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“So. What do you want?”
“Me? Why me?”
“Because I only want one thing. And that's not what this is about anymore.”
Here they were again, at the end of the world, and Aziraphale wished he had taken the opportunity to love Crowley before. They could have had decades together, being us, but it was too late now. Everything hung on a metaphorical edge of a knife, and they had to come to an agreement before the Almighty made the decision without them. Crowley had never looked as beautiful to Aziraphale as he looked now, leaning against the apple tree and not meeting his gaze. He seemed to be deep in thought and Aziraphale knew, whatever Crowley chose, he would follow along.
“Tell me,” Crowley said. “What’s your one thing?”
Aziraphale blinked.
“I thought it was obvious,” he responded gently.
“That’s not an answer. Aziraphale, what do you want?”
“You,” Aziraphale said. “Us. However, I will go along with whatever you want.”
“Which me?” Crowley asked, crossing his arms.
“What do you mean?”
“Your little speech about the angel I used to be…” Crowley’s voice broke and he looked down, kicking at a book on the floor. “I’m not that angel anymore. And if your only wish is to be with him, I can’t help you.”
There was a low whirring noise in Aziraphale’s ears. They had been here before. They’d had this discussion before. Only Aziraphale hadn’t listened. He never heard Crowley until now.
Because Crowley was good. He was kind. He was the best person Aziraphale had ever known. When they were together, Aziraphale forgot that they were supposed to be on different sides because choosing Crowley mattered so much more than the silly games Heaven and Hell played. Somewhere along the way Aziraphale had forgotten that maybe Crowley’s identity as a former demon meant to him as much as Aziraphale’s as a former angel. He had never really understood but when he thought back at all the trauma and betrayal Crowley must have felt when he was removed from Heaven, it had to leave a lasting mark on him. Crowley had told him that he wanted the system to be dismantled while Aziraphale had been so eager to fix it. Even though Aziraphale thought that Crowley was the best of them and deserved to be an angel more than anyone, that was not what Crowley wanted.
Aziraphale had got it all so wrong.
“Crowley, I admit I had a bit of a crush, in the lack of a better term, to the Starmaker. I admired him, but I never really knew him. Not like I know you,” Aziraphale said and stepped closer to the place where Crowley was leaning on the tree. He waited until Crowley looked up and at him before saying what he should’ve said a long time ago. It was obvious really, it should have been clear without words, but if these were their last moments, he wanted Crowley to know. “Not like I love you.”
Crowley blinked and swallowed.
“You mean it, angel?” he said softly.
“Always, my love. Your friendship and companionship have always been the most important things I’ve had, and I only ever wanted you to be happy. I remember how happy the angel creating the nebulae was and I wanted you to have it again. But that’s not what you want, is it?”
“No,” Crowley said slowly. “It’s not.”
“You are better than any angel, you’re the best of us all,” Aziraphale said. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it.”
They stared at each other, and it was like the wall of ice between was melting away, and they were seeing each other for the first time after their falling out. Aziraphale would have liked nothing more than to kiss Crowley, but it wasn’t the right time for it. Yet.
Crowley seemed to agree.
“Fuck. What are we going to do, Aziraphale?”
“What do you want, Crowley?”
“I thought I knew. I want a universe that gives people a chance. No demons or angels. They deserve it,” Crowley said but hesitated a second. “But I think we also deserve a chance to be us.”
Aziraphale did some very quick thinking. This was just another cryptic crossword and there had to be a solution that didn’t mean destroying everyone and everything and starting afresh. That would make such a depressing ending to a story.
A story.
Aziraphale looked around them. They were in a bookshop after all. If they could invite God here by writing into a book, who was to say they couldn’t invite more people? People who loved humanity as much as they did and loved telling stories.
“You have an idea, don’t you?” Crowley said, interrupting his thoughts.
“How did you know?” Aziraphale asked.
“Because I also know you. You have that face when you think you’ve solved it,” Crowley said. “Let’s hear it then.”
“Do you still have the pen?”
“Sure. Do you want a book too?” Crowley asked.
“Yes, please.”
Crowley turned to the bookshelf and pulled out a faded copy of Romeo and Juliet.
“I never really liked this story,” Crowley said, frowning at the book. “Fixing problems by romanticised double suicide. What is that going to help? You will just have a bunch of dead people.”
