Work Text:
Day 10: Watching Someone Sleep
Cas watched Dean walk in the room and practically collapse onto the couch. The hunter had tears in his shirt and there was some kind of dark substance smeared across his cheek and one thigh. Ichor was his first guess. The brothers had been gone on a hunt for the last 8 days. He was glad they were back though.
“Are you alright, Dean?” He asked. Dean’s eyes had fluttered shut and they didn’t open at the question.
“Didn’t sleep. Came straight back.”
Cas closed the book he’d been reading, something by Dostoyevsky that Sam had recommended, and moved closer.
“Why don’t you go take a shower and lay down? I can order some food for you and Sam for later.”
He receive a faint grunt in return that told him Dean was already drifting off. A few seconds later the hunter was snoring, something he usually did only when he was thoroughly exhausted. Cas knelt down on the floor to remove his boots and then brought his legs up onto the couch. After tucking a pillow under Dean’s head and taking the blanket off the back of the couch to tuck around him, he stood back to look at him. He looked so peaceful, despite the smudge of black on his cheek and the dark circles under his eyes. Picking his book up again he went to his room to read some more. Dean would awake in a few hours, hungry and feeling gross, and so would Sam, but in the meantime he wanted them to get as much rest as possible.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dean woke a few hours later, the ache in his joints pulling him out of a rather unpleasant dream about his time as a vampire. The hunger had been awful, a gnawing ache in his gut that he’d been desperate to feed. It had been that gnawing pain that had pulled him out of sleep, and he soon realized why. His stomach wasn’t just growling, it was wailing and screaming for food. Groaning in pain, he slid his legs down to the floor and pushed the blanket back. Somewhere he could smell something really good. He got to his feet, stretching, realizing that his boots were missing and that Cas must have tucked him in. That thought brought a smile to his lips. Stifling a yawn, he headed to the kitchen.
Cas and Sam were sitting at the table talking about the case they’d just come back from while Sam devoured a huge chicken salad. When Cas noticed him he smiled and got to his feet.
“Are you hungry? I ordered 2 burgers and fries for you. Sam said you forwent dinner in order to get back here, so you must be very hungry.” He was walking over to the microwave and pulling out a bag of food. “It just arrived a half hour ago but if you’d like me to heat it up, I will.”
Dean smiled as he accepted the bag from Cas and headed for the table. His body was stiff and aching as he sat down.
“Thanks, Cas.”
“You’re welcome, Dean.” Cas was placing a bottle of water on the table along with a bottle of ibuprofen. “For your pain.”
He sat down again, his expression showing the concern he felt at seeing Dean hurting like he was.
“I’m ok, Cas. It’s not that bad. I’ll eat and then take some.”
Dean looked over at Sam and noted that his hair was wet, his skin scrubbed pink. A shower sounded really good. He opened his bag of food and pulled one of the burgers out.
“So, how’s the arm?” He nodded towards the broken arm Cas had been nursing carefully for the last 5 weeks, ever since he’d gone with them to get rid of a vengeful spirit on a pig farm in Oklahoma, and said spirit had thrown him out of the barn loft. He’d landed in a pile of what looked in the dark to be debris that contained some metal piping, and Cas had hit one of the pipes wrong, breaking his left arm. The rest of him had been cushioned by what later proved to be a decaying pile of dead animal carcasses. Cas had needed a shower and a thorough scrub down before Dean could even take him to the hospital, he had smelled so bad. Becoming human had been more troublesome than anything for Cas, or at least that was how Dean saw it. He hated seeing Cas in any kind of pain.
“It hasn’t bothered me much, aside from itching. That can be quite a nuisance.” Cas replied.
“Did you eat?” Dean was starving but he wasn’t going to eat both burgers if Cas hadn’t eaten yet. The former angel smiled softly.
“I have, thank you for asking. I ate while you were both sleeping, and I ordered some breadsticks along with this food. They are filled with cheese and spinach, if you’d like to try one.”
“They’re really good, I’ve had them before.” Sam chimed in.
“Sounds good, maybe later though.” Dean unwrapped the burger, his stomach once again howling as the scent of burger and bacon and cheese came wafting out. He dug right in, clearing a quarter of the burger off in one bite. Cas turned his attention to Sam since Dean’s mouth was currently full.
