Work Text:
Iphigenia in Aulis, line 1250: It is light that is sweetest for humans to see. And the world below is nothing. Whoever prays for death is mad. Living badly is better than dying well.
***
It was on a late Saturday afternoon in 2081 when the letter came in the mail. 86-year-old Eva Stratt was hunched over her dining table, sorting through documents, when her assistant Hugo came in to drop a single envelope in front of her. She looked up questioningly. Not terribly many people send her correspondence these days, not if they can help it. She supposed that her infamy helped ward off most of them, and she gladly accepted that outcome, really.
“From the UN,” Hugo cleared up.
Curious, Eva reached for the envelope. The familiar crest of earth wrapped in stalks of wheat on the corner stared back at her. Most surviving institutions did not change their emblems, partly from trying to roleplay normalcy, partly from sentimental nostalgia, she guesses.
Though her relationship with plenty of authorities around the world quickly soured post Hail Mary launch, these days they leave her well enough alone. That being said, her years as a fugitive certainly leave an impact, and she is wary of most government contact with her, especially when it is conducted in such a formal manner. It does not help that her last formal summoning was for her trial by the International Criminal Court.
“What do they want anyway?” Hugo piped up. Her latest assistant seemed to be very chatty by nature, which would have bothered past Eva. Current Eva, though, is content enough that someone is being lively for both of them.
“Curious about that too,” she said, reaching for her letter opener.
Inside the beige envelope lies a letter inviting her to the UNU-MERIT at her earliest convenience. Feeling slightly alarmed, Eva read on.
Regarding the meteorite that fell in the Indian Ocean, we have found that it is not space debris but instead a carrier of a message from extraterrestrial life in 40 Eridani A.
She knew this, of course. Somewhere around last autumn, her connection informed her of a foreign object found in bodies of water near Oman. That foreign object, as it turns out, was an attempt at communication by the foreign life that was since dubbed “the Eridians”, courtesy of Dr. Ryland Grace's nomenclature. Though her interest was piqued, she wasn’t terribly invested in figuring out more about the subject.
She was on the run when the beetles made it back to Earth. Though looking a little worse for wear, by some miracle, all four beetles successfully entered the Earth and protected whatever was stored inside. As all of humanity would know by now, the beetles contained the Taumoebas, saviour of both Sun and Earth.
After that, things moved quickly. While it was obvious that the majority of governing bodies were still highly antagonistic toward the notorious Eva Stratt, they also could not refute her efficiency in organizing mass-scale efforts when it came to saving Earth. Simply put, they need her ruthless competency, but they also need to save face. They can’t just rehire her at the United Nations, so instead, all communications with her were done under the table. She was integrated into the successor to the Petrova Taskforce, Project Sol, as an anonymous consultant.
Once the sun returned to full luminosity and civilization started rebuilding, humanity finally had the privilege of affording grace. Thus, a pardon came for her. Her faux freedom became fully fledged, though Eva felt that nothing really changed in how the world views her. She’s still the heinous villain that sent Dr. Ryland Grace to space, knowing he was unwilling. Knowing he was begging for his life. The ICC sure was glad to be able to use that fact on the trial back then.
Perhaps it was high time karma came for her, because once Project Sol fulfilled its purpose, the project joins everything in human civilization that has expired its use. It became history. The United Nations contacted Eva, inviting her as a consultant to Project Hail Mary, a committee tasked with compiling and organizing the details surrounding Earth’s struggle against Astrophage. So the future generations can remember humanity’s resiliency, they say. And, as someone who was very present throughout the whole event, from the discovery of Astrophage to the success of Project Sol, she’s an important key witness to the project.
For Eva, this is reliving nightmares over and over. With each file, each documentation added, it feels like someone is holding a mirror to her face. If the mirror is also listing every single sin she ever committed. She has long given up on hoping she’d ever see the pearly gates, but there’s a difference between knowing you’ve engaged in (albeit necessary) cruelties and having it permanently etched into memorials around the world. And she’s also the one who has to do the etching.