“Darling, the book?”
“Oh, right.”
Crowley handed him the book, and Aziraphale began to write. Now that he was doing it, he wasn’t at all reassured that it would work, but he had to try something. He put the pen down and looked up. Crowley opened his mouth, likely to ask what was going to happen next, but the door of the bookshop clicked open before he could say anything.
“Late hour for customers,” Crowley muttered. In walked a young man with curly hair who looked to be a little confused about where he was and for being in a body again.
“Hello?” Jesus said. “Oh, it’s you two.”
“Hello,” Aziraphale said. “Let’s wait another minute, so we don’t have to start from the beginning twice.”
“Twice? Who else have you invited, angel?”
The bell above the door dinged again. The new arrival was several years older than the 11-year-old Antichrist they had known, but he was nevertheless Adam Young. Crowley raised his eyebrows.
“Christ and Antichrist walk into a shop?” Crowley said. “Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.”
“Both human incarnate,” Aziraphale said. “Much better than Heaven or Hell. Crowley, it was never our right to choose for humanity, but it could be theirs.”
“What’s going on?” Adam asked.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a bookshop before,” Jesus said, looking delighted. “I like stories.”
Aziraphale was going to apologise for all the books being blank, but before he could, Crowley silenced him with a hand on his arm.
“Long story short, God and Satan are in the other room. The Book of Life is gone, there’s not much left of what used to be, God wants to end this universe but gave us the choice for what to do next. So now we should figure out what to do,” Crowley explained. “Any ideas?”
Adam looked out of the still open door.
“If everything outside this shop is already gone,” he said. “Then how I see it, there are two options. Return to the old or build anew.”
Aziraphale cleared his throat.
“We would also like for Heaven and Hell to stop interfering in human business if that’s possible,” Aziraphale said.
“And not be erased in the process,” Crowley said, his hand still touching Aziraphale. It had been so long since they had been this close to each other, and Crowley’s presence brought him comfort. The hope inside him that had almost been smothered, was kindling again, because he and Crowley were again on the same side.
Adam raised an eyebrow at them.
“I see,” he said. “Well, I think starting again from the beginning would be bad. Just removing the experiences and memories of eight billion people? Nah, I don’t fancy that.”
“Not to mention, it would remove everyone in this bookshop from existence too if you wanted to go completely without Hell or Heaven,” Jesus added. “I think we can do better.”
“I think we need to negotiate,” Adam said to Jesus who nodded. “Come on. I bet they have stuff to talk about too.”
Adam and Jesus walked between the bookshelves, leaving Aziraphale and Crowley under the tree.
“I’m sorry for everything, Crowley. I hope someday, when you’re ready, you can forgive me,” Aziraphale said.
“Come here, angel,” Crowley said. His eyes were misty and Aziraphale stepped closer, letting himself be pulled into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Crowley, hands caressing his back, and felt Crowley press his face against Aziraphale’s neck.
“I missed you,” Aziraphale said. “I missed you so much.”
“I forgive you,” Crowley said. “Just… don’t do it again. Leave me alone.”
“Never,” Aziraphale said.
Someone cleared their throat nearby and Aziraphale reluctantly let go of Crowley. He pulled a handkerchief out to dry his teary eyes.
“Well then?” Aziraphale asked.
“We want to bring everything back to how it was,” Jesus said. “Or rather, how it was supposed to be.”
“We’d like your help with our plan,” Adam said.
“What’s the plan?” Crowley asked.
“Do you trust us?” Jesus asked.
Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other and both nodded.
“There’s a little secret to the building blocks of the universe,” Jesus said. “Opposites working together will always create things better.”
“That’d mean the son of God and the son of Satan…” Adam said.
“Or an angel and a demon…” Jesus added.
“Cooperating will create bigger miracles,” Adam said.
“That explains some things,” Crowley muttered. “So what do we do then?”
“Take my hand,” Jesus said, taking Crowley’s hand and grasping Adam’s with the other one. Aziraphale took a hold of Adam’s hand and offered his to Crowley, who reached for it immediately, completing the circle.
“We just need some extra boost to make it happen,” Adam said. “Hold on and trust us.”
