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Caring makes you hurt and caring makes you bleed. Caring means you've got something to lose, and the losing... The losing hurts like hell.
It's easy for Kei to be cold and distant, worrying his thoughts far away with things that can't disappoint him.
Kei can sit alone in the corner of his bedroom on that far too old and needs replacing bean bag, eyes closed and breathing light, words playing in his ears that mean nothing to him, and yet he persists to drown the world out with them.
Completed homework on his desk and volleyball uniform washed and folded on his chair, ready for the next day that he hasn't bothered himself yet with putting in his bag.
The sun has long set and stars illuminate his bedroom coldly and the words in his ears... They don't stop, blurring together and Kei couldn't pick them apart even if he wanted to.
His phone vibrates in his hand but his eyes just feel so heavy that he can't care to look.
He's been called broken before, and didn't feel the sting because sometimes, when he's sitting alone in the dark with that one song on loop he wonders if he's broken too.
But caring makes you hurt. He's seen proof of that in Akiteru time and time again so can be really be blamed for building a fort around himself?
Kei doesn't need anything that might hurt him, doesn't want it either.
He's better off alone, protected; he's heard his brother crying into the night even though his cries are muffled by his pillow.
He doesn't open his eyes as he hears the door push open and closed and soft footsteps on his carpet padding over to him.
His earbuds are pulled from his ears and there's gentle arms around him and soft lips pressing to his forehead.
'Tadashi.' Is the whisper that leaves his lips and then Tadashi's head settles in the crook of Kei's neck and he's being held, something so foreign and yet so familiar. His eyes open as he lets out a shaky breath, not having realised how close to tears he had brought himself.
Tadashi murmurs against Kei's neck in response and Kei's arms find their way around Tadashi, holding him close.
He doesn't question why Tadashi is here, or how he knew to come, content with the scent of Tadashi's cinnamon spice shampoo and the warmth of his body, gently warming Kei.
Neither of them speak; they don't need to. Tadashi is softly humming a melody that Kei can't quite place but it's somehow comforting as he laces his fingers through Tadashi's soft hair.
Caring makes you hurt. Caring means you've got something to lose and the losing hurts like hell.
It's easy for Kei to be cold and distant, worrying his thoughts far away with things that can't disappoint him.
But Kei doesn't feel cold, he feels warm with Tadashi in his lap, arms around him and humming softly against his skin.
And Kei's worrying his thoughts right here, on each of the little freckles he can see on Tadashi's back in the space between where his sweater ends and his trousers begin and the melody he's humming, so much simpler and calming than that song with the words that he doesn't understand the meaning behind.
His skin doesn't burn where Tadashi's lips press, doesn't tingle, just feels pleasantly warm.
And Kei feels a hell of a lot better than a mere few hours earlier so maybe it could be worth the risk to care.
It doesn't feel like this will make him bleed.
This, right here, right now, feels safe.
Tadashi feels safe and Tadashi feels warm and Tadashi is most definitely worth the risk.