Still, she went back to what’s left of the Netherlands, settled down near Voorburg, and joined Project Hail Mary. As it turns out, collating the entire timeline of saving Earth from Astrophage is very hard to do, especially if you want the result to be at least somewhat coherent. In the early days of the Petrova Taskforce, research institutions around the world were scrambling for a solution. Any paperwork was done with minimal oversight, and this resulted in horrible recordkeeping. Eva has had to reach into the nooks and crannies of her memories to assemble a narrative that is consistent as well as factually backed. She was barely wrapping up the evidence from the 2040s when Eridian’s message arrived on Earth.
That was the main reason she didn’t pay too much attention to the progress being made in deciphering said message. She was back to her roots, what with her role effectively being a historian. Anything that has to do with the future wasn’t really something she wanted to be involved in. Until now, that is.
We believe that, as one of the key contributors in the Petrova Taskforce, you are entitled to have access to the message of the extraterrestrial life, which will henceforth be referred to as “the Eridians”. We also believe that this information could be vital supplemental materials to be added to the current Project Hail Mary records.
A few more paragraphs follow, but they are a bunch of governmental politeness, nothing burger. It all boiled down to: Hey, we think this would be great material for your geriatric scrapbook club. Feel free to drop by anytime. Preferably, if you notified us first, though.
A line in the letter intrigued her the most: We further noted that one of the Eridians included a message specifically addressing you.
“Please send a reply and tell them we’ll be visiting them next Monday,” Eva passed the letter to Hugo. Her assistant made an excited grabby hand at the letter, positively interested in the contents.
“Took them long enough to decipher it!” exclaimed Hugo. He sat down across Eva, pressing the spacebar on his laptop to turn the monitor on.
“Well, it could have taken longer, given how different the language is from ours,” Eva turned her attention back to her files, “Just be glad Dr. Grace sent us a whole Eridian dictionary alongside the Taumoeba.”
It’s true. Grace had sent the Taumoeba alongside the hefty SSDs containing recordings. Most of it documents his research leading to the discovery of Taumoeba, and then how to breed the Taumoeba itself. Sparse in between research was also his interaction with an agent of the Eridians, which Grace named Rocky. The recording covering the two’s interactions was partly nonsensical bickering, but a good chunk of it covered the efforts to bridge the language gap between the two. As a result, humanity now has quite a well-compiled Eridian-English dictionary.
Even so, it took some time for linguists around the world to translate the Eridians’ message. From what she heard, the Eridians’ discussion transpired through the form of a collective conversation between each other, happening at the same time. Some parts of the message contain this type of discussion, and the linguists ended up spending considerable time separating the voices so they could translate it into coherent sentences.
The sound of the printer turning on snapped Eva from her contemplation.
“Okay, I’m sending a reply through both mail and e-mail. As soon as we get a green light, I’m booking tickets from Den Haag Centraal Station.” Hugo waved the printed paper in his hand.
“Thank you, Hugo,” Eva sorted the scattered papers in front of her into their plastic maps, “I think I’m done for today.”
“Sure, I’ll get out of your hair then,” Hugo snatched an envelope and put the folded printed response inside, “I feel like you’re clocking off work earlier and earlier these days. But, anyway, have a good evening, Madam Grandma Stratt.”
Maybe the young Eva Stratt still lives on inside after all, because this time Eva rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed tut.
***
They did not end up visiting the UNU-MERIT on Monday. In a truly typical governmental tardiness, the UN replied on Wednesday, stating that they are welcome to visit next Friday. Eva woke up bright and early that day. The train won’t arrive until 9, but at her age, she does nothing quickly. At 7.30, Hugo showed up on her front door with an excitement level that did not match how early it was.
“Our first business trip!” he exclaimed, “Can’t wait to see the place. It’s a research center, so I bet it’s super high tech, right?”
Eva stared back blankly, “I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed, son.”
Hugo took her bag, and Eva reached for her cane.
“Mm, no,” Hugo huffed, “Let me keep my dream for the next few hours, please.”
They locked the apartment’s door behind them.
***
The UNU-MERIT building was definitely not equipped with the latest tech contraptions, but it was pretty impressive. A tall, glass-clad building stood before a pond, and the clear pane revealed intricate murals on the walls inside. Bet the building looks beautiful at night with all the lamps lighting the place.
