Chapter Text
Sifo-Dyas was walking to a council meeting when he came across a curious sight. A youngling with snot dripping out of his nose and puffy red eyes grabbing Dooku's cloak tightly, not letting go. He and Dooku seemed to be having some sort of staring contest.
"Unhand me, youngling. Your manipulative tooka-eyes are more than just impertinent. A Jedi should not stoop to those tactics."
The child just hiccuped, still staring up at him.
Now that Sifo-Dyas was closer, he recognized the child. Initiate Kenobi.
"Yan, don't be mean to the child."
"I am not being mean. I am simply teaching him how a Jedi ought to act. " Dooku said before turning to him. "Plus, his hands are sticky."
"You know what? Fine. I'll get him off your hands." Sifo-Dyas tucked his datapad under his armpit and carried the toddler away.
30 minutes later, Dooku arrived at the meeting barely on time, only to come face-to-face with Sifo-Dyas bouncing a toddler on his lap while the toddler played with his hair.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Seen a toddler before, have you not?"
"This is a high-security meeting on the taxation of—"
"A born negotiator, young Obi-Wan is. See that, you will."
"Tell me you won't let them do this." Dooku turned to Yaddle.
"This council needs a fresher perspective," she said.
Dooku decided to bide his time. They would see that it would be distracting to have a toddler in the council meeting.
It was distracting. But only for Dooku, it seemed. All other councilmembers acted like it was normal for a toddler to join such meetings. They even meditated on his advice.
"Juice," the child said, pointing at Alderaan.
"Yes, Alderaan is known for its wines and ciders. Are you suggesting we should mediate the taxation on Alderaan's exports?" The child clapped. "Interesting approach."
"You cannot seriously consider what someone who can't even hold a stylus, much less write their name, has to say on taxes. Especially given the fact that the only thing the child said was 'juice' while pointing at a planet!"
"A born negotiator, I told you he was."
Dooku did not particularly enjoy meditating, he preferred philosophical debates and Makashi katas, but he spent the rest of the meeting in deep meditation. He wasn't roused from it until it was over and Sifo-Dyas, the traitor, held the boy close enough that he could give him a "bye-bye kiss" on the cheek.
The next time Dooku came across the child—initiate Kenobi, he later found out—was another council meeting. This one did not require all masters to be present given that it was only a few verbal mission reports on small missions that required some verification.
The toddler was sitting on the floor in front of Jocasta, with a children's picture book on what appeared to be Mandalore on a datapad. Dooku looked from the child to Jocasta, from Jocasta to the child.
Not her too! What had he done to deserve this? He then remembered. "The Lost Chronicles of Mid-Rim Desires" was overdue. But she couldn't be mad about it! He wasn't done reading it. He's been swamped with work and assisting Cin in a Makashi workshop. He hasn't even gotten to the part where Am'fenna and Barua confessed to each other! She couldn't be so cruel.
The toddler perked up when he saw him enter. But Jocasta reached down and patted his head. At least she was slightly merciful.
The whole meeting was surprisingly normal. The child sat and read quietly. Dooku would never admit it, but he was impressed. Most younglings his age would be running around, screaming and crying and stinking up the place. This one was surprisingly well-behaved.
The matter of the budget came to a standstill, and the council had to vote. It was him against Jocasta. He was confident he would win by a landslide.
It was a tie. A karking tie.
"Young Obi-Wan voted, he has not."
The child's head snapped up at the sound of his name.
"Prioritize the financing of the training salles," Yoda paused as if waiting for something, "or the Archives—"
The child clapped. The child karking clapped. He probably didn't even understand any of those words yet. Or perhaps Jocasta had trained him to react favorably when he heard the word "archives."
"This is preposterous! Jocasta clearly trained him to clap when he heard the word 'archives'!"
The boy did not clap.
"He is a toddler, Yan. Not a strill!" Jocasta looked genuinely offended.
"Why else would you bring the child here if not to sabotage my budget draft!"
"Because he got lost and didn't want to let go of me, you nerf—"
"Let's adjourn for a meditative pause." Sifo-Dyas spoke up. "I'll take Initiate Kenobi back to the Kybuck Clan."
Sifo-Dyas quickly stood up, grabbed the child, and fled. The doors hadn't even closed when the screaming match between Jocasta and Yan started.
He sped past a very confused Senior Padawan Windu on his way to the Kybuck Clan. Perhaps he could skip the rest of the meeting by claiming he had to help out the creche master. Yes, that was a great idea.
The next time Dooku saw Initiate Kenobi, he was practicing Makashi in the Training Salles.
He was in the middle of his stretches when he heard something, or rather someone, toddle toward him. He sensed for Force signatures and only felt the child's. Did someone lose sight of him? Did the child sneak past the creche master? Perhaps he was more skilled than Dooku gave him credit for.
"Initiate Kenobi, what are you doing here?" He asked the two-year-old.
"Doo!" The child said as he waddled closer.
Dooku looked at him. The child looked back.
"Perhaps you ought to focus on Shii-Cho before progressing to Makashi."
"Doo."
"Your argument is not just lackluster, but also illogical and dreadful." He sat down on the floor to finish his stretches. "However, if you wish to learn from the best duelist in the order, you ought to stretch and warm up beforehand."
The child sat heavily on the ground. He looked far too happy, and his Force signature was light and very warm. They clearly haven't even started to teach him how to shield.
Dooku decided to restart his stretches, not so the child could try to copy him, but because he had lost his momentum.
The child had the balance of a drunk bantha but managed to laugh it off every time he fell. That is after looking up at Dooku to see if he had done well.
They were in the middle of the first Makashi kata when Sifo-Dyas burst in.
"The creche lost a child!"
Sifo-Dyas then stopped and stared at the pair.
"You stole a child?"
Dooku didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say? "The child managed to slip past the creche master and tracked me down"? No one would believe him.
"I can't believe you would let a petty argument with Jo get this far!"
Sifo-Dyas scooped up the child and left.
By evening meal, the rumor going around the temple was that Dooku was stealing children because he thought the creche masters were bad at teaching.
"I would've brought Initiate Kenobi with me today," Jocasta said, waiting for the remaining masters to fill into the room, "but I was afraid Yan might take him and run. Next thing we know, he is raising the child in Serenno."
"Jo," Sifo-Dyas said.
"What? I am not the one stealing toddlers!"
"Reviewed the footage, I have," Yoda spoke up. "Steal him, Dooku did not. Bypass the creche masters, Obi-Wan did. How he found Dooku, we do not know. Pending, the negotiations are. Too many cookies, Obi-Wan asked for."