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"SO, MY FLITTERING FRATERNITY FAIRIES! You've all been saying recently that Jax acts like a cat, so I've been doing some research," Caine opened with after teleporting in, fiddling with his cane in the air.
"Who's been saying that?" Jax would've scrunched his nose if he had one.
Caine ignored him and repeated himself. "SO I'VE BEEN DOING SOME RESEARCH!! Aaaand I've gotten something here that I've been informed cats adore!"
Jax grinned obnoxiously. "Scratching post? I can just use Ragatha for that." ("JAX!!")
"EVEN BETTER, MY EGGSHELL-INFUSED OMELET!" He gestured vaguely above Jax with his cane, and a firework made of catnip exploded, raining down like confetti.
Ragatha and Gangle covered their mouths in shock, before Jax's disgusted look disappeared completely, his pupils dilating so much they barely left any visible yellow.
He collapsed backwards and began rubbing around on his back.
Nobody could stop themselves from laughing at the sight, before Bubble ruined it by saying [redacted].
Caine's expression dropped. "Bubble... We've been over this."
Jax flipped onto his stomach, continuing to roll around in the catnip pile.
Zooble crossed their arms watching him, though they were clearly happier than usual. "Hmph. Marginal improvement."
Jax let out a weird chirping noise and ran his face back and forth along the ground.
Gangle giggled and extended a hand to point at him. "How long is this gonna-" her smile fell as she recognized the shine in his eyes, staring at her hand.
She slowly drew it back, but his gaze remained locked on it, his short bunny tail attempting to swish like a hunting cat.
"J... Jax..." she mumbled, voice barely audible.
He swatted at her ribbon. And then he pounced.
Gangle ran.
Jax gave chase.
"AHHHHHH!! I'm not a cat toy! Guys, heeelp!" She cried, dodging out of the way as Jax pawed and swiped at her ribbons.
Kinger's hand floated over and picked Jax up by the scruff, bringing him back into the main area.
He dropped him on the floor and gave him a head rub.
Jax pulled the hand off his head and began chewing on it.
"Yoewch!" Kinger tried to pull his hand away but Jax held it tighter and continued to gnaw.
Pomni chortled into her fist. "Caine, could we maybe get a cat toy or something to distract him from attacking our limbs?"
Caine, floating cross-eyed with his fists on his hips, snapped to attention. "Huh? Oh, why OF COURSE, my dear!" He clicked his fingers, summoning a feather and bell on a long stick.
It dropped into Pomni's hands.
"Thanks!" she responded on instinct, flinching slightly as Caine screamed "YOU'RE VERY WELCOME, POMNI!" in response and continued to (very loudly) monologue about how much he enjoys pleasing everyone.
They all ignored him while Pomni held the toy out towards Jax, distracting him from clinging to and biting Kinger's hand. His eyes followed the feather as she moved it around near him, before he finally let go and began batting at it, the bell jingling with each successful swat.
The group gathered around in a circle to watch Jax play (and occasionally get distracted by Gangle's ribbons and try to bite her again instead).
They passed the stick between them all to take turns, until his swats died down and he simply sat there, palms on the ground in front of him between his spread-out legs, eyes and ears drooping like he might fall asleep.
Everyone was thinking the same thing. but the only one bold enough to actually try it was apparently Caine, floating down to pat Jax on the head and proudly announce, "SEE?? He is now plenty docile enough to be shown affection! I am SUCH a good host."
Bubble stuck his tongue out and licked the entire left side of Jax's body, leaving everyone disgusted, but also pleasantly surprised to see Jax did nothing retaliatory.
Caine snapped his fingers to remove Bubble's saliva off of Jax, and at the same time, changed his bunny avatar to be fuzzier. "There ya go! NOW-! Onto the petting, you get, you all- you all- you- all of you," he stuttered.
