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They were almost there.
Erid was so close they could actually see it if they looked out the windows of the Hail Mary, and the excitement was palpable.
The cramped spaceship just wasn’t big enough for multiple people to comfortably live in while they weren't focusing entirely on their joint mission of figuring out the Petrova Line. Of course, the ship wasn’t meant to support life beyond the conclusion of the mission, but that was neither here nor there.
In any case, Rocky was ecstatic to be able to go home. He couldn’t wait to see Adrian and introduce them to Grace. He was sure they would be fast friends. After all, they were both smart, they both were kind, and they both liked being around him—they were practically guaranteed to get along!
Being so close to the end of their time in space, however, brought with it the question of what life would be like when they landed.
It truly started when Grace woke up one morning.
- - -
“Hey Rocky, is there anything I should know about Eridians before we land?” He inquired.
Rocky wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, but Grace quickly clarified.
“I mean, you’ve told me some things, and other things I’ve learned through observation and our close proximity, but there’s still so much I don’t know. What about formal greetings? When we land, I’m sure I’ll have to introduce myself to whoever supervises Eridian space programs—I know for a fact that every human government’s space agencies would want to speak with an alien if any ever landed on Earth—so what do I do? Am I supposed to bow or something? Are there any movements I should avoid? Plus, what if—”
Rocky tuned out his long-winded rambling and just started to mentally form a list of all cultural norms that he would need to fill Grace in on. Of course, everyone would be so shocked that Rocky brought home an alien that he doubted they would be offended if that alien didn’t exactly follow their customs. Still, he needed to make sure that Grace knew the basics. He refocused on his friend’s currently one-sided conversation for now.
“—and of course, I know that you guys aren’t shy about eating or anything, but is there any sort of nonverbal thanks that should be given after a meal? I mean, some human cultures have that sort of thing. I think. I probably read that somewhere, but I don’t actually know if that’s true. I’m a biologist, not an anthropologist, after all.”
Rocky stilled.
He never told Grace about the eating thing.
Worse, he actively gave him misinformation.
This was not good.
He needed to fix this, but how could he? How could he possibly explain that being alone in space for 40 years had basically erased social norms for him? That being comfortable eating in front of someone without shame wasn’t normal at all for Eridians? And how could he explicate how conversing with Grace has fundamentally changed the way he speaks now, the way that his grammar is now structured in a way that lends itself more to being translated easily into English than actually communicating with other Eridians? Worse still, how the hell was he going to explain the clothes thing?
Grace thought that Eridians didn’t wear clothes because Rocky never wore clothes. It wasn’t that he didn’t have clothes, he just never felt the need to wear any since he was either alone or with a human whom he thought would never see another Eridian ever. Who’s going to uphold social norms in the endless vacuum of space? Not Rocky, that’s for sure.
That was, perhaps, a bad idea in hindsight.
Grace was finished taking now, and was turned towards him, awaiting his response.
“Well? Anything come to mind?” He tapped his foot casually.
Well, it was better now than later.
Rocky looked him dead in the eyes (not that he could technically see them) and spoke.
“Rocky has something to tell Grace, but first Grace must promise not to be mad.”
Grace tilted his head slightly in a way that Rocky took to mean that he was confused or apprehensive.
“I mean sure buddy, but you have to know that you’re being very vague right now in a way that doesn’t really bode well for whatever you’re about to tell me.” In fact, it kind of reminded him of when his students were about to admit something that would definitely get a note sent home to their parents.
“But Grace still promise not to get mad, question?” Rocky pressed.
“Yes, yes, I promise.”
“Okay. Wait here.” Rocky turned away and walked further into the area designated as ‘his’ by the xenonite barrier between his and Grace’s atmospheres. He found his stuff, hastily gathered from the Eridian ship he was on initially, and rummaged through it. Finding what he was looking for, he studied it for a moment. It had been a long time since he had last seen a piece of clothing from Erid. It wasn’t difficult to put on, nor was it actually uncomfortable in any meaningful way. He wasn’t actually sure why he stopped wearing it. But that didn’t matter anymore.
