time he’d get if he abandoned us here.”
Carter gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. “Grandpa would never!”
“He absolutely would,” Riyo said.
“Especially after the raccoon incident,” Tomme added.
Malory’s exhaustion vanished instantly, her head snapped up. “You still haven’t told me the raccoon story.”
Riyo tipped her face toward the sky like she was begging the universe for patience. “Oh my God.”
Zanka appeared at her side as if summoned by sheer panic. “You better not be telling her about that damn raccoon.”
Before anyone could answer, Jabber approached carrying Cynthia on one hip and gripping the back of Enzo’s shirt with his free hand.
Enzo twisted in his grasp like a determined ferret.
“Kid keeps trying to escape,” Jabber reported.
“I ain’t trying to escape,” Enzo argued, while very obviously trying to escape.
Zanka raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.”
From the next SUV, Gris stepped out carrying two duffel bags and a cooler as if they weighed nothing. Eishia followed, with June and Alice trailing behind.
The moment Alice spotted Riyo, she broke away from the group. “Mama!”
Riyo barely opened her arms before Alice crashed into her at full speed. “Oof - Jesus Christ,” Riyo laughed, stumbling backward but catching her daughter easily. “Hi, bug.”
Alice wrapped herself around her like a koala.
June approached more carefully, though the second Riyo extended an arm, she tucked herself against her side automatically.
“We’re never driving that long again,” June declared with solemn conviction.
Eishia leaned in just long enough to press a quick kiss to Riyo’s cheek before scanning the parking lot with the alert expression of a mother already counting children.
Gris shut the SUV door with his hip and nodded toward Enjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the open trunk staring into the middle distance like a war veteran.
“Is he okay?”
Tomme followed his gaze. “He’s one inconvenience away from becoming a forest cryptid and disappearing forever.”
Not far away, Enzo finally wriggled free of Jabber’s grasp and took off toward the row of luggage carts, being followed by Carter immediately.
The hotel’s automatic doors slid open and Rudo emerged carrying an absurd number of bags, apparently having misunderstood the concept of packing light.
Amo followed close behind with one hand on Reggie’s shoulder.
Reggie dragged a dinosaur backpack nearly as large as his torso.
Then he spotted Zanka and his face lit up.
“Uncle Zanka!” He launched himself forward like a tiny missile.
Zanka had roughly half a second to react.
“Oh, shit - ” He caught the little boy before he could face-plant into the pavement. “Hey, little man.”
Rudo finally reached the group and dropped three duffel bags onto the asphalt with a groan. “If anyone loves me, they’ll carry something.”
“Not likely,” Riyo replied.
Amo approached more gracefully, though she wore the unmistakable exhaustion of someone who had spent hours negotiating with a small child.
June looked up at Riyo hopefully. “Can we go swimming now?”
“No one is swimming until we actually check in,” Gris answered before Riyo could.
A collective groan rose from nearly every child in the parking lot.
Meanwhile, Carter had somehow acquired one of the luggage carts. He climbed aboard like a conquering hero. Caleb grabbed the handle and shoved. The cart shot down the sidewalk at a speed that immediately alarmed every adult present.
“GET OFF THAT THING!” Tomme shouted.
“They’re gonna die,” Gris observed calmly.
“Nah,” Follo said, folding his arms. “Probably not.”
The cart hit the curb sideways with a spectacular metallic crash. Then Caleb burst into helpless laughter. Carter threw both hands into the air like he’d just stuck the landing.
—
Somehow — through a combination of bribery and threats — they managed to herd everybody through the sliding glass doors of the hotel with minimal bloodshed.
Minimal being the operative word.
The lobby was warm and brightly lit, carpet floors, overstuffed armchairs, and the faint smell of chlorine drifting in from the indoor pool. Soft instrumental music played from hidden speakers in the ceiling, trying valiantly to create an atmosphere of calm that was obliterated the moment the family arrived.
At the front desk, Enjin met the eyes of the receptionist. He watched, in real time, as the light went out of the poor woman’s soul. Her shoulders straightened. Her expression shifted into the rigid politeness of someone bracing for a natural disaster.
Behind him, Carter and Caleb were in the middle of a heated argument over who was technically responsible for crashing the luggage cart into a decorative ficus outside.
“It was your turn to steer!”
“You told me to hit the gas!”
“It doesn’t have gas, Caleb!”
