Chapter Text
“Where’s Mac at? It’s almost lunch. I tried givin’ him a call but I think he left his phone up in his room.”
“Think he said he was goin’ to the lake to be one with nature for a while. Probably just clearin’ his head of all the science things he’s thinkin’. He should be back in a bit.”
Julia hummed, continuing to prep lunch. “He seems a lot better with how he’s doin’. Still ups and downs but the downs don’t seem to go too far anymore.”
“He is doin’ a lot better. Think it’s finally settlin’ in that we want him here.” Jack said, catching the look that passed his mother’s face. “You don’t think so?”
“It’s not that, but I see a longin’ in his eyes sometimes, like he’s just missin’ his home, or at least the people that used to be in it.”
“Yeah… I know he and Bozer haven’t talked in a while, what with him bein’ busy with work and stuff. Think the last time they actually did talk was after that big storm we had a month ago.”
“Why not invite him here? Find time he’s got free and just have him fly out as a surprise. If he’s worried about money, I’d be more than happy to help with that.”
“I dunno if he’d accept that, but I’ll give him a call and see what he thinks. I know he’s been wantin’ to come out, just been busy with everythin’.”
“You do that, and go ahead and fetch Mac. I know he’s clearin’ his head but I also know he tends to get lost a bit when doin’ so.”
“Alright.” Jack got up from where he was sitting and headed to the door, grabbing a set of keys before heading out. He went to the shed and mounted the other ATV that was there, starting it up and heading out on the trail that led to the lake.
He was happy with how everything was progressing. Mac was starting to act like the guy he was partnered with in the army; confident, a little cocky, but overall just— happy, or better. He’d started saying what he was going to do instead of ask permission, and when he started ranting about something he was excited about, he kept talking instead of apologizing and not touching the subject again. It had taken a little time, but Jack thought Mac was finally starting to realize he was wanted and had somewhere he could call home.
After a short ride, Jack arrived at the lake, parking his ATV next to the other. As for the one he was trying to find, Mac was at the end of the dock, laying on his stomach and looking like if Jack was able to scare him that he might fall in.
The whole scene was picturesque. The water on the lake was being blown by the small bit of wind, sun was just barely starting it’s decent, and there was no one else to be seen. It was calm and quiet, a vast difference to what it was like in the summer. It was a perfect place to get lost in thought, which was exactly what Mac was doing.
Jack didn’t actually want to approach him, not to disturb the peace. Mac hadn’t so much as turned his head to acknowledge anyone else was there, and it was highly unlikely that he didn’t hear the ATV pull up. Still, he walked quietly on the dock, seeing that there was a small pile of leaves sitting beside Mac.
He didn’t speak as he neared Mac’s side, instead watching what he was doing. Along with the leaves, there were a few pens. Jack watched the one in Mac’s hands already, taken apart so it was just the ink tube with barely any ink actually left. He watched as the last bit of ink got blown out onto the tip of a leaf then set in the water where it immediately took off like it had been motorized.
“Hey that’s pretty cool. How d’ya make it do that?”
“The ink has a lower surface tension than water, so the surface tension at the tail end of the leaf is lower than at the front which creates a pull at the front of the leaf, making it move forwards.”
Mac sounded… not— off, but like there was an underlying sadness that wanted to break him apart. It was different from the other times when he was having difficulty adjusting or believing things. It was the sadness Jack hadn’t seen since they were deployed, and even then it wasn’t exactly the same.
Mac sat up, gathering the parts of the pens he’d taken apart. “I wasn’t going to be late for lunch. I have a watch and I even set a timer on my phone just in case.”
“Fat lotta good that’ll do ya since ya forgot it back at the house.” Jack snorted at Mac’s blue tinted fingertips and lips. “You look like a kid who thought blue paint tastes like blueberries.”
A short chuckle. “I figured as much. Thought I got majority on my fingers.”
“Ain’t too bad. It’ll give mama a laugh for sure. If we head back right now then you could probably get cleaned up, take a quick shower.”
“In all honesty, I’m probably going to come back after we eat. This place kind of reminds me of a lake my grandfather took me to; brings back a lot of memories I forgot about.”
“Yeah, this place holds alotta good memories for me too. Years of reunions and parties, and gettin’ flipped while bein’ pulled behind a boat. We should do that some day, make some new good memories.” Jack held his hand out. “C’mon. Mama will yell at us if we let lunch go cold.”