Eva headed straight to the reception desk. The receptionist led them to one of the meeting rooms. Next thing they know, in walked a man who seemed to be in his forties with a stack of hard disks and a laptop.
“Eva Stratt?” he offered his hand, “I’m Daniel Visser, from the Department of Literature & Art. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Eva took his hand, “I’ve heard you have something to show me?”
“Yes, the messages from the Eridians,” Daniel put the hard disks on the table, then turned the laptop on.
“There’s over 100 hours of footage in here, but this one,” he lifted the hard disk marked with a yellow sticky tab, “contains the message specifically for you, so I recommend getting through this one first.”
Eva got quiet for a split second. She was most curious about that when the letter first came in the mail. Now that she’s one click away from viewing the recording, she suddenly feels hesitant. She definitely would not find anything remotely kind stated in that recording. Then she said, “I’d like to go from chronological order. Which one is the first?”
Daniel considered, “Hmm, they weren’t numbered or anything, so we can’t know for sure which one goes after which, but this one contains an opening message from Dr. Grace.” He slid a hard disk forward.
She nodded, “I’ll start with this one, then.”
“Sure,” Daniel gestured for Hugo, “Mr. Brouwer, here’s the USB cable. If you guys are done for the day, please call for me, and I’ll come to collect the hard disks and laptop. In the meantime, I’ll get your accommodation arranged.”
Hugo exchanged contact information with Mr. Visser, then the man politely excused himself from the room.
Her assistant rubbed his hands gleefully, “Ready to experience official communication with intelligent extraterrestrial life?”
Not yet able to decide on which emotion to feel first, Eva weakly gestured to play the footage. She offered the hard disk Hugo gave her earlier.
Hugo connected the laptop to the projector, then took the hard disk from Eva’s hand. He played the first file. The screen was dark for a good three seconds, and Hugo reached to turn off the room’s lights. No, the view was not getting any clearer.
“Rocky, I can’t see without light, man.”
Eva’s heart clenched painfully at the familiar voice.
Chirpy notes began to play, and a translation machine off-camera produced a sentence.
Right, human orbs cannot see in dark.
At the same time, translated subtitles came on the bottom of the screen: Right, human eyes cannot see in the dark.
Slowly, the screen filled with soft golden hour lighting. Rays of soft illumination bounce on strands of pale blonde hair.
Eva can’t help but let out a small choked sob. They called him her right-hand man. For a few months after the Hail Mary was launched, everyone treated her like a porcelain doll, ready to crack at any moment. It was and wasn’t true at the same time. She knew she was taking the best option given the situation, so she wasn’t really doubting her choice. But he was her dependable partner, having been there practically since day one. Had it not been for the trials and prison time, she would’ve had nothing to distract her from that limbo between guilt and unwavering conviction.
“Hello, Earth! Bet you thought you’ve seen the last of me!” on the screen, Grace waved at the camera. The camera was positioned to capture Grace, and behind him there’s a transparent wall. Behind that wall stood a figure Eva had seen many, many years before. Half the size of Grace, rough brown carapace, craggy limbs. It’s Rocky.
Welcome to Rocky and Grace’s meeting room, Rocky chirped.
“Freshly built for Project Tau Ceti!” Grace’s head bobbed in approval.
Grace reached for the camera, and the view wobbled lightly. He showed the room, “On my side, we’ve got some tables and chairs. Surprisingly ergonomic,” he slid across the room in a wheeled chair, “and on Rocky’s side…uh, mostly rocks.”
And lighting so humans can see Rocky! Rocky added.
“Okay, so everyone curious about Project Tau Ceti?” Grace placed the camera back in its original spot.
Curious! Curious! Rocky lifted two limbs and swayed.
“The idea was from Eridians’ historians. They said interspecies cooperation, especially interplanetary ones at that, doesn’t happen every day. So we must record this breakthrough and try to establish communication between here and Earth.”
From the other side of the room, Rocky pulled something closer to the partition.
This is a prototype for probe, Rocky explained, Made it with Xenonite. Will fuel with Astrophage. But okay because we not send Taumoeba.