A few feet away, Enzo had discovered the complimentary mint bowl. His eyes widened like an archaeologist uncovering treasure, by the time Jabber noticed, Enzo already had both pockets bulging suspiciously.
Jabber caught him neatly by the back of his hoodie and lifted him an inch off the ground. “Nice try.”
Enzo kicked his feet in protest. “I’m gathering resources!”
Behind her father, Cynthia stood with two mints already stuffed into her cheeks, chipmunk-like and entirely unrepentant.
Near the entrance, Reggie had become mesmerized by the revolving door.
He ran through it once, then immediately circled back and did it again.
Amo pointed toward the door with mild concern. “Rudo. Your son is becoming rotational.”
Rudo glanced over just in time to see Reggie disappear through the spinning glass for the fourth time. He sighed, entirely too tired to intervene. “At least he’s contained.”
On one of the lobby couches, Alice and June had already established ownership. Alice was upside down, her head dangling over the cushions and her legs thrown over the armrest like a sleepy bat.
June sat beside her with all the dignity she could muster while still clutching the stuffed shark she’d brought for the drive.
Malory collapsed into the nearby armchair like a Victorian heroine succumbing to consumption. “If I move again,” she announced to no one in particular, “I think I’ll die.”
At the front desk, Enjin stepped forward and offered the receptionist the tired, apologetic smile of a man who knew exactly what he was asking of her.
“The reservations should be under Enjin.”
Her fingers flew over the keyboard and she nodded quickly, eyes flicking upward to the group behind him.
At that exact moment, Caleb turned too fast and accidentally smacked Follo directly in the face with a neck pillow.
Follo stumbled backward, caught off guard. August burst into laughter loud enough to echo off the high ceilings.
Carter, apparently undeterred by every threat issued in the past five minutes, climbed back onto the luggage cart and attempted to push off like he was entering the X Games.
Tomme raised a brow with the cold fury of a woman who had raised sons. “If you break your neck, I’m leaving you here.”
Nearby, Zanka held Cynthia up to one of the fish tanks.
The receptionist looked back at Enjin, visibly overwhelmed. “Family reunion?” she asked weakly.
Enjin glanced over his shoulder at the absolute circus unfolding behind him. “Something like that.”
Gris stepped up beside him carrying three duffel bags over one shoulder as if they weighed no more than grocery bags.
Across the lobby, Eishia finally noticed Alice hanging upside down. “Feet on the floor, please.”
Alice swung slightly but made no effort to comply.
June looked up at Riyo with sincerity. “Can we still swim if Carter breaks his arm?”
Riyo considered this. “Potentially.”
At the mint bowl, Jabber finally confiscated the remaining stash from Enzo. The child gasped as if betrayed by his closest friend.
“You’re ruining my life.”
“I’m saving your stomach lining.”
Enzo frowned, then turned to tug on Zanka’s sleeve.
“Can I have one more mint?”
“No.”
“What if I look extra cute?”
Zanka glanced down at him. “You always look cute but the answer is still no.”
Enzo sighed dramatically. “Damn.”
Tomme whipped around so fast it was genuinely impressive. “Language!”
Enzo blinked. “Sorry, Auntie. Damn, respectfully.”
Follo had to brace himself against the wall, laughing so hard his knees nearly gave out.
August was doubled over, “Oh my God,” he wheezed. “It’s fuckin’ genetic.”
The receptionist handed over the final keycards with the exhausted courtesy of someone who deserved hazard pay and emotional compensation.
Enjin accepted them like a war-weary general receiving crucial intelligence.
“Alright,” he announced, turning to face the family with all the authority of a substitute teacher three minutes from resignation.
“CALEB, PUT THE LUGGAGE CART DOWN!”
Enjin closed his eyes and inhaled slowly through his nose.
Beside him, Gris wordlessly stepped forward, lifted Carter off the cart with one hand, and rolled the contraption against the wall like he was disarming a dangerous weapon.
The lobby fell fractionally less chaotic.
Enjin opened one eye and looked at him. “Thank you,” he muttered.
“Alright,” he said, raising his voice just enough to get the attention back onto him. “Listen carefully because I am only explaining this once.”
Nobody stopped moving entirely, but enough heads turned his direction for him to continue.
“Rudo, Amo, and Reggie are across the hall from Gris and me.”
He handed off one pair of keycards.
“Riyo, Eishia, Alice, and June are on the second floor.”