Mac grabbed Jack’s hand, allowing himself to get pulled up. “Wouldn’t want that to happen.”
***
“I’m just sayin’, I think it would be good for him if you came for a visit.”
“Yeah man, course. Nothing I’d like more honestly. I just gotta get someone to cover my shifts and I should be all good to go. So— I dunno, I’d say a few weeks at least. I mean I got like all my vacation days and favors I can call in from covering for others, but our new manager isn’t chill like the old one so it might just take longer.”
“Course. No rush or anythin’. You get things settled then gimme a holler. And I’m pretty sure mama might give you a ring at some point sayin’ she wants to fund the trip. Refuse all ya want, or don’t, but I think she’d settle on goin’ halvesies with ya.”
“Sounds like she wants me there more than Mac does.”
“I don’t think Mac knows he wants you here. I see him bummed when you two can’t talk, but both me and mama can see him longin’. Hasn’t said anythin’ obviously.”
“Just like him… but yeah. I’ll talk to my boss tomorrow and see what I can do. Maybe I can be seeing you guys at the end of the month.”
“Let’s shoot for that. We’ll go ahead and look up flights and compile a list for ya. And I know it’s obvious but, don’t tell Mac, yeah? This’ll be a real good surprise for him.”
“Of course. I’ll keep you posted with everything and give you a call as soon as I can.”
The call between Jack and Bozer only lasted about ten minutes.
Jack was excited. He hasn’t met Bozer in person yet. He was Mac’s oldest friend, his best friend. It felt like he still needed to attain his sea of approval. It didn’t matter how many calls or video chats there was. Bozer might have given Jack an okay, but it wasn’t the same as an okay. So yes, he was excited for Bozer to get there.
And he was excited for Mac. Mac, who worked himself quite literally to sickness, who always put others before himself, who never thought he was good enough for anything. Mac would be excited Bozer was there. Maybe a bit confused, and surprised, but the excitement would be there. He deserved to have nice things just because. There wasn’t a reason for it, there didn’t have to be.
He started making a plan. Obviously either he or his mother would need to pick him up from the airport, and more than likely it would be him. So he needed an excuse on why he would be gone for a few hours, and why Mac wasn’t able to go with. He didn’t want to lie because Mac deserved honesty, but it might’ve been the only way to get it so he would actually have no idea on what was really happening.
“Are you okay?”
Though it might be difficult to keep it a secret in the first place because of how keen Mac is.
“Course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re acting funny.”
“I’ll have you know I don’t act. This is pure, unadulterated Dalton funny. Ain’t no effort to be like this.”
“Funny as in weird.”
“Good thing those go had in hand then. I’m just a natural Jack— of all trades.” Something over the top and incredibly stupid should’ve gotten Mac off his tail.
“Okay, that was stupid even for you.”
Maybe not that stupid.
“Okay well, maybe I got some things on my mind that’s makin’ me act a little funny. And before ya ask, yea I can handle it myself and no I don’t wanna get into it.”
Mac stared at him for a moment. Jack had seen that stare before, just not on Mac. It was a state his mother gave when she was waiting for an answer; an expectation of some sort for why something was done. It was funny, honestly, and even more so if Mac was doing it subconsciously.
“You know I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
But ultimately, it was Mac, and it would always be Mac.
“I know bud, and I appreciate ya for it. This is just somethin’ I gotta do myself.”
“If you’re sure…”
“Don’t sweat it. Really. Just need a couple a days and everythin’ will be right as rain. Anywho, what’re yer plans for the day? Thought I might actually getcha to try and shoe River.”
“No thanks.”
“C’mon. She’s a big ol’ lover girl who’s use to bein’ everyone’s first shoein’ horse. She won’t do anythin’ to get ya.”
“I think I’m good. I’ll stick to my clutter in the barn.”
“You were defusin’ bombs in satan’s sandbox and yer still scared of a horse.”
“I know bombs; simple and easy to deal with and understand because there’s only two outcomes. Animals are different, especially ones that aren’t considered every day ones.”
“You just need to get to know her better, learn her language just like ya did with the bombs. I promise I won’t let anythin’ happen.”
“I’ll take a rain check.”
