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I hate you so much.
Kylo tried to ignore the words scrawled along his forearm, but they always came back to haunt him every night before he fell asleep. He'd waited so long for his mark to appear, to know that there was indeed someone out there in the universe meant just for him. He'd always assumed that that would involve something along the lines of love. Everyone else's marks were innocuous. Innocent. But not his. Of course, his would be about how much he was loathed instead of loved.
The hurt built up for years, making him hardened to any show of affection from anyone, including his own parents. If his soulmate couldn't love him, how could anyone else? Why should anyone else?
Fine. He didn't need a soulmate. He didn't need love. All he needed was knowledge, and that he could get from books, the Internet. He didn't need people. He didn't need anyone.
(Maybe if he told himself that every night for long enough it would become true.)
Kylo may have convinced himself that he didn't need anyone, but he couldn't deny the strange comfort he felt when surrounded by the Knights. Social outcasts like him, they had accepted him into their little clique after Kylo had dented a locker with his bare fist when he'd gotten detention (again). They seemed to hate everyone outside of their group, and that was just fine by Kylo. Normally he just paid no one any attention, but it was fun, if a bit cruel, to sit among the Knights and judge other students during lunch.
A favorite target of theirs was a junior that only went by 'Hux'. Bright red hair that was always styled just so, a permanent scowl carved on his face, and a rather formal way of speaking and dressing, the ginger attracted more than a fair bit of attention from the Knights. Kylo tried to join in on the insults (so that his...friends wouldn't think him some soft little weakling and go after him next), he found that disparaging words never came easily. They always lodged in his throat at the sight of impeccable red hair over pale skin, blue-green eyes that were both cold and burning when they turned to the Knights in response to their whisperings. It was obvious that Hux wanted to chew them out, but he always just set his jaw and continued to his table with his own mismatched group of friends.
Kylo admired his restraint (and his genuine friendship with the others at his table). He always averted his eyes when Hux would turn that fierce gaze in his direction, unable to bear the full intensity without blushing. He never saw how those light eyes would quickly flick up and down and soften just the smallest bit.
A few weeks into the semester, the Knights seemed to decide that verbal jabs weren't enough anymore. They began to plot out a prank on a PTA meeting that would feature a presentation by members of the Model U.N. Kylo only half-listened as they planned that afternoon. Something about a can of pink paint or something. It was juvenile no matter how you sliced it.
It wasn't until that night, dragged to the PTA meeting by his board-member mother, that the full extent of the prank became clear.
Only Kylo seemed to notice the shuffling above the stage in the auditorium. He shook his head in exasperation at the thought of the Knights acting like stereotypical bullies in a bad teen movie. The head of the PTA droned on about plans for the coming year, ways to get more parents involved, fund raising, blah blah blah. He bored Kylo to tears.
He was just about to close his eyes for a quick nap (anything to tune out the man's monotonous voice) when the Model U.N. was introduced and a shock of red hair stepped toward the podium. Hux began to speak, his voice eloquent and precise and oddly soothing, but Kylo's focus was on piecing together the Knights' plan: they were going to dump paint on Hux.
It was the thought of paint ruining that infuriatingly perfect hair, that stupidly expensive (and flattering) suit, that pale (beautiful) skin that jolted Kylo out of his seat and sprinting towards the stage. He tried calling out Hux's name in warning as he leaped onto the stage, but it wasn't enough.
All he could do to protect the other boy was wrap his arms around him and hope his broader frame would shield him from the paint that spilled from above like a waterfall of Pepto Bismol.
Chaos erupted in the audience as parents and teachers expressed their shock and disbelief. A chemistry teacher managed to wrangle both Knights responsible for the paint dump into light headlocks to keep them from running. Two more teachers rounded up the others who had been hidden in the wings recording the prank on their phones and laughing like hyenas.
None of it mattered to Kylo. As time began to catch up to him, he realized he still had Hux in a crushing hug. Cold paint slithered down his back under his shirt as he straightened, releasing Hux from his hold. His clothes and hair stuck uncomfortably to his skin, but that was all in the background as he struggled to find words to explain the situation to the boy staring at him. A glob of paint fell from his hair to land on his eyebrow and slide down his cheek.
Despite the anger and concern of the adults around them, the world felt lighter when Hux began to laugh. Kylo didn't even mind so much that it was directed at him; the sound was wonderful. A thumb came up to wipe the paint from his face, but only succeeded in smearing it instead. The digit was warm against the cold slime, as were the mercurial eyes that Kylo had devoted too much time to in his daydreams. Hux's voice was light and teasing when he finally stopped laughing long enough to form words: “I hate you so much.”
Kylo froze. It couldn't...no. It wasn't possible. It...just wasn't possible.
But Hux's smile was infectious. And his thumb was still on Kylo's cheek. Maybe he could tease back a little, show he didn't take offense (how could he be offended by anything Hux said when he looked and sounded so...joyful). He gave a tentative grin before replying, “I hate you, too.”
Hux's chuckling stopped. His eyes widened, and his smile vanished.
Kylo immediately felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. He'd screwed up. Already. The thought scared him more than he liked to admit. “I mean, not really, I- I was just- I didn't meant like really hate you-”
His verbal stumbling halted when Hux pulled back and started to unbutton a sleeve cuff with fingers that may or may not have trembled a little. The words that greeted Kylo when the fabric was pushed back shocked him into a near-catatonic state: I hate you, too.
He lifted his eyes, now wet with overwhelmed tears, to meet Hux's. All those years of dreading meeting his soulmate, thinking he would be forever unwanted and unloved...not only were they shared by this beautiful young man before him, but they were completely and wholly untrue. The words written on their arms weren't ones of genuine hatred. They were ones of playful teasing.
Hux's eyes shone with tears as well, but not hatred. Not disappointment, not anger. Kylo knew his were in a similar state.
And they smiled.