Work Text:
Ryland awakens the next morning with one of Tom's arms wrapped around him. The blankets are tangled, as usual, and he’s pretty sure his pillow fell off the bed at some point. Tom’s bicep does just as well apparently. He takes just a moment to gaze at Tom sleeping next to him. He’d prefer not to disturb this moment if he could. That’s simply not the case though. They still have more to discuss, more to figure out. Ryland is committed to his decision, he knows that. It doesn’t make this any less complicated.
Ryland pushes the hair that has draped itself across Tom’s face back and away. Tom shifts slightly into the touch with a soft huff. It's plain to see that Tom had not been doing well. That he’d been neglecting sleep. A decent night of sleep hadn’t erased all the signs, but he looks much better than he had last night. Ryland is sure he doesn’t look much better. They’d both been having a rough time.
Ryland wishes he didn’t have to do it. Didn’t have to end this moment. Didn't have to destroy this little bit of peace.
He also knows they can’t put it off. Time doesn’t slow down for anyone.
He leans forward, brushes his lips lightly to Tom’s and backs away. Tom begins to stir. It takes him a moment to really begin to wake up.
“Morning, Sweetheart,” he whispers. Ryland perks up at the pet name. It's been too long since he last heard it. Tom reaches over and places his hand at the nape of Ryland’s neck with his available arm. He runs his fingers through his hair a few times, smiles a bit crookedly. He leans in and gives back a more intentional kiss to the lips and one to the forehead.
Ryland decides that maybe a few more minutes here would be okay.
Eventually they figure out how to disentangle themselves like always. Ryland looks to see if he has an extra toothbrush for Tom, luckily he does. Other than that Tom only has the previous night's clothes and takes little time to be dressed. Ryland goes through his morning routine. Tom found and figured out how to use the coffee machine.
Sitting opposite of Tom, standing, at the breakfast bar, Ryland takes a sip, too hot, burns his tongue just a little and sets his cup aside to cool. It’ll inevitably never be the right temperature when he chooses to pick it back up.
“If this is going to work we need to lay all the cards out, plan ahead,” Ryland starts. “We can’t keep going how we were.”
“I told you most of it last night, but there’s a few things that you should know,” Tom looks at him seriously. “Savannah already rescinded her statements. A lot of what she said was exaggerated or untrue, but it had an impact. Iggy is going to make her first post tomorrow. It’s mostly to clear the air.”
He leans forward with his elbows on the counter and joins his hands in front of his face, “Then a week from that she’ll announce that we’re back together again. Gail’s got everything locked in. She wants it to be this whole PR thing. And she thinks it’ll get Iggy’s fanbase to chill out. It's all bullshit.”
“It's not ideal, far from it,” Ryland admits, he rubs his temple. They can make this work though. It feels like it puts them back at square one in a sense, maybe even lower than that. As long Tom will meet him in the middle they can figure it out.
“That’s not the only thing,” Tom confesses. He pulls out his phone and opens to an album. He slides it over so Ryland can read it and starts scrolling. “I don’t know if you’ve seen, but if not... I don’t want to scare you, but you should know about this”
It’s ugly. Terrible.
Ryland hadn’t seen. He’d been too busy. He doesn’t know what he could have or would have done if he had. There’s not a lot here on Tom’s phone, but he’s sure he could find more if he did his own digging. Ryland wonders if these are more mild than he’d find if he did go looking.
Insults and threats all aimed at Ryland.
It takes him a minute to process everything, before he states, “We should break up.”
Tom’s usually calm and level expression falls there to one of resigned understanding.
“Sorry, sorry, not what I meant, not for real,” Ryland placates. “If the relationship with Iggy is fake, then so can our break-up. We’d have to be way more careful and discreet, but…”
“I can’t ask,” Tom starts. “You don’t deserve to be a secret. I can’t put you in danger like this”
“You don’t have to ask. I’m already in danger, it wouldn’t change anything. I’m choosing this for us, for myself. You don’t have to feel bad,” Ryland hopes Tom can feel how convicted he is. “Unless you don’t want it.”
