Work Text:
Friday April 19th, 2019
Ilya<3
7.51 PM
I come over this weekend, yes? Before game monday
Oh, sorry. Shit, I completely forgot, but I can’t spend the day with you.
What, why?
You have other hot boyfriend coming to town?
No. I don’t have another boyfriend.
I have to go to the Montreal Grand Prix. I was invited by a sponsor.
Sorry, I completely forgot
WHAT?
SHANE
YOU WILL SEE F1???
LEWIS HAMILTON!
It’s not that interesting. There are other things I would rather do.
Like spend my free time with you
No. Shane! Not true. Formula 1 is incredible.
I cannot believe they invited you.
You are Canadian, only boring Indycar exists here. I am Russian. Was raised on f1. How dare they?
Ilya…
NO.
Never have I been more offended
This is rude.
Do you even know who Lewis Hamilton is?
I’m not an idiot.
He’s a driver. Your favourite.
Which team?
What?
Hamilton’s team.
Oh…
SEE!?!?! You don't even know!
Mercedes.
Fuck you, I knew. We have the same sponsor.
I’ve met him before.
SHANE!
NO SHANE
NO!
You have not told me this???
Betrayal!
My own boyfriend? This is worst thing ever happen to me
It was like, four years ago or something.
I am melting!
I am dead
Deceased
Stop being dramatic
You hate me. Clearly.
Proper boyfriend would tell me he knew Lewis Hamilton.
I don’t know him!
Does he know your name?
Uh…
Yeah, I guess?
Probably
Then you know him.
i feel so betrayed
Hottest man in f1 knows my boyfriend
So not fair
Ilya
Do you…
Do you have a crush on Lewis Hamilton?
Crush?
I do not know this
Hamilton is just very good at his job.
Yeah, but so am I. And I know you really like people who are good at what they do…
…
Blyat.
Oh my god! YOU DO!
Hahaha, this is great!
This is bullying!
I’m just excited because my boyfriend is meeting man I admire a lot
But my boyfriend make fun of me
Hrmpf. Have fun at race, I guess
Stop being a baby
I’ll tell Hamilton you say hi
SHANE!
Saturday April 20th 2019
Ilya<3
8.58 PM
I have a question
Please don't laugh
I make no promise
It is my job to keep you humble
But go on
What do I wear to the paddock tomorrow?
Hahaha
I am laughing
I can not believe they will let you in
Is so annoying
Yeah, well
So are you
I’m calling Rose
Noooo!
Shane, moya lyubov'!
Call me instead
I promise I will help
And only bully a little
Fuck off
I’ll call in two minutes
Sunday April 21st 2019
Ilya<3
3.07 PM
I think I’m in the Mercedes garage.
Which is fun. I thought I would be on the balcony
You are what?
I think because of the sponsor thing.
Someone told me to go in, and gave me headphones
You think???
Toto Wolff says hi.
TOTO???
Tall guy. Glasses.
Kind of hot
Shane, I am going to chew through the floor
Baby, relax.
You are hotter than him!
That is so not the…
Whatever.
Some people spend entire life loving F1
And other people wander into paddock by accident looking for sexy men
The men are pretty sexy.
I hate you.
<3
Drive safe by the way
Can’t wait to see you when I get home!
Your other boyfriend btw
He asked if you were single.
BLOCKED.
Ilya<3
4.17 PM
Hi!
Did you get in okay?
Race start was insane! The drivers reaction time is so impressive
Ilya…
Yes. I am at home.
In empty apartment
All alone
Because my boyfriend wanted to go watch twenty sweaty men ram into each other from behind
Oh my god…
I think they try not to hit each other from behind
Or at all
Yes, Shane. I know.
I am watching. I like that you waved to me when they put camera on you
Of course<3
And tell Ryan Gosling I say hi
Who?
YOU ARE STANDING NEXT TO HIM!
SHANE
I am deceased
this is cruel and unusual punishment
Ilya<3
4.47 PM
What just happened?
Everyone is yelling!
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
You are one there!
Yeah, but you know the sport!
Shit, the tall german seems really upset
Shane, moya lyubov', that could be half the grid!
Oh, tv just caught up to live
Magnussen hit Bottas
Bottas drives for Mercedes
Team you are with, by the way
Yeah, I know that actually
I talked to him earlier
Ilya<3
5.01 PM
Wait…
Why are they changing the tires? They looked fine.
Holy shit, that was fast!
Oh my god.
No, no, Ilya.
Seriously! Explain, please.
…
Baby is learning.
Ilya<3
5.14 PM
The Ferrari strategy is so bad!
WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?
I’m learning!
It’s actually kind of fun
Wow, almost like he forgot I have been telling him that for years…
Shut up!
I might see the apeal
Ilya<3
6.13 PM
What is this?
You met Roscoe???
He was a very good boy!
Why:( Do:( You:( Hate:( Me:(
Stop being such a baby
You’ll be sleeping on the couch
Are you jealous? Of me meeting a dog?
No.
You sure about that?
No.
So you are jealous?
What, no! Stupid English.
I’m on my way home. I want a kiss.
No. No kiss for you.
I got Lewis to sign you a cap and give you his sunglasses.
I’m putting the heater by your side of bed
I love you
No cold bed for my love
Best boyfriend ever!!!!!!!
That's what I thought.
<3.
```