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Aubrey always preferred silence to the company of other people. Always secluded herself to a corner when a crowd gets too boisterous. On the far end of the beach, she sat by the rocks, a bottle of beer in her hand and the sound of waves crashing against the shore. Above her, the night sky was adorned with stars and constellations, more than she could name. It's a rare sight in the city they escaped from, so she took it all in one last time.
It was the last night of the beach trip she and her friends had planned weeks before their college graduation. It called for drinks and music and a lot of drunken dancing before they went home to their respective provinces. Aubrey couldn’t really say no.
-----
“I don’t know, guys. I need to be home that week. My parents—”
“Aw come on, Aubs. I know your parents are strict, but we could talk to them for you,” Sophie pleaded.
“Yeah, everyone’s going to be there. Who knows how long it’ll be till we see each other again. Plus, Gillian will be there.” Val teased, a smirk growing on her face, knowing that her friend wouldn’t pass up the chance to get close to the girl she likes.
Aubrey blushed, the gears in her mind stopping at the thought of Gillian coming. “Fine, fine! Only because I’m gonna miss you guys,” She conceded, a small smile growing on her lips.
Her friends squealed and bounced with excitement. “Okay, it’s settled. I’m going to book us a resort. Val, you message Aubrey’s parents,” Sophie instructed. She was always the planner, the Type A friend who organized the hell out of everything. The most reliable one if they ever get lost without signal or a map.
-----
Aubrey’s crush on Gillian started in their third year. They were classmates in some of her classes. On an exam, only minutes were left, and Aubrey was still struggling to find the answers.
Someone sitting one her right noticed and whispered, “Hey, copy mine.” She slid her test paper towards Aubrey, letting her take a look of her solvings.
Aubrey turned to look toward the source of the sound and, for a brief moment, forgot she was in the middle of an exam. The girl behind her had a warm smile that made it difficult to focus on much else. She thought she looked familiar, and that’s when it dawned on her—she saw her once in freshman orientation. She never forgets a face. She just never expected that they would ever cross paths again.
“Eyes on your own paper.” Their professor announced.
“Thanks,” Aubrey whispered back as she squinted her eyes to see her paper. She scribbled hurriedly before submitting it to her professor just in time.
Since that day, Gillian always said hi and smiled at Aubrey when they pass each other on campus. And every time, her dazzling smile lit up her day, anticipating the next time she sees her again.
In class, they had gotten paired up for an assignment, much to Aubrey’s excitement. Whenever they had free periods, they met up either at the library or a café just outside campus, where they pored over research papers and journals just to find the right reference for their proposal.
Most of the time, Aubrey was paired up with classmates who didn’t even show up to do their part, and she had to work double to compensate. It was refreshing to finally work with someone who cared about their academics.
As Aubrey rushed to the café, she adjusted her glasses and saw that Gillian was already there, typing away on her laptop. She was so locked in that she didn’t notice Aubrey pulling up a chair to sit in front of her. Gillian sat in the spot they always sat in. A corner at the far end of the café, situated by a window, not too hidden but also not too public that allowed any distraction. It was their spot.
After weeks of working together, it was easy to fall into a routine with Gillian. She’s calm, easygoing, and knows how to handle things under pressure. She even has the sense of humor that matches Aubrey’s. On their breaks, they watch a single episode of some sitcom they’re currently into while munching on pastries.
“Hi, Gill, so sorry I’m late. Sir Orson dismissed class so late and I had to stop by Ma’am Santos’ office for a consultation,” She didn’t know why she was explaining and quickly shut down an oncoming ramble.
“Oh, hi, Aubs! Didn’t notice you there. It’s okay, I just sat down actually. I ordered you a muffin and a coffee. Iced caffè macchiato, right?” Aubrey’s cheeks warmed at the nickname and the thought of Gillian remembering her order and buying it for her.
“Yeah, thanks so much! I needed that. How much do I owe you?” Aubrey bashfully asked as she took a sip of the coffee and took out her laptop.
“Don’t worry, it’s on me.” Gillian shook her head and smiled warmly.