“You were saying that you were successful on this hunt? No chance of anything coming back after you or Dean?”
Sam was scraping his plastic fork around the bottom of the plastic bowl, chasing down the last few julienne carrots but he looked up long enough to shake his head.
“No, we got them all. Trust me, nothing walked away alive, save for me and Dean.”
Dean snorted in agreement and nodded.
“Good. Were you injured?” Cas had his serious face on, eyes squinting as he studied Sam’s face. There was a bruise on his right cheek and a scrape on his chin but otherwise he looked alright.
“I’m ok, just a little banged up. I took ibuprofen earlier.” Sam said.
“What did you do while we were gone?” Dean had cleared off the burger and was now devouring the fries.
“Read, mostly. I busied myself with categorizing and subcategorizing the different creatures, almost the same way as in that Pokémon game you downloaded to my phone. I researched that first and saw that some creatures fell into multiple categories, like grass and poison. So it got me thinking about the various creatures we encounter. It took me about 3 days to get them all in order, but there is room for more, should we discover anything new.” Cas replied. Dean and Sam were both staring at him, jaws slack with both amazement and disbelief. Sam tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear and inclined his head towards his friend.
“So let me get this right. You…made a Pokémon list…out of real monsters?” He asked.
Cas cocked his head thoughtfully. “In a way, I suppose I did.”
“Uh huh. And where is this list of yours?” Dean asked.
“It’s in my room. It was difficult sleeping last night. I kept dreaming about them.” Cas admitted. Dean was opening his second burger and paused to look at his friend. There were circles under Cas’ eyes, and they were slightly sunken in. When was the last time he had slept? His hunger was actually gone now, replaced by concern, so he closed the burger up and stuck it back in the bag.
“Cas, do you sleep when we’re not here?” He asked. Cas ducked his head, looking down at the cast on his arm. There was a myriad of protective symbols that had been drawn on it but his eyes locked on the one in black that Dean had added the day the cast had been put on. The replica of the one on his and Sam’s chests. It made him feel safer having it there. One day he wanted to have it inked into his flesh as well.
“Not…well.” He confessed. Dean shared a look of concern with his brother who nodded towards Cas. Dean knew his brother was telling him to go and take care of the former angel. He downed a couple of the ibuprofen with the water and stood up.
“Come on, Cas, I’m going to have you set up the laptop and pick out a movie while I take a much needed shower. When it’s over we’ll watch whatever you picked out, ok?”
Cas nodded and got to his feet.
“Would you prefer something with action or one of your romance movies?”
Sam snorted and Dean shot him a bitch face stronger than any his little brother had ever given. Sam just chuckled louder.
“You can choose, Cas. Maybe that new documentary you were talking about on Netflix, the one about the lions. Or you know, whatever you want.” Dean patted the man on the shoulder, his hand lingering a touch longer than necessary. Cas smiled and nodded.
“Alright. There are quite a few new movies and shows on there. I’ll look through them all.”
Dean left for the bathroom, the anticipation of a hot shower almost putting a little pep in his step. He stripped down and got under the hot water, groaning with how good it felt. After washing his hair he washed his body down, scrubbing harder at places covered in ichor and blood. It was his own blood, and he wanted all traces of that gone before Cas saw it. He would fret needlessly over any injuries he could see, so they had to be cleaned well and covered up. This time it was a gash on his ribs that had bled pretty good when he’d been sliced the day before. He’d cleaned it up once, but then they’d gotten word there were more of the bastards hiding, so they’d gone after them too. Of course that made the gash break open and start bleeding again.
After rinsing the dried blood all away, he washed his hair a second time. He hoped he’d given Cas enough time to select a movie. The walk back to his room left him with goosebumps that faded once he was dressed in a tee shirt and sweatpants. Drying his hair left it standing on end but he didn’t care. He was home and not trying to impress anyone. Sam and Cas had both seen him look much worse. Cas was waiting though, so after stopping back in the kitchen to make them some popcorn, he made his way to Cas’ room.
“Feel better?” Cas asked when he walked in, bowl in hand.
“Hell yeah.” Dean held the popcorn bowl up as if in offering. “Figured we’d have a snack with the movie.”
Cas smiled and patted the seat next to him on the bed.
“I was thinking about making us some popcorn too. I’m glad you brought it.”