He finished getting dressed and took a moment to steady himself before returning to where he had left Grace.
Grace, predictably, was more than a little confused at the sight of Rocky in what looked like the world’s weirdest pants/sweater/shirt combination ever.
“Okay. You’re wearing clothes.” He paused. “Why? Is this something you guys do for special occasions or something? I didn’t even know Eridians wore clothes like humans.”
Rocky took a moment to steel his nerves before answering.
“No. This normal for Erid. This used to be normal for Rocky also.”
“Wait, so you mean to tell me that it’s normal for Eridians to wear clothes?”
“Yes. Rocky just say that. Grace not very smart if Rocky must repeat everything sentence.” The gentle ribbing, however commonplace on the Hail Mary, did little to add levity to the conversation at hand.
“So, if Eridians wear clothes, that means that Eridians understand the concept of nudity, correct?”
“Yes.”
“And I’ve never seen you wear clothes before.”
“Yes.”
“So you’ve genuinely been walking around naked for as long as I’ve known you.” It sounded like a statement, but it also sounded like a question, so that’s what Rocky took it as.
“Yes.”
Grace sat down on the floor of the ship and rubbed his temples.
“Alright then. Do you mind telling me why?” His tone didn’t seem judgmental, but Rocky still felt as if he was on unsteady footing.
“Because there was no one to force Rocky to wear clothes. No one ever saw Rocky after Eridian crew died, and Grace was never supposed to meet another Eridian besides Rocky,” He trilled.
Grace breathed forcefully out through his nose as he dragged his hands down his face.
“Y’know what? I’ve heard worse excuses for weirder things before. Is there anything else you want to reveal to me?” Rocky wasn’t sure why Grace was so… unfazed about to whole thing. Still, he wasn’t about to ‘look an equine given as a present in the oral cavity’, as the humans say. He wasn’t entirely sure why doing so would be a bad thing, but Grace had tried multiple times to explain the saying in a way that made sense until he eventually gave up.
Grace was still waiting for an answer, so Rocky braced himself before speaking again.
“Eridians don’t eat how Rocky eats.” Grace couldn’t be sure because of his tenuous grasp of the language, but he swore Rocky sounded sheepish.
“What do you mean by that,” Grace asked slowly.
“Rocky eat in front of Grace. Other Eridians not eat in front of anyone. Eating in public shameful,” Rocky states.
Grace splutters for a moment.
“So you’ve been walking around naked and eating in front of me even though you’d basically be shunned by other Eridians for it?”
“Yes.”
“Screw it. One of my students once found a spider, brought it into the classroom, kept it in their desk, and fed it scraps of their lunch until the spider gave birth and spawned a ton of baby spiders that lived in my classroom. This is nothing in comparison.”
Grace had explained to Rocky what a spider was, and that Rocky sort of resembled one, but Rocky was confused why Grace’s student would keep a spider. Did they not belong outside? Were they pets for humans like cats?
“So what now? Do you just start wearing clothes and eating in private, or are we just supposed to pretend that this conversation never happened until we actually get to Erid? What do I do to make sure I’m following Eridian customs?” Grace decided to just move on from that story, leaving Rocky still confused but unwilling to ask any more questions.
“Rocky wear clothes now. Grace do human things like normal.”
“Yeah, okay buddy.” Grace stood up and turned back to the window where Erid was rather slowly approaching. He could hear Rocky moving around behind him, but he was more focused on his thoughts. His trusted friend, who was an experienced engineer and helped literally save two planets of intelligent life, was also apparently a nudist and dismissive of social norms—all without Grace ever realizing.
Grace realized that he should maybe start reevaluating what his idea of a normal Eridian is in order to avoid some sort of intergalactic incident. For all he knows, they could even speak completely different.
He sighed.
This was going to give him such a headache.