Archive of Our Own

“What’s going on?” Rudo asked as he walked into the mess hall and found all of Teams Akuta and Child sitting around two of the tables. Semiu and Gris stood in front of them while various other people Rudo wasn’t familiar with bustled around, putting up…decorations?

Semiu had just called him over from his room through the chokers without elaborating as to why, hanging up too quickly for him to ask. So he’d reluctantly shut off his little radio and set aside his latest project (which was actually fixing up a stuffed animal of Dear’s at Bro’s request, since August had been busy with something or other) to shuffle his way down here. He hadn’t been expecting to be met with this sight. 

“Happy Restoration Day!” Riyo cheered, pumping a fist in the air where she sat in between Enjin and Zanka at one of the tables. Follo was sitting across from them, and Rudo moved to sit next to him, feeling even more hopelessly lost when everyone else echoed Riyo with varying levels of enthusiasm. 

He’d nearly opened his mouth just to parrot the same thing back and figure out what they meant later when recent memories of conversations he’d had with some of the others flashed through his mind. They’d been trying to drill it into his head that he could just ask whenever they lost him on something in conversation, that they never expected him to know everything about the Ground by now. Maybe he should actually try putting that into practice. 

“What’s Restoration Day?” he asked hesitantly, looking around at everyone curiously, before something else occurred to him and he pinned his gaze on Semiu. “Is that why we have the day off?”

Everyone paused for a second, and he froze along with them when the weight of so many eyes fell on him. Then it seemed to click, and he had to resist the urge to shrink in on himself a little as he watched the realization dawn on every expression nearly at once. 

Semiu’s head snapped over to shoot Enjin a sharp glare, to which he quickly raised his hands in defense. She didn’t even need to say a word; her face said it all. Enjin reacted immediately. “Hey, teaching him about holidays, of all things, slipped my mind! Leave me alone!”

“Important information has been ‘slipping your mind’ since Rudo first got here, you bum,” Semiu shot back. “You relayed the message that your team had the day off and didn’t think to tell him why?”

“I forgot! And don’t call me a bum, damn…”

Semiu didn’t grace him with a reply and turned to address Rudo again. “Sorry, Rudo, I thought your idiot of a team leader would have explained this to you.” She ignored the offended sputtering coming from Enjin and swiftly moved on. “Restoration Day is one of the Ground’s bigger holidays. Of course, there are plenty of more localized celebrations or holidays that occur at different times and vary from region to region, but Restoration Day is one of the officially recognized ones that all regions celebrate. A lot of people are given the day off from work, us Cleaners included, aside from the select teams that are on-call in case of emergency. 

“As for why it’s celebrated…several generations ago, people were still struggling to find relatively stable places to live and establish cities where falling trash didn’t cause so much damage. But no matter where you were, there would always be something. So, eventually, efforts were organized to create the tall shields you see around the major cities today. This day was when many of them were finally completed, and regular-ish life without so much random debris falling on top of people’s heads was ‘restored’. Now it’s marked as a day to celebrate the safety and presence of your loved ones, and your own right to live. All of those major cities with shields up host celebrations to mark the occasion, too. You follow?”

Rudo nodded thoughtfully, taking that all in. “Yeah, I get it. Your own right to live… that’s really cool. I like that.” Semiu nodded in agreement. 

I wonder what other holidays they celebrate here, Rudo thought. Restoration Day is…so much better than—

“Aaaaand,” Riyo’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. He turned to face her to see her leaning forward on the table eagerly, eyes nearly sparkling. “We get to throw a party about it!”

Oh, now the decorating around here made more sense. He still didn’t know what they’d all gathered here for, though. “So what exactly are we doing right now?”

“Well,” Bro piped up from the other table, “Gris has got a big ol’ list of things we still need to run out and get from town to prepare for the party tonight, so we’re the lucky groups going out for that.” Gris lifted his hand to show the sheets of paper he was holding with a small grin and a wave. Guita, who’d been slumped forward on Team Child’s table next to Dear, looking rather bored, sat up to wave back enthusiastically, using her entire arm to do it. Bro shook his head fondly at her. Dear just leaned away from the hazard with a glare. 

“Well, now that we’re all here, we can split all the things we need between the two teams,” Gris said, looking down at his list now. “Team Akuta, since you’re the bigger group, you’ll be getting a bigger split of the tasks. And there’s no specific time for both teams to be back here, so you can explore the town all you like while you’re there, just as long as you’re not back too late. It’s early now, but we still need time to prepare for tonight’s party, and we need these things to do that. Sound good?”

Everyone made various noises or motions of agreement. Rudo nodded along with them. 

“Like Gris said, keep an eye on the time,” Semiu said. “And try to get your errands done first so that you have time to run around afterwards. Don’t get too distracted.” At this, she side-eyed first Guita and Dear, and then Rudo and Riyo. Rudo huffed in offense. It’s not like he could help it if something caught his eye and he wanted to check it out.

Gris came forward and handed one sheet of paper to Bro, and then approached the table where Team Akuta was sitting. He went to hand the second sheet of paper to Enjin, and then stopped with his hand half outstretched. He suddenly seemed to think better of it and pivoted to hand the paper over to Zanka, who blushed furiously at the clear show of faith but straightened up to accept it regardless. Enjin’s jaw dropped so far that Rudo half-wondered if it was about to fall right off and onto the floor. Follo whipped his head away from the scene, shoulders shaking in an effort to suppress his laughter. Riyo didn’t even try and bent forward over the table, cackling madly. 

“Wha— I— Gris, what the hell?!” Enjin finally sputtered. “What is this? I thought you loved me!”

“That doesn’t mean I trust you with the shopping list,” Gris smirked. “You’re just as easily distracted as the kids. I’m sure Follo and Zanka will need to babysit you just as much as them.”

“Hey!” Enjin, Riyo, and Rudo all complained. Gris raised a single eyebrow, and they all deflated, pouting. Rudo felt his eye twitch in embarrassed annoyance when he realized they were only proving Gris’ point. 

Thankfully, Semiu chose that moment to clap her hands sharply, bringing everyone’s attention back to her. “You’ve got your lists, don’t you? Go get on with it, you’re burning daylight.”

Enjin rolled his eyes, but pushed off the table to stand, regardless. “Yes, ma’am,” he drawled, giving her a lazy salute. She narrowed her eyes at him, and he snorted before waving his hands at the rest of the table to urge them up from their seats. “You heard the boss lady, let’s go.” 

Teams Child and Akuta ended up taking separate cars, since the way the tasks had been divided up would have one team on the opposite side of town from the other to cover more ground at once. Plus, that way they could wander around and head back to HQ at their own pace.

Rides sorted, Rudo turned to face Riyo once they’d reached their car in the garage, ready for battle. Riyo had already taken up a fighting stance, staring right back at him with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. 

The dreaded Battle For The Window Seat. 

As the shortest and youngest two members of Team Akuta, whenever they needed to squeeze just the five of them into a single car and the trunk wasn’t available for Riyo, somebody needed to take the middle back seat, and it was always going to be either Rudo or Riyo. So, obviously, the need to fight it out for the right to avoid it.

Riyo had lost the last time this happened. The look she’d given him then had promised nothing but revenge, and now she was directing that look at him again. Rudo swallowed nervously. 

No, stop it, he scolded himself. If I get nervous, I’ll lose. I need a clear mind, dammit!

Enjin leaned against the hood of the car to watch, already grinning. Follo stood next to him, lips twitching up at the corners. Zanka, clearly having already called dibs on shotgun, opened the passenger door to sit down and watch like this was some sort of show. 

This was serious, for Rudo and Riyo. The stakes were high for them. 

“You’re going down today, Rudo,” Riyo said, shooting him a terrifying smile. “You ready? Best out of three?”

“You’re on,” Rudo said, gritting his teeth and bracing himself. 

They both lifted their hands into position. There was a beat of total silence where they held eye contact, and then, like they’d been given a telepathic cue, they moved as one.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!”

“Oooooh,” Enjin and Follo both called when Rudo threw scissors and Riyo threw paper. They both ignored the peanut gallery with an ease that came with far too much practice. Riyo let out a quiet ‘tsk’ before grinning again. 

“Enjoy your fluke now, ‘cuz it’s not happening twice,” she said. 

“I’ll show you a fluke,” he retorted, and they raised their fists again. 

Riyo threw paper again. Rudo made the grave mistake of throwing rock. 

“That’s one-one,” Enjin shouted, and Rudo scowled while Riyo smirked.

“Final round!” Follo added. 

