Chapter Text
Jovenshire has added Sohinki, Lasercorn, FLitz, Wes Johnson, #Saltqueen Takahashi, CoMill, Olivia Sui, Shayne Topp, Noah GROSSman, Keith Leak, Ian HeCOCKS, and Anthony Padildo to the chat “SMOSH”
2:54 p.m.
Sohinki: Joven why
Lasercorn: oh god
Shayne Topp: …?
Keith Leak: YALL THIS IS GONNA BE SO LIT
Jovenshire: SEE AT LEAST KEITH APPRECIATES ME
FLitz: here we go
CoMill: ooOOOH I’M READY FOR THIS
Olivia Sui: me too!!
Noah GROSSman: whyyyyyy
Ian HeCOCKS: Joven no
Jovenshire: JOVEN YES
Keith Leak: i’m just happy to be here
#Saltqueen Takahashi: iconic
Sohinki: i have to deal with you people at school and now i have this smh
#Saltqueen Takahashi: oh, shut up, you love us
Lasercorn: YEAH
CoMill: yeah, it’s not so bad!!
Anthony Padildo: dear god why
Jovenshire: WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING HATERS
FLitz: i’m dubbing myself the quiet lurker yall im just gonna sit back and let this shit happen
Wes Johnson: Flitz nooo! :(
Sohinki: o shit flitz u gotta listen to him
Lasercorn: yeah flitz come on
FLitz: ...i hate you all
Wes Johnson: aww :(
Jovenshire: FLITZ YOU MADE WES SAD
Jovenshire: HE’S ALL FROWNY AND SAD NOW
Jovenshire: YOU MADE HIM SAD IN HIS FAVORITE CLASS
Jovenshire: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE LOVES SPANISH
Jovenshire: HE GETS CANDY HERE
3:14 p.m.
Wes Johnson: did i hear candy???!!
Jovenshire has changed Wes Johnson’s name to CandyWes
CandyWes: yay!! I love candy!!!
FLitz: we know dude
Sohinki: yeah man thats why we filled your locker with candy
CandyWes: REALLY????!!!
Lasercorn: GOD DAMN IT SOHINKI
Anthony Padildo: SOHINKI IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE
Jovenshire: SOHINKI FFS
Sohinki: oops
CoMill has changed Sohinki’s name to Surprise Ruiner
Surprise Ruiner has changed their name to Sohinki
CoMill: >:((
CandyWes has changed the group name to “thanks guys :))”
CandyWes: O H MY GO D THERE’S SO MUCH CANDY
CandyWes: IT ALL FELL OUT AND EVERYO NE’S LOOKING A T ME
CandyWes: I LOVE YOU GUYS
Sohinki: we love you too wes
CoMill: <3333
Olivia Sui: happy early birthday!!
Noah GROSSman: <3
Keith Leak: <333
FLitz: u better share bc i bought 60% of that
CandyWes: really??
FLitz: ...yes?
Jovenshire: it was all flitz’s idea man
Lasercorn: yeah the rest of us just tossed in cheap candy from 5 below
#Saltqueen Takahashi: flitz went to like
#Saltqueen Takahashi: target
#Saltqueen Takahashi: and like actual candy stores
Noah GROSSman: #goals
FLitz: its nbd
Olivia Sui: #witz
Ian HeCOCKS: WITZ I’M WHEE ZING
CoMill: OMG I SHIP IT
CandyWes: haha what??
FLitz: guyS NO
Keith Leak: YALL THEYD BE SO CUUUTE
Anthony Padildo: omfg
Jovenshire changed the group name to “#WITZ”
CandyWes: guys omg what’s going on
FLitz: nothin g
Noah GROSSman: omg flitz
#Saltqueen Takahashi: JUST ACCEPT IT FLITZ
FLitz: IM NOT ACCEPTING ANYTHING
#Saltqueen Takahashi changed FLitz’s name to In Denial
In Denial: IM NOT IN DENIAL THEREs NOTHING TO DENY OMFG
CandyWes: ?????? WHATS HAPPENING
In Denial: NOTHING WES DONT WORRY ABOUT IT
CandyWes: NO I WANNA KNOW
Jovenshire: wes meet me by the entrance i’ll tell you
CandyWes: okay
In Denial: JOVEN NO
#Saltqueen Takahashi: OMFG I JUST SAW FLITZ FUCKING SPRINTING DOWN THE STAIRS
Noah GROSSman: DUDE CHILL U ALMOST KNOCKEd ME OVER
Jovenshire: HE FUCKIN TACKLED ME
CandyWes: IVE NEVER BEEN SO CONFUSED IN MY LIFE
CandyWes: WHAT THE FUCK ISGOIN G ON??
