Work Text:
Unknown number: Is this Jane?
Unknown number: Listen, whatever the FUCK Roz did, he’s sorry
Unknown number: PLEASE take him back
Shane: Who is this?
Unknown number: Oh shit, your real!!!?
Shane: You’re*
Unknown number: Wow
📳
Unknown number: Montreal! Take him back, Roz is so whipped for your pussy he can’t fucking skate straight anymore
Unknown number: Is this about the game? Cause we beat the Metros fair and fucking square
Unknown number: Shit
Unknown number: Forget I said that
Unknown number: Just talk to him
Unknown number: PLEASE
Shane: How did you get this number?
Unknown number: It’s an intervention
Unknown number: Like drugs
Unknown number: But for pussy
Shane: Stop saying pussy??
📳
Unknown number: Yooo!!! JANE.
Unknown number: Rozy’s heartbroken
Unknown number: Like a puppy
Unknown number: A really sad, really horny puppy
Shane: Tell Rozanov to stop giving out my number
Unknown number: Ouch
Unknown number: YOU tell him
Unknown number: After you take him back
Unknown number: PLEASE
Unknown number: We can’t handle another round of bagskates because another day went by where you didn’t fucking text him
Unknown number: He’s gonna kill us
Shane: Stop texting me, please.
Unknown number: Or what, you gonna ghost me too?
📳
Shane: Did you give my number to your whole team?
Shane: I just need some time to think
Lily: No
Shane: ?
Lily: I did not give number
Shane: Then why are they texting me?
Shane: It’s been three days of nonstop messages
Shane: I can’t put my phone in DND mode
Shane: What if my mom calls?
Shane: ?
Shane: Lily?
Shane: Are you ignoring me? I can see your read receipts.
Shane: Fine. Whatever. Fuck.
📳
🏆 THE MF RAIDERS 🏆
Cap: Leave Jane alone
#1 Dipshit: She started it man!
Marly: Don’t give Caspar the pussy ghost credit for my hard work fucker
Marly: I got that number fair and fucking square
Marly: She needs to know what’s up
Cap: Is this what you were doing with my phone? Fuck you Marly
#2 Dipshit: It’s Roz’s dick
#2 Dipshit: Hard for CANADIAN pussy
Cap: What is fascination with my dick, Connors?
#2 Dipshit: Wtf, not like that man
#2 Dipshit: You need to get laid
#2 Dipshit: No way Janes pussy is THAT insane
Cap: Stop saying pussy
Marly: Jesus fuck you even SOUND like her
Marly: Your so fucking whipped Roz
Cap: 😡
Cap: You’re*
Cap: Bagskates. All of you.