“Drumroll, guys, please,” Enjin said to his fellow audience members. Zanka rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his own amused smile, and he and Follo complied easily. Zanka tapped his feet on the ground while Follo chose to use Enjin’s arm as a drum, much to the man’s protest.

Rudo and Riyo squared up one more time. They didn’t bother with words this time, and simply stared each other down, deathly serious despite Riyo’s persistent grin. 

And then the moment snapped, and they smacked their fists down onto their open palms for the final chant. “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!”

There was a moment of silence as they threw their hands forward and everyone processed which one was the winner. Then—

“I WIN!” Riyo shrieked, pumping her fists in the air. “Take that, Rudo! I knew I’d get you back!” 

Rudo clutched at his hair with both hands in despair, groaning loudly. He pointed an accusing finger at her. “You cheated somehow! You found a way to cheat at Rock Paper Scissors, I just know it!”

“Nope, scissors beats paper, fair and square,” Zanka called, smirking at him. “It’s a game of luck, dumbass. There is no cheating.” 

“She found a way,” Rudo growled, glaring at his trainer now, and Enjin and Follo openly laughed at him. Rudo felt his face start to heat up in embarrassment, but before he could snap at them next, Riyo came up to him to mockingly pat him on the head. 

“Better luck next time,” she sing-songed with a winning grin. “Now get in the middle seat.” 

Rudo glared daggers at her one more time before he stomped his way over to the back door, which Enjin had oh-so-graciously opened for him with a little teasing bow. “After you, my liege,” he chuckled. Rudo shot him the middle finger without looking his way as he clambered inside with a huff. 

“Oh, stop being a drama queen,” Zanka scoffed, settling into his seat properly to slam the passenger door shut. “We’re literally just goin’ to town, ‘s not like we’re driving three hours away or something.” 

“You, telling someone to stop being a drama queen?” Rudo asked incredulously.

“What’d you just say, you little—”

“Aaaaand let’s nip that in the bud before you two spend the entire time squabbling!” Enjin interrupted cheerfully, sliding into the driver’s seat. They both grumbled, but didn’t argue. Follo and Riyo sat on either side of Rudo, and once all the doors were shut, Enjin started the car up, and in short order they were skidding out of the parking garage and into the daylight. 

It was only a few songs—blasted at full volume—later (Rudo absently wondered if they’d all go deaf sooner rather than later) that they arrived at the nearest town, and Enjin parked the car in the first lot he found. “Alright, my fellow errand boys and lady,” he said. “Ready to rumble?”

“I’ve got the list,” Zanka confirmed, pulling it out of one of his pockets. 

“I still can’t believe Gris didn’t trust me with a little piece of paper,” Enjin grumbled at the sight of it, and pushed his door open. The rest of them followed suit. 

And it honestly didn’t take that long to find all the things they needed, all things considered. They spent some time ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing at the way the town had been decorated, colorful streamers and fairy lights and dangling suncatchers breathing even more life than Rudo thought possible into the busy streets. Storefronts had been lovingly cleaned and dressed up for the occasion, and there were more street vendors around than Rudo had ever seen gathered in one place before, calling out to anyone that would listen. The smell of various street foods permeated the air in a way that had Rudo’s stomach wanting to growl. He fell behind the others more than once, trying to take it all in. Zanka ended up tugging him roughly back into motion by his shirt sleeve every time he noticed Rudo had paused to stare at something for too long, but didn’t snap at him the way he thought he might’ve for each interruption. 

Maybe the festive attitude’s infected him too, Rudo thought, and decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He tried his best to concentrate on their mission in return for the lenience, but it was difficult with so many new sights and sounds and smells everywhere. 

They split up a few times to hit multiple shops at once. Rudo, thoroughly amazed at something or other at any given time, automatically stuck to Zanka’s side, mindlessly following the white flash of the paper in his peripheral vision. He hardly noticed a poke or nudge guiding him along every now and again. 

He also barely noticed that he’d become the bag carrier until the weight started to become noticeable as they regrouped with everyone again after the latest split. 

“Hey, wait a minute,” he protested, finally bringing his full focus down to all the things he’d clearly been handed over time while he was distracted. Zanka wasn’t carrying a single shopping bag. “Zanka, you take some of these, too. It’s heavy.”

Zanka raised a single eyebrow at him as he held out the list for the other three to check off everything they’d just come back with. “That’s what ya get for keepin’ your head that deep in the clouds this entire time,” he said. Rudo frowned, a little perturbed at the realization that he’d been so out of it that he hadn’t noticed being directly handed so much stuff. 

“There’s too many things everywhere,” he said, more to himself than to Zanka. “It’s so cool, but also...”

He trailed off, struggling to find the right words to verbalize what he was feeling. A harsh sigh interrupted his thoughts before he could sink too deep into them again, and suddenly the weight in his arms was considerably lighter. “Pay more attention,” was all Zanka said, giving him a stern frown as he adjusted a few of the bags onto his own arms in a way that kept his hands free. Rudo stared back with wide eyes, a bit shocked that Zanka had just taken some of the load without much of a fight. Is this really Zanka, he thought, or some kind of imposter?

“We’re almost done,” Follo said, checking one more thing off before he handed the list back to Zanka. “There’s, like, three more things on there, and it’s all baking ingredients. Let’s just go all together for the last of it.” 

And so they went. By the time they left the bakery, most of their arms were tiring from such an extended time carrying so many bags. Except for Zanka, of course, who hadn’t been carrying anything for nearly as long. 

“Let’s drop all of this stuff off in the car,” Enjin huffed, shifting his arms uncomfortably. “It’s not that far from where we are. And then we’re free to run around as much as we want, finally.”

The walk back to the car was awful. Something about knowing it was the final stretch made the weight feel that much heavier, and when they finally, finally made it back, and the trunk was popped open, the entire group (minus Zanka) practically fell forward to dump all their spoils into the back of the car. Zanka himself just let out a quiet breath of amusement and rolled his eyes before placing his own bags with the others. 

“How come you look so normal?” Follo complained, shaking his arms out at his sides as Enjin slammed the trunk closed again. He narrowed his eyes at Zanka. “There’s just no way that carrying those bags for so long didn’t make your arms tired at least a little bit.”

Zanka turned his head away, but not before everyone caught the smirk he was trying to hide. “That’s ‘cuz Rudo kindly volunteered to carry all of it for most’a the time we were out shoppin’.”

Enjin, Follo, and Riyo all turned to Rudo, equal looks of disbelief painted all over their faces. Rudo scowled fiercely, heat rising to his cheeks. “He’s lying outta his ass. I was distracted, and he took advantage to turn me into his bag carrier.”

Now all eyebrows rose, and Rudo’s cheeks burned hotter than ever. Before he had the chance to bark another defense at them, though, Enjin snorted. “That’s what you get, then,” he said, mirroring Zanka’s smirk. “Maybe I should keep an eye out for when you’re distracted, too. I could always use the help.”

“Like hell you will!” Rudo snapped. “Try it, see what happens. I’ll throw everything back at your face, you turd.”

Now everyone was snickering at his expense. It’s like they were trying to make him blow a fuse. He took a deep breath, held it for a second, and then released it in an explosive sigh. “Are we going back to explore or aren’t we?” he grumbled, turning and making to walk away. 

A familiar arm dropped over his shoulders, and he grunted at the added weight. “Aw, we’re just teasing, Rudo,” Riyo said, dragging his head down to ruffle his hair roughly. He shouted wordlessly in offense and ducked away from her, flailing his arms to smack her hands away. He glared at her as she snickered some more, and they continued on their path back into town. 

“It’s too easy to rile you up, you know,” said Follo, who had apparently caught up and was suddenly on Rudo’s other side. He looked like he was still trying to hold back on his own laughter, and Rudo narrowed his eyes at him. “Relax a little. No one’s judging you for taking in the sights, it’s just funny how lost you get in it. Maybe try keeping some part of you aware of your surroundings, though, huh?” 

Rudo grumbled, but didn’t argue the point. He could hear Enjin and Zanka behind them, having their own conversation, as they came up on the bustling streets again. 

This time around, there was no reason for anyone to hold back on their whims. The group followed each other around, stopping to explore interests and just enjoying the cheerful scene. The whole thing was such a baffling change of pace from everything he’d seen on the Ground so far, Rudo thought. He couldn’t get over it. People everywhere were smiling so brightly, laughing, talking, shouting. The streets had only gotten more packed over time, not less. Rudo saw entire groups of friends and families enjoying the holiday outside of their homes. 