***
Mac was left alone at the house again. It was something he’d gotten used to over time; knowing and understanding that yes, the other people that lived in the house with him would return. It wasn’t anything like living with his father, wondering how many days it would be until he was seen again, or with Harry when he had to go into the city for his appointments, usually making Mac anxious about it possibly being the last time he saw him.
It was Jack, and Julia. Always gave him a heads up when they were leaving anywhere, even if just to the ranch to check over things, or into town and asking if he wanted to tag along or needed anything. There was always a time frame given, and if he wasn’t told directly, it was usually always written in the fridge, or texted to him.
“Just a couple a hours. Gotta talk to a man ‘bout a horse.”
“Isn’t that nearly like, every person you talk to?”
“Hey now, thought we agreed no more stereotypes.”
“You told me that every Texan in their right mind owned a horse. If it’s stereotypical then it’s your fault.”
“Yeah yeah, yer right— ‘bout both things. But, yeah, back before sundown I think, and mama should be back in like an hour. Enjoy the peace while ya can. I think she’s been plannin’ somethin’ and honestly I’m kinda nervous about it.”
Jack had already been gone an hour and a half, and though he was sure Jack would tell him once he got back, Mac couldn’t help but wrack his brain to try and figure out what it was that he was doing. There wasn’t anything wrong with any of the animals, he was maintaining the equipment, Julia was always in charge of the food situation—
Maybe it had nothing to do with the ranch or the house of anything. Maybe it was just Jack doing— whatever he did. Mac couldn’t exactly explain what Jack did to anyone because he himself didn’t really know. Yeah, there was his backstory on the army and his special ops, but it wasn’t like he would be doing that stuff again, not after everything he did to make sure Mac got set up at how own house.
He needed to stop thinking about it. Overthinking anything did nothin good for his head, only put him in a dark place he needed help getting out of.
He took the opportunity to clean up a bit. There was no real mess anywhere, just more so things scattered that could be put in their proper place. Various papers were piled and stacked, books returned to their shelves, shoes and boots at the door, snack dishes in the sink for him to do later.
Jack’s laptop was sitting open. It was a little surprising when he found out Jack had one. When they were deployed, he would complain about technology and how it was moving forward too fast for him to keep up with it.
“Brother I am tellin’ you right now, with how fast everythin’s movin’ and improvin’, there’s gonna be terminators walkin’ around in like the next five years. I swear on it.”
Given the laptop was still a few years old, it was in relatively good condition.
“Yeah, this one’s mine. Mama’s got the newest I think; keepin’ track of all the ranch stuff on all the spreadsheets or whatever. I got copies of everythin’ and can act as a backup if anythin’ happens.”
Mac went to shut it and put it in Jack’s room. His hand touched the trackpad and it immediately woke up. He wasn’t trying to snoop, merely just wanted to close it and put it away, but the screen that was shown grabbed his attention immediately.
A webpage comparing flight information of various airlines from Texas to California.
Only one thought popped into his head. He didn’t think there was any overthinking he could do for that.
They were done with him. Sick of all the things he needed, how he made them adjust and change their own schedules to work around him, of the constant mess there was in the barn. They were over all of it. It was fun for a little while, but Mac knew too well that all good things had to come to an end.
And Jack lying to his face. All those times of assurance, of promising that was his home— he shouldn’t have been surprised. Everyone lied. It wasn’t like Jack was some saint that only uttered the truth. Mac should’ve known better. And it wasn’t really the fact that it was happening, but that Jack chose to do it behind his back. Jack was never a guy to beat around the bush. It was always straight to the point with whatever it was. No wonder he was being so secretive when Mac asked what he had planned; trying to cover up the plan to get rid of him.
There was a part of Mac saying he was being ridiculous, that Jack would never do something like that to him. Jack was the reason he was safe and out of the army in the first place. What was the benefit of doing everything he did for him?
Mac was overthinking.
But… what would be another reason Jack was looking up that information?
There had to be something else. Something Mac was overlooking that would explain it, but the only thing playing in his head was Jack getting rid of him. All he needed to do was wait. Jack would return and clear everything up. He could hope for the best, but might as well prepare for the worst.
***
“Mac’s gonna be so excited when he see you. I’m happy we were able to finally get our schedules together.”
Jack and Bozer were almost to the ranch. The first thing Jack did upon seeing Bozer come out of the arriving terminal was wrap him in a big hug. He had been anticipating the whole thing ever since they finalized it was actually happening. Speaking on the phone and video calls were so different than actually meeting in person.