“You sure? It’s on me next time.” Aubrey blushed again. She always gets flustered around Gillian, especially when she does small things like this. She wonders if she’s doing it because she likes her or just out of the kindness of her heart. Probably the second one, given that’s how they met.
Gillian replied jokingly, “Sure, if you get here first.”
“Excuse you, I’m not always late.” Gillian teasingly raised an eyebrow. “… not on purpose, at least,” Aubrey quickly added, cheeks flushed, as they laughed and bantered even further.
Gillian laughed, shaking her head. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
As they settled into their work, Aubrey reached for the muffin and paused.
“Wait,” she frowned. “Blueberry?”
“Yeah. It’s your favorite, right?”
“I don't think I’ve ever ordered blueberry around you.”
Gillian looked up from her laptop. “You mentioned it once after our Gender and Society quiz.”
Aubrey blinked.
The conversation had happened almost a month ago—in passing, while they were walking out of the lecture hall. She hadn’t expected Gillian to remember.
“You remembered that?”
Gillian shrugged as if it were nothing. “Of course I did.”
Aubrey looked down at the muffin before Gillian could notice the smile threatening to form on her face.
They worked in comfortable silence for a while, the occasional clicking of keyboards filling the space between them.
Gillian leaned over to show Aubrey something on her screen. Their shoulders brushed for only a second. It shouldn’t have meant anything. Yet Aubrey found herself rereading the same sentence three times, unable to remember what it said.
-----
The proposal was eventually submitted, but Aubrey and Gillian kept finding reasons to spend time together.
What started as meetings for coursework turned into coffee runs before morning classes, shared lunches between lectures, and late-night messages about deadlines neither of them wanted to think about. Somewhere along the way, the routine they had built around each other stopped feeling temporary.
When enrollment for the next semester opened, Aubrey tried to hide how happy she was when she ended up sharing classes with Gillian once more.
“Looks like you're stuck with me for another semester,” Gillian joked on the first day, sliding into the seat beside her.
Aubrey rolled her eyes and told her to get over herself, but secretly, she couldn't have been happier.
From then on, sitting together became second nature. Gillian saved Aubrey a seat whenever she arrived late, and Aubrey shared her notes whenever Gillian missed something during class. They had become friends.
And for Aubrey, that was both the best and worst thing that could have happened. The best because she got to spend time with Gillian. And the worst because she had to listen to her talk lovingly about a guy she was seeing.
It crushed her because the more she got to know Gillian, the harder it became to convince herself that friendship was all she wanted.
-----
She never even planned on telling anyone about her doomed crush. Until she did—drunkenly, on a truth or dare she played with Sophie, Val, and Bennett, her friends since first year. It was the end of their final exams, so they spent the night at Sophie’s apartment to celebrate, huddled on her carpet, surrounding a small table with drinks and chips. Drinking games now abandoned.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this. I’m looking at you, Val,” Aubrey warned. She found out long ago that Gillian was a friend of Val’s from high school. Quite the small world they live in.
“What? I wasn’t going to, you simp,” Val countered instantly. She was the extroverted one in their group. The friend who had connections and always knew at least one person in every place they went.
All four of them were assigned to be groupmates for a project on their first year and instantly hit it off. Even Bennett, the one who said the least words, finally opened up to them, feeling at ease in the shared chaos of their group.
“I heard Gill's single again. Not sure if she’s into girls, though,” Sophie added.
“Not sure if she’s into Aubrey, you mean,” Val quipped, turning to high-five Bennett, who broke into a series of taunting “ooooh’s”, laughing at Aubrey’s demise.
“Shut up. I’m not planning on confessing, anyway. What’s the point? I don’t want to risk losing what we have,” Aubrey defended.
“Which is?” Bennett questioned.
“Friendship.”
“Girl, that is just sad,” Val snorted before passing the drink to Aubrey, who was now lying on the floor. “Your turn, babes. Drink up.”
“Aubs, I’m saying this as a friend who’s concerned for your lovelife, you need to shoot your shot. Take the risk or lose the chance again, right? We’re graduating soon. It could be the last time! You wouldn’t want to live with regrets, would you?” Sophie pointed out, ever the optimist when it came to love.
