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If he’d been asked what he’d be doing this Friday night, Slade wouldn’t have been able to give the right answer. Not because he was being cagey about his plans, but because it was just as much an unknown to him. This week, it was Lex’s turn to plan their little date night activity.
Each week, whosever turn it was to plan their date would alternate. One week would be Lex and the next would be Slade, and so on and so forth. It wasn’t always on a Friday, but it typically did fall during the weekend—if nothing else for pure convenience sake.
This week it was Lex’s turn to plan and he’d kept it a total secret the whole week. And honestly, with what the secret was? Slade wished it would've stayed hidden from him.
“I can’t believe you thought this would be a good idea…” Slade mutters, just loud enough for Lex to hear from across the table and give his boyfriend a swift kick to the shin in response.
“It was my week to pick and I thought this would be fun! I’m not having a bad time and if you’d pull the stick out of your ass, I think you’d have fun too!” Lex muses, the paint brush in his hand dipping back into its water cup before tapping it on the edge to get any excess off before changing colors.
Here sits Slade Wilson. Ex-military. Ex-mercenary. Current Head of Security for LexCorp. Reduced to nothing more than a man dragged along by his boyfriend into a pottery painting studio on a Friday night….
“I didn’t think you and I had such differing opinions on the definition of fun, Lex.” Slade’s shoulders are slouched and his eye narrowed as he watches Lex happily continue to paint away.
“Quit being a little bitch about this, Slade. Go pick something to paint! I’m gonna be at least an hour and a half, so you’re either gonna participate or you’re gonna be bored. Your choice.”
Slade tilts his head back in resignation, his eye clenched shut while his lips form a thin line as he silently accepts his fate. Rising from his chair, Slade weaves in between tables and chairs, trying to dodge the other patrons as best he can given the tight layout of the establishment.
“We could be out drinking, see a movie, go to a concert, go to a shooting range, go play darts…anything. I’d even take the fucking musesum again over this shit…” He shakes his head as he struggles to find anything lining the shelves that might be the slightest bit interesting to paint. Slade swears under his breath as he stops in his tracks, glaring at a small child who ran out in front of him without looking. Hugging the wall as he searches, Slade is just about to give up when he sees something out of the corner of his eye that catches his attention.
“Pfft…The fuck are you?” Slalde wonders aloud as he walks closer to a shelf of mismatched pieces. Some from old shipments of seasonal stock they’d gotten in or just the random thing that the owner thought somebody might eventually paint.
In this case, it’s an older looking piece that Slade knows has to be from an Easter stock. It’s a small rabbit that’s nibbling on a carrot that’s far too big for it and Slade’s mind is too dirty of a place for him not to think of something filthy.
“Oh…Oh the resemblance is uncanny! Ha! He’s gonna fucking hate this.” Snickering to himself, Slade picks up the little rabbit and heads over to get some paints from the staff working running the paint bar before returning to the table Lex is still toiling away at. The small rabbit tucked just out of sight from Lex when he sits down.
“Did you pick something out or are you still pouting?” Lex doesn’t look up from the robot he’s meticulously painting as he asks.
“Oh don’t you worry, I found something that’s gonna keep me entertained."
“Really?” Lex lifts his head in surprise and leans over to try and see what it is.
“Ah! Hey! It’s a…surpise! I don’t want you to see it until I’m finished with it.” Slade fibs as he covers the object with his arm, just barely blocking Lex’s view in time.
“Oh…well alright then! I’m glad you’re finally getting into the spirit of things. Remember to do three good coats or it’ll come out splochy.”
“Heh…I intended to make this little guy a fucking masterpiece, Lex. You’re gonna be speechless when I’m done with it.”
Lex smiles brightly at Slade, relieved that the gruff man might actually be coming around to the date idea. Leaving his boyfriend to his painting, Lex stands up to go grab more paint for himself, making sure to avoid looking at whatever it is Slade picked out so as to not ruin the surprise.
Slade watches Lex walk away before he starts painting. The rabbit has a fluff of hair on top of its head that was just messy and disheveled looking enough that it almost perfectly mirrored Lex’s own hairstyle. And luck would have it that the studio had just the perfect color of paint to match Slade’s inspiration.