“And because we don’t know whether you’ll be able to cut through it,” Grace began, “I mean, seriously, this Xenonite stuff is some tough materials.”
We put instructions on how to open the probe in other probe, Rocky pulled another prototype.
“The other probe will be made with Earth materials, mostly scavenged from the Hail Mary,” Grace explained.
Will fill with many many Eridians history and science! Rocky added.
Grace raised two thumbs and smiled, “That’s the general idea. We’d send our knowledge to you. And if it reached Earth, hopefully it’ll help you send a reply too.”
The video cut off there.
Both Eva and Hugo stayed silent for a while.
That’s Grace. A lot skinnier than she remembered, and she noticed the burn scar covering almost half of his right side. But he’s alive, and treated well enough by the Eridians, it seemed. She thought she had sent him to die, and she knows she’ll blame herself for the rest of her life. But Grace is alive, and he looked…happy. More content than she’d ever seen him on Earth.
“Don’t you think that Rocky is kind of cute?” Hugo’s voice cut through the stillness, “Sort of like a very excited golden retriever.”
“That’s a grown being with a job, Hugo,” Eva managed to reply, though her voice was strained from emotion. “Do continue to the next file.”
***
The next few days were filled with Eva and Hugo taking notes on Eridian history. The Eridians were physically hampered by their biological evolution, so it took them much longer than humans to form civilization. On the other hand, due to how Eridians communicate, deception isn’t a big issue in their society. In short, as a species, they’re very coordinated and harmonious. As soon as Eridians developed written records, they made leaps and bounds in technological advances.
Eva made notes for scientific things she might inquire about from people more experienced in the field. She saw the infamous “Eridians’ thrum” activities that made Earth’s linguists so frustrated, too, but most of the thrum shown was for the science parts. Since Project Hail Mary’s focus is mostly narrative archival, Eva noted mostly the historical parts of the messages.
Representing the Eridians’ historians, and thus appearing often in the footage, is Rocky’s mate, whom Grace had nicknamed “Adrian”. Eva was a little taken aback the first time Adrian appeared. Since her only depiction of Eridians before came in the form of Rocky and Grace’s recordings, she thought Eridians were generally uniformly sized, like humans. Imagine her surprise when Adrian came into frame, and Grace had to pull the camera back to show them fully due to the way Adrian towered over both Grace and Rocky.
Adrian chattered, and the subtitle came on screen: This is the site of the Earth-Erid monument.
That day, Eridians showed the cenotaph erected in memory of astronauts who perished on Earth and Erid’s mission to defeat the Astrophage. A whole lighting crew was brought to make sure the details of the memorials are clearly visible. Grace came along inside his EVA.
When Eridians’ historian was learning from the human portable thinking machine (laptop), we learned about the artifact called the Rosetta Stone. Adrian motioned for the camera to come closer. We took inspiration from it and created this memorial to feature written inscriptions in both Eridian and English.
There’s a passage at the top-most of the memorial, narrating a short context of why the mission to Tau Ceti was necessary due to the Astrophage disaster. The camera moved slowly so the viewer could read the details. The monument listed the 22 Eridians who passed away in the mission. Eva read the English name equivalents: …Brilliance, Bright-eyed, Courage…
Then following them were the names of Earth’s astronauts who died on the journey to Tau Ceti. Captain Yáo Li-Jie and Olesya Ilyukhina. The subtitle came on again, noting the Eridian’s name for them translated into English: Pioneer for the Captain, and Steadfast for the Engineer.
Tears burned in Eva’s eyes, and she heard Hugo reaching for the tissue box as well.
Built near this memorial, we have also made the statue honoring the surviving heroes of the journey: Dr. Grace and my Rocky. Adrian invited the camera crews to move to another area.
Grace was beet-red when they showed the ten-meter-tall figure of him and Rocky standing side by side. Rocky was adorned with a packed toolbelt, while one of Grace’s hands was lifted, a centrifuge tube firmly held inside.
“Did I use the centrifuge machine that often?” Grace remarked.
Putting a microscope on his hands seemed odd, so we opted for a centrifuge tube. Adriane explained to the camera.
Grace cried when he first saw the statue. Rocky said off-camera.