It couldn’t be more different from the Sphere’s biggest holiday. Restoration Day was like the antithesis of Purification Day. He couldn’t believe he was allowed to witness this. 

Lost in thought once again without meaning to be, Rudo accidentally bumped into Follo’s back with a startled oof when everyone stopped just in front of him. Follo, without missing a beat, wrapped an arm around his shoulders to drag him over to his side without even looking. 

“—could eat something,” Zanka was saying, Riyo nodding eagerly next to him. She was holding a small shopping bag again, from when they’d followed her into a store full of interesting trinkets and she’d indulged in some hair accessories, rambling about new hairstyles she wanted to try. Rudo, personally, was a fan of some of the shiny metal hairpins and clips she’d chosen. 

“It’d have to be to go,” Enjin said, shooting a glance at the clouded sky. Rudo briefly thought he was checking for the sun’s position and looked up to find it as well, before he remembered where he was and the realization hit him like a shock of cold water. 

Right. There was no sun to find, anymore. People on the Ground must be used to guessing the time based on the brightness and color of the light filtering through the clouds, nothing more. He’d have to pick up on that skill, too. 

Something deep in his chest ached like he’d pressed harshly on a fresh bruise. He tried to shake it away and focus on the ongoing conversation. 

“We’ve been in town for a few hours, by now, between the shopping and wandering around,” Enjin was saying. 

“They didn’t give us a specific time limit,” Riyo pointed out.

“Sure, but I dunno about you guys, but I don’t want Semiu and Gris breathing down my neck because we took longer to get back than they would’ve liked.” Enjin shuddered dramatically. Everyone else collectively winced at the thought. 

“Yeah, okay, maybe I see your point,” Riyo conceded, shuddering like Enjin had. “Let’s get something to go and get out of here.” 

They decided on sandwiches. There was a vote involved in the process of choosing what to eat that Rudo didn’t bother to participate in. He wasn’t picky, and he’d found that he enjoyed most things the Ground had to offer, anyway. Sometimes the others tried to get him to pick something to eat when they went out, on a job or otherwise, but aside from sweets, he never really knew what he’d want, so. It was always a bit of a painstaking process. This time, they let him be, thankfully.

“You know what you want?” Follo asked him when they were standing in line at the little hole-in-the-wall shop that Enjin had picked out. Rudo squinted at the menu on the far wall for a bit, thinking, but ultimately just shrugged. 

“I’ll get whatever you get,” he said simply. Follo blinked at him. 

“Just like that?”

“Yeah? Why, you plannin’ on getting something gross on purpose?”

“Well, no, but don’t you have any sort of preference?”

Rudo shrugged again. “I don’t know, it’s hard to pick. ‘Sides, I’ll eat most anything, so.”

Follo considered him for a moment, which Rudo met with a confused look of his own. He didn’t understand why this was always some sort of big deal. After another second, Follo looked away to face the front again with a shrug of his own. Again, Rudo decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and didn’t ask what the questioning was about. “Alright,” Follo said. “Lemme think. I haven’t even decided yet, either.”

They got burgers. Rudo was definitely not complaining. 

The walk back to the car was full of chatter, speculating what the other cleaners would be preparing or cooking up for that night’s party. Rudo had no idea what to expect for that. His only frame of reference for Cleaner parties was the party they’d thrown for him when he first joined, plus a few birthday parties, which varied in how they were celebrated. He’d been surprised to learn just how different everyone’s preferences were for celebrating their birthdays. A lot of people just took the day off to celebrate with their own family and friends elsewhere, but there were a few people who chose to stay at HQ and host a party. Even then, some of those were more relaxed, while others had a more lively atmosphere. 

Rudo didn’t think he’d ever stop being fascinated by how different everything on the Ground was from the Sphere. He never knew what to expect for anything. 

“Don’t drop crumbs all over the car!” Enjin yelped once they’d all reclaimed their seats in the car, and Riyo wasted no time tearing into her food. She waved him off wordlessly, taking another giant bite of her sandwich before looking up. 

“I’m stahving,” she said, voice muffled through the food in her mouth. Enjin dragged a hand over his face. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, either. What happened to manners?”

“Manners, shmanners,” Riyo said, after swallowing her mouthful. “It’s not like you have them, either.”

“Hey! I resent that, I have plenty of manners.” Enjin sniffed. “And if you get this car dirty, you’re gonna be the one cleaning it up. I refuse to be chewed out by the Supporters again because of you slobs. You’re getting thrown under the bus like you deserve.” 

“The rest of us haven’t even touched our food, Enjin,” Zanka deadpanned. “Keep our names outta yer mouth.” 

“My point stands, okay? If you can’t wait until we get back, at least be clean about it. Like proper Cleaners.” He chuckled at his own joke. Everyone gave him dry looks. “Jeez, tough crowd. You must be hangry. Let’s go home.” 

The journey back to HQ was spent much the same way as the way to town, though Zanka managed to win the battle over the volume of the music before Enjin could blow all their eardrums out. Rudo sent a mental thank-you his way. The excitement of the past couple of hours was starting to catch up to him, and the normal volume the radio was kept at with Enjin at the wheel would’ve been a bit much for him. 

“No crumbs,” Riyo said, raising her hands innocently as she stepped out of the car once they’d parked in the garage again. Enjin narrowed his eyes at her over the hood. “I swear! Rudo, back me up.”

“Huh?” Rudo startled, just starting to make his way out after her. He looked over his shoulder at the car seats and the floor. Huh. He actually didn’t see anything. “No, she’s right. No crumbs.”

“I’m too lazy to actually check,” Enjin said, “but if either of you two are lying to me and I hear about it later, I’m banning sweets for you both for a week.” 

Icy panic shot through Rudo at the declaration, and he ducked his head into the car again to double-check. No, he really didn’t see anything out of place. Which, honestly, was impressive. It was hard to eat a sandwich without leaving at least some crumbs behind. “There’s really nothing,” he said, shutting the door after ducking back out. Riyo smirked triumphantly at Enjin, who rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide a small smile of his own. 

“Okay, if you say so,” he said. “Now all of you help me with the goods. The sooner we deliver it, the sooner the rest of us who have a modicum of patience can eat.” Riyo stuck her tongue out at him, and he snorted. 

Follo popped the trunk open, and all the bags were distributed again in short order. After that, it didn’t take long to make the trip back over to the mess hall, where Gris was overseeing some other Supporters in the kitchen. Semiu was nowhere in sight. She must be busy somewhere else. 

“Got the spoils!” Enjin called over in Gris’ direction, while they all set their bags down on some tables. Gris brightened when he looked over in their direction, and he left the kitchen to come greet them all. 

“Great work, guys,” Gris said cheerfully, reaching out to ruffle the nearest person’s hair, which happened to be Follo. “Team Child got back around an hour ago, Bro just went to put Dear down for a nap and hopefully get Guita to do the same.” He shook his head amusedly at the thought. “If you ask me, she was still looking incredibly hyperactive. She’s either going to crash or be jumping off the walls no matter what Bro does.”

“I love Bro, really I do,” Enjin said, grimacing, “but every day I’m so fucking grateful that I’m not him.” Gris snorted.

“Well, I’m starved.” Zanka suddenly announced, clearly having had enough of waiting around. “Follow me or don’t, but I’m not gonna eat in here while there’s all this goin’ on. Don’t wanna get in the way.” With that, he spun around, his own wrapped sandwich in hand, and started to walk away. 

If nothing else, Rudo agreed with eating somewhere else, too. He’d had enough of noisy environments for the moment, and the mess hall was bustling with people getting things ready for the night’s festivities. He hurried to catch up to Zanka before he could get too far away.

“Hey, wait up, we’re gonna join you, guys!” Enjin called after them, and groaned when they didn’t even pause. 

“You mind if I join you guys too?” Rudo heard Gris ask Enjin behind him. “I could use a quick break.”

He didn’t hear anyone’s response, because by then, he and Zanka had reached the doors, and Zanka was holding the door open behind him for Rudo to slip through before he let it shut. 

“Thanks,” Rudo said quietly in the sudden silence. Zanka nodded his acknowledgement before walking off down the corridor. He fell into step next to his mentor, warily enjoying the peace between them for once. 

“Where are we going?” He asked curiously.

“Lounge room nearby,” Zanka replied. “Will prob’ be empty, since everyone’s out doing somethin’ or other.” 

Rudo heard the large mess hall doors crack open again some distance behind them, and the voices of the others echoed down the hall as they chatted on their way out after them. 