Dean fluffed up the pillows Cas had left for him and settled back as a movie started playing on the TV.
“So what are we watching?”
“I found a suspenseful movie called Tigerhouse. It sounded interesting so I thought we could try it. If it’s awful we can always find something else.” Cas stuck his hand in the bowl when Dean set it between them.
“Yeah, ok.” Dean dug into the bowl and helped himself to some of the popcorn as the movie began to play. It was an English flick and reminded him a bit of The Panic Room but it was still enjoyable. Cas was riveted, muttering under his breath each time the protagonist, a teenage girl, was nearly discovered. When the end came, he sat up in surprise.
“No! Dean! He was in on it!”
Dean chuckled. Cas’ reactions to things was downright adorable sometimes. He wasn’t going to say that out loud though.
“Want to watch another one? It’s still kind of early.”
“Yes, but something funny or maybe even a romantic comedy.” Cas grabbed the remote and flicked through the movie selections while Dean decided drinks were in order. He went to get them a couple of beers and when he returned he found that Cas had decided on a movie called Valentine’s Day.
“What’s this?”
“A romantic comedy. I rented it on Amazon. Netflix didn’t have it but the description sounded good.” Cas accepted one of the beers and leaned back against his pillows. He yawned before taking a sip from it.
As the movie progressed Cas’ eyelids began to seriously droop. Every time they would start to close he’d blink and they would snap back open. Eventually Dean reached over to pluck the half empty bottle from his friend’s hand which made those blue eyes pop back open.
“That’s mine.” Cas reached for the bottle again but Dean set it down on the table on his side of the bed, along with his own empty bottle.
“You’re falling asleep. Just lay down.”
Cas looked grumpily up at him. “I don’t want to sleep.”
“Yes you do. I can see the dark circles under your eyes. You need to sleep.” Dean tugged the blankets until he’d worked them out from under Cas and then pulled them up to the man’s chest. Cas was still grumbling.
“You need the sleep, Dean, I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t. I got a few hours earlier and they helped a lot. I worry about you when you don’t get the rest you need. You’re human now. It’s not safe to go days without resting. It’s bad for your immune system and can cause heart attacks, man. You need to sleep.” Dean pulled the covers that Cas had pushed down back up to his chest and picked up the remote.
“You don’t understand, Dean. I can’t sleep. I try, but the dreams, they’re more nightmares than anything, and I-I…” Cas clutched at the blankets, his knuckles turning white as he tried to find the right words to convey how worried he was when he wasn’t out on a hunt with them, and just how bad the nightmares had gotten lately. Dreams where Dean was killed, or sometimes even Sam. He just couldn’t rest when they plagued him like they did. Dean was looking at him in concern and he realized it was the same look he used to give Dean when he’d tried to feed him the same kind of lines in the past. His shoulders slumped and he slid further down in the bed until his head was on the pillows.
“I’m not sure I can sleep.” He’d barely gotten more than 2 or 3 fitful hours of sleep each night and it was really starting to affect him. Dean turned the TV off. If the movie was indeed rented, Cas would still have it in the morning to watch. He hit the switch on the lamp and settled back against his own pillows.
“You’ll sleep, and you know why?”
Cas blinked slowly, sleep trying desperately to pull him under, despite his resistance.
“No, why?”
“Because this time, I’m going to stay and watch over you. You’ll get the rest you need, and I’ll make sure you’re safe. If I think you’re having a nightmare, I promise to wake you. Now close your eyes.” Dean was tired too but Cas needed sleep, and he’d make damn sure the man got it.
“You’ll stay?” Cas seemed amazed that Dean would even make that offer.
“Of course. Now shut your eyes, and your mouth. Go to sleep.” Dean’s tone was gruff which was on contrast with the warmth Cas could see in his eyes, even in the dim light from the nightlight he’d recently begun using to try and chase away the monsters that tried to follow him into his waking hours. He smiled softly.
“Thank you, Dean.”
Dean’s expression softened and he smiled.