Ian HeCOCKS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s013grY4zRo
Jovenshire: I CAME HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AN I’M HONESTLY FEELIN G SO ATTACKED RIGHT NWO
Jovenshire: FLITZ LITERALLY FUKCING TACKLED ME UFCK
CandyWes: ??? WHY THO???
Jovenshire: BECAUSE HE DOESNT WAN TYOU TO KNOW HE HAS AC CRnfnblnngblnlb aowegolnbmoiiierjfmv
CandyWes: what???
#Saltqueen Takahashi: for those of you who aren’t here
#Saltqueen Takahashi: flitz kicked jovens phone literally out the door
Noah GROSSman: it was so funny this is great u guys should all come down here
CoMill: omw!!!
Olivia Sui: ^^
Keith Leak: yall i feel like we should have popcorn
Shayne Topp: wait up i wanna see flitz beat up joven to keep his gay secret
CandyWes: gay secret??? is that what this is about??
In Denial: NO
In Denial: SHAYNE STFU
In Denial changed their name to FLitz
FLitz: DONT LISTN TO HIM WES
Anthony Padildo: no wes definitely listen to shayne
FLitz: SHUT THE FCKU UP ONG
CandyWes: im so conflicted???? is flitz gay?? flitz u know its okay we accept courtney and noah
FLitz: yeah bud i know its nothing ok dont worry
CandyWes: u can tell me man
CandyWes: youre my best friend!!
FLitz has left the chat
CandyWes: oh no!! did i say something wrong??
Sohinki: nah dude i think hes just
Sohinki: idk actually
CandyWes has added FLitz to the chat “#WITZ”
CandyWes: flitz whats wrong?
FLitz: can we talk? like... privately?
CandyWes: of course!
Sohinki: what do you think they’re talking about
Ian HeCOCKS: how gay they are for each other probably
3:40 p.m.
CandyWes: whats up man??
FLitz: okay so
FLitz: u know how shayne was saying i had a gay secret
FLitz: and everyone was like
FLitz: “witz!!” and shit??
CandyWes: yeah
FLitz: well u see
FLitz: its kinda bc
FLitz: ive had a crush on you since like
FLitz: when u moved here
CandyWes: holy shit
4:27 p.m.
FLitz: Wes?
5:03 p.m.
FLitz: Wes??
3:40 p.m.
CandyWes has left the chat
Jovenshire: oh shit
Sohinki: oooooh no
Lasercorn: omg what happened
CoMill: guys this isnt good
Olivia Sui: :(((
Noah GROSSman: has anyone heard anything from either of them??
Shayne Topp: no
Keith Leak: nah fam wtf happened
#Saltqueen Takahashi: i havent
Jovenshire: fuck
Jovenshire: flitz just called me and he’s freaking out
Shayne Topp: fuck i feel really bad
Shayne Topp: i shouldn’t have said what i said
Noah GROSSman: its okay man we all said shit
Shayne Topp: still
Shayne Topp: fuck it since i outed him i guess this will have to be my apology
Shayne Topp: i’m bi
Noah GROSSman: o shit
CoMill: hey congrats!! wish the circumstances were better
Olivia Sui: still love you <3
Shayne Topp: thanks guys
Keith Leak: yall i think you broke noah
Keith Leak: we were playin smash bros and he just dropped his phone and controller and climbed out the window what do i do
Keith Leak: [ image of Noah climbing out the window ]
Ian HeCOCKS: oh my god where’s he going
Anthony Padildo: doesnt his window go out to the roof or something
Keith Leak: yall hes just layin on his roof
Shayne Topp: yeah i can see him from my window
Shayne Topp: i’m gonna climb over there and see whats up
Keith Leak: o shit waddup !! i forgot yall were neighbors
Keith Leak: thats lit!! they have a tree connecting their roofs im jealous
Keith Leak: anybody got any ideas on why noah isnt speaking anymore
Ian HeCOCKS: Noah.exe has stop responding
CoMill: whats wrong with him tho :((
Olivia Sui: doesnt he have a crush on shayne
Shayne Topp: what
Noah GROSSman: OLIVIA NO
Noah GROSSman: FUUUUUUUUCK
Shayne Topp: um
Noah GROSSman: um
Noah GROSSman: i guess the cats out of the bag???