Lex returns with more paint in hand, his eyes wide with excitement as he sees how immersed in painting Slade looks. His boyfriend’s tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he’s focused on his piece.
“You look so honed in, Slade. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re actually enjoying yourself.” Lex teases as he picks up his paintbrush again.
“What can I say? I found a piece that…spoke to me is all.” Slade has to bite back a chuckle as he looks down at the rabbit that reminds him of someone very, very close to him.
The night goes on, Lex trying in vain to sneak a glance at Slade’s work but he’s denied every time. Slade finishes before Lex but urges the smaller male to take his time, honestly Slade gets a kick out of it when he looks down at the small pottery piece he painted to mirror his boyfriend before shifting his gaze to look up at the real thing.
A brief wave of disappointment creeps into Slade when Lex reveals that no, they can’t actually take them home tonight.
“What do you mean we can’t take them home?!”
“Well they have to dry and be put in the kiln and glazed. They aren’t finished yet. We can pick them up in a week when they’re done.”
Slade groans in annoyance, his arms crossed as he pouts looking down at his creation. There’s auburn hair that covers the rabbit’s head, the sickly pale color Slade painted the rabbit’s fur to mimic Lex’s skin tone…and the alt-colored carrot that the small rabbit is struggling to manage in its mouth. Instead of the typical orange color, the vegetable is closer in hue to a…flesh color.
Slade lets out a brief cackle but covers his mouth, trying to hide his amusement. The image in his mind of Lex reacting to the naughty abomination is enough to pull him from his tantrum.
So that’s what Salde works towards.
All week leading up to them picking up their pottery, Slade is playing hype man for the naughty little rabbit he made.
“You really are excited about this, aren’t you? I swear, you’ve talked more about your painting than you have about anything else this week that wasn’t food or sex related.”
Slade slaps a hand over his mouth and bites his tongue. Some cruel god somewhere is playing a joke on him. He couldn’t have set it up better himself for him to reveal what he painted there, but he has to keep it on the down low. Lex can’t learn anything about it until they pick them up tonight. Feigning a cough to stifle his laughter, Slade straightens his back before he speaks.
“I’m just happy we get to pick them up tonight, I can’t wait for you to see it. And after we get them, we’ll go to my date night plan for us. I just hope you bring your appetite…” Slade trails off as he steps out of the elevator to go towards the basement training area, smirking to himself and only letting his laughter out when the doors close with Lex still in it going back up.
Later that night, Slade and Lex go into the studio together to pick up their art. Lex’s piece is the first one the worker brings up to the counter, Lex happily admiring his painted robot before the worker brings out Slade’s.
Slade can see the hidden smirk on the employees face as he unwraps it, the young man just about losing it when he sees the striking similarities between the small painted rabbit and the muse for the piece together. The resemblance really is quite undeniable. So much so that Lex instantly recognizes them himself with just one look.
“SLADE!”
Slade’s laughter is fully unleashed when he hears Lex’s shrill voice scold him. The white-haired male nearly doubles over in laughter, a tear springing to his eye as he can finally bask in the true comedic genius he’s been setting up for a week straight now.
There, in all its glory, is Slade’s piece. A small, pale looking rabbit with auburn hair struggling to take a flesh toned carrot in its mouth.
The other patrons of the studio turn to look at the pair but Lex is hastily making an exit, his cheeks flushed from embarrassment as he quickly makes his way to the car outside. That just leaves Slade all alone in the studio, the small rabbit figure in his hand while the worker rewraps Lex’s robot to put it in a bag for easier carrying.
“It-haha…It really does look like him, man.” The worker admits as he hands Slade the bag before he continues. “But my-ha…haha! Ahem…My boss wanted me to ask you to-pffft-keep it PG next time…” The employee wipes a tear from his eye, trying to regain his composure.
“HA! This?” Slade starts, holding up the small rabbit in his hands to show the employee. “This is insurance that he’s not gonna make me come back here for a next time.” Slade admits as he heads towards the door, the rabbit and Lex’s robot in hand.
Slade opens the car door and climbs into the driver’s seat, already feeling a pair of eyes burning holes into the side of him.
“I got your robot…” Slade smirks, reaching over to hand the bag to Lex who practically snatches it away from Slade.
“I can’t believe you did that! Why’d you paint such a filthy fucking thing in a family place like that!?”
