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do not worry i am allowed to say it 👍

Summary:

Ilya gets caught on camera saying the f-slur. The Internet freaks out. He reveals he's allowed to say it. The Internet freaks out in a different way.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

r/hockey

u/bostonbearsburner

ilya rozanov says f-slur

[Video ID: A shaky, blurry video of a hallway with a door at the end. A group of men, identifiable as the Boston Bears by their black and yellow game day jerseys, flood past, laughing and talking loudly. They are surrounding their captain Ilya Rozanov. As they open the door, revealing a locker room, a Russian-accented voice can be heard yelling, “That’s how faggots do it!” There are cheers. The door closes, cutting off the rest of the conversation.]

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Pinned Comment

u/hockey4ever • MOD
A reminder that hate speech of any kind is not tolerated in r/hockey and will result in bans. This includes homophobia.
u/bearwithme
    someone should’ve told roz that

u/voyageursontop
hockey player homophobic fork found in kitchen
u/voyageursontop
   
and hes russian too idk what ppl were expecting
    → u/bearwithme
       
doesn’t make it okay!
         → u/voyageursontop
             
never said it was ok just said it isnt surprising

u/godpuckingdamit
Cannot believe that people are throwing around the f-slur in the year of our lord 20XX
u/godpuckingdamit
   
Actually yes i can but it still fucking sucks.

u/ra_ra_rozanov
wait this literally doesnt make sense roz literally uses pride tape even tho thats dangerous for russia???
u/voyageursontop
    
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Performative_activism

%%%

Ilya Rozanov Updates @TheRozSociety
We are aware of a video spreading of a Boston Bear, most likely Ilya, saying the f-slur. We categorically condemn hate speech of any kind. We will update you if/when Ilya makes a statement, but we will otherwise temporarily take a step back from managing this account while we figure out our next steps. No matter what happens, thank you for being a part of this community with us and creating such a beautiful space.

Replying to @TheRozSociety
dan @bearpropaganda
all this just for one little slur? ill take over from you any day

Replying to @bearpropaganda
dan @bearpropaganda
dude they fucking blocked me

Boston Bears ✓ @BostonBears
We regret to confirm that a video circulating online does depict Boston Bears captain Ilya Rozanov using a slur to refer to our opponents. The Boston Bears are proud to welcome people of all genders and sexualities, and this language is unacceptable. Rozanov will be disciplined, and we will work to foster a more inclusive environment both inside and outside of our locker room.

Replying to @BostonBears
puck me baby @bostonslut
Not telling us what the punishment is, or even revoking his captaincy? Tell me you’re not taking this seriously without telling me you’re not taking this seriously

%%%

Trending

#cancelilyarozanov

%%%

lisa (pr person)

Ilya you cannot say that

say what

Regardless of your personal opinions, you cannot get caught on camera saying a slur. Expect some internal investigations in your future

ohhhh this is about me saying faggot?

Ilya!

what is wrong with saying it???

We’ve already put out a statement condemning it, but we recommend that you apologize too. We’ve drafted a potential statement for you to consider. We strongly recommend that you don’t change it.
[File: Rozanov Slur Statement]

ok i will put out a statement lisa 👍

This statement?

Ilya???

%%%

ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
do not worry i am allowed to say it 👍

Replying to @ilyarozanov81
puck me baby @bostonslut
WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Replying to @bostonslut
pucksutawney phil @abearnotagroundhog
I KNOW IM SUPPOSED TO BE PSYCHIC BUT ILYA ROZANOV COMING OUT AS GAY BC HE WAS CANCELLED FOR SAYING A SLUR WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Replying to @abearnotagroundhog
ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
bisexual actually 😎

 

Replying to @ilyarozanov81
john @alphahockey
dude whyd you have to do this now? i liked you!

Replying to @alphahockey
ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
is it not obvious? the gay agenda 🏳️‍🌈 ps good thing you do not like me anymore because i do not like you either

 

Replying to @ilyarozanov81
THIS IS OUR YEAR @queerbears
I know the rules of the internet have said it’s okay for Rozanov to say faggot since he’s queer, but it’s not reclamation if he’s using it derogatorily to refer to the other team. Glad he’s come out but want to make this clear

Replying to @alphahockey
ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
actually i was referring to myself (my goal in the third period) (also me in general)

Replying to @ilyarozanov81
THIS IS OUR YEAR @queerbears
Thank you for clarifying! And congrats on coming out!

Ilya Rozanov Updates @TheRozSociety
NVM RETIREMENT CANCELED. SIRI PLAY ALL I DO IS WIN

Replying to @TheRozSociety
ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
you are welcome for not being homophobic. keep updating on my gay adventures

Replying to @ilyarozanov81
Ilya Rozanov Updates @TheRozSociety
sir yes sir! 🫡

Replying to @TheRozSociety
ilya rozanov ✓ @ilyarozanov81
no i only like to be called sir in bed. and it is unethical to be in a relationship with my updates account. sorry i know i am very hot and sexy but i am already taken!

