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“Avery?” Derek paused.
“Hm?”
“How do you like your eggs again?”
Avery thought for a second, before replying “Soft is good! ...Wait you have infinite knowledge, why are you asking me?” His boyfriend shrugged.
“Well, y’know me. Sometimes asking is a reminder of humanity.”
“Yeah.” Avery shrugged. “That's fair.”
“yo you cooking eggs? aw hell yeah gimme scrambled.”
“Ohh my god who invited you.” Derek groaned and face palmed. Avery grabbed the fly swatter and ran full speed at the King. The King shrieked like a girl whilst being chased out of the house, before eventually collapsing at the door and Avery standing over it.
“And DONT come BACK you PRICK.” The slime shut the door on the King.
“urrrrgghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!” The King stood up and brushed the dust from the floor off itself. “yall NEVER enjoy having me around.” it huffed and began to walk away from the house before tripping and falling flat on its face. Loser.
When the King in Yellow woke up it saw it was in the gacha life mini movie music video hell.
“dude what the hell.” it stated as it looked around, the faint sound of Darkside echoing throughout the realm.
Just then a gurgle came from below it. It looked down and a small gelatinous orange blob came up to it and started giggling and hugging it.
“adewnsdhwgasbjhwladjgedsuihefjka :DD” it stated.
“ew” the King replied. It held a bit of its cloak up and a long leg with a stiletto heel on emerged from the darkness. The King was about to punt the jelly into the stratosphere when-
“HELLO HASTUR.” a voice caused the King to look up.
“oh hi. ugh. bro who are you again.” It tilted its head to a 97° angle whilst looking at the red entity.
“OH MY GOD YOU ARE PATHETIC.” it replied “ITS ME DUDE. THE SCARLET KING. YOUR EX-HUSBAND.”
“oh hell nah twin what my ex doing here 😭🙏” its posture snapped into being perfect with seconds. “get me outta here dude. also tf is this thing.” It used the stiletto leg to point at the gloop, who was attempting eating its cloak. “its ugly.”
A gasp from the fellow king. “EXCUSE ME????? THAT IS OUR SON. SCP-999.”
“ok whatever. still ugly. um. ok why am i here.”
“WE HAVE TO FINALISE OUR DIVORCE.”
“ok.”
Like two minutes later they were at court. SCP-999 was still acting stupid and trying to eat the wooden desk he was placed on.
“ok whos the judge.”
“BOTH THE ACE ATTORNEY AND THE WEIRD BEAR THING FROM DANGANROMPA WERE BUSY SO I TOOK THE NEXT BEST OPTION.”
The door was busted open and Mr Antony Tenna strutted in.
“Hello KING IN YELLOW and SCARLET KING!!!!!!! I am here to settle your DIVORCE!!!!!!!! I also dont have the budget for pngs anymore so yeah your getting CAPITALS!!!!!!!!”
“hi ten”
“GREETINGS ANTONY.”
“And now.......... we greet........... my ASSISTANT......... KASANE TETO!!!!!!!”
Teto appeared dressed in the Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson fit™.
“Hallo.” she smiled.
“Now let the divorce......... COMMENCE!!!!!!!!!” Tenna pointed at Teto. “Ready, TETO????? Now, ask QUESTION NUMBER ONE!!”
She gulped “Oh um, 999? Which parent do you want to stay with?”
The jello gurgled “abdsawdbkajdjfwqaknwdk bahblkwfbhlwabflakwda :DD” and continued with trying to eat the desk.
“Um, Mr. Tenna?” She looked at the TV. “I don’t..... think this is going to work....”
“Thats PERFECTLY FINE Teto!!!! You DONT have to worry!!!!!!” He cleared his throat, “Now..... the MILLION DARK DOLLAR QUESTION........ WHO WANTS THE KID(S)???????????”
“not me 😑”
“ME.”
“Okie dokie!!” Tenna wrote it down on a notepad, “Annnnnddddddd........ who wants the house?”
“i ate it 😊😋”
“HASTUR I HATE YOU.”
“truke”
“Oh... ok.” Antony shrugged. SCP-999 carried on trying to eat his desk.
“NO BUT LITERALLY NOTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED TO ME SINCE I MET YOU.”
“not even 999?”
“MY GOD NOT EVEN HIM. DO YOU GET WHY I HATE YOU? CUS YOU’RE HORRIBLE. I WISH YOUD DIE. YOUR BROTHERS MUCH BETTER.”
“Cuthulus a weirdo lol”
“HIS NAME IS MOON LORD NOW BTW.”
“go away”
“NO YOU GO AWAY”
“no you”
“NO YOU”
The two Kings carried on arguing and left the courtroom, leaving 999 happily squeaking as it slowly nibbled the desk. Holy moly it actually was dissolving it. Oh wow. Teto and Tenna stayed behind and Tenna hummed in confusion.
“Well. That just happened. How are YOU doing Teto?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?” He pointed his mic at the chimera.
“I’ll be honest Tenna. I can’t bloody take it anymore.” She stared into space and fiddled with her shirt.
“Oh.” Tenna leant down to look at her, “You okay? Want some water?” Teto nodded and the two left the courtroom. SCP-999 was left in the courtroom but Teto emailed the SCP foundation so yeah we should be good.