“I do,” Tom says, like it's really the only thing he wants right now. Their hands meet in the middle and they sit in silence for just a moment. It might not be perfect. It's hardly fair that they have to consider it. Frankly it might completely and utterly fail, but it's their decision.
Tom doesn’t leave right away. They start laying out what they’ll need to do to try and keep this as safe and secret as they can. Ryland will likely have to come to L.A. if they want to physically see each other. People will question where Tom is far more than himself. Ryland doesn’t even need to ask, Tom offers to foot the bill. He’ll have to Uber or taxi to or from the airport.
Phone calls will need to be more guarded. Planned ahead and in private when possible. If not they’ll just have to be careful with their words.
They’ll have to be more thorough about covering up. Ryland gives Tom a scarf to wear when he does eventually leave. It's a bit warm for it, but it's what he has available. Tom can return it later, maybe. Ryland definitely doesn’t catch him taking in a deep breath, when he wraps it around his face.
Tom suggests seeing if maintenance would replace Ryland’s door locks with something more robust. The ease with which he had been able to gain access makes him worry for Ryland’s safety. It’d be sweet if it weren’t so terrifying. Could that happen? Would someone really try to do Ryland harm in that way? Over this?
They can only control their own parts in this.
It’s a lot of effort to take on. It’ll be worth it.
Ryland takes to covering his face regardless, when he’s on the streets. People know who he is now. It makes him feel safer. Tom left in the early afternoon yesterday, giving Ryland time to call the school and set up a meeting. He managed to get squished into the afternoon. It had been nerve-wracking at first. He had no way of knowing what anyone knew about his situation as it stood. Even if they didn’t know about the whole thing going on with Tom, there was still Colt. He’s sure that news had spread.
The meeting ended up going relatively well. There’s the awkward moment or two. They figured everything out though. He’s back to the classroom already! It’ll be a nice distraction. Hopefully.
There are a lot of things that could happen. One good meeting is not enough to assuage Ryland’s worries quite yet.
He does catch the occasional hushed conversation as he passes parents dropping off their kids or teachers congregating in the hall early in the morning. It’s not unexpected and they aren’t being overly loud about it. He can tell it’s about him. He still finds himself trying to shrink in on himself a bit when in the halls. Hopefully this blows over and everyone settles down soon.
The couple words he does catch stab at his core.
Homewrecker. Parasite. Disgraceful.
Not as bad as what’s online but he can avoid that if he tries. This is right here. In arm’s reach.
Once he’s in his classroom, he straightens up and puts on his most confident smile. He needs to do his best for his students. He writes his name on the board as he introduces himself. He only explains that he missed the first few days due to a family emergency and leaves it there. He opens the room up for an icebreaker, while taking attendance.
He expects them to be nosy. To ask questions. It doesn’t bother him. They’re children. Naturally curious but rarely mean about it. Some ask for details about his absence. One asks about Tom. None of them mention the scandal. Maybe their parents managed to filter it from them. All it takes is reminding them that personal questions aren’t appropriate and they move on. This is a good batch of kids.
That seems to be the norm across the board with all his classes.
Throughout the day when he finds a spare moment he checks to see if Iggy has put out her statement yet. Nothing. It’d be nice if she did. It might make people around him stop giving him disparaging looks at least. Stop the words that keep hitting his heart.
The highlight of his day, other than his new students, is a text from Tom. Well actually four texts, in succession.
Tom: good luck today
im available later for a phone call
around 6 maybe
Love you
At the close of the day, while Ryland is cleaning up his white board the principal, Roberta Velasquez comes by to check in.
“How’d it go, Mr. Grace?” She asks.
He turns and goes to the desk to start reorganizing that as well, “I think it went pretty good,” He guesses. “The students were all really well engaged. The lesson plans left by the previous teacher were helpful, too.”
“That’s great,” She shifts a little, Ryland can see that there’s something uncomfortable coming from a mile away. “Listen, we have a bit of an issue.”