Light footsteps ran up behind them, and before Rudo could turn his head, an arm was being thrown around his neck again. He turned to see that it was Riyo, of course, who had come up to lean on both him and Zanka as they walked. 

“Impatient, are we?” She grinned. Rudo and Zanka gave her identical looks of disbelief.

“Ya literally already ate your own food before the rest of us,” Zanka said incredulously, and shrugged her arm off. “You have no room to call us impatient.”

Riyo just waved him off. “Potato, po-tah-to,” she said. “Where are we going, the lounge?” 

“Yes,” Zanka huffed, as they came up on the door to their destination. Riyo let go of Rudo to skip ahead and shove the door open, sweeping an arm in grandiose fashion like she was welcoming them into the room. 

“After you,” she said, faux-seriously. Zanka rolled his eyes and strolled inside with his chin held high, and Rudo thought absently that he really did walk around like some sort of celebrity sometimes. 

He locked eyes with Riyo as he followed Zanka in, and amusement bubbled up in his chest with the sudden understanding that they were thinking the same thing. Riyo coughed unconvincingly to cover up her own sudden laughter.

It seemed that she knew that Zanka might catch on to her laughing at him, too, because as soon as Rudo passed her, she was leaning half her body into the hallway to call out to the remainder of their group. “Catch up already, you slowpokes!” she yelled. 

“Let us walk in peace, gremlin!” Rudo heard Enjin yell back. “We are literally like ten paces behind you, damn.”

Zanka had settled at one of the tables to dig into his food. Rudo opted for one of his usual spots, down on the ground in front of one of the lower tables, where he often ended up drawing with the other Cleaner kids and Remlin. He, like Zanka, wasted no time tearing into his own burger. He’d waited long enough. 

In fact, his quest to sate his hunger took over so thoroughly that he didn’t notice the arrival of the others until Riyo slumped over dramatically on the table next to him. He started in surprise, and when he looked up, Gris and Follo were sitting on the couch opposite him and Riyo, and Enjin had parked himself at Zanka’s little table. Zanka, of course, looked much livelier with Enjin nearby. 

“I’m so bored,” Riyo groaned next to him, bringing some of his attention back to her. The rest of it went to eating again, albeit a bit slower than before. 

“That sounds like a you problem,” Rudo said, between mouthfuls. 

“Even if I was eating with the rest of you I’d be bored,” she pouted. “After seeing the town I’m way too hyped for the party later. I wish I could turn time forward and be there already.”

“Speaking of town,” Gris cut in, straightening. “It was your first time seeing it all decked out like that, right, Rudo? What’d you think?”

“It was so cool,” Rudo said, perking up like Gris had. The memories played like a film reel behind his eyes, a blur of color that he never could have imagined before. “I’ve never seen anything like that before, not once. There was so much color and so many people and they were all so excited. And there were so many street food vendors that it always smelled good, too.” He waved a hand around enthusiastically as he talked, forgetting the rest of his sandwich altogether. There wasn’t much left, anyway. “Is it really like that every year?”

“Pretty much,” Follo said, smiling at him like he was amazed at Rudo’s level of excitement. “And that’s just that town. You should see how some of the bigger cities get, like Canvas Town. They really know how to throw parties.”

Rudo’s eyes felt like they’d pop out of his head, trying to imagine how much more there could possibly be out there that he hadn’t seen yet. “Whoa,” he breathed. “I wanna see that, someday.”

“You didn’t have any holidays like this up there?” Riyo asked him, propping an elbow up on the table and leaning her face on her palm, facing him. She pointed straight up with her other hand, clearly referring to the Sphere. 

“Nothing like this,” Rudo said emphatically, gesturing vaguely even though this room wasn’t decorated like the mess hall or the town. They’d get the point. “Nothing that I’ve seen with decorations like you guys have here. Nothing so…colorful. And cheerful. Everyone out there today looked so… actually happy.”

“What do you mean?” Gris asked, with the smallest furrow in his brow. 

“Well,” Rudo floundered a bit, realizing suddenly how that had sounded and trying to backpedal. “Big, public celebrations like that mostly just happened in the rich part of the City, back on the Sphere…and even then, the color palette kinda stayed in the whites and golds ranges, I think. The Ground has so much more life than the City did.”

“Did both sides of the Sphere celebrate the same stuff, even if the rich people had all the decorations?” Riyo asked curiously, idly tapping the fingers of her free hand on the table. 

“Kind…of,” Rudo said slowly. This was starting to tread closer to treacherous waters, to memories that he hadn’t expected to relive any further than brief flashbacks today. 

There was a beat of awkward silence in which the other three clearly expected him to elaborate. When he didn’t, mostly because he wasn’t sure how to start, Follo jolted as if he’d just remembered something important. 

“Is this okay for us to ask about, Rudo?” he asked. “You don’t have to talk about the Sphere if you don’t want to.” Riyo’s mouth dropped open in a silent little oh before she vehemently nodded in agreement. 

“I mean, no, it’s fine, I probably should’ve expected it,” Rudo said quickly. “We’re just talking about holidays, it’s relevant.”

“Still,” Gris said. “We can just talk about something else.”

“I don’t really care, honestly,” Rudo said. “It’s just not…I know you guys get curious, like I do about the Ground. You can ask, just the answers might not always be very nice. But you can ask.”

“If you’re sure…” Riyo hummed skeptically. “I know I’ve said this before, but remember you can just tell us to fuck off if we’re pushing or if you don’t wanna talk about something.” Gris and Follo both nodded along as she spoke. He even saw Enjin and Zanka do the same out of the corner of his eye, which is when he realized they’d stopped their own conversation to listen in, much to his embarrassment. 

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled, heat rising to his cheeks at all the attention. “Just ask your questions already. I know you’ve got them, Riyo, you always do.”

“Hey, I resent that,” she said, raising her head from her hand slightly to shoot him a narrow-eyed look. “Sue a girl for being curious, okay? But I guess on that note, I was wondering…what’s the most important holiday the Sphere’s got? Since Restoration Day is one of the Ground’s most important ones.”

Rudo hesitated, thinking his answer over. If he was being totally honest with himself, he didn’t actually want to talk about this. Not because it was some horrific thing or anything, even though it was pretty bad, but because he didn’t want to bring the mood down. It’d been such a good day so far. Everyone was in high spirits. Hell, Zanka had been nicer to him than usual. And this was sort of a depressing topic, no matter how he tried to spin it. The first holiday that came to mind at that question wasn’t exactly ever a happy time for him. 

But they’d shared this part of their own culture with him, and he wanted to return the favor in some way. An exchange, of sorts. 

“Purification Day,” he finally said. “Definitely Purification Day.”

Everyone in the room wrinkled their noses in distaste immediately. “Well, if that doesn’t sound cultish, I don’t know what does,” Enjin said, flapping a hand in front of his nose like he’d smelled something rotten. Rudo could empathize. He huffed in dry amusement. 

“You wouldn’t really be wrong,” Rudo said. “Except it was sort of Sphere-wide, so.”

“What’d you mean when you said ‘kind of’, then, earlier, when Riyo asked if both sides celebrated the same thing?” Follo asked next. 

“Well, they don’t always,” Rudo clarified. “The City tends to have more celebrations in general than we did in the slums. And even then, both sides of the Sphere celebrated Purification Day kinda differently. The City had it—better, I guess? If you could call it that. They…they enjoyed it more, that’s a better way to put it, I think.”

“What was it about, then?” Zanka asked, furrowing his brows. “What even is it?”

Rudo pursed his lips, fighting down a sudden trace of nausea. He hated thinking about it. Even if he’d never seen anything of the actual holiday in person, he hated it. The idea itself was vile.

“Sort of what it sounds like, I guess,” he mumbled bitterly. He curled in on himself just a little to stare down at his gloves, which were resting on the table. He couldn’t look at the remains of his sandwich anymore. The thought of eating anything was making him queasy. “They called it a day of new beginnings. Starting anew, getting rid of all the waste—” he spat the word like poison— “and purifying yourself and your surroundings for a fresh, clean start. It happened once a year.”

“So kind of like New Year’s, but more fucked up,” Riyo said, tapping her chin in thought.

“New Year’s?” Rudo asked, temporarily snapped out of his souring thoughts in favor of the new term. Riyo waved him off lightly.

“I’ll tell you all about it later. In fact, I’ll give you a crash course in all the Ground holidays I can think of, since Enjin failed pretty hard at teaching you anything.”

“Hey,” Enjin called. “Enough bullying me about that, already.”

“Never,” Riyo returned.

