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"Your feathers have been more shimmery lately."
That's how it starts. Just a simple compliment. Maybe not even that - an observation, at minimum.
Caleb fluffs up his wings. "Yeah, right? They almost glow in the sun now. I haven't even changed anything!"
Ellernate tries not to sneer. Caleb is already hard to look at when it's bright out, given the two giant wings on his back and six little ones adorning his head, all clad in pure white. Any more and he might have to wear sunglasses just for when he's around.
iTrapped narrows his eyes. "Maybe you should get that checked out? Just in case?"
"What, are you serious?" Caleb laughs. "Dude, this can't be anything but a good sign. My feathers are in good health!"
"When did it start?" iTrapped ignores him. "I don't know, sudden things like this don't tend to be great, is all."
Caleb rolls his eyes, but indulges. "A few weeks ago, I think."
Later, after everything had happened, Ellernate thinks it over. He realizes 'a few weeks ago' was when Caleb obtained his illumina.
And then, he thinks, Maybe Caleb should've listened.
.
.
.
There was a whole community of trading rare items. A community the three of them were well versed in. (Sure, maybe they'd dabbled in the more shady underside of it at times, but they'd mostly stayed away from that.)
Currently, the item Ellernate had his eyes on was an illumina.
Part of a series of 8 swords - all from Sword Fights on the Heights. Many copies of them existed in that game, although they were impossible to smuggle out due to the admin magic surrounding it.
At one point, though, Telamon himself had harmless copies of the famous swords available for purchase. These versions had no magic, no power embedded in them - just silly little replicas to put on display.
Not that it made them any less valuable, though. Ellernate was never in it for that. He just liked to own rare things, and it had been years since Telamon made those swords available - nowadays, they were incredibly hard to come by.
And that is what made all of this so thrilling, no?
He was after the illumina, specifically, because Caleb got one first. (Yes, he did think about stealing it, but that felt too mean.) iTrapped had also gotten a Darkheart recently. He wanted in.
.
.
.
Finally, finally, he'd found somebody willing to trade.
The game they'd asked to meet up in looked… a little sketchy.
"Private servers are normal, though," Ellernate argued as he gingerly packed the limiteds he was taking. Maybe excitement was clouding his judgement.
Caleb leaned back on Ellernate's bed, watching him with detached amusement. "I'm just saying, when you get banned, I'm not sticking up for you."
"What if they give you a fake?" iTrapped piped up from his spot on the floor. He was only half paying attention, moreso just scrolling on his phone.
"Honestly, if the fake is convincing enough, I'll keep it." Ellernate pursed his lips. "Worst comes to worst, I get to scam someone else with it."
"Jesus, you really are desperate." Caleb laughed. "Good luck, sweetie. Don't die!"
Ellernate lashed his tail and rolled his eyes, trying to fight off a smile. "You sound like my mom. I'll be fine."
.
.
.
The place almost had a dreamlike quality to it.
When Ellernate entered, bag in hand, he felt the shift in atmosphere - common, he supposed, in themed games like this - but the fuzzy way it made his head feel was uncomfortable.
It's a bit of a trek to where they're supposed to meet. 'It looks like an altar', the person had described. But everything here looks somewhat like that, honestly.
The ground seemed like it was cloudly, almost feathery at the edges. Nothing was clearly defined. Pinks and purples and blues in washed out strokes streaked the sky, everything feeling like it was subtly shifting in an incredibly disorienting way.
The worst part, though, was the feeling of being watched.
Even Ellernate can tell this is a bad sign. He feels on edge, having to try to supress a scared growl.
Even so, he treks forward.
.
.
.
To this day, Ellernate still cannot describe the actual trade itself in a way that makes sense.
Everything wrong and unsettling about this place coalesced into its center, the center with the altar. It wasn't real. It didn't feel real. He couldn't process it.
Washes of colors he's never seen shifting every second, sensation seemingly floating away, everything folding in on itself and coming out the other end a twisted amalgamation, and no matter how many times he repeats the story nobody gets it because theres simply no way to explain it. (Maybe he's glad they don't. He still doesn't get it, either.)
Maybe he was only there for a few moments. Just a handing over of items, nothing else. Unremarkable.
