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Caelus was never one to get rattled by much. Not when he’d faced off against the doomsday beast, not when he was stabbed through the chest, and not even when he faced off against Phantylia, a lord ravager.
But being possessed by cirrus was the last straw.
In every circumstance that he’d faced, he’d been in control with the enemy in front of him. He had never seen himself as the enemy he needed to fight. The enemy had never been him before.
That’s why he had trudged his way back to express, nauseous, with a pounding head, and didn’t even bother to acknowledge who he passed by.
He stared forward at the fridge in his room, plastered with notes and kind words, now sitting on the end of his bed. It could have been hours since the fight; he wouldn’t know. His mind was moving too fast for his body to keep up with it. No one had questioned how he seemed desperate to get back to the express, to get home. No one on the xianzhou, at least.
To his dismay, there’s a knock on his door which breaks his mind soothing stare. He forced himself to stand, which took way too much effort, and went to open the door for whoever needed something from him this time. He didn’t expect to open the door to a concerned Dan Heng.
“Dan Heng, you alright?” He muttered, confused as the vidiyadhara hadn’t left his room for days, choosing to hide and process a lot of what he was feeling. The silver-haired trailblazer assumed Dan Heng came here because he finally wanted to open up.
Dan Heng stepped his way into Caelus’ room, inviting himself in, Caelus having gotten used to this by now. People always invited themselves into his room, used his stuff, used him.
Then they left when they got what they wanted.
“Caelus, I feel the need to push this matter. Something is different with you,” Dan Heng stated, bluntly, “ and I want to know what.”
“What do you mean?” Caelus asked, feigning ignorance. Caelus was surprised by the vidiyadharas' bluntness. Sure, Dan Heng could be harsh, but he was empathetic, too.
“Don’t even try to lie to me,” Dan Heng stepped to meet Caelus where he had moved to be by the fridge to grab out drinks, the vidiyadara examining him closely, “are you wounded? You seem to have bruises and many cuts.” Dan Heng circled him like a vulture, eyeing every piece of skin he could see on Caelus’ body, not that Caelus was complaining. He could admit, though he’d been more hurt than usual, tossed around like a doll.
“I was helping people on the Luofu, and I ran into some trouble. Got into a couple of fights as usual.” Caelus tried to lighten the mood with a soft chuckle, which felt like it took everything out of him. He cracked his soda, some vending machine drink from the Xianzhou, not mung bean soda, never mung bean soda.
Dan Heng looked less than convinced. Caelus was technically not lying; he had been helping, and he had gotten into a fight. Little did Dan Heng know he’d also been possessed, fought a heliobus, and gotten trapped in a mirror dimension. He didn’t mention how possession is not. Fucking. Fun.
Slowly, Dan Heng grabbed the trailblazer's arm, piling him to sit on his gaming chair in the corner of the room, and if caelus hadnt known better hed have thought he was about to have a great time. Sadly, not though, as Dan Heng stood, gathering the med kit that Caelus had made in his bathroom, and kneeling in front of the trailblazer.
DanHeng put his hand out for Caelus' arm, “May I?”
“Sure?”
It didn’t take long for Dan Heng to get to work on cleaning Caelus’s body from scrapes and cuts. After they’d finished, it was obvious to Dan Heng Caelus had more than just his regular adventures because of a slightly deep gash on his torso, one that the heliobus itself had given the boy. His strangely golden blood dripped from the wound. Caelus had hissed harshly as the cleaning solution had been applied. Getting stabbed was fine, but this somehow hurt worse.
Maybe being cared for hurt worse.
“There, you should be alright,” Dan Heng stood, disposing of the used medical supplies, “now I think you should tell me the whole truth, please.”
Caelus froze, noticing the way Dan Heng had seen right through him. Sure, Caelus had never been a good liar, but that had been the truth! It was just another fight where he’d helped someone and ended up in a fight; it’s a normal thing, and he’s used to it!
So why was he so unsure of that fact?
“It’s not something you would relate to,” Caelus mumbled, before adding, “I mean, I don’t think you have.”