“Wait, so, Rudo,” Gris quietly called for his attention while Enjin and Riyo started to loudly bicker away. “I can imagine that day was sort of a time for everyone to throw things off the Sphere en masse, right? People just purged everything?”

Rudo scowled fiercely. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Even in the slums…the streets wouldn’t be as cluttered as they normally were, after Purification Day.”

In more ways than one, he thought. 

“That kind of tracks,” Gris leaned forward on the couch to rest his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and looking down at them as he thought. “Since there’s also a day down here that’s like the opposite of Restoration Day. Where the Sphere drops a tremendous amount of trash on us, much more than usual, and it’s a bit unpredictable sometimes to tell where the Sphere will be, so people are generally advised to stay indoors. We just call it the annual trash storm. Not very creative, but it works.”

A small part of Rudo’s heart went cold. “Oh,” was all he managed. Yeah, that does make sense, he thought, a little numbly. It’d almost be funny, if it wasn’t so disgusting. The timing of it all. Most of the Sphere celebrating, while down on the Ground…

They have to be shut away. Like me.

“Wait,” Follo suddenly exclaimed, sitting up straighter in his seat next to Gris. Enjin and Riyo (and Zanka, who had joined in with their bickering at some point) stopped their faux-argument to listen in again at the tone of his voice. “But with the annual trash storm, isn’t there also a higher amount of…”

Heads slowly turned to face Rudo again, and Rudo felt that little piece of dread in his chest spread across his entire body, leaving icy trails in place of the blood in his veins. 

“...bodies?” Follo finished. “There are always more Sphereite bodies discovered around that time of year, aren’t there?”

“There…are,” Enjin said, squinting a little at Rudo when he didn’t respond. “You okay, kid?”

“I’m fine,” Rudo said automatically, before shaking his head harshly in an attempt to regain feeling in his limbs. “I’m fine,” he said again, this time actually trying to sound like he meant it. “Just—yeah. Yeah, I guess you would always find bodies around that time of year.” He ran a hand through his hair, trying to fight off the disgust and instinctual anxiety roiling in his gut. 

“Yeah, so, not to press any more on that or anything, but that’s concerning as all hell, man,” Enjin said. And, if it were at all possible for Rudo, he probably would have started laughing incredulously at that statement. 

“Yeah, no shit,” he retorted. “Why d’you think I never saw any festivities up there? Even if the slums were able to decorate or just party, Regto never let me out of the house, those days.” 

Silence. 

Shit. Too much.

“Why’s that, Rudo?” Gris asked him carefully, before he could try to backtrack. 

Double shit.

He knew that he could tell them that he wanted to change the subject. He knew that. All it would take was one request, and the others would find something else to yammer on about, simple as that. 

But, at this point…wouldn’t they just end up even more concerned if he left them on that note? He didn’t want to do that to his…what? Coworkers? Friends? Follo was the latter, at least, though he’d like to think he’d reached that point with everyone else, too. 

And maybe he’d grown to trust everyone in this room much more than he’d ever anticipated. Much, much more than he could have predicted, because his mouth was moving again before he could really think it through. 

“It’s never just objects that the Sphere is determined to purge, on Purification Day,” he started, and by the tight look on everyone’s faces, they knew where he was going to go with this. To some extent, at least. “They throw at least one person into the Pit every single year. Like they have some fucked quota to hit. Just because, to them, it’s symbolic,” he spat. “They’ll keep some petty criminal or two in custody in the weeks leading up to it just to have someone to execute publicly. The more, the better, too, so the streets would crawl with Apostles looking for anyone with even a hair out of place.”

“Shit,” Follo said, wincing. “That’s horrible.”

Rudo nodded curtly. “And for me and Regto…” he paused to bring his hands into his lap under the table when he felt his fingers start to tremble without his input. He squeezed them into fists, willing himself not to falter now that he’d started this whole thing. “I was pretty universally hated,” he said, determinedly avoiding looking at anyone so he wouldn’t have to see their expressions. “For a few different reasons. On any normal day, there wasn’t enough evidence of anything for them to justify tossing me off the island. On or around Purification Day, that wouldn’t matter. The sight of me would be enough. They’d kill me, because to them, I embody the very definition of filth.”

Something like indescribable rage, hot and molten and inescapable, started its slow crawl from the words leaking from his mouth to his lungs, to his heart, his bones, his marrow. It bled through into his bloodstream and made him burn in his entirety. Lava slid invisibly across his skin and sank in, and he couldn’t believe he’d ever felt cold when this feeling could exist. He burned, and the heat was too much for any body of flesh and blood to handle. His voice felt like ash. The fury raked fiery claws in so deeply that he knew his insides had charred from the white-hot intensity, and the sounds spilling from his lips were just smoke. 

Rage and disgust and paralyzing fear and guilt so potent that he went right back around to nothing at all. 

His hands, still held in tight fists, shook in his lap. Nobody said a word. He still couldn’t look up.

“Regto had to keep me indoors for days, every year. A few weeks, if people were acting aggressively enough. They hated him, too, y’know, just because he’d taken me in. So sometimes we needed to stock up on what we could and hide out, like we were preparing for a harsh winter or something, because they might have come after him, too. On Purification Day itself, though, he’d always stay at home with me. Always, no matter how everyone had been acting towards him that year. He never said anything, but I think it was because everyone was just as willing to throw him into the Pit on that day as they were me.” 

“Rudo…” Gris said quietly. Rudo clenched his jaw and waited for the pity, the disgust. He waited for them to tell him that the Sphereites had been right, that he was nothing but trouble and a waste. 

He laid his ugliness out bare for them to see and to judge. He waited for them to wonder what he had done that was so awful that an entire people could despise him, like he hadn’t wondered the same all his life. He let this truth fester in the air, and he waited for them to finally see him for what he was. He waited for them to see the filth, the rot, the infection that had somehow been overlooked the entire time he’d been here with them. He waited for the gavel to drop. He could feel it, hanging over his head like a guillotine that hummed with anticipation.

It never fell. 

A tattooed hand entered his line of sight slowly, slowly. It was still unexpected enough that he couldn’t stop the small flinch that escaped him, and the hand stopped for a moment before resuming its journey. Rudo tracked it carefully until it hovered just over one of his shaking hands. 

When he finally regained the courage to look up, Enjin was there, sitting next to him on the ground to his left and watching him with something careful and calculating, but not pitying, in his gaze that had Rudo’s shoulders dropping just a fraction automatically. His hand didn’t move, held a steady inch above Rudo’s, and Rudo could see the silent question in Enjin’s eyes. He’d seen this look before.

Are you here? Can you see that I’m here? Will you let me help?

He knew that if he shook his head, Enjin would pull back and try something else. He wouldn’t insist. He wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t stop trying to reach him, but he’d find another way that Rudo could accept. 

Rudo took a moment to try to steady his breathing. He didn’t know when it’d gotten so shallow. 

And then he slowly, slowly, unclenched his left hand and lifted it that one inch to Enjin’s. 

Yes, I’m here. Yes, I see you. Yes, you can help.

Enjin telegraphed every movement as he carefully moved to hold Rudo’s hand in his own. He didn’t do anything else. He didn’t grip, he didn’t squeeze his hand, he didn’t drop it. He just…held on. A light but steady pressure, an anchor. 

Rudo breathed in the echoing silence. 

“Back with us?” Enjin asked, after long enough that the lava in his veins had cooled enough to let the ash settle. Rudo looked up at him, startled. 

“Was I not?” Rudo asked him, and looked around the room to catalogue the state of it. Everyone was mostly in the same spots that he last remembered them being in. The only differences were Enjin, obviously, since he’d clearly crossed the room at some point to sit by Rudo, and Riyo, who had moved from her own spot at his right to sit cross-legged on the couch just behind, ever-so-slightly farther away. She’d moved to give him breathing room. She’d clearly seen something to make her think he needed it. 

He was simultaneously glad for it and a bit sick. He’d been dissociated. He’d dumped all of that at his friends’ feet and then dissociated. For how long? 

A minuscule squeeze of his hand, barely enough added pressure to be noticeable, brought Rudo’s attention back to Enjin. “Lost you for a second there,” he said lightly, with a little wry grin. “Not long. Just a few minutes,” he added, answering Rudo’s unasked question. He released the tense breath he’d been holding. Just a few minutes. He’d take small mercies; it could have been much worse.

“Sorry,” Rudo mumbled to the room at large, ducking his head again. His eyes fell on his hand in Enjin’s, and he gave his own tiny squeeze back before he let his hand fall away. Enjin let him go without protest and leaned back on his hands, the very picture of casual ease. It’d be more effective if Rudo didn’t know it was a front. Enjin’s gaze was too sharp. He could feel it even without directly looking at him. 