But that's the paradox of it, isn't it? Remarkable in just how unremarkable it was. How quick, how simple, when it should've been anything but.
The person themself was devastating in a way he can't explain. He still doesn't remember anything about them. Almost like a lion stalking closer, almost like an angel welcoming him into it's arms, almost like a butterfly's eyespots, almost like a box jellyfish's real ones. Almost like, almost like, but it's entirely different too, because nothing was committed to memory, maybe nothing happened at all.
No matter how many times he tries to tell the story, no matter how many times his throat closes up, no matter how many times he goes to recall and instead pulls a dreadfully bloody blank - the facts are this:
One day, he had no sword. The next day, he did.
And however it happened? It was a bad, bad curse.
.
.
.
"Is it supposed to glow like that?" Is the first thing iTrapped asks when Ellernate goes to brag about his new sword.
"It's called the illumina, dude. Of course it'd illuminate things." Ellernate scoffs, even though his chest feels like its full of plastic and he heaved all the way home last night.
Caleb shrugs. "Mine does." The light from it reflects off his feathers beautifully, almost like he was made for this.
"Yeah!" Ellernate barks, even though the tip of his tail twitches with unease. "You're just jealous."
iTrapped pulls his lips tight. "…Sure." He furrows his brows. "Elle, are you sure you're alright? You're all…"
Ellernate tries not to grimace. "Dude, I'm fine. Still riding the high of getting it, is all." He curls his tail around his leg, purposely trying to hide it's movements. It's always been the thing that gave him away. "Stop looking at my tail."
"Alright, alright! If you're sure." iTrapped steps back.
Caleb forcefully nudges Ellernate with his wing. "Ignore that worrywart. 'M happy for you, man."
Ellernate eases, just a little. The touch is nice. "Thanks, dude."
.
.
.
They're lazing about, mostly just existing in each other's presence.
Ellernate keeps catching iTrapped looking in his eyes.
"Dude, stop doing that, I'm starting to think you're gay." Ellernate quips, tail swishing over to lightly smack iTrapped on the head.
iTrapped sticks out his tongue in defiance. "Man, shut up. It's not my fault you're pretty!"
Something terrible in his chest warms, at that.
But before Ellernate can bite back, iTrapped's face melts into worry. "…but, seriously, I think you should check a mirror. Something's not…"
"What?" Nate snaps. If you thought I was ugly, could'a just said so. He fishes out his phone, turning it to the camera app. "I look normal man, I don't know what you're-…"
Oh. Um. Maybe he should eat his words.
His stomach sinks. There's stars in his eyes. His irises are glittery, for some godforsaken reason. It's undeniably pretty, sure, but. His gut still screams in alarm.
"…Ellie?" iTrapped sounds a little shaken, clearly put off by Ellernate's sudden silence. He shifts closer. "C'mon, let me see. I can't get a clear picture from here."
Ellernate forcefully turns the phone off, resisting the urge to throw it. "Th-that's gay, dude."
.
.
.
Everything has been getting harder, lately.
Ellernate leans against the wall in the grocery store, trying not to pant.
It takes a second for Caleb to look back at him. But when he notices… "Nate, are you good?"
"Sorry," Ellernate says, a little breathless, and he doesn't know why. "My back's been hurting a lot recently."
Caleb wings fluff up just a little. (It makes his heart warm. He likes being worried about.) "Do you want to take a break?"
Now, he's not one to show weakness. He tries his best to avoid it. But it hurts. "Yeah. Yeah. Yes please." He's scared. He doesn't know what's happening to him. Is he going to lose everything?
Caleb swears under his breath. "Okay. We can do that."
.
.
.
His back hurts so much.
It hurts so bad he can't even wear a shirt, for fuck's sake.
It.. he felt really bad about it. Even though he lives with his friends, they barely see each other shirtless, the only exceptions being the rare days they go to the beach.
But it hurts.
He tried to ignore it as long as he could, but it Hurts, it hurts so bad and so much and it never stops and he's so scared because it was so sudden and—
ellernate: guys Im so sorry i dont thjnk i can wear shirts in the house anymore
itrapped: dude, you want us to see you shirtless? lol
ellernate: no it just hurts
itrapped: shit
Yeah, he did tell them over text. He was very embarrassed.