“Please shut up,” Grace blushed even more, nearly as red as his EVA.
***
Eva has to admit she’s been procrastinating.
They’ve combed through hours of footage, but she has avoided one hard disk like the plague.
It’s the one with a yellow sticky tab attached to its side.
“This is the last one,” Hugo connected the hard disk to the laptop.
The screen showed several video files. One of them is clearly labeled “To Eva Stratt”. Eva felt slightly nauseous.
The laptop’s arrow inched closer to that file, and Eva’s knuckles firmly rapped the table. Hugo stopped what he was doing. “Yes?”
“I’d like to see the other files first,” she stated.
Hugo clicked on the other file, titled “Physics Class_70s to 80s”.
“What, like, physics class that taught through disco dance?” Hugo joked, trying to lighten the mood. Eva didn’t reply.
As it turns out, it’s not a disco-based physics class. Eridians live approximately ten times longer than humans. So, the 70s to 80s just mean that it was a recording of a physics class for a bunch of children, equivalent to approximately 7 to 8-year-old children on Earth.
The subtitle came on screen: So, everyone, welcome to the fifth week of our physics lessons. And today we’ll cover a very interesting topic.
The screen is split into two; the first screen showed Grace sitting near an organ-like instrument. The other screen pans to rows of small Eridians, even smaller than Rocky in size. Their carapace is much more vibrant than the other Eridians Eva has seen so far.
Who can tell me what organ humans use to sense light? Grace played the instrument. Judging by how the subtitle came after each note, Eva guessed that the instrument helps Grace speak Eridians.
Five different young Eridians raised their limbs.
Eyes! It’s called ‘eyes’. An Eridian chirped louder than its classmates.
That’s cheating! Mr. Grace hasn’t picked you to answer yet! Another Eridian protested.
Grace held up both of his hands before playing the instrument again: Okay, okay. Blossom, the answer is indeed eyes. But Meadow is also correct, you can’t answer before you get picked.
The Eridian called Blossom put a thumb down, and the one called Meadow settled down.
Humans have cone receptors inside their eyes. Grace began again. These receptors show human vision in the colors red, green, or blue. The color humans perceive is determined by its wavelengths. For Eridians, the wavelengths are interpreted as finer details, medium details, or rough details.
“Am I really seeing Earth’s leading molecular biologist work as an elementary school teacher?” Hugo gaped at the screen.
Eva smiled, “He was a teacher before the Petrova Taskforce.”
Grace had always been brilliant in his field. But one of his strongest niches is being a teacher. Seeing him like this, it’s like he’s back in his natural state as an educator.
“Wasn’t there a very old American show called Bill Nye the Science Guy?” Hugo asked, “He’s like that but to Eridians.”
Eva simply shrugged in response, but the smile hadn’t left her face.
***
The rest of the files showed Grace teaching Eridians of various education levels. From kindergarten to college level, the atmosphere of his class is always consistent. He’s passionate about the subject he’s teaching, and in response, his students paid attention with equal interest.
But at last, Eva had to confront the one footage she’s managed to postpone to the very end.
“Can I,” her voice faltered, “see the recording by myself?”
Hugo was so clearly trying to manage his expression into something neutral. He was also spectacularly failing at that. “Sure, I’ll go explore the building for a bit. See the pond. You want some coffee, Ms. Stratt?”
Pretending to ignore his pitying expression, Eva stood up and walked to Hugo’s seat, “Sure. Two black coffees, please.”
“That’s not good for your heart,” Hugo objected weakly. But he gave his seat up and exited the room anyway.
Left alone in the dark room, Eva’s hand trembled as she moved the cursor to the last file. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and clicked twice.
She expected Grace. Or Rocky. Or some formal ambassador of Eridian that would admonish her for the act of callousness in sending an unwilling participant in the Hail Mary.
Instead, a familiar towering figure came on screen.
Hello, Miss Eva Stratt. They began. First, I would like to congratulate Earth on its success in healing Sol to its full luminosity. I know it is no small feat, and it must have been a great relief that the Hail Mary mission has succeeded after all.