“Don’t apologize,” Gris said calmly but firmly. “You did nothing wrong.” Rudo winced, and Gris’ tone only grew firmer. “Hey, I mean it, Rudo. Those experiences were anything but pleasant, and we all know what it’s like not to be able to control your own reaction to reliving memories like that.”  

Rudo cautiously raised his head, and found no trace of the disgust or pity he’d been expecting from anyone. All he could see was a mixture of concern and care and solemn seriousness that he didn’t know how to handle. 

He didn’t really know why he’d been expecting anything else, now that he really thought about it. Too caught up in his own head, he guessed. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the idea that people other than Regto could feel any sort of care for him. It was still baffling, despite everything they’d done for him already. 

Movement from the corner of his vision snapped him back to the present once more, and he turned his head to see Enjin raising his arm, moving in a way that gave Rudo time to reject it if he wanted to. He didn’t. Enjin’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and he pulled Rudo into his side in an almost playful motion with a small quirk of his lips. 

“We’re here for you, kid, remember? We have each other’s backs. Drill that into your head already.” He poked the side of Rudo’s head lightly before ruffling his hair, and it was like with that action he’d popped the balloon of tension taking up all the room in Rudo’s chest and weighing heavy in the air. It leaked away enough that Rudo felt himself sag further into Enjin’s side, and the arm around his shoulders gave him a gentle squeeze in response. Rudo only huffed a breath as he gathered the words to speak again. 

Riyo beat him to it. “Those entitled sky people didn’t deserve you anyway,” she wrinkled her nose. Follo nodded in agreement, and Rudo even saw Zanka nod once, too. He wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t just hallucinated that. “You’re a much better person than any of them could ever be.”

“You shouldn’t have needed to literally hide every single year,” Follo added, frowning. “That’s not right.” Rudo only shrugged.

“It’s just how it was,” he said, matter-of-factly, and Follo’s frown intensified. 

“Well, it won’t be like that here,” Zanka cut in, surprising him. He didn’t look at Rudo as he spoke. “As I’m sure ya gathered from town earlier. We’re celebratin’ for real, and you're celebratin’ with us.”

Something warm bloomed in Rudo’s chest. A tiny flickering flame, growing larger bit by bit from the ashes that had settled in his heart. Warm but not scorching. Light, not overwhelming heat. 

“He’s right,” Gris said, smiling softly. “Now we can show you what a real holiday looks like. It’s going to be lots of good fun.”

“I believe you,” Rudo said, thinking of the genuine joy he’d seen everybody enjoying up until this point, and Gris’ smile widened. He felt Enjin’s hand ruffle his hair again, and turned his head to see him grinning too.

There was a certain ice-cold terror that came hand in hand with this warm, tentative feeling he wasn’t sure how to name. He wanted to cup it in his hands and shelter it, hide it away so that nothing could rip it away from him again. He felt like he was freezing and thawing at the same time, like that tiny candle flame was keeping the frigid winds of his memories just enough at bay that the warmth was nearly overwhelming in comparison. He had to manually remind himself how to breathe properly around all of it. 

It helped that Enjin was apparently a living furnace, too, actually. It was warm where he leaned against him.

“Speaking of,” Riyo suddenly straightened, leaning forward eagerly where she sat. “Gris, do you know where Amo is? I bet this is all new to her, too, so I want both her and Rudo to really enjoy this.”

Rudo perked up at that too. He hadn’t thought of that. He and Amo were similar in an alarmingly large amount of ways, and they were constantly finding more things to experience for the very first time together. He hadn’t considered that this would be another one of them. 

Gris leaned back on his own couch, thinking for a moment. “Last I heard, she was helping Semiu with the reception hall. If she’s not still there, she might be taking a break of her own.” 

“Let’s clean up, then,” Follo said, gathering up the empty wrappings of his own burger left on the low table and prompting everybody else into movement. Rudo made to do the same—as much as he hated it, his appetite had firmly left him, so he had to throw out what little was left of his own food—but another light squeeze of his shoulders stopped him before he could move. He glanced at Enjin, trying to convey his confusion without words.

“Alright?” Enjin asked him quietly, while everyone else was distracted with their own chatter. 

The candle flame burned a little warmer, a little brighter. The cold front around the edges of his mind melted back a little further.

“Yeah,” he said, matching Enjin’s volume. “Thanks.”

He wished he could convey the true weight of his gratitude in that one simple word. It would never be enough. He was grateful for so many things at once that he didn’t think any of them actually found the room to show in his tone. The weight of all of it held his tongue down, and he couldn’t say anything more.

Enjin must have heard something, though, or seen something in his expression, because he let out a small chuckle, giving his head one more pat before he tugged them both to their feet, steadying Rudo before he could so much as stumble. “‘Course, kid. Now go have some more fun already.” And he smoothly walked the few steps away to join the new conversation between Gris and Follo like he’d been there all along. Rudo caught sight of Riyo waving an arm wildly at him to get his attention from where she was standing by the door, and he quickly gathered up his own trash and disposed of it in the nearest trash can before moving over there. Zanka was leaning on the wall by the other side of the door, looking for all the world like he was already done with them all except for the fact that he was still there, waiting. Rudo didn’t comment. 

“C’mon, c’mon!” Riyo urged him. “If we don’t hurry then Amo really will go on break if she isn’t already, and then it’ll be so freaking hard to find her. She’s taken to wandering around HQ in her free time lately to explore all the places she hasn’t seen yet, so it’d take forever to track her down.”

Ah. That explained the rush. 

“Meet us in the mess hall once you find her,” Gris called after the three of them, as Riyo opened the door. “You can help us with baking the desserts.”

“Is recruiting Rudo for that really the best idea?” Zanka asked, a slow smirk starting to spread across his face. “His ass would prob’ly eat it all before it even made it in the oven.”

“Hey!” Rudo barked indignantly. “That is not true—“

“Well, it’s sort of a valid concern—“ Follo started, and they all devolved into lighthearted bickering again until Riyo had to physically grab and tug both Rudo and Zanka out the door to go find Amo. 

He was so warm. He didn’t know being this pleasantly warm was possible after the destruction his internal blizzard and volcanic eruption had wrought on him. The candle flame had found a way to dance on top of cooled rock and ash and smoke, and he had no idea how it was doing that, he had no idea how it was able to beat away the stubborn snowstorm that wanted to cling to him, but he was going to hold on to it with both hands until he physically couldn’t anymore. 

It was so overwhelming. He never wanted this feeling to end. 

And they were all right. Restoration Day was so much better than Purification Day. 

It was fun, Rudo and Amo both confided in each other, much later, once the festivities had wound down at the end of the night and it was late enough that unfiltered honesty came easy. Neither of them had ever known that it was possible for a holiday to be fun. 

They loved it. 

“Regto?” Rudo hesitantly called to his caretaker, as he was sitting up on the couch and marveling a little at the fact that he was able to do that right now when he’d been immobilized by his arms earlier. He idly swung his legs a bit—they weren’t even close to reaching the ground—and waited until Regto had turned to him, approached, and crouched down to be closer to his level, smiling patiently, to ask his question. “How come you said we’re gonna stay home for a few days?”

He’d seen Regto come home earlier, laden with more food than they usually managed to scrounge up, and Rudo had no idea how he had done that but he thought that maybe Regto could do anything. Regto had greeted him on the way in and then told him that they were “camping out” for a while. Rudo hadn’t questioned it in the moment, he’d been pinned to the couch by the pain in his arms and too out of it, but he didn’t know what Regto had meant and now the agony had let up just enough for him to be curious. 

Regto’s smile faltered, but the downward twitch of his lips was there and gone so quickly that Rudo didn’t know if it’d even happened at all. He was probably imagining the little spark of sadness in his eyes, too. Regto was still smiling at him, so how could he be sad? It wouldn’t make sense. 

