Chapter Text
Shane shot up from bed, the sound of his phone ringing shocking him awake. The darkness of the room overwhelmed him. He stared down at the phone screen, his vision blurry. The sharpness of the ringtone made it hard to think. He forced a few blinks before the blurs on the screen finally focused, forming legible words:
incoming call: Sarah (case worker) Johnson
Shane’s heart felt like it momentarily stopped. He immediately shook Ilya, answering the phone.
“Hello-Hi, uh, Sarah. What’s- up?” Shane cringed at himself, his mind still waking up.
“Hi Shane, or should I say good morning, since it is 3:00 AM.” Sarah laughed at her own joke and continued, “I am so sorry to wake you up, but I have exciting news.” Shane was positive his heart had fully stopped. “We have a placement for you. You aren’t going to believe this Shane.” Sarah sniffled, “A newborn. A healthy boy. He was born two hours ago at Montreal General Hospital. Both parents decided to relinquish their parental rights.”
Shane’s heart dropped deep into his stomach, a mix of joy, unease, sadness, love, and other emotions Shane couldn’t name. Ilya was fully sitting up next to him, listening as intently as he could. Shane muted himself. The words left his mouth almost automatically. “Newborn. Healthy boy. He is at Montreal General.” He unmuted himself. He put Sarah on speaker.
“Sarah, I have you on speaker, Ilya is next to me.” Shane informed.
“Good morning, Ilya. It would be an open adoption as well. You can take a few to discuss, but I will need an answer within, let’s say 30 minutes?”
Ilya violently shook his head yes. Shane muted himself. “Yes?”
“Yes, Shane. Yes.”
“No need, Sarah. We- we can be there in four hours-“
“Three, Sarah. We can be there in three hours. Thank you.” Ilya interrupted, smiling.
“I’m so happy for you both. I will see you both there. Congratulations to you both. See you soon!”
“Thank you, Sarah.” Shane clicked off the call.
“Holy fucking shit.” Shane gasped. “Oh fuck, Ilya. My heart. Oh my god.” Shane squeaked through a laugh, a cry, a gasp, a sigh.
“Three fucking years.” Ilya cupped his hands around Shane’s face, tears welling in his eyes. “I can’t believe it. Three years. Over. With what- three minute phone call?” He laughed, pressing his forehead to Shane’s.
There had been other calls, but those calls always fell through under the happiest of circumstances. A biological parent changing their mind, a grandparent found, an aunt who steps up. How could Ilya and Shane ever be disappointed those babies would be staying with their biological families? It will happen, when it’s right. Ilya would say everytime, his eyes guiltily sad.
“A newborn? We weren’t prepared for a newborn,
Ilya.” Shane whispered, a tear falling down his face.
“We have a crib.” Ilya smiled, wiping the tear away.
“We need a bassinet.” Shane closed his eyes. “We need diapers. I need to check if the diaper cream is expired. Oh my god, formula.”
“Shane, hospital will give us enough of everything for the first 24 hours, you know this. You are having panic attack.” Ilya softly pressed his lips on Shane’s, “Breathe, Shane. Do you want to do this? Tell me, moya lyubov, there is no wrong answer. We can call Sarah back.”
“I do. I do.” Shane answered quickly, “I just need to breathe.”
“Okay, moya lyubov. When we leave hospital we will find first store with bassinet. I will go in and buy it and everything I can think of and you will sit with the baby in the car. How does that sound?” Ilya laughed, “I think we need to decide name now, huh?”
“Oh fuck.” Shane exclaimed. Ilya pulled him into a hug laughing softly, running his hand through Shane’s hair. The tension in Shane’s body was still present, but slowly melted away.
“I have to call my mom.” Shane quickly stated, jumping from the bed, dialing his moms number frantically.
The two men gathered everything they could think of. Shane’s mom, Yuna, a champion of levelheadedness, put herself in charge of purchasing a bassinet, formula, and diapers and anything else Shane texted her. “Just focus on getting my grandson home. We will be there waiting.”
Shane stood at the small dresser in the nursery they had slowly constructed over the last two years. They only had two newborn onesies. He grabbed them both along with two 3-6 month sized onesies. He wasn’t sure why he would need four onesies, but… just in case. He packed the matching socks, the matching hat, blankets for swaddling, baby carrier, unexpired diaper cream, and diapers in the smallest size he could find all thrown in a diaper bag he had purchased a year ago on a whim. He looked around the nursery, the small wall of books, the rocking chair, the 3 in 1 crib they had researched and researched. It was so quiet, hopefully the quietest it would ever be again. By noon today he would be walking in with a baby. Finally, he grabbed the Polaroid Ilya had bought Shane as a Christmas gift last year and the extra film. For next Christmas. Ilya had said quietly. Shane thought briefly about Christmas morning pancakes and the sound of small giggles.
He walked downstairs into the kitchen. Ilya filling up two empty, matching travel mugs with coffee. He watched for a moment as Ilya carefully added the perfect amount of dairy free creamer to Shane’s grey mug, and barely a splash of milk to his black mug before putting the lids on. He set the two prepared mugs next to a small tote bag. Ilya looked over at Shane and smiled.
“I threw some apples and those granola bars you like in the bag with some water bottles for the drive… and your sudoku puzzles to distract you if we have to wait.” Ilya winked.
“Take the mugs and pose next to the clock on the oven. I’ll take a picture for the album.” Shane smiled waving the Polaroid. The clock read 3:45 AM. Ilya posed, with tired eyes, but a happy smile. Shane thought it might have been the best picture he ever took of Ilya. He snapped one on his phone as well.
As the two men loaded up the car, a familiar SUV pulled in. Yuna and David hopped out.
“Good morning.” Yuna hugged them both. “I will get everything ready. Sheets washed, clothes washed, lunch made, Anya walked. Well, David will be the one walking Anya.” Yuna brushed Shane’s hair off his forehead.
“Thank you, mom. Can you double check the car seat for us? The instructions are sitting in the seat.”
“Of course, hun. David, get a picture of the boys.”
Yuna called.
“Can you take one on this as well?” Shane handed over the Polaroid.
Shane and Ilya posed in front of the full trunk.
Shane and Ilya hugged his parents goodbye, Shane snapping another photo of them waving from their front porch as Ilya backed out of the driveway.
The road was dark, no other car on the road, and the wind was rustling the trees. Shane watched the occasional leaf fall from the forest lined road, illuminated only by the headlights. Soft music played in the background.
“A healthy boy.” Ilya almost whispered.
“A healthy boy.” Shane repeated, placing his hand across the console onto Ilya’s thigh. He rubbed smaller circles.
“Theo.” Shane said quietly. “‘God’s gift.’”
“Theo Hollander-Rozanov.” Ilya looked over at Shane and smiled, putting his hand over Shane’s, bringing Shane’s hand up to his face and placing a small kiss on his palm. “Theo.” He repeated, smiling.