Chapter Text
Eva Stratt couldn't sleep. It was a rarity that she even coaxed herself to crawl into her cot, too afraid to be not-busy for even a few hours, but tonight, she had pulled out all the stops. She had taken a hot shower, washed her hair, had a hot cup of tea, bundled up in cozy pajamas, and curled into bed with a boring movie playing and a mask over her eyes. Even still, she found herself pacing the dormitory halls of the ship that her crew had dubbed "Stratt's Vat" in her honor(?).
A loud voice came from one of the rooms- nothing important, she figured. She continued her pacing, forgetting that her hair was braided and pushed behind her back and she was wearing silky pajamas and fuzzy socks until the door the noise had come through pushed open. She froze, ready to fuss at an engineer for being out past curfew.
"Stratt?" Ryland Grace asked softly. His voice was… quiet, she thought. Hoarse. Almost wet.
"Doctor Grace?" Some small part of her wanted to help him more than she'd wanted anything in so long. More than she'd let herself want anything in so long. "What are you doing up?"
"I, um, I couldn't sleep," he said. She could see right through him. He stepped out of his room and into the hallway- his hair was mussed from sleep, his glasses nowhere in sight, his eyes red and puffy. She raised an eyebrow at him, though her head tilted in concern. She bit at her lower lip. "Fine. I had a nightmare. A bad dream. Happy now? You can tease all you want, just-"
"Why would I tease you?" Eva furrowed her brows. "More importantly, who would tease you?"
"It's- it's fine, it's nothing, just-" he cut himself off, and it seemed like his breath caught in his throat. Eva wanted to smooth the creases in his face, wipe the tears from his cheeks, tell him it would all be okay. She couldn't, that would be-
"Grace. Who would tease you for having a nightmare?"
"Stratt-"
"Eva."
"I promise it's no big deal. It's- no one here. Just- I had them a lot in college, and my roommate in undergrad would make fun of me. It's been so long since I've lived this close to anyone, so. First instinct, I guess."
She believed him. Either she really did, or she really would like to.
"Alright, Doctor. Come with me, will you? I would like something to eat."
She grabbed two pre-wrapped pain au chocolat packages- LeClerc wanted to kill her for many reasons, and having those on board among them- and shoved a plate with the two into the microwave. She poured another two mugs of tea, the scent of lavender and herbs wafting into the mess. Doctor Grace had wrapped himself tightly in a blanket, the chill from the upper decks seeping down to the crew bunk levels. She was sure the fear didn't help, either.
"I've got you some carbs and some sleepy-time tea. Olesya tells me that's what I should do when I can't sleep. She even snuck some of the tea onto the manifest for the last stop," Eva said, her voice quiet. She set the plate between them and a cup on either side of the table they shared.
Something within her wanted to spend forever like this. She wanted to get a house, after the launch, and sit with Ryland across the dining table, hearing about his students and telling him about the meaningless craft project she had taken on today. They could go to dinner, or ice cream, or watch a movie, or adopt a dog. She had no interest in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone, no matter how many time she had tried in university, but… a quiet life, domestic and sweet and full of love, sounded nicer in this moment than anything had in a long time.
"You're staring," Ryland said softly. She only hummed in affirmation. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong." It wasn't a lie. "I just… was thinking."
"You're always thinking."
"Yes, that is rather how human brains work."
"And you say you aren't funny," Ryland said, laughing just a little. She loved his laugh. She would listen to it forever, if she could.
She rolled her eyes- she didn't want him to think she had gone soft- and took a sip of the tea she had steeped. The taste of lavender and honey filled her mouth, a bit spoiled by the heat of the water nearly burning her tongue. She couldn't deny the effect, though, as she felt her shoulders drop nearly instantly. She took a small piece of one of the pastries before nearly shoving the full pastry into her mouth.
"That good, huh?" The edges of Ryland's lips turned slightly upward. He cautiously took a bit of his own pastry, seeming not to enjoy it near as much as Eva was. He hummed, and something about that was more endearing than she could put words to. He took a sip of his tea, and he smiled- a real smile, not the fake ones he gave her during UN meetings when he needed encouragement. "Thank you, Stratt."
"Eva."
"Right. Thank you, Eva. I should- I should go back to bed."
A pause. She mulled over the idea of taking care of him for longer than this.
"Would you like to come back to my room?" Why did she say that? What was she thinking? "Not in- not in that way! I just meant- I have a king sized bed, and if it was a nightmare bad enough to fully wake you, then it must have been bad. I don't- you don't need to be alone, if you don't want to be."
"I mean, um, if you really don't mind?"
"Do you think I would offer if I wanted you to say no?" She caught him open his mouth before thinking better of it and closing it again. "Go brush your teeth. I will come guide you."
"Thank you, Str- uh, Eva. For everything," he said softly. She almost wanted to cry for how sad he seemed as he looked at her. She hadn't done anything she wouldn't expect another of his closer crewmates to do, save for maybe the invitation back to her quarters. She wondered who he had worried about. She made a mental note to keep a closer eye on him in the officer's bar.
"Of course, Ryland."
She lingered outside of his quarters, waiting for him for hardly more than five minutes before he stepped out of the room. He had a blanket wrapped around him again, and she had a passing thought of him potentially being sick.
"I get cold when I sleep. Had poor circulation my whole life," he explained before she could say anything. She thought of the crochet needles and yarn balls in her office and bedroom drawers. She considered the way no one questioned what she was doing with her hands during meetings.
"Alright," she said, instead of "what size blanket would you like next?".
Eva's room was bare and impersonal, though she felt it cozy- soft sheets, plenty of fuzzy blankets, a few sparse trinkets scattered about (mostly from Olesya's shore leaves). She disappeared into the bathroom, making sure he was settled on the other side of the bed before she locked the door. By the time she returned, Ryland was laying on his side facing away from her, and she could hear a quiet snore coming from him. It made her chest squeeze tightly, the idea of being so vulnerable with him as to invite him in. She couldn't help it, though. Something within her compelled her to keep him as close as she could, to care for him as much as possible, to fret and worry over him. She thought again of a small cottage, a swing on the porch, a wide selection of craft supplies. A wide bed with room enough for the two of them.
"Goodnight, Doctor Grace," Eva said softly. She tugged the cord of her bedside lamp, pulled the sleep mask back over her eyes, and curled up to finally fall asleep.
She allowed herself, the next morning, to sit awake on her phone until he woke up.
"Where am I? What happened?" Grace asked, fear and sleep mixing in his voice. Eva's heart skipped a beat.
"Relax, Doctor Grace. You had a nightmare, we had some tea and a pastry, I didn't want you to be alone when you were as scared as you were." She gnawed on her lower lip again. She worried he would run, that he would remember what she's done. What she would do to his friends.
He sat up in bed, his tattered quilt falling around him in a pool. He rubbed his eyes almost like a toddler, and somehow, that was endearing, too.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "I… I appreciate that."
"Of course. Let me know if you need anything else." She pushed herself out of bed, already fully dressed and groomed for the morning. "And, Doctor Grace?"
"Yeah?" He cocked his head at her, almost like a dog.
"Be subtle on your way out."