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“Watcha doing, Barbie?”
Silence at first, but then heavy footsteps approached the batcomputer. Batman looked over at the monitor and pressed a button.
“State the emergency.”
The voice on the other end made an “Oh” noise, like they just remembered something vitally important. A sharp clinking noise was emitted from the other side, then
“Right. I forgot. This communication channel is only for ‘Emergencies’.” the voice says as he says ‘Emergencies’ with every syllable.
Batman sighed as he sat on the chair, fingers already pressing against his temples to ease the ache.
“We went over this, haven’t we?” Batman stated, his voice already dripping with annoyance.
“Ya, ya, I know. But what I’m about to say is technically kinda important.” The voice on the other end argued as the sound of clinking continued.
Batman frowned when he heard a disgusting noise of something being chewed, “Are you eating?” he asked.
The voice on the other end hummed, “Hmm? Oh- ya, there’s this new place that sells western, and their mutton? Cheff’s kiss.” he commented.
“Right.” Batman grunted, “What do you want, Stark?”.
Over in California, Iron Man sat on the roof of his mansion, enjoying the sunset, a plate in hand with a soda bottle, napkin and his utensils by his side.
“I thought maybe for our next meeting we could do it at your place. C’mon, Brucie, you can't say no this time.”. This earned a grumble from Batman.
“Isn’t it your turn?”
Ironman cuts a piece of the mutton, “It is, but I just thought we could like, y’know, hang out a bit as we talk about the universe’s threats and dangers-”
“What did you do?” Batman’s voice cuts through sharply and bluntly.
“What?” Ironman is now caught off guard by the question.
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Ironman says as he puts a hand on his chest with mild offence.
“Stark.”
“Bruce.”
“What did you do?” Batman pressed harder.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ironman says quickly as he cuts a piece of mutton aggressively, “I’m an innocent man.”
“And I’m the worst detective.”
“You definitely are.”
“Tony,” Batman firmly says, changes tactics now.
There was nothing at first except the noise of Ironman aggressively cutting his mutton, then plate clicking and clacking, but then a sigh, “Alright.”
Batman waited.
“It wasn’t my fault, alright? But the guys now know about you.” Ironman just lets it out.
Batman in the Batcave, went still, “Who?”
“The guys.”
“‘The guys’ could be referred to as anything, Tony.” Batman gritted his teeth.
Ironman groaned and clarified, “The Avengers.”
Silence then a “How?”.
“Look, the Avengers were over and I was drunk and blacked out. They kept asking these questions on why I was more tired and oddly secretive on certain days so I didn’t know what happened exactly but I must’ve told them about you somehow.” Ironman explained.
Batman sighed, sinking deeper into the chair, “So, what does that have to do with our meeting?” he asked.
Ironman shrugged, “I thought I could convince you to let me come over this time so I can ‘accidentally’ get caught by The Man of Steel or something so we can be even.”.
Batman massaged his temples, “So now…” a pause, “…you want to extinguish your guilt by purposefully exposing yourself to the Justice League and at the same time embarrassing me?”
“Exactly!” Ironman smiled, “I knew you’d understand.”
Batman glared, “How long have they known? Why didn’t you think to inform me?? And why-”
“Listen Barbie, y’know I love it when you question stuff but right now I just want to have my meal-”
“I don’t give a fuck about your meal.” Batman snapped with his feet now standing.
His glare sharpens, “And don’t call me Barbie.”
“But you’re like a Barbie,” Tony argues simply, as if the facts were obvious.
“I’m not having this conversation wi-”
“You’re sassy, you’ve got a lot of clothes-”
“My batsuits are not considered-”
“And you have been to the moon before, am I right?” Ironman inquired.
Batman stared which just made Ironman continue, “See? Barbie has been to the moon too.”.
“Answer. The. Question.”
“What was the question?”
Batman repeated, “How long have they known?!”
Ironman waved his hand, “I don’t know, a couple of days now,”, this earned a sigh from Batman.
Batman sat down again, “How much do they know?”.
Ironman looked at the screen finally after avoiding eye contact, “Just your name. I made sure of it.” which made Batman hum.
Ironman took the last bite and placed the utensils on the plate. He moved them to the side and sat properly. Not that he wasn’t before but straighter and stable on his back. His gaze shifted from his feet to the plate and to the view. The moon was slowly peeking through, its glow slowly seeping and tucking the sun to rest.
Ironman sighed and said “I admit, it’s my fault,” he professed.
His mouth hung open and he looked like he was about to say more but nothing came out. He shut it finally and they sat in silence. Batman leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, his hands joined together and just massaging his fingers.
“Joker’s up to something.”
“What?” Ironman blinked and was now confused by the sudden change of subject.
“The Joker is up to something,” Batman repeated, gaze maintained on Ironman who returned it with more confusion.
“The Joker… is up to something,” Ironman repeats like a broken record.
“He’s working with Lex Luthor on something big.”
“The Joker is up to something… with Baldi…on something big.”, Ironman clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “…this helps me how?”.
Batman leans back on his chair, “The Justice League has a meeting this coming Saturday.”
Immediately after that was said, Ironman's eyes widened and he caught on, “And the Justice League is having a meeting.”, his voice was now less confused and clearer and seemingly a tiny bit amused.
Ironman’s hand gestures to Batman in a way of asking for more, “..around..?”.
Batman’s brows raised at the hand gesture first but then after the question replied, “10 in the morning.”.
“10 AM.” Ironman repeated, but then frowned, “On a Saturday? Seriously?”
Batman shrugged, “It is a suitable time for a weekend.”.
Ironman nodded, “Whatever you say, Barbie,” he says as he picks up the plate, careful to balance the utensils, “And I guess you expect me to crash the party before it starts?”
”It will be efficient that way.”
“Efficient in what?”
“I won’t have to sit through a 2-hour-long meeting,” Batman grunted, which made Ironman bark a laugh.
“Alright, so the plan is set,” Ironman grinned, “See you this Saturday, Barbie!”.
Batman grumbled as the communication channel ended. A sigh then he gets up and walks away from the batcomputer. In his mind, already preparing for a heck of a meeting this Saturday.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ˗ˏˋ ☏ ˎˊ˗ ꒱ ˎˊ˗