“Complaints from parents? Teachers?” he questions. He continues to work on packing up. Having something to do will hopefully stop his hands from trembling.
“Well, yes but that’s not the main thing,” She starts. “We don’t know if it will become a bigger issue, but someone came to my office and pointed out that there’s posts about you working here.”
“O-oh, okay,” Ryland stammers. This is bad. He thinks back to all those threats that he saw online. He has nothing left to pack up. He needs something to do though so he doesn’t start shaking. He grabs one of his dry erase markers and fiddles with it.
“We’re not worried yet about it, but if something comes up we may have to take action,” Her voice is stern. It says exactly what it needs to without the words. If they see any sign of a threat then he’s gone. Ryland couldn’t agree more. If him being here puts the students in harm's way he won’t be able forgive himself. He nods, she leaves and he sinks into his desk chair to take a solitary moment. He looks up at the ceiling thoughtfully.
It’s been one day. Sure the threats, slurs, insults were out there before now. But it's been one day since he knew and less than a day since his return to what is as close to normal as he’s had in a while. Normal. Does that even exist any more?
Ryland already had a full blown crisis when he got booted from his career and landed on teaching. He’s trying not to spiral into another right now. Teaching has been way more fulfilling. That’s the problem though. He genuinely loves teaching and getting to help nurture the future. It doesn’t matter though. If it came down to it and it was a choice between his happiness and his kids safety he already knows which he’d pick.
If Velasquez tells him to go, he’ll go without a fight.
At about 6pm Iggy finally makes the statement to clear things up. All this happened while they weren’t actively together. No one did anything wrong. Tom’s reputation isn’t necessarily entirely fixed but it's much better. Not everyone takes the post to heart though. There are those that don’t believe it and read it for what it is. A lie. Others just chose not to place any stock in it or ignore it entirely. The other narrative is more interesting anyway. A select few still believe Tom is scum and that Ryland is a homewrecker and that Savannah was the unknowing other woman. Ryland feels devalued. His relationship pared down to a quick fling, regardless of the narrative. There’s discourse overnight, but it dies down quickly, but not entirely.
In less than a week everyone will think Ryland was just a stop along the way to a reunion with Iggy. Everyone except Tom. It’ll be okay as long as he has that.
The whispers in the halls or outside during pick up and drop off subside a bit over the next couple days. A parent will still send a glare his way. A fellow teacher may whisper behind his back. It's bearable. But not perfect.
Midday break gives Ryland a bit of free time. It’d be nice to refill his coffee even if the stuff in the teachers’ lounge is always a little less than stellar. Hiding away in his room also feels like a poor idea. He needs to push through and try to socialize with his coworkers again. They need to all get along.
There’s only two people in the room when he enters. Sitting at a table tucked closer to the far corner of the room was Ms. Alisson Gregory.
One of the more recent additions to their team here that had initially sent him the photo that revealed his existence as Tom’s boyfriend months ago not realizing what it actually was. She had thought the resemblance was just a funny coincidence. Upon Ryland’s response, once he stopped freaking out and things had slowed down a bit from Colt’s fall, she had reached back offering a person to confide in if he needed it. He didn’t really take advantage of that, trying his hardest to keep his personal life away from his professional life. Clearly not entirely successful.
The other person present was the 7th grade social studies teacher, Mr. Samuel “Sam” Rhodes. Ryland assumed he was probably just passing through quickly. 7th grade usually didn’t have any sort of break at this time. Still Ryland makes sure to acknowledge both of them with a wave and a friendly greeting. The basic “Hi, how are you?” sort of thing.
Alisson just waves back. She’s got paperwork all over the table that she’s more focused on. Sam actually attempts the small talk. It’s tense and awkward for a moment. Then the room feels frozen.
“So I guess you’re back on the market now?” Sam says. Ryland can’t tell if he means it as a joke or not. It registers terribly either way. Is he asking because he’s interested? HR nightmare. Or is it just because it's the hot topic of the day? Invasive. It doesn’t really matter, it's in poor taste.
“Is your brain receiv…..”
