Chapter Text
I can't believe I'm writing in a digital journal, but I gotta document this fuckass highschool someway or another.
My name is Lucas, and me and my best friend Andy are forced to show up to this school every day at 8:20 am every morning. I hate it here, but at least he hates it here with me.
Right now I'm writing this under the desk in my English class. I'm going to tell you the story of how we escaped math class last week.
Mr. Jones was yapping on and on about some "inside out parabolas" or something I don't remember
anyways
I got a text from my boy Andy, so I pulled my phone out my pocket on the down low, it read:
"yo bro if you come out right now Lenny says he'll drive us to McDonald's on his way home"
man how THE FUCK am I suppose to get out of class right now? Mr. Jones is pretty strict so it'd be difficult to do the amount of finessing needed in order to successfully escape this classroom.
Knowing Andy he was already waiting at the curb with Lenny, and I had about 5 minutes before Lenny decided my ass was not worth waiting for.
I text back:
"Alright man give me 5 minutes"
I could always take the bathroom pass and book it, but security might come looking for me. The easiest thing to do would be to convince Mr. Jones that I had to leave RIGHT NOW otherwise something really bad would happen.
I packed up my stuff and shuffled over to Mr. Jones's desk. This is when I did one of my best performances.
"Uh excuse me, Mr. Jones? I feel really sick, can I go to the nurses office?" I put a little wobble in my voice to make it convincing.
Mr. Jones looked at me, eyes narrowed.
"Yes you can go. Take the pass." He turned back to his computer.
"Thanks" I turned on my heel, paused at the door to make sure he wasn't watching, and slipped out without taking the pass. Maybe he went easy on me because I usually try to do my work. He's pretty old too, so hell probably forget I even left.
And believe me when I tell you I BOOKED IT.
I burst out the front gate and there was Andy and Lenny, already in the car waiting for me. I opened the door and jumped in the back.
"Ayyy I knew you'd make it," Andy said. I nodded back at him, I was still out of breath from running.
"Took you long enough." Lenny pulled away from the curb and left the parking lot. It was now that I remembered that Lenny was not the safest driver. I put my seatbelt on because I'm not dying at 16 in the back of probably gonna be a highschool dropout's car.
After a lot of swerving and (only 1!) honk we made it to McDonald's.
"Get out of my car." Me and Andy scrambled out of the car and he sped off.
"What are you gonna get?"
"I was thinking burger and fries and an M&M mcflurry. You have money right? I paid most last time."
"Dude I thought you had money, you invited me!!"
"dawg I have like 2 dollars"
I pull out my super duper awesome swagalicous gangter Courage the Cowardly dog wallet (hot pink edition) and look inside.
"dude I have a five dollar bill and my bus card"
A fly might as well have fallen out of my wallet but that's okay because even super duper awesome swagalicous guys like me are broke sometimes.
Me and Andy end up sharing large fries with a side of ketchup packets.
"Wow this is so romantic" Andy said like it wasn't his fault we could only get one fry
"You're going to wake up tomorrow with your entire head shaved and your school computer obliterated"
the end until next time everybody