I heard that you are a historian as well. Although it seems that humanity’s history is much more fraught than here in Erid. Can’t be easy, knowing how much of humanity is already doomed the day Astrophage arrives on Sol.
For Eridians, our helplessness mostly stems from evolution standpoint. Our biological limitations hindered our progress, both technological and subsequently societal, from advancing much earlier. But, humanity..humanity’s struggle is much more complex than ours. As a species, Eridians know we can rely on each other. Our method of communication ensures that the chance of deception is wholly eliminated, whereas humanity relies on trust. And from the records I’ve seen, humanity must have been burned so often by parties that misused the trust humanity has in each other.
Humans yearn so much to be close with one another, but the fragile assurance of trust makes it hard for you to have faith in anyone other than oneself. Your species’s progress seemed to be delayed and impeded not by any biological hindrance, but rather through humanity’s tendency to self-destruct.
And so, I have to praise humanity, Ms. Stratt. Even through your constant disputes and conflicts, humanity banded together when it mattered the most. And you managed to send the Hail Mary. You sent Dr. Grace to us.
Eva braced herself for a reprimand, now that the subject seemed to be turned to Dr. Grace. But Adrian simply continued calmly.
Do you know what the Eridian word is for someone whose mate has died? Relicts. Something that was left behind.
It cannot be easy to betray the trust of your closest companion, especially knowing that humanity’s most ruinous tendency is to betray each other. But your decision led my Rocky to be saved. Led to the salvation of both of our planets. The only thing for me to feel is gratitude.
Eva’s hands wrapped around herself. It wasn’t admonition she found, it’s exoneration. Suddenly, she felt so vulnerable. On the screen, Adrian continued:
In my perusal through the human portable thinking machine (laptop), I also found that humanity developed a similar culture to Eridians. The love for storytelling. Myths, legends, attachments to narratives. There is a word for the characters that save the day in human storytelling. Heroes.
I’ve read through most of the myths, but I can’t seem to find one comparable to Dr. Grace. Adrian let out a higher-pitched chirp, possibly chuckling. Well, until I got into the legends that focused on human women. Do you know who Iphigenia is?
Eva knew Adrian couldn’t see her, but she nodded anyway. Iphigenia, the unwilling sacrifice in the story of the Trojan War.
It seemed that the earlier interpretation of Iphigenia’s story characterized her as a naive, selfish youngling who doesn’t understand her place in the bigger scheme of things. But, I think I understand Iphigenia better than I can understand the other heroes. She has such a deep appreciation of life, and that includes her own. She knew we only have this one life. That’s why she clung so tight to hers. In a way, is her story not the ultimate appreciation of our limited yet wonderful existence?
I don’t know what kind of person you are, Ms. Stratt. I don’t know whether you resent the part of Dr. Grace that refuses to throw his only life away, regardless of the trade-off. If you do, I hope you’ll understand him by now. And if it turns out, you’ve never resented him at all, I hope you’ll be able to forgive yourself eventually.
Then, the most unexpected thing happened. The screen showed Grace’s meeting room. He sat on one of the chairs, his posture rigid. He looked straight into the camera.
Eva’s fists clenched so hard, her nails might draw blood.
“Hi, Stratt.” Grace’s voice was tense. “I…don’t really know what to say.”
A chirp came from off-camera, and the subtitle read: Grace can do this another day. Grace is too tired today.
Grace sighed, “I know, Rocky, I don’t have to do this.”
His shoulders slumped, and he covered his face with his palms. When he looked up again, his eyes glimmered with tears, but his breath was steadier.
“But I want to do this,” he said firmly.
“I hated you. Still do, really,” Grace declared. Eva flinched.
“And after all this time, I can’t even hear your proper apology. Not that I think you’d ever apologize. You headstrong mule,” he huffed.
Eva wanted to scream, wanted her voice to reach across space, wanted a miracle by which Grace could hear her. Because she wanted to beg for her friend’s forgiveness. He, by God’s mercy, has survived the long-shot mission of Hail Mary. And through all the noise in her head, the clearest one is telling her to apologize at the feet of the sacrificial lamb. Every genuine plea that she couldn’t say back when she was still the head of Petrova Taskforce. She doesn’t want Grace to die thinking she despised him for his very human dread of facing death.
