Chapter Text
Being stuck in the middle of the ocean for a year almost did things to Ryland’s brain. Adjusting from biking every morning on his way to school to still being awake in the lab when the sun rose from the horizon is a whole new experience, something Grace didn’t sign up for. And yet, he never complained. Despite the long hours and the non-paying job he does, he enjoyed it because it was for his kids.
He loves his kids. So much. But sometimes he wondered if he was ever gonna have one of his own. He was fine dying alone anyway, after all, he had his twin brother by his side, but he was always busy with his work and getting married. Yes, Colt and Jody are getting married (finally), after nearly 5 years.
Here he was, attending the wedding as the Best Man. Colt fitted him with a simple black tux. The wedding was small and intimate, and everyone was having fun. He saw all of his old relatives, even those who distanced themselves after the fiasco at the UNESCO Conference in Denmark, and still had the nerve to smile at him now. Rude. He wondered how people could be a fraud to their own blood. Thankfully, Colt was never like that. He comforted and took care of Ryland when he was drowning in his tears before he found a job as a teacher.
The wedding was beautiful, and everyone was dancing and singing. Colt and Jody looked so gorgeous together; he was genuinely happy for both of them. They deserved this more than anyone he knew. Still, Ryland couldn’t help but feel envy, not that he didn’t want his brother to have his happy ending, but he just wanted his own. So he watched the crowd, as he always does. It’s not that he didn’t know how to dance, he just….didn’t want to anymore. Still, it would be nice to dance with someone once in a while. As soon as he thought that, he remembered Stratt, how her face is lit up by the orange hues of the sunset. He wanted to dance with her, but he wasn’t sure if she would want that, and he didn’t have the courage to ask her, yet. He doesn’t know why he thought of her. Wasn’t sure why. He dismisses that thought, afraid of where that thought will lead. He shouldn’t have even thought of her; he was her boss. Perhaps the excitement of the day was finally getting to him.
After half the day of shaking hands with guests and meeting new people, he was exhausted. Normally, he would still have energy at 10 pm at the vat, but the noise was getting to him. So Ryland stood at the bar, drinking the mocktail the bartender gave him while holding his tablet for work.
To be honest, he was surprised Stratt allowed him to leave the vat, let alone for a week. He stood in front of her, shaking as he asked her. She was wearing one of her usual black turtlenecks paired with a pair of grey trousers and her hair tied back into a low bun. It was simple, but he couldn’t help but think about how beautiful she looked. Stratt cleared her throat, “Sure”. She said without so much as looking up from her tablet. He wasn’t sure he heard her right. “Really?” He asked, a shyingly leaning his head to the left, like a curious owl. Stratt looked at him, annoyed by his cluelessness, but something in her face was different, soft, maybe. “Yes, go.” She replied, giving him a tight smile, a smile he barely saw in her face everyday, he supposed that’s what made it beautiful whenever he got a glimpse of it. The smile was gone, and she looked at him longer than she should’ve been before returning her gaze to her tablet once more. He said her thanks and left her office, looking back at her door while walking away.
A small smile crept up on his face, remembering her small smile. Then he remembered where he was; he lost the smile on his face, pushed down the memory from his mind, and focused on the wedding. Well, tried is the word. He slumped against the counter while following up with emails and waiting for one, a specific person’s email. That’s when Colt walked up to him.
“Why is my best man hiding in the corner instead of having fun?” Colt walked up behind Grace and nearly startled him. Colt peeked from Ryland’s shoulder to look at his tablet. “You’re seriously doing work? At my wedding? Come on, Man!” Colt playfully smacked Ryland on his shoulder while laughing, and he couldn’t help but laugh too.
“My work never stops, you know why,” Ryland told Colt about his sudden job that he got a month aboard the vat. Colt has been thrilled and couldn’t be prouder of his brother finally being a part of something Ryland always wished he was.
“Of course, I know, still, but you’re leaving tomorrow morning to get back to your job, it would be nice to see you having fun, it is my wedding.” Colt gestured to the space surrounding them. Ryland couldn’t help feeling, feeling, he didn’t know what, he just felt something while looking at the decorations, the wedding, everything. He didn’t want to tell Colt that, though. “I am having fun, Colt. It’s just…too much for me. But I’m genuinely happy for you. You deserve this.” Ryland clapped his brother’s shoulder, to which Colt pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, Ry.”
They stayed like that for a moment. Until Colt pulled away, wiping small involuntary tears that fell from his face. “Enough about me, what about you?” Ryland was still processing the question, not sure where the conversation was going. “Me? What about me?” Colt made an annoyed sound, as if he was stating the obvious with his question. “I mean, when are you getting married?” Ryland dropped his tablet on the counter, and a gasp escaped his mouth. “Colt, what are you talking about? I don’t like anyone like that at the moment,” Ryland said the sentence as if he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Colt. And Colt, the observant he was, raised an eyebrow at that statement.
“Don’t joke at me, Ry. I know you like someone, you’ve been looking at that tablet the whole day as if you’re waiting for something or, particularly, someone.” Colt stepped closer to a flustered Ryland. “Tell me who she is right now!” Ryland had to back away from Colt because he didn’t know how to answer what he was implying.