Kinger was the first to listen, bringing his hand over to Jax and dodging the weak swats to grab and chew it again, successfully placing his hand on Jax's head and rhythmically rubbing him between the ears.
Jax's whole torso rocked back and forth with each motion, eyes slowly falling shut and mouth slowly falling open.
Pomni carefully walked over, hesitantly giving a light scratch to the underside of his right ear, which twitched in response, but he didn't do anything else.
Gangle approached next, rubbing both his cheeks with her hands, which somewhat squished his mouth closed, and he opened his nearly-fully-shut eyes to give her a slightly confused look with his absolutely massive pupils.
"H... Hi, Jax. You're very soft," she nervously told him.
He closed his eyes again.
Ragatha joined in, petting wherever she found space. "Oh, he is soft." she smiled.
Arms crossed, Zooble snorted in amusement before asking, "Caine, what is even the point of this?"
"Huh?" Caine stopped happily watching everyone so he could answer Zooble. "OH! It's called fur therapy!! You've all been stressed lately, and why make an animal NPC for you all to pet when there's an animal RIGHT HERE??" He seemed very pleased with his own ingenuity, fists on his hips while he watched everyone petting Jax, who had his head tilted back slightly to let Gangle rub his chin.
Zooble wanted to be annoyed at Caine for doing weird crap, but the sight of Jax acting like a complete sap was too funny for them to be upset.
Pomni rubbed deeper into the crook behind his ear, producing an immediate lawnmower sound from Jax's throat, causing Zooble to double over laughing while Gangle giggled and Ragatha and Kinger cooed, Pomni too surprised to do anything but keep massaging his ear.
Bubble flew over and licked Jax again, before Caine popped him.
When Zooble finally stopped laughing and wheezing over the fact Jax could purr, Caine immediately shouted, "COME ON, ZOOBLE! Join in!!!"
"Eh... Fine," they shrugged, walking over to stand between Kinger (now rubbing Jax's back) and Ragatha (having taken the free spot between the ears), and gently ran their claw over the side of the rabbit's face.
"Huh." Their resting stern face dropped. "He actually is really soft."
"THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! It was very difficult to get the texture just right when prepping for this."
"Prepping how?"
"I put the fur design on Bubble to check how it felt! He kept popping when I pet him though, making it rather difficult to test," Caine drifted over to the petting party and idly played with the tip of Jax's left ear.
A fuzzy Bubble was an image everyone would've preferred not to picture.
***
Jax's eyes slowly flickered open as he lay sprawled out on the floor, feeling many hands all over him.
Many, many hands, petting him while their owners chatted.
As well as one creature repeatedly smacking their big tongue against his ankle and not participating in any conversation.
He nearly shot up to yell at everyone, before noticing the purring in his own throat, which threw him off enough to pause for just long enough to realize that he didn't... exactly...? want them to stop?? (Except Bubble. He did want them to stop. But oh, well.)
They all think he's still asleep anyway...
***
"So... Caine?"
"Yes, Gangle?"
She continued to run her ribbon along Jax's cheek right under his eye, the vibration of his constant light purr extending up her arm. "Normally catnip lasts for about... fifteen minutes? Aaand..." she looked down at the still-sleeping Jax and his closed, contented smile where his usual Cheshire grin would be. "I feel like it's been... longer."
"Oh, yes, Gangle, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!" He swung the arm he wasn't using to pet Jax's ear. "And I am aware! The effects of this wore off..." he checked his empty wrist. "One thousand, fifty-seven seconds ago!"
Ragatha looked down at Jax's face, now dropped into a small frown instead of cozy smile. "Oh. I guess he's still just asleep then."
"He is not." Caine happily stated, obliviously.
Everyone looked down at Jax, whose eyes were no longer closed, his mouth a grimace instead of a smile, but before anyone could say anything, he was already up and sprinting out of the room.
They all watched in shock, still sat on the floor.
Zooble broke the silence. "That.. little.. [@*&!]."