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till drags him up the forest path by the wrist, refusing to listen to ivan when he complains. for all it’s worth, the forest is beautiful. the trees provide a sort of canopy over their heads and sunlight filters through it, casting shadows upon the flora.
ivan is so busy admiring the forest that it takes him a minute to realize that till’s come to a stop beneath one particular tree, a gorgeous live oak tree with thick, low-sweeping branches. but what catches ivan’s eye isn’t the tree itself, but the flowers that are scattered around it.
“anemones,” ivan breathes.
when he looks over, till is studying him with intense teal eyes. ivan’s breath catches in his throat. he’s never had till look at him so intently, look at him like he’s the only thing worth looking at.
before he knows it, ivan’s wrist is captured by the gray-haired boy once again and he’s dragged toward the tree. when they reach the base, till tugs at him.
“sit down,” he says in a serious tone. “we’re gonna be here for a while.”
ivan listens, mostly because he doesn’t see much of an alternative.
as soon as ivan is settled next to him, till reaches around him, starts plucking flowers and gathering a bunch of them in his lap. ivan watches a familiar scene, one he’s seen a thousand times long ago.
“why are you making a flower crown?” he questions.
till ignores him. ivan finds he isn’t bothered by it.
ivan spreads his legs out, knocking his feet together, as he leans back with his hands behind him. besides watching till, he continues his inspection of the forest. it really is quite beautiful. birds flit from tree to tree, playing amongst each other, while squirrels run in spirals up huge tree trunks. the trees are lovely, though the one they’ve settled beneath has to be the prettiest. ivan almost wants to climb it, but he’d never leave till’s side, not when the boy was tolerating his presence.
“done.”
ivan only has a minute before red takes over his vision. he reaches up, finds that the crown till had painstakingly been working on was on his head.
“don’t rip this one or i’ll kill you,” till says warningly. “there’s no bullshit cameras in these flowers.”
ivan hums, adjusting the crown so it settles better on his head. “wouldn’t dream of it.”
till sighs, leans back on his hands like ivan and shifts closer to the boy. “i’ve... wanted to do that for a while,” he says slowly, as if admitting a truth that pains him. “it’s the first thing i ever wanted to do in that life. i wanted to gift this to you, and i wanted you to accept it. to accept me.”
“i really ruined your plans, didn’t i?” ivan says lightly.
till shoots him a glare. “you did that and more.” he sighs again before furrowing his brows. “why’d you do it?”
it. there’s no question as to what ‘it’ till was referring to. ivan doesn’t dare look at till, choosing to watch a nearby rabbit scurry from one bush to another. he watches as the rabbit pauses in its trek, nose twitching as if sensing danger, before hurrying in its journey.
finally, when ivan can’t bear any more of till’s piercing stare, he speaks. “out of the two of us, you were more deserving of advancing. it should’ve been easy for you to beat me. i didn’t expect you to act the way you did.”
till scoffs. “so, what? you decided to completely sabotage your chances in the worst way possible?”
“you’re wrong,” ivan says softly. “it was the best way. i ensured your victory. i only regret one thing.”
“and what’s that?”
ivan hesitates for a second. “well... you became an unwilling victim.”
“and what exactly,” till begins, “was i victim of? your actions?”
“no,” ivan says, shaking his head. “my actions were necessary. you were destined to move forward. i ensured that. but i left a lingering trace of my feelings. my unworthy emotions. if i could go back, i’d do it all over again, but in a way that didn’t let you mourn me.” ivan turns his head, chuckles at the frustrated expression on till’s face. “you mourned for me, didn’t you? that’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”
“shut up,” till says without bite. “you had no idea what you were to me. you had absolutely no idea.”
“incorrect. i knew exactly where i stood with you, till.”
“you’re the one who’s wrong,” till shoots back. “how could you know? i didn’t even realize until you were gone.”
silence settles around them, broken only by the music of the forest around them. despite the severity of their conversation, the two boys are relaxed, serene even. they speak of events that were a lifetime ago, that had no meaning to the lives they lived today. but even then—
“i want a do-over,” till declares suddenly.
ivan raises a brow. “of what? the stage? i think you’re a bit too late for that. and i’ll make sure you win again anyways.”
“no, not that bullshit.” till sits up, crossing his legs and pulling at ivan. “look at me, idiot.”
“hmm, what is—”
ivan’s words are cut off by till surging forward and slotting his lips over ivan’s. till’s hand reaches up to cradle ivan by the back of his head, not unlike what happened in that lifetime, ensuring that ivan couldn’t escape this kiss. when the two boys finally break for air, ivan blinks in confusion while till grins triumphantly.
“my do-over,” till says proudly. “i can’t change most of what happened back then, but this... i’ve always wanted this to be different. and now it is. this is our first kiss. this is our only first kiss.”
ivan takes in that gleam in till’s eyes, feels his heart crack a bit at the rush of emotion currently overwhelming him.
“i’m not worth it, till,” he says finally, voice small.
“let me decide that. i won that stage because of you. but this time... this time i decide who the winner of the stage is. this life is mine to decide.”
“well...” ivan’s lips quirk up, unable to resist the happiness rolling off till. “i guess it’s only fair. hey, till?”
“hm?”
“will you teach me how to make a flower crown? i think we should match.”
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