%%%

jane

oh by the way i came out

ILYA.

was fun! you should try
beating homophobes on twitter
because it is “illegal” to do in real life
unless they are on the ice with me!
dallas kent i will kill you 😈

That’s premeditated murder and that’s illegal
Also. ILYA
Why didn’t you warn me???

idk
lisa the pr person said people were mad and i should apologize
and i did not want to apologize
so i came out.
i wouldve told you if i had planned it

Thanks
You can’t tell anyone about me

no shane now that i have come out i must give media a list of every guy i have ever fucked
i do not want to but i have to 😔
as my duty to the gay agenda

Asshole

yes i love yours
how is locker room?

Not as supportive as I hoped
Hayden keeps giving me weird looks
I think he might know

you are overthinking
hayden pike does not have the brain cells to figure anything out
if he does i have not been doing my job right and i will fix that next game

Hey he’s my friend!

bleh. fine. for you, my jane.

How’s your locker room been?

i knew locker room would be okay bc marly’s sister is a lesbian and so we stop homophobic talk.
also we are in boston there are so many queer people in boston. if you give a fuck you will run out of fucks to give.

I’m glad your team’s been supportive.

yes, team is fine. i tell them i have been bisexual as long as they have known me, and it has never hurt them before. i tell them i am best player in NHL even though i fuck both, and i want to win boston a cup so if they want a cup, they must work with me
i tell them also i want to fuck the other team, not them, and anyway they are all too ugly for me to want to fuck. and then i remind them how good sex with montreal jane is.

What do you mean REMIND???
Ilya?????

%%%

ESPN Sports @ESPN_Sports
Ilya Rozanov on chirps.

[Video ID: Ilya Rozanov is standing shirtless in a post-game interview. A reporter holds a microphone in front of him.

Reporter: Ilya, obviously the big news is your coming out. How do you think this will affect how other players treat you in games?

Ilya: Should not change much. The stupid, boring, uncreative players already call everyone a faggot because they think it is a new chirp. Except Shane Hollander. He is boring but also Canadian. Also he is too good to rely on slurs, yes? Second-best player in the league.

Reporter: But Ilya, to answer my question, how will this affect you now that it’s true?

Ilya: It has always been true. They just know it now.]

Replying to @ESPN_Sports
shane hollander my love @voyavoyageurs
Ok putting aside the Rozanov hate for a second. I love that he’s implying Shane is too Canadian to be homophobic. Like I know that’s not true bc I know lots of homophobic Canadians, but also I want to live in whatever world Rozanov does

Replying to @ESPN_Sports
puck me baby @bostonslut
“they just know it now” FUCK ME DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART IT’LL HURT LESS

%%%

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

Hey Rozanov.
This is Scott Hunter. I wasn’t sure if you’d have my number saved
I wanted to thank you for coming out. It took a lot of courage to do that. Obviously it means a lot to the world, but it means a lot to other players too. It shows us that maybe there’s a way forward that isn’t staying the closet until retirement. You’re making it possible.

ok grandpa

Jesus fucking christ can you be serious for one second

i call you grandpa now! because we are family, yes? this is what they say

Hi this is Scott’s boyfriend. He’s currently crying on the couch

hello scotts boyfriend. i have not seen you but i already know you are too good for him

Awww that’s sweet of you to say. We should meet up next time you’re in NY!
And yes you’re right. On behalf of the community, welcome to the family! 🤗

what is that it wants to fight me?

No it’s the hug emoji!

oh. stupid emoji.
but thank you.
🤗

%%%

Ilya Rozanov Updates @TheRozSociety
Also uhhh in the middle of all this. Did Roz say he’s dating???

Notes:

Hayden, laying awake at night: #cancelilyarozanov has the word "lily" in it. Huh. I'm sure that means nothing.

I know this means Ilya doesn't get the chance to go home and say goodbye to Irina's grave, but I think he does take a moment with her cross to tell her what's happening, and why. In the TV show Ilya says, "She was so funny and beautiful. And she was so sad." Metatextually we know he's also referring to himself, so I'm choosing to interpret this as Ilya got his sense of humor from his mom and she also would've thought this whole thing was hilarious.

I'm not sure how much this changes for Shane and Ilya. I think it does accelerate the timeline a little; I imagine this happening the year Boston wins the cup, and I think Scott does still come out via Kip kiss the next year. In canon this is what lets Hollanov know it's okay to exist as a queer hockey player, but since they already know that here, I think Ilya might move to the Centaurs the year after Scott comes out (instead of the canon one more year with the Bears, IIRC).

EDIT: It has been pointed out to me that this timeline actually doesn't really make sense because of the "taken" comment (in my defense I'm so used to Shane and Ilya being together that I forgot there was a time they famously Were Not). Instead, I'm setting this during the season New York won the Cup, between Shane getting knocked out by Marleau (Marlow?) and Scott winning.

Thank you so much to nineteenohtwo on AO3 and Tumblr for telling me how to do the Twitter vertical line reply thing!!!

I know my own tendency to write with loads of semi-colons, and so I tried really hard to make sure no one in the fic did. I think I was successful!

Truly coming up with usernames is the worst part of social media fics. Ilya's update account name is a shoutout to the real-life update account of real-life figure skater Ilia Malinin. The r/hockey ban page (https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/wiki/bans/) was also helpful!

Thanks for reading, and let me know if you liked it! I have a couple other HR social media fics percolating, so I hope to be able to sit down and get those out of my head at some point. Fingers crossed!