“Well,” Regto said, moving to fully sit cross-legged on the ground in front of him and groaning like an old man as he settled. Fizzy amusement popped like soap bubbles in his chest, but he couldn’t make his face work to show it aside from scrunching his eyes a little. Regto shook his head fondly at Rudo as if he had laughed anyway. “Shush, you.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Rudo exclaimed, as loud as the pain would allow his voice to go. It was never very much, but he was being shown a bit more mercy than usual at the moment. Regto chuckled and raised a large, calloused hand to run it through Rudo’s hair playfully, making Rudo’s head shake side to side with the motions. “Stooooop,” he complained, and Regto finally complied after an extra moment. “Answer my question.” Regto raised an eyebrow. “Please,” he added quickly, remembering a recent lecture about manners that Regto had given him another time that he’d been more active than usual. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” Regto said. “I just thought it’d be nice to have an extended slumber party with you,” he gave him a soft smile. Rudo didn’t know why a little voice was telling him that the smile was off. Regto smiled at him all the time, this was no different. “I want to do something fun. We can make a blanket fort and I could tell you stories or we can just relax. Or anything you think would be fun.” 

Rudo thought that over. It’d be nice to see Regto around more for a whole few days. He worked a lot, so a lot of the time Rudo had to be alone, even though he knew Regto tried to be here as much as he could. He saw him every single day, just that he was out for such long hours. 

Rudo finally nodded, a little excited now. “How long are you staying?” 

He knew he didn’t imagine the smile faltering this time. It was up again in short order, but Rudo had seen it this time, and he didn’t know why he’d gotten that reaction. He quickly forgot about that when Regto responded. “A few days, maybe a week,” he said. 

“So long,” Rudo said, a little awed, and Regto laughed quietly, but why did his laugh sound sad? Why were his eyes so sad? He thought he’d imagined that, the first time. He still didn’t get how it could be possible to smile and be sad at the same time.

Regto really could do anything, he guessed. 

But… “Why are you sad?” Rudo asked, frowning now. “Do you…not want to stay that long?” 

Regto jolted where he sat, and his eyes widened a little before he was cupping both of his large hands gently over Rudo’s cheeks. “Rudo,” he breathed. “No, that’s not it at all. I’d stay with you all the time, if I could. I promise you, little dove.”

A tiny curl of fear that he hadn’t even known he’d started to feel eased with the reassurance. “Okay,” he accepted easily. “So then why?”

Another sad smile. Rudo was so confused. “Just a few sad thoughts that were bothering me today,” was all he said. It didn’t really help any with Rudo’s confusion. Maybe Regto saw that, too, because he continued, “don’t worry about me, kiddo. I already feel a little better now that I get to spend so much time with you.” He moved one hand to tap Rudo’s nose with his finger, and Rudo scrunched it up irritably. “And I bet I’ll feel even better once we get our slumber party started. How are your arms now? Do you think you’re up to grabbing a blanket?” 

He was. That didn’t last very long, though, so Regto had to do most of the fort building. He fell asleep that night to Regto’s voice reading to him from a book about the constellations and their grand myths and tales, and they followed him into his dreams. Regto stayed home with him for a whole week before he had to leave to start working again. It was a better week than most. 

The facade only lasted as long as it took for Regto to give him his gloves. He was maybe five or six years old, by then. Rudo could move around much more often once the gloves were in the picture, and he spent more and more time outdoors. The other kids and adults made it no secret what they thought of him, generally, and that was bad enough. But the next time that time of year came around, Rudo realized the slumber parties weren’t just slumber parties. 

He realized this because of the threats. Because of the new term he heard used, thrown at him like a weapon they were preparing to strike with. 

“God, Purification Day can’t come soon enough,” they’d spit at him. 

“The Apostles will finally clean you up soon.”

“Maybe we can even be rid of that fool who thought it’d be a good idea to harbor you.” 

“Filthy son of a murderer. How could there possibly be a fresh start with you still around?”

He never knew what to say. And Regto told him not to fight, so he could only ever glare. Somehow, that worked, most of the time.

But as the days and weeks passed, counting down closer and closer to some invisible date, the verbal lashing only intensified. It was when he was outside and dared to talk back, one day, that it evolved into the physical. The fallout of that moment was the final straw that forced the truth into the light.

A glob of spit landed dangerously close to his feet where he was standing, just watching the sunset at a good vantage point near to one of the edges of the island. He’d found a few good spots like this ever since he’d started exploring outside more often. The only problem was that sometimes other people liked to come to those spots, too. Like now. He stared blankly for a moment at the shiny spot on the ground where the spit had landed, and then looked up at the offender, already fighting back the urge to return fire. Somehow, he didn’t think Regto would be entirely pleased if he spat back in this man’s face. 

“I came here for a nice view, and you’re ruining it, you shitstain,” the man snarled down at him. His features had twisted up in a visceral disgust that wasn’t new to Rudo. Everybody looked at him that way. He thought that everybody looked pretty ugly because of it. Except for Chiwa. She’d never looked at him like that, and he still wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Move.” 

The man took a threatening step forward, and he was tall, tall, tall. Rudo backed up automatically. The man roughly shoved past him anyway to make him stumble. He took the spot Rudo had just been standing in, even though there was plenty of room at this lookout and they were the only two souls there. 

Oh, wait. That wasn’t good, now that he thought about it. Good things never came from being alone with anybody other than Chiwa or Regto. At least it wasn’t some rotten group of friends he was alone with, this time, but this was a grown-up. He didn’t want to take chances. 

Sunset all but forgotten, Rudo turned around, shoving down the trembling rage he wished he could unleash, and started to take his leave. 

He hadn’t even taken two steps when the man spoke up again. “Not long now until Purification Day,” he said, almost wistfully. The shift in his tone was so jarring that Rudo couldn’t help but stop and turn back to look, baffled. The man had his back turned to him, facing out to watch the sky much like Rudo had been doing himself, earlier. Another spike of indignant fury lanced through him, but he said nothing. The man continued anyway, as if he could feel Rudo’s gaze on his back. “The whole city will be clean again. Soon as the Apostles see you, they’ll see the filth in you, and the rest of us won’t have to put up with it anymore. I can’t wait.”

Rudo really, really wished he knew what the hell Purification Day was. And when it was, because from all he’d heard recently, he was kind of starting to be able to admit to himself that it was scaring him. He didn’t know what that day had to do with him. Or Regto. 

He really, really needed to know. He wanted, wanted, needed. And there were only two souls around. Only one soul he could ask, in that very moment.

“What’s Purification Day?” He finally asked, before he could think it through any more. 

He regretted it the second he saw the other man go still as a statue. A helpless spark of painful electricity ignited through his nerves when the man started to turn around slowly, so slowly. 

Rudo froze.

The man stared directly at him, wide-eyed. 

There was a beat of silence. 

“What,” the man began, quietly, “do you mean, ‘what’s Purification Day?’” 

Rudo tried to swallow the sudden lump in his throat and didn’t answer. 

“Is this some kind of joke?” The man asked. His eyes scanned over Rudo’s face, as if searching for a punchline that not even Rudo knew anything of. 

And then he started to advance. 

Rudo couldn’t unstick his feet from the ground fast enough. 

A hand slammed onto his head and twisted into his hair and tugged. Rudo couldn’t help the shriek that ripped from his throat, torn free more from the surprise than the resulting pain. His arms flew up to try to pry the arm off, but he might as well have tried to dig his fingers into stone. The man didn’t even bother to bat him away. Rudo stood no chance. He was jerked forward by the hair and he stumbled, and was given no time to breathe before the hand in his hair was forcing his head back until his neck ached. He met the man’s wide, wild eyes. They were a murky, muddy green that might have actually been closer to gray, he couldn’t tell. The man had leaned down to get in his face, and Rudo was forced to smell his rotten, horrible breath when he laughed in his face. 

What Rudo wouldn’t do to claw the man’s eyes out with his bare hands, right now. As it stood, his frantic struggling was getting him nothing but more stabbing pain at his scalp. 

He refused to shriek again when the man shook him roughly by the hair. His neck hurt. His head hurt. The look in the man’s eyes was still scaring him more than the rest of it. 

All he’d done was ask a question. So why…?

“You seriously don’t know about the biggest holiday of the year?” The man laughed, almost hysterically. His grip tightened further, if possible. Rudo bit the inside of his cheek hard to stop himself from visibly wincing, but he suddenly found the rest of him couldn’t move anymore. He couldn’t. His limbs had been replaced by solid blocks of ice. 

His jumping, jittery nerves screamed at him to fight, to run.

All his body could do was freeze, all the way down to his voice.

“Figures,” the man spat, so harshly that spittle landed on Rudo’s face. “Just another way that the little freak proves he’s not one of us. So allow me to give you a much needed lesson, since I’m feeling generous. You don’t even really need it, because it doesn’t matter. You’ll be out of sight and out of mind soon enough. 