“I’ll be here.” He promised. Cas was still looking at him as his eyelids finally grew too heavy to hold up any longer. Within minutes his breathing evened out and he drifted off. Dean turned on his side and took the opportunity to watch Cas in a way he’d never been able to previously. Dark lashes fluttered lightly as the first dreams arrived. His lips rested slightly open and Dean admired the soft curve of them. Cas was attractive. You’d have to be an idiot not to see that, but for Dean, his beauty was much more than just the physical that others first took notice of. Cas was sweet and kind, and loyal to a fault. Even Sam had admitted that Cas was a good looking guy, though he’d said it when they’d been at a bar and their server had been flirting mercilessly with the former angel, in response to Cas’ bafflement as to why she kept batting her eyelashes and smiling at him. Dean had simply clutched his bottle of beer a little too tightly and pretended he didn’t really want to stab the pretty blonde. A year earlier he’d have tried to get her into bed but now?
Cas took a deeper breath and exhaled in a huff. His brow furrowed and his lips turned down in a slight frown. Whatever he was dreaming about, it wasn’t pleasant.
“Dean…don’t…” He sighed before his breath hitched. His hands clenched on top of the bed sheets. Dean scooted closer and gently rubbed Cas’ arm.
“Shh, it’s ok, buddy, it’s not real. Everything is alright.” He leaned closer, speaking softly in Cas’ ear, trying to gently chase the dream away without having to actually wake him. Cas whimpered, his head shaking back and forth, and Dean moved closer, wrapping an arm up and over the top of Cas’ pillow to stroke his fingers through the man’s hair.
“Shh…shh…” He continued to whisper gently. With his free hand he rubbed the back of one of Cas’ still clenched fists. Slowly the thrashing stopped and Cas’ body began to relax once more. Before Dean could move back to his side of the bed, Cas rolled over and draped himself half over Dean’s body. His arm landed on the gash and Dean had to fight not to hiss with the pain that caused. Rather than dislodge a now peaceful Cas, he simply rolled onto his back. Cas scooted closer, burying his nose against Dean’s throat and sighing softly. He was so deeply asleep that the arm and leg he had thrown over the hunter were like lead weights, but if he was sleeping nightmare free, Dean didn’t care. It wasn’t like he minded having Cas this close. As he pondered the closeness of their bodies and the way Cas smelled like coconut and papaya, he ended up drifting off, content and warm, and for the first time in a while, truly happy.
The next morning Dean woke to a warm body completely on top of him, not just casually draped partially over him like the night before. Cas’ head was on his chest, his dark hair tickling Dean’s chin. It made the hunter smile. He didn’t dare move though. This was probably the most sleep Cas had gotten since before they had left on their hunt. Music drifted into the room faintly from somewhere else in the bunker which meant Sam was up and most likely working out. Dean circled his arm around Cas’ back and pulled him closer before he realized what he was doing. Above him the other man began to stir. Rather than stretch and roll off of Dean he scrunched his body up, pressing in tighter.
“Well good morning to you too, you octopus.” Dean teased. Cas hummed and buried his face tighter against Dean’s chest.
“You smell good.” His voice was thick with sleep and he sighed contentedly.
“Well, thanks. You don’t smell bad yourself.” Dean chuckled. His fingers found their way into Cas’ hair without his even realizing it had happened. “How did you sleep?”
“That was the best I think I have slept since becoming human. I feel quite refreshed. I don’t recall having any nightmares.” Cas replied.
“You did, not long after you fell asleep and I got you to relax without having to wake you, but then you decided I made a good pillow and threw yourself on top of me.” Dean laughed. Cas shifted finally and rolled off of him.
“I’m sorry, Dean. Sometimes I get cold at night. You’re very warm.”
“It’s ok, Cas. You ready now to get up and start the day or did you want to finish that movie?” Dean sat up a little. He’d have to pee soon, but not quite yet.
“Mmm, we can finish the movie, but first I have to pee. That is my least favorite part about being human.” Cas grumbled as he slid out of the bed. “Go ahead and put it on, I’ll be right back.”
Cas left and Dean turned the movie back on. He backed it up to where he’d first noticed Cas getting sleepy the night before. When he returned and got settled on the bed again, Dean hit play. After his own bathroom break he returned and by the end of the movie Cas’ head was on his shoulder and he was snoring softly. Dean Winchester was not a cuddler, and anyone that tried to say he was would get a punch in the nose. But for Cas, maybe he would be. Yes, if it kept the nightmares at bay and let the man get the sleep he needed, Dean would move heaven and earth to make it happen. Besides, he didn’t really mind being a human pillow after all.