Chapter Text
Roy’s perspective~~~~
I don’t usually remember after mission conversations, mostly because I’m drunk. But this time I only had a small bit. Since I was feeling the withdrawal I decided to study Jason as a distraction.
Good god. He looks so… everything under the starlight. His eyes seemed to glow green under the dim blanket of night, looking like two fireflies shining through the thick air. His hair is barely visible besides his white streak, although I know it’s all soft and fluffy. And his skin, dipping deep with scarring. I know he won’t admit it but I notice a few new X’s on his arms every once in a while. I frowned, still staring at him with reverence and wonder. I wished he’d talk to me. I wish I could ease his troubles and fix his pain. But I can’t. His scars look like stars on his body, sprinkled throughout his skin and I know almost every story. The Y on his chest from the autopsy, the J on his face, the bullet wounds, the X’s, and-
“Roy? You’ve been staring at me like I kicked your puppy.” Jason said, looking at me with confusion. I snap out of my trance and give a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of my neck. “Sorry! I was just thinking, Jaybird.” I said, masking my emotions with a bit higher if a voice than usual. Shit. He noticed. “That wasn’t your ‘thinking’ face, carrot head.” Jason said suspiciously, looking me up and down. “I-I-…” I stuttered and stumbled over my words, which must have made Jason worry more because he furrowed his brows further and turned towards me.
“… Is it the cravings again?…”
Something in me froze, my stomach dropping. I wanted to immediately say no, to reassure him and not add to his burden. But my throat felt like it was closing, and my eyes stung. Maybe it was a bit of craving. That’s why I was staring in the first place. To distract myself. After moments of silence, I whispered hoarsely
“I’ll be okay…”
“Roy-“
“I said I’m fine!”
Silence… before I knew it, tears were falling in quick burning trails on my cheeks. A small hiccup escaped me and Jason looked over at me again, his eyes widening. I usually never cry. Actually I just don’t. But something in me felt like it was cracking, bending and groaning as it broke. Jason’s rough hands gently grabbed my shoulder and lifted my chin to meet his eyes. I sniffled and hid my face in my hands, trying to escape the burning shame building in me. “Hey, hey… look at me please? It’s okay…” He spoke softly, his gruff voice seemed almost like a gentle soul. I looked up at him with red eyes, sobbing softly. “There you are…” he murmured, “What’s wrong? Can you tell me what’s going through that head o’ yours?” I gave a wet weak laugh, and wiped my tears. “I just can’t help but feel like I hold you back… and maybe I miss using…”
Jason’s eyes widen and he tightened his grip slightly. “Roy, no.” He chided gently, and spoke softly, “You don’t need it. You’re stronger without it.” Jason pulled me into a tight hug surprisingly while he spoke. I hesitated but wrapped my arms around his waist and just let him hold me. He pressed his lips to my temple, which made me feel warm. We sat there for what felt like hours, just holding each other.
RING RING
“Shit. It’s Kori.” Jason muttered checking his phone. He silenced it and looked at me. “You good to go back home?” I nodded. Home. With him. I couldn’t tell him that he was my home. That he was the only person I’d follow anywhere.