“Maybe not right now. I’m still thinking about it. On graduation maybe, when we won’t see each other again in case things go south,” Aubrey replied before downing the last of her shot.
The truth is, she’d already written a letter of confession, which was now tucked away safely inside the trenches of her closet. Not because she wanted to give it to Gillian, but because she wanted to let her feelings go by writing them down. It didn’t help her case.
“Your call. We’re here for you no matter what decision you make. Right, guys?” Sophie turned to look at the rest of them. They agreed, adding a chorus of encouragements.
“Yeah, for sure.” Val nodded. “She’d be blind not to see how much of a catch you are, Aubs. If she doesn’t, then I’ll be here for the alcohol.”
“And watch you get wasted and cry about your ex again?” Aubrey retorted.
“Hey, that was two months ago! You’re the one moping and pining for your unrequited crush as we speak,” Val argued as they laughed and fell into a comfortable silence.
Seconds later, Bennett suddenly broke out into the chorus of Niki’s “Take a Chance on Me,” startling everyone before joining in, beginning another round of teasing Aubrey.
-----
And so there she was, escaping the crowd and slipping into peace on the last night of their getaway before summer and adulthood settle in. Aubrey needed a breather before going back to the people she made friends with throughout college, including Gillian.
A notification pinged, lighting up the phone placed by her foot. It was probably a text from their group chat, asking Aubrey where she went or saying how she missed seeing their friends making fools of themselves. She turned the phone on Do Not Disturb and didn’t bother to check.
Aubrey heard footsteps approaching, and the sand gave way slightly to her right as she felt someone sitting beside her.
“Thought I’d find you here.”
Aubrey turned toward the familiar voice and found Gillian settling into the sand beside her.
“Why?” she asked, unable to resist. “Were you looking for me?”
A smile tugged at Gillian’s lips. “You’re one to make assumptions.”
“Deflecting, I see.”
Gillian laughed softly and shook her head. “I just needed some air. Besides, everyone knows this is where you’d be.”
“Oh?”
“You disappear whenever there are more than five people in one place.”
“That’s not true.”
“It absolutely is.”
Aubrey huffed, taking a sip of her beer. “Fine. Maybe a little.”
“Good.”
Aubrey frowned. “Why’s that?”
Gillian looked out at the ocean before turning to look at Aubrey. “Means I don’t have to share you with the party for a little while.”
Aubrey hated how warm that made her feel. She looked down at her feet. The corners of her lips twitched upward despite her best efforts.
The conversation faded as quickly as it had started. They sat shoulder to shoulder, listening to the waves roll against the shore. Behind them, laughter drifted from the resort, softened by distance.
Staring at the horizon, Aubrey pondered and voiced out, “I’ve been thinking. A few months from now, we’ll probably never all be in the same place again.”
Gillian kept playing with the sand at her feet and replied, “That’s a depressing thought.”
“It’s a realistic one.”
Gillian turned her full attention to Aubrey and asked, “Okay, question. I know this sounds cliché, but what do you see yourself doing in, say, five or ten years?”
Aubrey, though uncertain and hesitant, laughed lightly before saying, “Ooh, that’s a tough one. I don’t know, maybe I’d be in med school, going home every day to my girlfriend and our two cats in the apartment we share. In ten years, maybe we’d have, like, a big fat Greek wedding in Skopelos. Like in Mamma Mia.”
Gillian burst out laughing. “Okay, doc, you’re gonna be out there saving lives. But a Greek wedding in Skopelos?”
“What?” Aubrey gasped, feigning offense. “Mamma Mia is like my moodboard, we’d have to remake the whole singing and dancing parts.” She laughed at her own joke. “If I’m going to get married, I might as well commit to the bit.”
“The bit being?”
“Being insufferably in love.”
The words slipped out before she could stop them. Aubrey immediately took another swig of her beer, pretending she hadn’t said anything.
Beside her, Gillian was quiet.