“Purification Day,” the man shook him again, and his scalp was screaming, “is the sacred day of new beginnings. It is a purging of unnecessary weight, of lingering filth, of ‘out with the old and in with the new’. The City has all the fancy parties about it, of course,” he sneered, “but we Tribesfolk celebrate too, you know. It gives us the chance to show them all that we’re better than our ancestors were with every new year. It gives us the chance to toss out rotten stains like you,” another shake, and Rudo tasted blood in his mouth from the force of biting his cheek, “and start another year fresh. Pure.”

The lump blocking Rudo’s voice vanished long enough for him to throw just one barb back before his brain could catch up with his mouth. “With breath as horrible as that, who the hell told you you’d ever be pure? I bet you’ve got maggots in there.”

The man went utterly, terrifyingly still. Rudo’s voice choked itself back into nothingness so quickly that it was like he’d never had one to begin with. 

“You know what,” the man said quietly, tightening his grip in Rudo’s hair once more and bringing his face even closer. Rudo couldn’t breathe. “I really doubt anyone will fault me for getting a head start. It’ll make the Apostles’ jobs easier when the day comes. They might even thank me.”

And then his head was abruptly yanked towards the ground, and Rudo toppled. He wouldn’t be surprised if hair had been ripped out as he fell. He landed on his side and a wheeze escaped his lungs. 

A boot met his unprotected stomach before he could curl up. Rudo choked. 

Without thinking twice, he let his mind slip away from him before the next attack even landed. Even then, however long the whole thing lasted, he knew he at least never gave the man the satisfaction of crying out again. 

He only came back to himself when the sight of the shack he shared with Regto came into view. He stopped in his tracks. Oh, he’d dragged himself home, somehow. 

Honestly, his everything felt like such a deep bruise that he wasn’t sure how he’d even made it back this far. He didn’t even remember the man getting bored of his beatdown.

It was dark out. He wondered how much time he’d lost, this time. 

He blinked, and suddenly he was in front of the door, watching a shaking hand reach out for the handle. He could feel the tackiness of drying blood on his face, he realized. He wondered where it was coming from. He wondered why it was so hard to breathe.

The door opened. He stumbled through it, shaky vision glued to the floor to make sure he didn’t fall back down. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get up again if that happened. 

The sound of abrupt movement startled him into jolting his head up in that direction, and his eyes met Regto’s. 

It was almost funny. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the man look that shocked before. 

“Rudo,” he gasped. “Rudo, what— I was just about to go look for you, where did you, what—“

Rudo stumbled again. It seemed that reaching home and seeing Regto had convinced his body that it was safe enough to collapse against his will. “Reg-to,” Rudo croaked. He almost couldn’t recognize his own voice. 

“Shit,” Regto swore, and in a few short strides he was in front of Rudo and crouching down to hold him up carefully by the shoulders. “Shit. Who did this?” He whispered, though it felt like he wasn’t expecting a real answer from Rudo right now. He was kind of glad for that. 

The next few minutes were another blur of aching and gentle apologies as Regto did his best to assess the state of him and treat his wounds. Rudo was disgustingly grateful to discover that the man hadn’t targeted his hands in any of his attacks. 

“Several bruised and two fractured ribs, I think,” he heard Regto murmur at some point, after a particularly nasty few minutes of being prodded. Breathing hurt so badly.

He blinked a few times, and the world had moved on without him again. This time, he noticed that he couldn’t feel the blood on his face anymore. He was sitting on the couch, and he was swaddled in a blanket. His left side was warmer than his right, and when he looked, he saw that he was tucked against Regto’s side, leaning against him heavily. 

It was infinitely more comfortable than he’d felt in a while. He still hurt, and he’d probably need to ask what the damage was, but for now it looked and felt like he was at least still in one piece, and he was finally home, and his dad was right there. 

“Regto,” Rudo croaked again, and his adoptive father’s eyes raised from the book he’d been reading to look at him. 

“Hey, little dove,” he said, with one of his small, sad smiles. They always seemed to come out this time of year. A few pieces started to fall into place. “You back with me?”

Regto put the book in his lap and reached to his other side, where a glass of water sat on the little side table. He brought the glass up to Rudo’s lips and carefully helped him take a few sips. 

“Regto,” he started again, quietly but at least clearly, now, after he pulled away from the water. “How long was I gone?”

Regto pursed his lips and set the half-empty glass back down before he answered. “Somewhere around two hours, since you got home. Before that, I couldn’t say.” 

“That’s…okay,” Rudo said slowly, like he was testing the words in his mouth before he said them. “I remember getting home, at least.” 

A tense, contemplative silence enveloped them both, for a while. He could practically feel the concern radiating like heat from where he was still leaning on Regto. 

“What happened, Rudo?” He finally asked, nearly whispering. “It’s never been this bad before.” 

“All I did was ask someone what Purification Day meant,” Rudo whispered back. And even through the blanket he was wrapped in, he felt it when Regto stiffened. 

“I see,” he said. 

“And then he grabbed me,” Rudo kept talking, louder, unable to stop once the floodgates had opened. “And he kept talking like someone was going to kill me, and I tried to escape but he was holding my hair and then I couldn’t move, so I just said his breath stank and then he threw me to the ground and kicked me and then— then I don’t remember anything else until I saw the house,” he ended in another whisper. 

A hand, gentle and familiar, carefully rested on his head. When Rudo didn’t pull away, it started to slowly, cautiously card through his hair, like Regto was just as scared as Rudo was of any sort of tug. He never did, and they both relaxed little by little with the repetitive motions. 

“I’m sorry, Rudo,” he heard Regto say, after a while. Rudo looked up at him, confused.

“Why?” He asked. 

Regto’s face had fallen into something beyond just sad. Rudo wasn’t sure what to call it. It was almost like Regto was the one who was trying to hold back any pained noises, this time. 

“I should have told you the truth earlier,” he said, and more pieces fell into place. Rudo was starting to see a picture, now, and he didn’t think he was going to like the end result. 

“Those weren’t just slumber parties every year, were they?” He asked quietly, and Regto shook his head. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I love spending more time with you, because I do,” he said, with a certain immovable steel behind the words that made Rudo believe him instinctually. He nodded, and Regto continued. “But yes. This time of year just… gets more dangerous for us. The people of both the City and the Tribesfolk, they look for those they look down upon to sacrifice during what they call Purification Day. It’s mainly a time for people to throw out all of their garbage, as a sort of symbol to start a new year fresh. They all just seem to think that the same concept should apply to people, too.”

“And that means me, so it means you, too, because you took me in,” Rudo concluded. 

“No,” Regto said with so much sudden quiet force that Rudo nearly flinched. “You are not garbage, Rudo, and I won’t hear any more of that. You and I are both people just as much as anyone else. It is their own twisted beliefs that have them targeting us.” He gentled his voice again. “I’m sorry for not explaining this to you earlier. It never should have taken you getting hurt for me to admit the real reason we need to stay at home sometimes. It’s not an excuse, but… I wanted those times to stay positive for you for just a while longer. I was being selfish, really. It won’t happen again.” 

Rudo didn’t reply for a bit, mulling over everything and trying to pick apart his jumbled thoughts from his equally jumbled emotions. Regto didn’t push him, and another silence fell over the room. 

“I don’t like…that you lied,” Rudo eventually said, choosing his words as carefully as he could. “Lying is bad.” Regto hummed in agreement, and Rudo kept going. “But I hate the truth, too, so I don’t even know…” he trailed off, unsure of where that thought was going. “I’m not my dad,” he pivoted, whispering. “So why do they hate me so much? Why do they have to hate you, too?” 

Regto didn’t answer him for a long moment. “The sins of the father are not the sins of the son,” he said at last. “They can’t see that, but I want you to remember it, Rudo.” 

“Okay,” he murmured, and tried to burrow further into Regto’s side without aggravating his injuries too much. Regto ran his hand through Rudo’s hair again, and they both existed in that fragile peace, if it could be called that, until Rudo miraculously managed to fall asleep. 

It’d been two weeks out from Purification Day when that man attacked Rudo. He didn’t leave the house for four. Fractured bones needed to be given a moment to heal, and it took longer than that for them to fully do that, of course, but by week four, he’d honestly gone beyond stir-crazy and Regto finally let him go outside again when the general public’s animosity was turned down enough that he wouldn’t necessarily be attacked on sight. Physically, anyway. 

It was the first time he’d needed to hide for longer than two weeks. It would never be less than three from that year onward, until the moment that a sword and a masked stranger sealed his fate and the Sphereites finally found a reason to get their hands on him and drop him. 

The candle flame in his chest flickered, then kept burning steady. 

Rudo looked forward to seeing the next holiday the Ground had to offer.