Alisson speaks up, luckily before Ryland has a chance to finish telling this guy how his cognitive function must be failing him due to lack of oxygen. Ryland doesn’t need to add that to the list of reasons for Velasquez to cut him loose.
“Dude, you can’t just say stuff like that,” She says. The phrasing is lacking but her scathing tone makes up for it. It feels like she’s taken almost as much offense as Ryland. Someone caring and advocating on his behalf right now is not what he expects after the last couple days. “That’s wildly inappropriate. Be so for real”
She’s actually, really glaring at the guy. For one of the youngest on their staff she sure is scary. Sam shrinks under it, sputters a bit but ultimately leaves.
Ryland watches as the door shuts behind him and then turns back. “Um, thanks.”
Alisson waves her hand in a casual way and starts gathering her papers, “He’s an ass, whatever. I’m sorry you have to deal with this stuff. If you wanna report him let me know. Or if you just need a space to be that’s not your classroom I’m just down the hall,” She walks to the door. “For what it's worth you’re my favorite co-worker.”
Iggy and Tom become official in the eyes of the public three days later. Seeing all the reactions hurts too much. Ryland blocks the tags as they show up.
Even though he knows it’s fake, it still cuts into him. He needs more than a phone call or text to fill the piece of him that feels carved out.
He reaches out, Tom reaches back. They make plans. Tickets are bought.
They skip the closest weekend due to the proximity to the news of Iggy and Tom’s rekindled relationship. The week days are filled already with teaching classes and grading, but they have Friday night and Saturday. Ryland arrives at the airport in L.A. and has to find his own ride. He has them drop him off a few blocks away at a restaurant rather than directly at Tom’s building. It's extra effort, but it’ll be worth it.
Tom sneaks him in through a side door. The only time they are together while not inside Tom’s apartment is the route from there, up the elevator and in the door. They know that the only space that is safe is the inside of Tom’s apartment. They won’t and can’t be seen publicly if they can help it.
Ryland notices immediately that there is a sudden uptick in the amount of sticky notes since the last time he was here. Tom seems to catch him surveying the walls, counters and tables.
“It’s a thing, when I… get like I did,” Tom picks one note off the fridge. “I feel like I forget things so I start sticking these everywhere.”
Ryland scopes out the ones on the counter and picks one off, “‘Legalize marinara?’”
Tom puts a hand to his face, “I wasn’t entirely in my right mind, Ry.”
Ryland laughs. It's relaxed in a way that he hasn’t felt in a long while. He doesn’t have many safe spaces left, but this is definitely one.
The place is nearly plastered with sticky notes though and that's a little…. Unnerving. Unsettling. Ryland offers to help Tom sort and discard them. It's overwhelming for Ryland, but even more so for Tom. What if there’s something important in these tiny sheets of paper?
They at least get the main surfaces uncovered. The kitchen counters and coffee table are now sticky note free. Ryland keeps one for himself which just says “TR+RG” in a heart like some middle schooler’s notebook. This is a note he won’t pick on Tom for making.
Friday night is slow. Ryland brought work to grade and Tom had to review a script for a cologne ad. The silence between them, comfortable, only interrupted by the sounds of paper shuffling or pen scribbling. Tom takes to placing a hand on Ryland’s knee between page turns. Eventually he runs out of words to review, the script is short. He tosses it onto the coffee table and flops over so his head is in Ryland’s lap. Ryland doesn’t mind adding the task of running a hand through Tom’s (incredibly soft) hair between pen marks or page turns. Tom ends up falling asleep only to be roused by Ryland just enough to shuffle his way to the bedroom.
Tom constantly searches for physical touch in one way or another. Ryland soaks it up. Phone calls and texts may not always be enough when they have distance separating them, but Tom makes up for it easily when they are together. The quality time is more than worth the extra work.
