Chapter Text
“Captain’s log, stardate… Gosh what is the date today… It doesn’t matter. Our position, in orbit around Tau Ceti alongside Rocky’s spacecraft. The current batch of Taumoeba-06 do not appear to be-”
“What is Grace doing, question?” Rocky asks.
“I’m logging my mission through a recording, as I usually do.” I glance over my shoulder at Rocky.
“No, not as usual. You are calling yourself captain. Why, question?”
It would probably take a while to explain Star Trek to Rocky, so I say, “I’m copying the introduction to a show I enjoy for fun.”
“That is a bit silly.”
“Well, after all the stressful things we have dealt with recently, I think we can afford to be a bit silly.”
“Agree. Fist my bump, question?” Rocky places his fist on the dormitory’s Xenonite partition. I smile and give him a fist bump.
“I go wait for you in control room. Finish up quick.” He scutters off.
I guess he is probably quite eager to board his own ship again and get some more Xenonite so he can start making stuff we need as well as fixing things all over the ship. On the other hand, I am somewhat dreading having to dock the Hail Mary, knowing that we are so close to accomplishing our mission and that a tiny mistake such as colliding with Blip-A could undo it all.
I can panic about that stuff later, right now I have a recording to get back to.
“Ahem, where was I? Oh right, the current batch of Taumoeba-06 do not appear to be developing nitrogen resistance as quickly as hoped. All tanks barring tank one and tank two appear to have failed, so we will need to set those up again. Regarding the status of the Hail Mary, we will begin repairs to its structural integrity once Rocky has access to his ship so he-”
“Grace done yet, question?” Rocky calls to me from the control room.
I sigh. I suppose boredom is something that no species can overcome. I guess I can do this recording another time. I switch off the camera, which I strapped to the dormitory’s walls with some duct tape. I then float my way over to the ladder.
After spending so long in zero-g, you would think that I would have mastered being able to get from the dormitory to the control room in one go, but instead I miss and have to shield my head from hitting the lab ceiling with my hands. I then push myself along the ceiling to the next ladder and enter the control room.
“You’re here. Good.”
“Mhm. Didn’t want to keep you waiting.” I strap myself into the control seat.
“Good, good, good. We can begin docking now.”
“Ok let me bring up the telescope so I can get a visual of the airlock. Then we can go about this carefully.”
“Very carefully.”
It’s good to see we’re both anxious about this going wrong. Regardless, if I want to get back to Earth and Rocky to Erid then we need to do this.
I move to switch to the Telescope screen when I notice, “Huh? The Radar panel is flashing?”
“Maybe because of Blip-A, question?”
“Possibly… I’ll check it just in case…”
I glimpse at the Radar screen which displays a lot of data in a new window titled “BLIP-C”. The object’s “Velocity” is zero and its “Range” appears to be 217 meters just like Blip-A except orbiting on the other side of the Hail Mary… Wait a minute.
I hastily switch to the Telescope screen and that’s when I see it… A train? What is a 19th century locomotive doing in space!? Does nobody know how to design a proper spacecraft?
“Is everything alright, question?”
“Yeah, um… We have new guests.”
“What!?”
Rocky rushes over to his texture monitor, angles his carapace towards it, and carefully pivots back and forth. He then stops.
“They have a weird looking spacecraft. Weirder than yours.”
“Hey! The Hail Mary is a well-designed vessel, and who knows maybe our new alien friends are really into trains.”
“What is train, question?”
“It’s a vehicle used for transportation of people and goods that follows a specific path.”
“♪♫♫♪”
Another fine addition to the Eridian dictionary.
“We should breed some Taumoeba for them. A strain suitable for the atmosphere of their Astrophage infected world.” Rocky darts excitedly over to me (whilst remaining in his partition of course).
“True.” I lean back against my headrest. “But we should probably first think about how we are going to share our research. After all, what good is it giving them Taumoeba if they have no idea what it is.”
