Work Text:
Interviewer: ”So, Vice-Captain Lohen. As you should know by now, I’m Charlotte from the Steambird, and I’ll be conducting an interview with you today—as per our collaboration with the Knights of Favonius. A tiny word of caution: we will be quoting you on your answers, so do remain honest! Our transcript begins here. Please state your name and position for the record.”
Lohen: ”Lohen, Vice-Captain of the Fifth Company under the Knights of Favonius.”
Interviewer: ”Thank you! Are you prepared for the questions?”
Lohen: ”I’ll only know if you ask them.”
Interviewer: ”True, true! Anyway, question one… what inspired you to join the Knights of Favonius?”
Lohen: ”Adorno.”
Interviewer: ”…could you elaborate more? How did ‘Adorno’ inspire you, exactly?”
Lohen: ”He used blunt arrows.”
Interviewer: ”…”
Lohen: ”He rescued me from a kidnapping once.”
Interviewer: ”…perhaps this is a personal story that we can hold off for now, thank you for sharing! Question two: How long have you been with the Knights of Favonius?”
Lohen: ”Long enough.”
Interviewer: ”Are you able to specify?”
Lohen: ”No.”
Interviewer: ”I—fair! Leaving the timeline unnamed keeps you mysterious, after all. Question three: What is your opinion on the work culture of the Knights of Favonius?”
Lohen: ”I think it’s mediocre. Not a lot of people can match my energy, and the ones who do are too busy to engage with me anyway.”
Interviewer: ”I see! Very… interesting. Maybe it’s natural, since you are in a company of valiant individuals and everyone is out busy fighting! Question four: Is there anyone in particular that you look up to or consider a role model?”
Lohen: ”Grandmaster Varka.”
Interviewer: ”Ooh, the top of the chain! A fantastic pick. What qualities about him do you admire?”
Lohen: ”He never gets taken down by the substances I put in his drinks. He’s persistent. Resilient in diplomatic terms.”
Interviewer: ”O-Oh… yes, Grandmaster Varka does come off as a tough person! Now, moving on to question five: What would you say is your greatest strength?”
Lohen: ”Fighting.”
Interviewer: ”It certainly shows! And your greatest weakness?”
Lohen: ”Not fighting.”
Interviewer: ”…that’s the same answer, I think!”
Lohen: ”Is it?”
Interviewer: ”Eh… next question! Question six: Are there any heavy challenges you’ve faced in life that have stuck with you?”
Lohen: ”Uh. Not really.”
Interviewer: ”Are you sure? Maybe rack your brain a little, I’m sure something’ll come up!”
Lohen: ”…nope.”
Interviewer: ”Ah, that’s alright. Question seven: What are the daily responsibilities that come with your position as Vice-Captain?”
Lohen: ”Fighting. And paperwork.”
Interviewer: ”Very direct and clear-cut. Sounds like a straightforward job! Question eight: What do you do in your free time, when you’re not on duty?”
Lohen: ”Fight.”
Interviewer: ”…hmm, an intriguing answer. Would that be considered as overtime…? Question nine: Do you prefer working alone, or with other knights as a team?”
Lohen: ”I would take down a whole battlefield alone if I had to. But having my colleagues as backup is nice to some extent, I guess.”
Interviewer: ”Noted, noted… speaking of other knights, question ten: How do you handle disagreements with other knights on missions?”
Lohen: ”Rarely happens. But on the occasion that it does, I just knock some sense into their heads.”
interviewer: ”Ha… I see what you mean. Now for question eleven: What do you look for when training new recruits?”
Lohen: ”Their drive to fight.”
Interviewer: ”To defend and protect Mondstadt, yes! The most basic requirement. Question twelve: What is something you wish you were better at?”
Lohen: ”Fighting.”
Interviewer: ”Haha… Personally, I think you’re good enough... but I digress! Question thirteen: Do you think your reputation as the ‘Sharpened Arrowhead’ is accurate?”
Lohen: ”Yes.”
Interviewer: ”…yes? Is that all?”
Lohen: ”Yes.”
Interviewer: ”Okay, alright… Question fourteen, and this is a question asked by many: Why do you use a spear instead of a bow despite being in the Fifth Company?”
Lohen: ”It’s more efficient. Charging headfirst into a battle is more fun than just flinging arrows from the sidelines anyway.”
Interviewer: ”Mhm, I see the logic there. And our final question: What does being the Vice-Captain of your company mean to you?”
Lohen: ”I get to fight.”
Interviewer: ”Ah…? Nothing about honour, or?”
Lohen: ”Nah. I get to enjoy the thrill of fighting and protect Mondstadt at the same time.”
Interviewer: ”There’s the answer we were looking for… oh, right. Thank you for your time and cooperation, Vice-Captain Lohen! Do you have anything else to add for the papers?”
Lohen: ”No.”
Interviewer: ”A-Alright! Thank you once again!”
Editor’s Notes: Regrettably, the interviewee left the room before we could request for pictorial transcripts, so only the audio converted to text is provided.
“What the fuck were those answers? Never in my life have I interviewed someone so crude!”
“Now, now, Charlotte. He has a reputation for that personality. All the more why we asked to interview him.”
“But—But! His answers were so short! I couldn’t even think of any prompts towards the end! How are we supposed to publish this!?”
“We’ll figure something out…”