When Aubrey finally glanced over, she found Gillian already looking at her.
“That’s kind of nice, actually,” Gillian said.
“The wedding?”
“No… not just that.” Gillian cleared her throat and looked back toward the ocean. “I mean having someone to go home to.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The waves rolled in and out against the shore.
“What’s your answer, then?” Aubrey asked softly. “Where will you be? Five years. Ten years.”
Gillian hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Hopefully somewhere I don’t hate. Hopefully doing something that matters.”
“That’s all? How vague of you.”
Gillian smiled. “And maybe a couple of cats.”
Aubrey laughed. “Only a couple?”
“Okay, maybe three.”
“Three is a slippery slope.”
“Coming from the woman planning a destination wedding?”
Aubrey groaned and buried her face in her hands. “You are never letting that go.”
“Absolutely not.”
They laughed, but as the moment faded, so did the ease that came with it. The waves continued their steady rhythm against the shore. Aubrey stared at the horizon.
“Aren’t you curious?” she asked quietly.
“About what?”
“The girlfriend.”
Gillian blinked. “The hypothetical one?”
“Yeah.”
A smile tugged at Gillian’s lips. “Should I be?”
Aubrey swallowed and just shrugged. Suddenly, the beer in her hand became very interesting.
“I don’t know. Should you?”
The words came out softer than she intended.
Beside her, Gillian waited. No teasing. No jokes. Just waiting.
Aubrey let out a nervous laugh. “This is stupid.”
“What is?”
She picked at the label on her bottle.
“I think...” She paused. “I think part of the reason I can’t picture out my future clearly is because every time I do, you’re somehow there.”
Silence.
The kind that made her pulse roar in her ears.
Aubrey laughed again, except this time it sounded strained.
“God, that sounded way less embarrassing in my head.”
Still, Gillian said nothing. Aubrey forced herself to continue.
“I know we just graduated and everyone’s going their separate ways and maybe this is a terrible time to say it, but...” She rambled on as she let out a shaky breath. “I like you, Gill.”
The confession hung between them.
No takebacks. No pretending she meant something else. Just the truth.
“I have… since third year, when you risked getting caught by our prof just so you could help me, a stranger, no less, to finish my exam.”
Aubrey stared firmly ahead at the ocean.
“You can go ahead and reject me now and I can just walk straight into the sea to drown myself.”
That finally earned a laugh from Gillian.
A small one. Tender. Music to Aubrey’s ears.
When Aubrey finally gathered the courage to look at her, Gillian was already looking back. She was smiling—not the amused smile she offered so freely, nor the polite one reserved for acquaintances. This smile was gentler, touched with something that made Aubrey’s heart stutter.
“Good,” Gillian said quietly, “because I wasn’t planning on rejecting you.”
Gillian held Aubrey’s gaze. The hands sitting between them now inched towards each other to close the gap. She pushed a stray strand of hair from Aubrey’s face and tucked it behind her ear, fingers brushing against her cheek. She let her hand linger, feeling the heat radiating from Aubrey’s skin.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” Gillian whispered. Her half-lidded gaze fixed on Aubrey’s lips.
“What’s stopping you?” Aubrey whispered back, surprising herself by her boldness. Maybe the liquid courage was taking effect. That’s all it took for Gillian to lean in and let her lips touch Aubrey’s. It knocked the air out of her lungs. The bottle in her hand was long forgotten as it hit the sand.
The kiss was soft. Tentative. As though they were both afraid that moving too quickly would shatter the moment. Aubrey felt her heart hammer against her ribs. Gillian’s hand remained cupped against her cheek, thumb brushing lightly against her skin as she tilted her head ever so slightly. Her other hand snaked into Aubrey’s waist, fingers soothing the skin peeking from her shirt.
The touch sent warmth flooding through Aubrey’s chest and a shiver down her spine. Emboldened, she brought her hand to Gillian’s neck, softly caressing its way to her shoulder.
When they finally pulled away, they remained close enough for their foreheads to nearly touch.
Aubrey readjusted her glasses and let out a shaky laugh. “Wow.”