“True, true, true… What should we do, question?”
“I imagine we do the exact same thing that we did when we first met. Establish an airlock designed to meet their habitability requirements as well as our own, establish a shared system of units, and then begin learning how to speak their language.”
“I taught you well.”
“Indeed, you did.”
I’ll admit, meeting a second intelligent alien species isn’t as exciting as the first time, but I am still very much eager to meet these guys. Maybe, like Rocky, they are more advanced than humanity in some areas than others, perhaps in biology rather than materials science. Still, this encounter will likely play out very similarly to my first encounter with Rocky, assuming they are peaceful. (They’re peaceful right?) Only one way to-
“Ah! Why are we floating!?” A voice from the lab screams.
“Why does it smell kind of like rotten eggs? Caelus did you fart?” Another voice asks.
“Absolutely not! Whoever smelt it dealt it!” Caelus (presumably) yells.
“The smell is probably an ammonia leak… Try not to breathe too much in.” Another voice plainly states.
Rocky and I peer (well Rocky hears) into the lab below to see four aliens- No wait those are kids! What are four kids doing in space? How did they get in here? Why do they speak perfect English? Did Stratt send four kids into space thinking that they would put me more at ease to focus on the mission? (Ok maybe that last question is stupid.)
From the looks of it, two of the kids seem to be twins who were bickering earlier. (Which would mean the boy is called Caelus.) They share the same gray hair and wear matching clothes: white shirt with black and yellow jacket as well as a pair of trousers/a skirt. There appears to be another one with pink hair, a white shirt, and a blue jacket as well as skirt, who I presume to be the one panicking earlier. Lastly, there’s Mr. Serious who seems to be unbothered by the whole thing. He has black hair and is wearing gray trousers, a black shirt, and an elegant white jacket.
“Hi kids!” I awkwardly wave down at them.
“Ah! Who are you!?” The pink-haired girl screams.
“It’s Mr Yang’s brother!” Caelus yells.
“Help me, Mr Yang’s brother! I can’t swim!” The gray-haired girl yells.
Mr. Serious remains quiet.
Yeah, I didn’t think that would go well.
“Grace. Spin ship for artificial gravity, question?” Rocky quietly says to me.
“Is that safe this close to your ship and the airlock?” I ask.
“Hmmm… Safer than letting them float near breeder tanks. Don’t want another Taumoeba leak.”
“I guess… I’ll get the ship spinning. You hold on tight.”
“Tell them that.”
Good point, don’t want those kids to hurt themselves when gravity switches back on. In any case, I’m sure there is a first aid kit somewhere and I have plenty of experience of dealing with kids who have cuts or scrapes. (Who would have thought being a teacher would be handy in space?)
I yell into the lab. “Kids, grab onto the lab table and hold tight!”
“Ok?” The pink-haired girl replies.
I focus my attention back onto the screen in front of me and switch it to the Centrifuge screen. I begin the usual centrifuge sequence. I imagine that the alarms that sound would have definitely convinced the kids to do as I said. (Hopefully.)
Soon, the ship is up and spinning with the crew compartment having completed its rotation. Artificial gravity of 1.00g has been restored. Let’s see how the kids are doing now.
I unstrap myself from the control seat and make my way down the ladder into the lab, while doing so Rocky seems to also set about making his own way to the lab. Upon arriving, I see the four kids clutching onto the lab table, thankfully unharmed.
“How is everyone doing?” I politely ask.
“My head hurts…” The pink-haired girl says, whilst wobbling about. “I think I’m going to be sick…”
Not good. “I’ll go get a bag and a cup of water from downstairs. Stay right there.” I turn to head to the dormitory.
“Hey, why can’t March just drink this stuff?” Caelus pokes one of the breeder tanks.
“Don’t touch those!” I rush over. “That’s an important scientific experiment!”
“Ooo... What are you sciencing?” The gray-haired girl asks.
