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The science lab of the Hail Mary was surprisingly quiet.
Grace hunched over the desk as he looked closer at the samples he was studying. The microscope was probably going top give him a headache if he kept straining his eyes to see, but it wasn't like he wasn't used to it.
Rocky was somewhere behind him in the xenonite ball he used when he wanted to spend time in Grace's space. Rocky had his own area in the ship to call his own, of course, but he still spent a lot of time in Grace's immediate vicinity, hence the continued usage of the oversized hamster ball.
Grace was busy trying to synthesize some food for him to eat on the journey to Erid—it wasn't a problem yet, but it was likely going to be one in the future—so he didn't see it when Rocky crashed into one of the cabinets. Of course, he certainly heard the sharp crash, followed by an Eridian word he didn't recognize.
"You alright, buddy?" He inquired, still not looking up from the microscope.
"Rocky is fine, but this ♩♫♩♪ cabinet is always in the way. You should move the piece of ♬♩♪♩."
That was another word that the computer didn't translate. It must be new. Grace frowned and finally turned around to look at his Eridian friend.
"What were those words you used? The computer couldn't translate two of them."
Rocky paused to think for a moment.
"Both are words for… emphasis. But are sometimes rude. They make a statement more forceful." He spoke slowly, trying to get his words right.
"Oh, we have some words like that. I never use them because I wasn't allowed to say them around the kids I taught, but we definitely have them." Grace adjusted his glasses and looked at Rocky again. "Y'know, of those words are also considered rude by Eridians, you should probably stop saying them before we get to Erid. You don't want to build up bad habits like that."
Spoken like a true middle school teacher.
Rocky, of course, stopped listening the moment Grace said that there were human equivalents of Eridian curses. He needed to know what they were. After all, wasn't Grace the one who was always on about effective communication and all that?
"Teach me the words. And put them in the computer, too," He commanded.
"What? No. Why would I do that? I just said you should stop using those words, not that you should learn them in English as well."
"Grace letting Rocky use curses would make more effective communication. Does Grace not care about understanding Rocky?" Rocky pushed forward, hoping to back Grace into a proverbial corner.
"If I know what sentences you're saying, then I can figure out what words you're using, even if I don't know which specific curse words you're saying. Besides, you even said that they're mostly for emphasis—they don't have much bearing on the meaning of the sentence itself beyond that."
With that, he turned back to the microscope and left Rocky to whatever he was going to do before he bumped into the cabinet.
Rocky, however, was not going to be deterred that easily.
- - -
It was roughly a day later when Rocky, once again in his glorified hamster ball, rolled back into the laboratory of the Hail Mary spaceship.
"What the ground is Grace doing, question?"
Grace paused and looked down at him.
"Could you repeat that, please?"
Rocky did so gleefully.
"What the ground is Grace doing, question?"
Grace's brow furrowed, and he stepped away from the lab table to face Rocky fully.
"What do you mean by ground? Is the word for ground used in multiple ways in Eridian?" There had been some confusion in the past with Eridian homonyms and some words having multiple correct definitions depending on the context, so it wasn't out of the question.
"No. Is for emphasis. Old words to replace new bad words so Grace cannot censor Rocky."
"You think I'm censoring you by not allowing you to curse?" He now deeply regretted teaching Rocky about the concept of censorship and what was allowed to be said on daytime television.
"Yes. Grace censor Rocky. Grace tell Rocky what words Rocky can and cannot say."
Oh jeez.
"Sorry, Rocky, but I'm not going to teach you any English curse words. I don't even say them. Why would I start saying them just to teach you?"
Rocky lifted one arm.
"So Rocky can be clear and concise with Grace! So Rocky can let Grace know when Grace acts like a ♬♩♪𝅘𝅥𝅰!"
"Okay, I don't know what word you just said, but it was definitely not nice. My answer is no, and that's final."
Grace turned back around and ignored Rocky's further protests.
Well if that wasn't enough, then Rocky was just going to have to double down.
- - -
"Why is Grace such a stupid building idiot, question?"
"Excuse you?"
"Grace heard Rocky."
"All I did was drop my glasses. And stop using substitutes for curse words! I already know what you're saying, you don't need to be like that about it."
"Rocky only uses words that Grace lets Rocky use."
- - -
"Hey Rocky, does this math make sense to you?"
"Absolutely the tree not! Grace's variables are all wrong. Grace should start over."
"Oh for goodness' sake! Enough already! I'm not teaching you to curse!"
- - -
"Why does Grace look like that?"
"Why do I look like what?"
"Ugly as reindeer."
"Reindeer? Seriously? Now you're just being rude."
- - -
"Does Grace know why space is so jogging boring, question?"
"Okay, that's it! I've had it up to here with you speaking like that! Just stop using words in place of curses! It makes no sense! I can't even tell what you're saying half of the time!"
"Well if Grace just let Rocky say human curse words, Rocky would not need to substitute."
Grace paused. Weighed his options. Weighed them again. Came to a conclusion.
He sighed as he sat down criss-cross-applesauce on the floor to be at eye-level with Rocky. Not that Rocky had any eyes, but the thought still counted.
"If I give you the ability to say curse words and let the computer translate them, do you promise to stop using other words and substitutes and being mean just so you can curse in a round-about way?"
"Maybe."
"Rocky." He drew the name out warningly.
"Fine. Yes. Rocky promise."
"Okay then."
Ignoring his protesting knees, Grace got up and went over to the computer sitting on the counter nearby.
- - -
"What the hell is Grace doing, question?"
Grace huffed and looked to where he heard the voice coming from.
"Just analyzing these samples, bud."
"Why, question?"
"Because I'd like to be able to actually eat so I can live long enough for us to make it to Erid, that's why."
Rocky stepped forwards, then back.
"Do you have something to say, Rocky?"
Rocky took so long to answer that Grace simply thought he wasn't going to. He almost turned back to look at the samples again until Rocky finally spoke up.
"Thank Grace for giving Rocky words," He said slowly.
"It's no problem." Grace smiled. "Just please promise you'll work on being a bit more polite with your words before we land?"
"Yes. Rocky will try."
Grace turned back to refocus on his lab work as Rocky rolled away. At least he wasn't using random words in place of curses anymore. Seriously, Grace wasn't sure how much more of it he could've taken it.
Right as he thought that, as if on cue, a loud crash sounded behind him, followed by the irritated chittering of his best friend.
"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!"
Grace decided he didn't even want to know.