Shayne Topp: are u for real
Noah GROSSman: um.. yes?
Keith Leak: YALL SHAYNE JUST KISSED NOAH THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Olivia Sui: OMG <33 :D
CoMill: yaaaASSS
Ian HeCOCKS: NICE
Anthony Padildo: ABOUT TIME
Jovenshire: i dont mean to ruin the happy times but uh
Jovenshire: wes is gone
Jovenshire: like idk where he is
#Saltqueen Takahashi: oh shit really??
Jovenshire: yeah like hes not at his house or anything
FLitz: guys i fucked up
FLitz: i told him i liked him and now hes gone
FLitz: this is all my fault
CoMill: flitz no!! its not your fault :((
Keith Leak: yall we gotta find him
Keith Leak: and get me away from these losers
Jovenshire: im getting the Ovenshire Mobile
Anthony Padildo: you mean your mom’s minivan?
Jovenshire: listen here you little shit
4:30 p.m.
Jovenshire: okay fresh gays and keith get in the Ovenshire Mobile
Keith Leak: FRESH GAYS Yall crack me up im dead
Ian HeCOCKS has changed Shayne Topp’s name to fresh gay #1
Ian HeCOCKS has changed Noah GROSSman’s name to fresh gay #2
fresh gay #2: guys why
fresh gay #1: ok
Ian HeCOCKS: bc u are fresh gays
Jovenshire: gET IN THE FUCKING C A R
Jovenshire: WE HAVE A CANDY OBSESSED MANCHILD TO FIND
Jovenshire: FLITZ IM COMING TO YOU NEXT
FLitz: okay
FLitz: but are you sure i should go?
FLitz: im the one who chased him off
Ian HeCOCKS: me and anthony are going to get olivia mari and courtney
Jovenshire: ok
Jovenshire: flitz you definitely should be going because you two need to talk
Keith Leak: ok at first it was cute but now yall gotta chiLL
CoMill: ???
Keith Leak: THEY WON’T STOP KISSING
Anthony Padildo: LMAO
Jovenshire: FLITZ GET YOUR FINE ASS OUT HERE
Ian HeCOCKS: joven thats gay
Jovenshire: SO ARE YOU
Anthony Padildo: o shit he got u
Jovenshire: YOU TOO PADILDO
fresh gay #2 has changed Ian HeCOCKS’s name to old gay #1
fresh gay #2 has changed Anthony Padildo’s name to old gay #2
fresh gay #2: PAYBACK
Keith Leak: exposed
old gay #1: listen we’re not old
old gay #2: yeah just because we graduated last year doesn’t make us old
old gay #2: you guys are Children
old gay #1: quite literally
Keith Leak has changed their name to lonely gay
lonely gay: i felt left out
Jovenshire has changed their name to lonely gay #2
lonely gay: o shit waddup
lonely gay #2: :)
old gay #1: holy fuck
old gay #1: are you guys thinking what i’m thinking
fresh gay #2: OH SHIT
old gay #1 has changed the group name to “#LEAKENSHIRE”
lonely gay #2: gUYS NO
lonely gay: haha lmao
fresh gay #1: o shit we broke keith
fresh gay #1: he was laughing and then he suddenly stopped and looked up
fresh gay #1: now hes looking at joven weird
fresh gay #2: i think keith has caught Feelies
lonely gay: yall what the fuck
lonely gay: i didnt ask for this shit
lonely gay #2: u ok??
lonely gay #2: also flitz we’re here
FLitz: i was gone for like 10 minutes what the fuck
4:56 p.m.
lonely gay: yall when did joven get so hot
fresh gay #1: whoop there it is