“I know! I’ve been thinking about it pretty much since he said he wasn’t coming home after the army. I was literally finishing up school and we were understaffed at work and just— everything else that was happening. I’m so happy to finally be out here. And to be finally able to cook for more than just myself again.”
“Mama’s excited ‘bout that. She told me she was gonna buy every ingredient she could think of for you to make whatever you wanted. Think she also just needed to get outta the house ‘cuz she was so gritty and Mac definitely woulda taken noticed and said somethin’.”
They drove and chatted about what they were going to do in the coming weeks, what could be skipped and what was a once in a lifetime moment. Jack entertained every moment Bozer saw any type of animal out the window. They enjoyed the small bouts of silence when there was nothing to be said, and belted their hearts out when a song they both new came on.
Jack knew perfectly what kind of a person Bozer was, and couldn’t think of what would happen if Mac didn’t have him by his side.
When they finally arrived at the house, it was decided that Bozer would duck down in the back and Jack would head inside and ask Mac for help bringing something in. Jack parked in his regular spot, thankful for Mac not peeking out of the windows like he dis sometimes, and Bozer climbed over the center console into the back.
“Okay like, two minutes or somethin’. Maybe five if he’s doin’ somethin’.”
“You got it. I’ll get comfy.”
Jack exited the car and went straight for the house, calling for Mac as he opened the door.
“Mac! Ya here?” There was a chance he actually wasn’t in the house, maybe at the lake or helping out the ranch hands, but he normally always through Jack a text if he ever left anywhere. “Mac?”
And the house looks clean. It was one of the things Mac did to take his mind off whatever he was thinking without having to go anywhere.
He headed upstairs where he heard shuffling and plastic rustling. Perhaps he had headphones and just couldn’t hear his calling.
“Mac?” A quick knock on the cracked door before pushing it open. Mac was in there, but it looked like he was— packing. “Hey, what’s goin’ on?”
Mac stopped but didn’t turn to face him. “I’m going back to California.”
“Well hold on now.” It was surprising, definitely. Nothing about Mac’s demeanor said anything about him being unhappy there and wanting to return to California. Maybe a few bouts of homesickness, but that was why Jack planned the visit. “You wanna go back permanently or just a visit?”
“I know when I’ve outstayed my welcome. You can keep all of the things I can’t fit in suitcases, as a thank you and apology for letting me stay as long as I have.”
“Slow down a second, Hoss. What’re you talkin’ about? You can never outstay a welcome here. What makes you think that?”
Did they say something and it was taken out of context? Was there frustration from a problem and Mac assumed it was about him? Any of their actions suggest they wanted him anywhere but there?
Mac finally looked at him. “Why else would you be looking up flights from Texas to California?”
Oh.
“I was cleaning up while you guys were gone and I wasn’t trying to snoop, but when I moved your laptop the screen lit up…”
“Ah, Mac.” Jack wanted to laugh. The whole thing was just one big misunderstanding. “I swear to you, it ain’t what you think. On my daddy’s grave.”
“What is it then?”
“Put yer things back. Gimme one sec to go get somethin’ from the truck that’ll explain everythin’, alright?”
Jack didn’t wait for an answer and rushed back down the stairs and outside, opening up the truck door so Bozer could come out.
“Did we do it? He’s too smart to fall for this huh? I swear it’s scary when he just knows stuff sometimes.”
“Quick change of plans brother. I need you to just go inside and head up the stairs. Be loud or quiet, or whatever ya want, but I think Mac needs ya more than ever right now.”
Concern found it’s way on Bozer’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Misunderstandin’, and yer the thing that can straighten it all out.”
Bozer hopped out of the car and headed into the house, Jack following close behind. He pointed up the stairs and to the room and stopped himself from going in, instead listening o the exchange that happened.
“You always did take a long time to unpack things. Remember when we took that one trip and came back and it took you like three months to empty your suitcase?”
“Bozer…? What’re you doing here?”
Jack moved to the doorframe just in time for both of them to envelope each other in a hug.
“I was thinking how much I missed you and figured now was a good a time as any to make my way over here. Did you have any idea? You don’t know how hard it was not to let anything slip on our last call.”
Mac looked at Jack, to which Jack gave a small nod. “No, I had no idea.”