“Wow?” Gillian echoed, smiling.
“Sorry, my brain stopped working somewhere between the confession and the kiss.”
She had spent months, even years, wondering what it would be like if Gillian liked her back. She had imagined what it might be like to kiss her. She had imagined stolen glances, lingering touches, and impossible what-ifs. But nothing had prepared her for this. Nothing had prepared her for how gentle Gillian was. Or how naturally Aubrey found herself leaning closer.
None of them came close to this. None of them came close to the way Gillian was looking at her now.
For a moment, the rest of the world seemed to fade away—the distant music from the party, the crash of the waves against the shore, even the nervous thoughts that had been running circles in her head all evening.
There was only Gillian. Only the warmth of her hand against her cheek and the realization that this was real.
“So,” Gillian said softly, “you had a crush on me for what, like a year now?”
Aubrey groaned and covered her face. “Oh my God, stop.”
Gillian laughed, gently tugging one of Aubrey’s hands away from her face. “That’s not a no.” Her hand reached forward to tuck another strand of hair behind her ear.
“Please don’t make me answer that.”
“It’s been a year, hasn’t it?”
Aubrey peeked through her fingers. “Maybe.”
“Aubrey Therese. Tell me,” Gillian said sternly, a smile still etched on her face.
“Fine!” she exclaimed, dropping her hands into her lap. “Maybe I lied. Maybe it was a little more than a year.”
Gillian stared at her. “A little more?”
“Okay, maybe since freshman year?”
“Wait, you’re serious? Freshman year?” Gillian blinked.
Aubrey immediately regretted everything.
“I saw you in orientation, okay? You were the only one taking notes. It was cute how frustrated you got whenever the slides changed and you haven’t finished copying,” She laughed, earning a playful slap to her arm.
“I thought it was fleeting. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d see you again—much less, be friends. The point is that I clearly have terrible judgment.”
“Well, I’m glad we met when we did,” Gillian said and they laughed. The sound was warm and easy, and Aubrey found herself smiling despite her embarrassment.
“I’m glad, too.”
Scooting a little closer, Gillian said, “For someone who spent all that time liking me, you were remarkably bad at flirting.”
Aubrey scoffed. “I was flirting.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“I absolutely was.”
“You offered me your lecture notes.”
“That was flirting!” Aubrey interjected, full-on blushing from Gillian’s teasing.
“That was academic support.”
Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Just so you know, I didn’t just give out my lecture notes to other people. You’re not exactly other people.”
Gillian smiled, her gaze softening.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Gillian reached for Aubrey’s hand and intertwined their fingers. The gesture was simple. Effortless. Yet it made Aubrey’s heart stumble all over again.
“Good thing I figured it out eventually,” Gillian said quietly.
Aubrey looked down at their joined hands before glancing back up. Unable to help herself, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Gillian’s lips, lingering for a brief moment before pulling away.
Amidst the silence, Gillian’s phone lit up with a notification. She picked it up from the sand and said, “Sophie texted. She wants to know if I’ve found you.”
“Tell her no.”
Gillian looked at her and sighed. “Aubrey.” It was meant to sound reproachful, but the smile tugging at her lips robbed it of any authority.
“Tell her I vanished into the sea.”
“That’s a bit dramatic.”
“You like that about me.”
“Lucky for you, I do.” Gillian turned toward her and pressed a brief kiss to the corner of her mouth.
Aubrey blinked. “You know that’s wildly unfair, right?”
“What is?” Gillian asked, feigning innocence.
“Doing that while we’re having an argument.” Aubrey pouted.
Gillian laughed, cupping her cheek with one hand and giving it a light pinch. “I think you’ll survive.”
Aubrey ducked her head, unable to hide the grin spreading across her face.
“Should we head back?” Gillian asked.
Aubrey shook her head. “Not yet.” She rested her against Gillian’s shoulder and brought their intertwined hands against her lips before saying, “Let’s stay here a bit longer.”
For the first time all night, the future didn’t seem quite so scary. Whatever happened after this trip, whatever came next, they would at least get to find out together.