But did he like someone? He looked at the tablet in his hand, looking at the email forum, and realization dropped at him. He was waiting for an email from someone. Stratt. Did he like her? No, he couldn’t, right? He was just waiting for her email, professionally. He only liked her as his boss, his super bossy boss, his uptight boss, and his beautiful boss…Now he was certain he was tired. He can’t and shouldn’t think of her like that. It’s completely unprofessional. Yet, the orange-blonde of her hair lingered in his mind. Perhaps, he did like her? What a ridiculous thought, she doesn’t like him like that, he knows. Can feel it with the way she treats him.
“It doesn’t matter, Colt,” He sighed, scratching the back of his head. “She doesn’t like me like that, plus she’s busy.” She’s always busy. With two coffees clutched in her arms with the tablet in the other, she never stops. He wondered if she actually sleeps for more than a few hours or so, the exhaustion being more and more visible on her face and the way her shoulder tenses. Barely even seeing her eat a proper meal, that’s why every lunch before she returns to her office. He takes a small meal from the lunchroom and places it in her desk with water, always leaving a yellow sticky note with a silly encouragement to eat the meal, sometimes telling her how too much coffee is going to cause her a heart attack. Only he dares to enter her office without her permission, and shockingly, she lets him. He knows she knows that he is the one leaving those meals for her, otherwise she would’ve asked him to stop.
“Don’t bullshit me like that,” Colt snapped him out of his thought with his voice. “Who cares if she’s busy? If you like her, you should be making every moment worth it and help her fall in love with you.” Ryland couldn’t believe what Colt was saying.
“It’s really not that simple, and I do. not. like. her.” He really didn’t. It would be selfish of him to even pursue her; he would only be a distraction, something the world can’t afford. “It is that simple, if you love her, you would do anything. Like,” Colt pouted his lip, trying to think of a romantic gesture. “Building a fire to keep her warm.” Colt smiled widely at his sentence, looking very proud of himself.
“Did you take that from a Taylor Swift song?” I know he did. I looked at him, calling his attempt at being clever.
“Yeah, yeah, okay, I did,” Busted. “But, I make a fair point. If you do love her, and I know you do. Love her loud, give her what you can give, and make her feel as if she’s the most important person in the world.” Colt was about to say something more, but he was called by his college buddies to join them. “Give me a minute!” He shouted, then looked at Ryland.
“Listen to me, I know you’re not one for big gestures or words. But I know what an amazing person you are, and if she doesn’t see that, then maybe she’s not the one for you.” We both laughed at that. “But, if she does. Then grab her, tell her how much you love her. Time, Ryland. We’re all running out of time, make it precious.” With that, Colt hugged his brother, and Ryland hugged him back. He really did know how to keep Ryland going. “Love you” Colt whispered to his ear, to which Ryland responded back. Colt gave him a soft smile, patted his back, and returned to the crowd.
Now, Ryland was standing alone at the bar. He digested Colt’s words. Realizing he was right. Maybe he did like her. I mean, between the Sun dimming and his feelings, it's obvious which one should be the priority. It was one of the reasons why he was always enchanted by her, her relentless strength to fight for humanity. Sure, she was terrifying to everyone, but to him, she wasn’t; she’s focused, ambitious, and determined to save the sun, to save us. That’s why he loved her.
After all, how could he tell her? Stratt was always in meetings or away from the Vat on a conference on the other side of the world. Their schedules never lined up, even if he wanted to. The only time he got to see or talk to her was when he sat on her left during the 6 am debrief meetings at the conference room, the same conference room where Stratt introduced him to the people he now sees every day on the Vat. How time flies. Wait. Did he say he loved her? He did, didn’t he? He loves her. So much.
He sees now what he should do and what he would. This is worth it. She was worth it. She was worth everything. She was everything he ever wanted to love, even if he didn’t mean to love her, but he did. Like a light bulb being lit. He doesn’t know how he made it through the past years without her. Every decision he now made was entirely looking for her approval, as if she were his north star and he was the second star to her left. Every emotion he ever felt for her is coming up. The words Colt said to him opened his mind, like he was drowning and coming up for fresh air, making him realise he doesn’t want to live without her. He clutched his chest from the realization. He wants her to be the last thing he sees when he sleeps and the first thing to see when he wakes. He wants to run his hands through her hair. He wants to be with her when the world freezes. He wants her. He loves her. Now he was determined to keep her. He’s breathing hard, holding on to the end of the counter; he can hear the bartender asking if he’s okay, but he dismisses him. He loves her. Loves her.
Jesus Christ. How stupid could he possibly be, only to realise this now? In the middle of his brother’s wedding? He’s returning to the Vat tomorrow. How could he look at her with this realization? Knowing she doesn’t return the same affection. He wants to be with her so badly. He doesn’t know how he could handle without being hers any longer.
Ding. His tablet got a notification, his hand shook as he clicked on it, and there it was. The person he was just thinking of, Stratt. She sent him an email regarding the discussion topics for the 6 am debrief meeting tomorrow. 3 meetings, with her and a few other people in different departments. Still, how is he going to act spending a day with her? He was used to spending most of his day either in the lab or with her, but this was different; he was going to sit in that meeting not thinking about the person speaking in front, but her, her intoxicating presence that he just can’t seem to get away from. He scrolled down the email and read a small message, a message that shouldn’t be in there in the first place, a message that was so unlike her to say.
Hope you had fun. See you tomorrow.
It was that small, captivating message that solidified his decision. He was going to tell her, he just needed to find the time and the courage. How is he going to handle this?