“I didn’t understand, and don’t really understand even now, how out of eight billion people, millions of brilliant minds around the world, why did it have to be me that got sent on that hopeless journey?” Grace took a heavy breath, “You know, I was so scared when I woke up. I was so desperate to return to Earth, only to realize that you, the collective you, the entire Earth, had sent me out here to die. And imagine my heartbreak when I finally remembered, I didn’t even consent to this. You drugged me. You forced me. I didn’t have any semblance of autonomy over my own choice, didn’t I? Worse off, I kept thinking: you, who I thought to be my friend, had sent me to die too.”
Eva couldn’t hold back her sobs any longer. Her entire body shook with each wail. She thought she had buried the guilt deep enough, but she was just staving it off. The dam’s broken, and she thinks she might die from the heartache.
On the other side of the screen, Grace seemed to be experiencing his own meltdown as well. Rocky let out a worried chirp: Grace, stop now? Grace, take a break?
Through the sniffles, Grace struggled to shake his head. For a moment, the room’s only noises came from the twin sobs of the two humans, separated through time and space, but grieving the same broken faith.
“But I..” Grace choked down his sobs, “But I don’t want to nurse this bitterness forever.”
He roughly wiped his eyes, his glasses skewed across his head.
“Sometimes it's the detours which turn out to be the fruitful ideas,” Grace let out a wet laugh, “I think Roger Penrose said that.”
“Perhaps I’ll never understand why it’s me you had to send. But this is the place that I’ve found myself at the end of that journey. I have blessings here that I couldn’t even imagine I’d ever have on Earth. I have my class, my very comfortable home, I have Rocky, I have Adrian, I have many, many friends here.”
“My only hope is that I’d be able to let go of my resentment toward you, someday. Because I want to live my life here, peacefully, without some ghost of the past clinging to my feet. And while I abhor you still, I hope…you’ll find your peace too. Whatever that might look like. Ultimately, I know, we were all just surviving then,” Grace exhaled, “But I don’t want to just survive anymore. I want to actually live the rest of my life.”
A tap came off-camera, and with the chirp came the subtitle: Grace strong. Grace did a good job. Rocky loves Grace.
Grace smiled, “I know. I love you too, bud.”
“Goodbye, Stratt,” Grace looked at the camera for the last time and exited the meeting room.
Rocky chirped: Adrian, I’m going to check on Grace.
Then a reply from Adrian: Okay, my love. Go ahead, I’ll finish up with the recording and join you later.
Adrian returned on screen: Ms. Stratt. As Grace said, we know ultimately that your choice was simply weighing between the survival of one against many. It’s a callous choice, an unkind choice. To Dr. Grace, but even to Captain Yáo Li-Jie, to Ms. Ilyukhina. Nevertheless, we Eridians will always be grateful for the way it led to our planet’s deliverance. And I will always be grateful for the choice that brings my Rocky back to me. So, thank you, Eva Stratt, sender of heroes.
The screen went dark, and with it, the whole room was covered in shadows. There, Eva remained so still, her head bowed inside her arms, and for the first time in a very long time, Eva cried to her heart’s content.
***
Hugo came into the room a quarter of an hour afterward. He found his boss staring catatonically into the dark screen, eyes red-rimmed.
“Ms. Stratt,” Hugo carefully put the coffees on the table, “Are you okay?”
She nodded slowly, “I, uhh…We have to go home. We’ve so much to do.”
“Yeah, we do have a lot of new materials for Project Hail Mary,” Hugo agreed, relieved that Eva is at least responsive.
He contacted Daniel, and the man materialized half an hour later to pick up the hard drives. If he did notice that Eva had been crying, he kindly did not mention anything about it.
On the way back to the hotel, Hugo heard Eva murmuring under her breath. Softly the words came out: Hail Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee…
“Who are you praying for?” Hugo muttered, half afraid his boss was losing her marbles.
“For all of us,” she said. Her sharp eyes informed Hugo that she was indeed still of sound mind.
Eva eyed the brightest star in the night sky, “I pray that the world will always remember Dr. Grace, the blessed hero of the Hail Mary.”