“Those are breeder tanks being used to cultivate nitrogen resistant Taumoeba.”
The twins cluelessly stare at me. I should have probably dumbed things down a bit.
“We’re making new lifeforms,” I say.
“Wow!” The twins shout in unison.
“Ah! A spider!” March cries.
“Am not spider. Am Rocky.”
“Ah! A singing spider!”
“Don’t panic!” I rush over to reassure March, kneeling down between her and Rocky who is in his partition. “There, there, everything is fine. Rocky isn’t a scary spider. Rocky is a friend.”
“A friend?” She wipes a few tears away.
“Yeah. Say hi to Rocky.” I wave at Rocky.
Rocky waves back.
“H-hi… R-Rocky.” March waves at Rocky.
Rocky waves back.
March sniffles. “You have a cool pet rock…”
“Am not pet!” Rocky angrily jolts up.
March giggles. “Rocky makes some funny noises.”
Before I can even apologize to Rocky, he repeatedly taps the Xenonite wall and shouts. “Grace, the breeder tanks!”
I turn around to see the twins attempting to pry one of the breeder tanks free from the restraints used to clamp it in place.
“Hey, kid! Cut that out!” I rush over to stop the twins, shooing them away from the breeder tank they’re messing with. “That’s enough fooling around you two!”
“But Mr Yang’s brother, I’m hungry…” The gray-haired girl pleads.
“Yeah! Stelle and I want snacks now!” Caelus stomps on the ground.
“Look, I can get you two food from downstairs in a second. If we can just calm down and stay put for a second then-”
“Excuse me.” Mr. Serious taps me on the shoulder. “Do you happen to have a data bank somewhere I could read? I’m interested to learn what it is that you are doing here.”
“Um, sure…” I gesture to a cupboard where I stored all the laptops. “There should be a laptop in there you can use to browse the ship’s network.”
“Thanks.”
“Dan Heng, are you seriously going to spend your time on this cool spaceship reading?” Stelle asks.
“Yes,” he replies before wandering off.
Well, at least one of them has something to occupy themselves with. Rocky can’t communicate with them, so it’s down to me to watch these two and-
“Do not touch that button! Bad, bad, bad!” Rocky shouts in a panicked tone.
“You’re a funny little thing, aren’t you?” March replies.
I quickly scramble up the ladder into the control room. God knows what button she is about to press but pushing any one is likely to cause serious trouble.
Upon entering, I notice March holding her finger curiously over the red “Separate” button on the Centrifuge screen.
“Hey,” I anxiously say. “Perhaps you would like to join us downstairs?”
“Oh, it’s fine. Rocky and I were just having fun here looking at all these buttons.” She innocently smiles. “Some of them seem a bit cryptic, like this one labeled separa-”
“Don’t push the button!” I pull her hand away before something terribly bad happens. I notice Rocky quivering in the corner of my vision.
“Sheesh. Fine, I’ll join the others. No need to be so rude about it.” She pulls her hand free and heads down the ladder into the lab.
That was too close.
“Grace.”
“Yes, Rocky?”
“Are all human children like this, question?”
“Yes.”
“Scary.”
I slump into the control seat and take a moment to relax.
“Grace.”
“Yes, Rocky?”
“Two human children causing trouble in dormitory.”
I sigh. I begrudgingly get up and climb down the ladder into the lab. Ignoring March and Dan Heng, I then climb down the ladder into the dormitory to see what horror awaits me.
“Robot, give more food!” Stelle mumbles as she spits crumbs all over the floor.
“Food allotment for this meal has been met,” says the computer.
“Robot, give more food!”
“Food allotment for this meal has been met.”
“Argh!” Stelle starts violently shaking the robot arm.
“Violent mental breakdown detected. Preparing tranquilizer.”
“Computer cancel tranquilizer!” I yell as I pry Stelle off the robot arm.
“Cancelling tranquilizer,” says the computer.