***
“I swear he used to be the pickiest eater. Before I came along, he ate the blandest foods of all time and thought it was normal. First time I made him, what was it— an omelette I think, it was like he solved string theory. Man didn’t realize you could put so much in it to make it amazing.”
Everyone was laughing around the table as Bozer told the story. They were eating dinner, complements of both him and Julia, who was ecstatic when she returned form shopping to see Bozer had arrived, and nearly dragged him from Mac so they could start cooking.
“Mama, we ain’t even got the sleepin’ situated, and his things are still in the truck.”
“Well whatever for? Go get them. Not bein’ the best host right now are ya?”
The smile on Mac’s face hasn’t shown any sign of disappearing.
“Harry wasn’t much of a cook and most of the time when he was gone I just had microwave meals. I didn’t have a very refined palette. And every time I attempted to make an omelette with things added, I always did it wrong and it ended up scrambled and burnt.”
“Thirteen years later and you can just almost make a perfect one.”
“I think you’d be surprised, honey.” Julia said. “There’s been alotta days where he’s been helpin’ me in the kitchen, even spear linin’ some of them.”
“And they ain’t even that burnt.” Jack added, making everyone laugh.
Bozer started to collect his dishes, only to be stopped.
“Oh no sweetheart. You made all this after a long flight, and you’re a guest. I won’t be having you do these dishes.”
“Yeah Boze. I got them.” Mac stood from his seat and collected the dishes, taking them to the sink.
“Mama, we still don’t really have a sleepin’ arrangement. Why not go upstairs and see what you can do?”
“All this time and we don’t have a bed for you? We’re terrible hosts.” Julia stood, gesturing for Bozer to follow. “Come on honey, let’s go get you somewhere comfy. If we can’t find anywhere, you can take Jack’s bed and he can sleep on the couch.”
The two of them headed upstairs before Jack could respond. He merely rolled his eyes then joined Mac at the sink.
“Ya know, if you snooped a little more, you woulda seen the other page lookin’ up flights from Cali to here.” His tone was humorous, trying to let Mac know how he felt about the misunderstanding.
Mac stopped washing the dishes. “Can you not? I already feel bad enough about what happened. I mean, after all your reassurance with saying you want me here… I still thought you wanted me gone but didn’t want to tell me to my face.”
“Buddy, I swear, I will never talk behind yer back ‘bout nothin’. If there’s ever a problem with anythin’, it’s always front and center to get it taken care of.”
“I know… it’s always been like that. Logically I should understand, there’s just times where all logic just goes out the window.”
“And that’s alright. Feelins’ are a messy thing sometimes. We can’t help how we feel even if we know the answers for stuff.”
“I just wish I could— stop. You know me, my whole life is based around science and facts and logic. I can’t have my emotions running haywire for something I know isn’t true. It’s just, it’s tiring.”
“I know, but that’s what makes ya human. Can’t just be walkin’ around like a robot. Pretty sure a couple a guys in the sandbox were convinced you were some highly advanced android with everythin’ you could do.” Jack snorted. “Bein’ in touch with yer emotions is tough, ‘specially when they don’t wanna follow yer instructions and are goin’ crazy. I think it’s better they do that than stay bottled up though, nothin’ good ever comes from that.”
Mac smiled slightly. “Don’t I know it. In all fairness, I’ve probably been emotionally stunted since my mom died. Dad— I don’t think he cried at her funeral. I have a visceral memory of crying the day after and him telling me boys don’t cry and I needed to get used to it. Bozer and his parents did their best to tell me that’s not true and it’s okay if I needed to because it was normal, but I guess lessons like that never really took hold.”
“Well, I’ll keep repeatin’ myself as many times as it takes for it to stick in her head. Emotions are a messy thing, and I don’t mind havin’ to clean them up every now and then.”
Jack was always so understanding. If Mac had a problem, it didn’t matter if it was voiced or not. Jack just— knew, and always offered a hand if Mac needed it. It didn’t matter if it was big or small, or how many times he had to repeat himself.
“Whaddya say we head upstairs to see if we can help with the sleepin’ arrangements? I wouldn’t put it past mama to try and make bunkbeds in yer room; probably use my bed to do it.”
“I’d help her. Bozer had bunkbeds when we were younger. We always took turns getting the top bunk.”