“Oh please, Lexi. You don’t give a shit about keeping things PG! Just admit you’re a little embarrassed…” Slade teases, poking Lex’s cheek with his finger while smirking at his boyfriend.
“Of course I am! You painted a rabbit thing to look like it’s me giving you head! What the fuck is the matter with you?!”
“What?! You inspire me! You’re my muse, what can I say?!” Slide tries to force his words through the giggles that slip from his lips but it only works to further anger Lex.
“You so fucking owe me.” Lex crosses his arms over his chest, the bag with his robot sitting on his lap as Slade reaches over to put something in range of his vision.
In Slade’s hand is the little rabbit that’s painted in Lex’s likeness, the man seemingly trying to woo Lex with the creature’s admittedly cute image…Even if it is bordering on the indecent. Lex takes the figure from Slade and looks it over, scowling at the item as if it’s its fault Slade painted it in such a fashion.
“Alright…I’ll give it to you. It’s-It’s not bad…It’s still a jackass thing to do! But it’s not bad…” Lex relents, looking over the rabbit in closer detail. “You’re still in trouble though.” It’s an added after thought, one that Lex probably doesn’t mean.
“Am I still in trouble if I tell you I got us reservations at that new fusion place you said you wanted to try?”
Lex makes a soft excited little hrmph noise unintentionally as he looks over at Slade expectantly.
“Well, you’d be in less trouble…” Lex starts, trying to hide his excitement as Slade starts the car.
“What if I told you I booked the VIP table?”
Lex says nothing but seemingly drops the glare he was trying to force as Slade pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards the restaurant in question.
“That’s what I thought. I figured this would be a good date night idea.”
“Mine was a good idea, too. You just put a dirty spin on things. I had plenty of fun so I plan on going back.”
“Oh, shit…Really?”
“Yes, Slade! I had a good time! They get new stuff every other week or so, so I want to stop in every once in a while and have some fun.” Slade goes to interrupt Lex but Lex cuts him off, finishing his thought first. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you come with me! I don’t want to get banned from that place.”
“Oh thank fuck…Like I made my own fun but I do not want to go back.” Slade admits as he pulls into the restaurant parking lot, finding a spot quicker than he thought he would.
“That’s fine, Slade. Like I said, I don’t want to get banned.”
Slade gets out of the driver seat and goes around to the passenger side, opening the door for Lex as he slides out.
“Besides, I can just go with Ethan anyway…” Lex teases, smirking when he sees the anger on Slade’s face as he slams the door shut.
“THE FUCK YOU CAN!”
Lex just laughs as he walks away, ignoring Slade’s questioning protests as they near the restaurant's entrance.
“Don’t you start going on friend dates with Ethan. I’ll fucking kill that little prick before you hang out with him out of work…” Slade mutters, his tone low and threatening as he looks down at Lex.
“Ohhh, is that jealousy I smell?”
“Pfft! No! Jealous of Ethan?! FUCK NO! I’m just saying…I don’t want you taking people to places like that that we go. That’s just for you and me…” Slade tries to play it cool but Lex can read him like an open book.
Lex rolls his eyes as they take their seats, his hand gently rubbing on Slade’s arm as they wait for their waitress.
“Don’t worry, I won’t go on any dates with Ethan…” Lex teases, smirking slightly when he sees the quick sneer on Slade’s face when he hears the name.
“Good, you’re my little bunny after all.” Slade proclaims, his pride swelling slightly when he sees the smirk on Lex face drop, now being replaced with a flustered expression and cheeks burning bright red once again.
“God, I can’t take you anywhere!!” Lex tries to hide his embarrassment but fails. Slade seeing straight through the forced calm on Lex’s face.
“You’re thinking about the bunny and the carrot again, aren’t you?” Slade teases, his finger once again gently poking Lex’s cheek.
“Shut up! I am not!”
“Awww! Your cheeks are all puffy just like his!”
“I will fucking kill you, Slade…I will fucking kill you right now in this resturant…”
“Ok, ok! I’ll lay off…” Slade pulls back, his hands up innocently before he reaches forward and grabs one of the drink menus.
Lex does the same, the two quietly scanning over drink options before Slade turns the menu over and sees the dessert menu.
“I wonder if they have any carrot cake.”
“YOU FUCKER!”