Nopeittiemeow



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    A missing tooth. A standard hockey emergency.

    When a brutal elbow leaves Shane Hollander spitting blood on the ice, he lands immediately in the hands of the opposing team's dentist.

    Shane thinks the dentist saw a cavity. The dentist knows he saw a secret.

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    29 Mar 2026

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    Sochi Olympics, 2014.

    "MASSIVE ICLOUD HACK REVEALS PRIVATE PHOTOS, MESSAGES, VIDEOS OF HUNDREDS OF OLYMPIC ATHLETES"

    Ilya feels a trickle of unease down his spine. He shakes it off impatiently as he clicks on the article.

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    24 Mar 2026

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    Wiebe could tell he was wearing Ilya down, but he still looked nervous. "Ilya," Ilya stilled. To his team he was always Rozanov or Roz or Rozy, never Ilya. "You're our guy. There's nobody I'd rather be our captain, to lead this team to another Stanley Cup. It's clear you don't like the guy, but we both know how good this could be."

    Ilya jerked his head in a nod. "We will destroy everyone, this is true." Wiebe seemed satisfied. Ilya stood to leave and delivered one last look at Wiebe "But I do not have to be happy about it."

    ***
    Shane and Ilya are estranged for years after Tuna Meltdown. Then Shane confuses everyone by signing with the Raiders.

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    08 Mar 2026

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    “Shane Hollander’s having a big gay wedding.”
    Ilya’s ball rocketed sideways into the woods with a crack like a rifle shot; somewhere in the trees, a goose honked in outrage.
    “Jesus Christ,” Tyler said.
    “Wow,” Marly said. “That was…what the fuck was that, Roz?”
    Ilya was gripping the club so hard his knuckles had gone white. “Bad swing.”
    “That wasn’t a bad swing, that was like a physics-defying swing. I didn’t know you could make a ball go in that direction. You okay?”
    “Fine.” Hollander was getting married. Getting gay married. Who the fuck was Hollander marrying? He wasn’t even… Ilya cleared his throat, shoved his biggest club back in the bag, noted distantly that his hands were shaking. “Hollander is gay?”

    OR: Ten years after the Tampa Bay All-Star Game, Ilya Rozanov crashes Shane Hollander's wedding

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    21 Feb 2026

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    “Oh, fuck off, Rozanov,” Shane seethed. “What do you want?”

    Retracting his arms to his sides, Rozanov sniffed once and peered around the bathroom. “Just came to say hi.”

    “Well, you didn’t,” Shane pointed out.

    With a jerk of the head, Rozanov once again trapped Shane in his heavy gaze. There was an inexplicable fire in those ice blue eyes; a heat that shouldn’t have been possible given the frost of Rozanov’s overall expression. His features—pinched and still—were the perfect facade of calm… unless you knew where to look.

    The eyes. Shane always saw the blaze behind those glacial pools.

    Nyet,” Rozanov agreed, lips barely parting around the nod to his mother tongue. “I didn’t.”

    He took one large step towards Shane, and Shane reflexively retreated, staggering backwards until he made contact with the wall. Cold tiles stuck to his T-shirt at the shoulder blades, and he gasped as he arched his back.

    “Then wha—?” he began.

    When Shane Hollander excuses himself to the men’s room at Ciel nightclub in Montreal, Ilya Rozanov follows him. And, this time, the Russian is determined not to go home alone…

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    25 Jan 2026