Aziraphale felt the molecules all around them start moving and reshaping themselves. He closed his eyes and let the miracle energy flow through him, not like it used to for little miracles, but from deep inside, like it had when they had been creating planets and galaxies before the beginning of time. Crowley’s hand squeezed his and he held on to dear life. Images of creation were whirring in his head until…
It stopped. Things were settling down around them. For a moment it was quiet like the universe itself was drawing a deep breath.
A noise of a car horn outside made Aziraphale open his eyes. Through the windows, sun was shining from a between the clouds, and the Whickber Street was buzzling with people running their daily errands. Nina was crossing the street on her way back to the coffee shop and Mutt was chatting with his spouse in front of the bookshop. The Bentley was parked in its normal spot, and the windowsill was full of Crowley’s plants, reaching towards the sunshine.
“We made some changes,” Adam said. “It’s not exactly like it used to be but everyone should be back.”
“What… what about…?” Aziraphale asked.
“Your guests aren’t in the other room anymore if that’s what you’re wondering,” Adam said. “They’re in a little bubble universe along with Heaven and Hell. They can visit. They can do miracles. They just have no power to influence people anymore. No temptations, on either side.”
“The afterlife has been modernized too,” Jesus said. “But you don’t need to know the details, do you? I expect that you two don’t want to visit those places much in the future.”
“Not really, no,” Crowley agreed.
“I should get back,” Adam said. “I’m supposed to be studying for a test, now that everything’s back to normal. Do you want to go with me? I could show you all the cool stuff about the modern world.”
Jesus nodded.
“Sounds great. Can we get some pizza on the way? I really like pizza,” he answered.
“Sure,” Adam said. “Take care, you two.”
“Bye,” Crowley and Aziraphale said. Aziraphale called a thank you after them.
“Do you like stories?” Jesus asked when he opened the bookshop door.
“Oh yeah! When I was a kid, I used to write all kinds of stories about aliens and cowboys—”
The door closed behind them and Aziraphale rushed to lock it. Meanwhile Crowley had walked to the closest shelf and took a book out.
“It’s all back,” Crowley said. “The text is like it’s supposed to be.”
Then he looked towards Aziraphale’s desk. The inkwell on it turned into a turnip and back.
“Miracles seemed to be working too. That’s good,” Crowley said. Aziraphale walked to him.
“Crowley,” Aziraphale said. “What do you want to do now?”
“Well, we’re free, aren’t we?” Crowley said, snapping the book he was still holding shut and placing it back on the shelf. “What do you want?”
“I already told you,” Aziraphale smiled. “I want only one thing. You. Us.”
Crowley pushed him against a bookshelf and pressed his lips against Aziraphale’s. Aziraphale cradled his head and pulled him closer as he returned the kiss. It was soft and deep, and neither of them had any need to be anywhere else in the world.
“Just so you know,” Crowley said. “I, uh, I love you too.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that, darling,” Aziraphale smiled. “But I do like hearing the words.”
“I’d like to get out of town for a while,” Crowley said, leaning his forehead against Aziraphale’s. “To the countryside. Take a road trip.”
“I assume this is an invitation for me to come with you,” Aziraphale said.
“Obviously,” Crowley said. “It’s just– Even though the street is back to how it used to be–”
“You associate it with bad memories now,” Aziraphale said and caressed Crowley’s cheek. “Crowley…”
“Don’t. It’s forgiven.”
“It would be nice to get out of the city,” Aziraphale said. “Maybe seaside?”
“Sounds great, angel. The coast should be great this time of the year.”
Aziraphale kissed Crowley again, pulling him from his jacket lapels against his own body.
“Can it wait until tomorrow? I rather think we should have dinner tonight,” Aziraphale said.
“Mmm, I could be tempted to accept,” Crowley said.
“I wonder if there’s any way I could contact Muriel,” Aziraphale wondered. “They always liked the shop and enjoyed being on Earth, it seemed. They might like to look after the shop for a while. Spend some more time figuring out how things work over here.”
“You have miracles, angel. Maybe you can just call them on the phone,” Crowley said. “Or maybe they’ll just come visit as soon as upstairs and downstairs figure out things have changed.”
“Maybe,” Aziraphale said, not really that worried about what was going to happen next. Even if the bookshop was going to be left alone for a little while or if some things would be different from now on.
They were free and he had Crowley. They could figure it out. He had everything he’d ever wanted.
-fin-