Another set disappeared into waiting hands.
As Enjin continued assigning rooms with the exhausted precision of a military commander, Reggie tugged on Rudo’s sleeve.
The little boy looked up at him with huge, hopeful eyes. “Can I sleep in the bathtub?”
Rudo closed his eyes immediately. “Sure, buddy.”
Nearby, Caleb raised his hand from beside Carter like an eager student.
“And us?”
Enjin looked down at the final two keycards in his hand. “You,” he said carefully, “Carter, and Mal are sharing.”
Malory recoiled in horror. “Why do I get punished with them?!”
“Punished?” Caleb repeated, clutching his chest in deep offense.
Carter pointed proudly at himself. “I’m delightful.”
“You ate what? Six gas station hot dogs today,” Malory shot back instantly.
“Five,” Caleb corrected. “And one taquito.”
Malory made a noise of genuine despair. “Oh my God.”
Caleb slung an arm around her shoulders anyway while she tried unsuccessfully to shove him off. “Oh, come on. We’re gonna have fun.”
“You,” she informed him, “are literally the reason ibuprofen exists.”
“Okay!” Enjin called loudly before another argument could erupt. “Here’s the plan. We get our bags upstairs, and after that we’re heading to the beach.”
A visible ripple of excitement spread through the children.
“You can come if you want to, or don’t. I am perfectly happy if you don’t.”
The betrayal was immediate.
“Perfectly happy if we don’t?!” Carter clutched both hands to his chest like Enjin had just announced he was cutting them from the will.
Caleb staggered backward dramatically into the luggage cart.
“Gramps,” he whispered, “how could you say that after everything we’ve been through together?”
Enzo gasped so violently he nearly inhaled one of the stolen mints still hidden in his cheek. “After I fought for my life in that car?”
Across the lobby, Alice sprang upright on the couch. Her hair stuck out wildly in every direction from sleeping on it. “You would go to the beach without us?” she cried.
She pressed a hand to her chest dramatically. “I’m but a child!”
Caleb dropped to one knee in the middle of the lobby with all the gravitas of a Shakespearean tragedy.
“Please, grandfather,” he declared, one hand extended toward Enjin. “The sea calls to me.”
Carter mirrored him instantly beside his brother. “Its waves whisper my name.”
Enzo flung himself between them with both arms spread wide.
“And I,” he proclaimed, “am but a humble sailor with too many mints and nowhere to go.”
Alice climbed onto the armrest of the couch and pointed dramatically toward the hotel windows where the fading sunlight glowed orange.
“The tide waits for no one!”
Across the room, Malory buried her face in both hands. “I’m related to all of you.”
Caleb crawled forward across the lobby carpet until he reached Enjin’s shoes.
“If you abandon us,” he said solemnly, “tell the dolphins I loved them.”
Carter draped an arm over his twin’s shoulders. “And tell the seagulls they still owe me money.”
Enzo collapsed face-first onto the carpet. “Scatter my ashes in the kiddie pool.”
“I’m not dead yet,” Alice announced, throwing one hand dramatically across her forehead, “but I’m fading fast.”
Behind the front desk, the receptionist stood completely frozen. Her expression had gone eerily blank, like someone witnessing a traveling theater troupe collectively lose their minds in real time.
Even a businessman near the elevators had stopped pretending not to watch.
Enjin slowly closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, four children — and one stuffed shark tucked under June’s arm — were staring up at him like loyal subjects awaiting a royal decree.
He exhaled slowly through his nose. “You have ten minutes,” he said, “to get your bags to your rooms.”
“YES!” Caleb launched to his feet and spun in a full circle.
Carter grabbed Enzo around the waist and lifted him clean off the ground.
Alice dove off the couch and nearly tackled June in excitement.
Enzo pointed dramatically at Enjin. “You are merciful and just!”
“You’re my favorite elder!” Caleb shouted.
Carter wiped away an imaginary tear. “Truly a benevolent ruler.”
Alice threw herself around Enjin’s waist with enough force to nearly knock the keycards from his hand.
“Best grandpa ever.”
Enzo immediately attached himself to Enjin’s arm like an overexcited barnacle.
The old man looked down at the chaos surrounding him. He sighed the sigh of a man who had long ago accepted that peace was no longer possible.
“If any of you make me miss sunset,” Enjin warned, already sounding exhausted, “I’m leaving all of you here.”