After a bit of resistance, Stelle eventually gives in as I have her trapped in a bear hug.
“Quite the scrappy one, aren’t you?” I boast as Stelle glares at me.
I then spot Caelus poke his head out of the storage area.
“Is everything ok, Stelle?” He asks.
“Caelus, help! This fiend has taken me hostage!” She pleads.
“Hmmm, I’m a bit busy down here… I found some secret doors and I want to know what’s behind them. Good luck!” He then goes back down into the storage room.
Oh no.
“Computer, restrain this violent individual!” I offer Stelle to the robot arm.
“Restraining.” The robot arm firmly grabs hold of her.
“Let me go!” Stelle uselessly squirms.
I can debate with myself whether it’s moral to restrain a child in such a way later, right now I need to stop Caelus from potentially turning off the ship’s life support systems.
I rush over to the storage room entrance and look around for Caelus. I spot him removing a panel and chucking it to one side. (Gosh these twins are troublesome.) I leap down into the storage room (ow) and sneak over to him.
“Hmmm… primary oxygen shutoff…” Caelus mutters.
“Oh no you don’t!” I tightly hug him and pull him away.
“Hey! Release me this instant or I’m telling mom!” Caelus squirms.
“Go ahead, I would love to meet her and tell all about the trouble you and your sister have been causing!”
I would also like to ask her how she keeps her kids in check but something tells me that she probably has as much trouble as I am having right now. I can think about our parent teacher conference later. Now I need to get Caelus out of the storage area and back into the lab.
I walk over to and stare at the entrance to the dormitory.
Oh right. How am I supposed to get out of here whilst grappling this one?
I continue to stare into the dormitory.
“Ok…” I look down at the little brat. “Alright, I’m going to lift you into the dormitory. Do you promise to go back to the lab?”
Caelus pauses for a moment then quietly nods.
Finally, things are starting to calm down. I guess his burst of excitement is now over. I just have to gently lift him up into the dormitory and-
Caelus clambers into the dormitory, breaking free of my grasp. “Stelle don’t worry, I’m coming to save you!”
Gosh darn it.
I carefully climb up into the dormitory and spot Caelus wrangling with the robot arm in an attempt to free his sister. I sigh.
“I thought we agreed that you would peacefully return to the lab?”
“I didn’t say when, did I?” Caelus replies.
“Ok, you kind of got me there…”
“You won’t get away with this you old fart!” Stelle shouts.
“Hey, I’m not old! And I’m certainly not a fart either, missy!”
“Yes you are, you old fart!”
“Ha! Old fart…” Caelus chimes in.
“Alright, that’s enough!” I place my hands firmly on my hips and strike my stern teacher stare. “You two are grounded!”
“What!? That’s unfair!” The twins gasp in unison.
“No arguing.” I point up to the lab.
Caelus sulks and slowly makes his way into the lab. Meanwhile, Stelle just hangs there-
“Computer, release restrained individual.”
“Releasing,” says the computer.
Stelle sulks and slowly makes her way into the lab.
I take a moment to be proud of how I delicately handled the situation. Evidently, I am Tau Ceti’s greatest teacher.
“Grace doing good, question?”
“Oh, hey Rocky.” I turn around to see Rocky in his workshop. I guess he arrived to provide moral support. “I’m doing alright. How about you?”
“Stressed. No idea how you used to do this for a living.”
“Yeah neither do I sometimes, but there’s fun to be had looking after and teaching kids.”
“Hmmm.”
“Are the other two still in the lab?”
“Mhm. They seem rather bored and keep talking about wanting to know what is going on here… No clue what to do with them.”
“I’m not entirely sure either, but we can probably think of something to keep them occupied…”
That’s when an idea strikes me.
“Hey Rocky, do you think you could craft some models for me like the ones you gave me when we first met?”
“Sure. May I ask why, question?”
“Because it is about time this teacher got back to work.”