Ryland already knows they can’t go out and be seen. Saturday will also be a day spent inside. They’ll find ways to use the time. Whether it's failed attempts at cooking or working side by side. Just being in each other's presence, it's enough. Ryland really should’ve realized that Tom was a movie guy, the memorabilia around his place and his large collection of films a dead giveaway. Ryland isn’t as big on it, but he interrupts just as much with trivia when he does know a film. Sometimes it's just background noise to another activity. Ryland likes to pick films that Tom is in occasionally. He misses Colt, the chance to spot him is a poor band-aid. Poking a bit of fun at Tom is a bonus.
“You really just said that,” Ryland teases with a sideways glance.
“I didn’t write it,” Tom returns.
“Whoever did, really thought that would be… hot?” Ryland questions.
“Why don’t you tell me?” Ryland lets out a soft oof when Tom pushes him over. Tom climbs over him and copies the slightly gravelly, accented voice of his movie counterpart and puts a hand gently on the side of Ryland’s face. “‘Don’t you worry, babe, love will see us through.’”
Ryland blinks up at him.
“Hmmm, seems like it does work,” Tom smirks devilishly. Erased by a throw pillow meeting his face.
“Absolutely not,” Ryland states, the blush on his face says the opposite.
“Sure, sweetheart”
Ryland decides he’s had enough of Tom’s smart mouth and yanks him down. Lips meet and part. Tongues tangle. Hands wander. Marks only left below the collar bone. Tom checks in with Ryland. The last 15 minutes of the movie and the credits go ignored. When the menu’s screen populates with a loud noise Ryland jumps. Tom pulls away and seems to really take him in for a second before one final short kiss. Tom picks the next movie.
Ryland returns home. Their schedules fill up, Tom’s more than his own. They manage with calls and texts the best they can. Once in a while they manage another weekend together but they are both busy. Tom and Iggy start prepromotions for Metalstorm. Ryland sees some of it. Tries not to be bothered. It's not real.
Almost eight months pass like this. It’s not perfect but it’s working. Ryland still hides when in public behind a face covering. He knows that most stuff has died down, but he still wants to be cautious. His coworkers and the parents have settled down. There’s a rare bit of whispering but it's fine. No threats have been levied or discovered against the school. The kids are safe.
He misses Tom. Further away than ever physically. Filming is starting in the next couple months for Metalstorm in Australia and Tom has already started spending time there.
The small vocal minority still exists though, never truly stopping.
They find his address.
Ryland comes home to his door ajar, handle broken. He turns around and goes back down to the main entrance. He calls the police. They scope it out first, whoever broke in is already gone. It's hard to tell, but Ryland doesn’t think they stole anything. He bounces a leg nervously. Tears prickle when he sees some of the gifts he’s received from students destroyed. One female cop tries to console him and gently asks if he has anywhere he can stay. He calls Colt first, he already knows before it happens, but he doesn’t pick up. Ryland feels conflicted, but ultimately doesn’t leave a message. He texts Tom, knowing that he can’t just call. He might be in the middle of something. He calls the school, letting them know what happened. They suggest a sabbatical of sorts. Ryland is more than understanding. If someone came to his apartment, who's to say they won’t try the school. He agrees. He needs to leave, but doesn’t know where. Even if he were to stay in this apartment he can’t afford it on the reduced pay that he’d get. Ryland brings his hands up to his face and covers his eyes under his glasses.
Is it still worth it?
Maintenance fixes the door quickly enough. It still doesn’t feel like enough. The landlord offers to let him move units. That’s only slightly better.
Tom calls not 10 minutes later as Ryland is starting to clean up.
Ryland explains the situation. He ends up feeling emotionally wrung out by the end. Tom does his best to console him, but it's difficult through the phone. Ryland tells him he can’t stay here. He’s scared. He also doesn’t have the resources to just up and move. Tom offers options. Gives Ryland what choices he can. Ryland has a difficult time accepting Tom’s financial help, but he’s short on solutions and Tom insists. His apartment, once he moves over to it, will still be here, but never truly feel safe again.
Ryland packs up a larger bag.
Locks his door, even though it feels pointless.
And gets on a plane.
There’s nothing and no one for him here anyway.
He’s going to Sydney.