Dan Heng turned to face him now, shrugging, “Try me.”
“I got possessed.”
Dan heng nodded warily.
“By a heliobus that later tried to kill me, and trapped me temporarily in a labyrinth, and caused me to berate a friend of mine."
“I see.”
“It's dead now, er, well, not here at least.”
“That's good.”
Then it was quiet and awkward. Dan Heng didn't speak for a moment, the black-haired boy piecing together what to say next, Caelus assumed. How to say it, more so.
“You are not wrong,” Dan Heng breaks the tension, shifting to cross his legs instead, “I have not been possessed, used like that. But I share a body with a mind, and a history that is not fully my own,”
Caelus opened his mouth, obviously trying to reassure Dan Heng that the vidyadharas' situation was much worse, but Dan Heng wasn't done,
“You had no control, and I can't imagine to its full extent how that feels. Even if I don't get it, I want to understand. After all, I do care very deeply for you, Cae. " I can sense your distress, maybe from my biology, or maybe because i feel so much for you, and all i can ask is that you tell me what it is that causes you to feel undone,” the black haired man returns the makeshift med kit to where it belongs, returning to stand sit on the edge of the bed, closest to his grey haired partner.
Caelus felt a knot coil in his throat, sting behind his eyes, like someone had taken his esophagus, tied it into a bow and was using both ends for tug of war. He didn't want to speak. He had to calm down, so he sat and waited for Dan Heng to say more, or to hopefully decide it was useless and just leave so he could curl up in the bath and cry like always.
And Dan Heng knew what he was doing. The stubborn little fucker didn't move.
“Please, give me something to work with, 甜心.”
Curse his stupid, stupid brain.
He's always hated these feelings, it made him sick.
Crying.
Somehow, he spilled out of his chair, maybe pulled down, hands wiping at flowing tears. He doesn't see Dan Heng's movement, but senses him in every other way, warm arms and the scent of green tea. Tears spilled over his eyes, and he cried, painfully so, because he was so done with being well kept and steady.
He didn't know whether he was crying too loudly, who could hear, or if he was hurting Dan Heng's ears. He wanted to care, but his brain was melted into a soft moldable shape, and maybe the kind words Dan Heng crooned, between reminding him to breathe, actually made their mark.
He knows one thing, and it's that Dan Heng didn't move once, even if his legs had gone numb where Caelus sat
When the Trailblazer pries open his puffy, red eyes, he's still sat where he was, head against the chest of his black-haired lover, and a tail that hadn't been there before now wrapped around him and brushing up and down his chest.
He smelt cosmic fried rice.
Suddenly, that was his priority, fuck crying, (and trying not to feel ill after.)
It sat in front of Dan Heng and Caelus, and Dan Heng sensed the change in the man below him. Heard his stomach growl, too.
And he laughed, “feeling better now, I take it?”
“When’d you get this?” Caelus questioned, but one thing he didn't question was its legitimacy as he scarfed it down. How long had it been since his last meal?
Dan Heng shrugged, “I didn't, Welt heard your crying and asked what I needed, so I asked if he could bring up some food for after. Your stomach has been grumbling this entire time.”
Caelus flushed, so Welt knew. And if Welt knew, then so did the rest of the astral express. However kind he can be, if someone asks about what's happened, then he’ll tell them.
He never keeps worrying issues to himself. It was admirable, really.
“You’re safe here, 甜心, I promise you it's not here. Even if it was, I’d handle it, let you sleep for a bit,” Dan Heng reassured, mumbling into the crown of Caelus's head.
Maybe his mushy brain had taken in some of what Dan Heng said, because the way he spoke so smoothly to him soothed his already sleepy brain further.
So he just hummed in response; he knew Dan Heng got the gist of it. The latter male kissed his face with peppered, gentle pecks, and somehow Caelus was eventually lying in bed, changed and showered, with Dan Heng lying at his side, scratching at his scalp, soothing what was left of his frazzled mind.
They'd talk later; he needed to elaborate hard on what he'd said, but Dan Heng couldn't be happier right where he was.