Chapter Text
Giving her baby to one of the richest families in Gotham was supposed to be an act of mercy, if not kindness.
Motherhood wasn’t a thought that crossed Selina's mind until she was sitting on her bathroom floor, praying to any god that'd listen for the test in her hand to be negative. She prayed again for the next test, then the test after that, and once more to be sure until all four of her prayers were denied.
Selina picked her poison, deciding the kindest option was to spare her unborn child a strenuous life. A decision she stood by even after her pre-op appointment at the clinic. But it wasn't the photo of a speck the nurse gave her that changed her mind.
Ironically it only strengthened her resolve to terminate after seeing a spot with no face to forget or heartbeat to silence.
No, her mind was swayed when a crippling loneliness began visiting every night. Then every morning. Staying just a bit longer than the last time they met, following her to wherever she ran off to.
And then her heartbroken and isolated mind began to reason that until her pregnancy reached an end, she was not alone. Her lonely nights could be filled with the company of her unborn child, fathered by a flame she had yet to snuff out. It was far too tempting to hope keeping the baby to term could keep the loneliness away for good.
Selina made her choice under one condition.
She was allowed to be selfish, however, she was not allowed to be unfair.
If at any moment her baby showed signs of distress because of her, if she were to fail them in every way that mattered, she would give them to someone who could give all the love and care she couldn’t.
—-
Selina had started playing house, fantasizing about what a life could be like if she were to look at nursery designs instead of the stocks of the richest Gotham families. If the man she sunk her claws into miraculously came back and was overjoyed to be a father. The fantasy even went as far to consider showing up to the manor to share a pot of tea with Alfred.
As time went on the list of reasons to let her baby go grew with him.
Bruce has yet to return to Gotham. The last time they spoke was when Bruce told her he couldn't commit to a relationship, that he had already promised both his mind and body to a cause greater than himself. A child would've done nothing to deter him from the mission he placed upon his shoulders.
New and old enemies began rising to power in Gotham. Gothamites were now enduring explosions, shootings, poisonous gases plaguing the air and sadists running rampant in the streets. It was dangerous enough to be a civilian in this city, but to be the child of more influential figures made them a target.
As the months ticked by Selina realized just how little prepared she was to take care of a baby. Stealing was her main source of income. High risk brought high reward. Children were expensive, a never ending tab she would spend the rest of her life trying to close.
An ouroboros of leaving to take, taking to provide, with no one to provide when she leaves.
Which is why it felt like a miracle was placed at her feet when she found Janet and Jack Drake. A recently married couple in Gotham's high-society, known for their travels and discoveries, and proud donors to charities supporting women's infertility research. Janet had been open about her own medical conditions that affected her own fertility while Jack stood beside her, expressing his desire for an heir did not outweigh the love he had for his wife.
Selina saw them as a couple who would keep what she would gift them before taking her baby far away from this cursed city to live a luxurious life. One full of all the care, necessities, and stability she couldn't give herself.
They were perfect. Too perfect, even.
She let herself indulge in a few weeks of being a mother, letting a distant fantasy play out just a little while longer. When her baby was strong enough she had placed him in a basket full of warm blankets before setting him down at the Drake’s front door with a plush cat to accompany him.
A parting gift. One she hoped would watch over him in her place.
Selina had bent over backwards to steal from high-security museums with nothing but a sewing kit. And yet, she has never handled anything as carefully as she did with that basket. Endless hours of planning from the blanket she would place to the weather of the day.
She's never felt an ounce of remorse for anything she's taken, but nothing has weighed on her more than the gift she placed at their door.
She left no note, no name, no trace back to her. The baby she’d given them was a clear canvas. Her motive was to prevent her from coming back for him. The name wouldn’t be able to haunt her, and if they were to ever cross paths, it would be as strangers.
—
Life went on as if a baby was only a fever dream. Jewels still sparkled, Gotham’s crime-rates continued to rise, and the thrill of a police chase never dulled.
And then Bruce came back to Gotham more jaded than before.
All he had to offer her was a cryptic story of monks in snowy mountains and a promise he made to Gotham in the name of his parents. Bruce was going down a road Selina couldn't follow and Selina went down a path Bruce wouldn't. They became two ships in the night who were rarely caught in the same current.
There were times where she thought about telling Bruce. One of those cold and lonely nights where they’d be staking out the same locations. She would always beat the thought down, remembering one of the reasons she chose the Drakes was to keep their son far away from the dark paths they walked.
Selina almost told Bruce about their son when Bruce took in a boy from the circus.
She saw how fatherhood was bringing the light back into his life, blending Batman and Bruce Wayne into one, reliable figure. Guilt twisted in her chest when she saw how much delight Bruce found in being a father, but when she saw that same boy in bright colors at Batman’s side, she knew staying silent was the best choice.
The secret didn’t get easier to keep with the addition of another son. One brave enough to steal from the Bat and received unconditional love in return.
Selina looked through the frosted glass of a charity gala and saw an almost perfect family. A father, his two sons, their beloved butler and a loyal dog. The missing piece being one more son and the youngest of the brothers.
One she could've given them wrapped carefully in a cashmere blanket with the same black hair, curious blue eyes, and no doubt charming smile. But Selina knew it was far too late.
Her baby boy no longer existed, a fantasy born no more than ten years ago.
There was only Timothy Jackson Drake.
A boy nowhere to be found at the biggest gala of the year.
—-