(Caleb and iTrapped briefly tried teasing him about it, but it was clear they felt really bad. And he did, too, so. It was dropped quickly.)
.
.
.
He can't get up anymore.
It's gotten bad, really bad, very fast. He can't even sit up. Can't even walk. He can't even lay of his side or back, he needs to be on his stomach. He needs help getting to the bathroom. It hurts so much.
Just shy of two months ago, nothing was even wrong.
He sobs into the pillow.
Caleb lets out a distressed chirp-warble, leaning closer to Ellernate. Him and iTrapped have taken up a weird sort of schedule of keeping watch, taking turns sitting nearby and offering their presence.
"Do you want me to adjust the nest?" Caleb offers, his wings raised in suspense. Caleb and Ellernate have always slept in nests, and now that Ellernate can't maintain his own, Caleb has taken up that mantle.
Ellernate buries his face into the fabric further, hands gripping the sheets tight. "Mm-mm." It's very nice that everyone wants to take care of him, really, it is, but it's so hard to think over the pain. He's too busy trying to endure to appreciate it.
Caleb sighs. "Okay. If you need anything, I'm here."
I need the pain to stop. But there's no way for Caleb to do that, so Ellernate doesn't ask.
Caleb turns around, fully facing Ellernate. He does a thing he's been doing a lot lately, which is sing in birdsong to try and calm him down. In truth, it is very soothing, even if theres not much to soothe.
It doesn't have any defined meaning, but Ellernate can pick out a few of the feelings behind it. Things like I-love-you and scared and worry-protect and good-luck.
…Wait.
He's never been able to understand that before.
.
.
.
"We need to go to the hospital!" iTrapped hissed. "Things don't get this bad this fast normally. Something is seriously wrong!"
Caleb fluffed up his wings. "You think I don't know that? Anyone with eyes can see it!" He's scared, they're both scared, they're all scared. "I'm worried on how we're gonna get the guy there! He can barely get to the bathroom without screaming in pain, how is he gonna sit in the car?"
iTrapped put his head in his hands. "Fuck. Fuck, we should've gone sooner." He tries not to sob. "I didn't know it would get this bad."
Caleb breathes. Breathes, breathes, breathes, because someone has to stay composed right now, no matter how much he wants to tear apart the walls in fear. "None of us did. None of us did, man."
The two stand there. Afraid. What else can they do? Ellenate's not getting better.
"Alright." Caleb gulps. He steels himself. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going."
.
.
.
HURTS
IT HURTS HURTS HURTS
IT H
IT HURTS
HURT
HURT
H U R T S
THE PAIN IS BLINDING
HE CAN'T SEE, HE CANT FEEL
BURNS BURNS BURNS
THERE IS NOTHING BUT THE PAIN
HE'S SCREAMING
IT HURTS
IT HURTS
IT HURTS SO MUCH
THERE'S SOMETHING IN HIS HANDS
HE FEELS IT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE
IT HURTS
IT HURTS
SOMETHING SCRATCHING UNDER HIS SKIN
BURSTING AT THE SEAMS
IT HURTS
IT HURTS
IT HURTS HURTS HURTS
IT
HURTS
.
.
.
The screaming was loud. Agonized. Painful. Loud.
Immediately, Caleb and iTrapped rushed in through the door. They were spending the night losing sleep and trying to prepare for the hospital trip, but. Well. Sirens came early.
The moment they step beyond the entrance, they see it.
Wings.
This whole time, Ellernate was growing wings.
Blood, everywhere, pouring from his back in fountains, feathers slick and sticky and covered. Red. Red red red. Everything is painted red with blood. The wings must've been growing inside him, and… Jesus Christ, theres just so much blood.
"Call 911." Caleb says, hauntingly. Then, louder, "Call 911. Now!"
"On it!" iTrapped frantically scrambles out of the room, hoping to actually be heard over the screams.
Caleb rushes closer. It's so loud. He's so loud. There's blood everywhere. "I'm here, I'm here," Caleb cries, sneaking his arm under the pillow and letting Ellernate grab on. He's not sure if Ellernate is even conscious, or if it's all just pain-pain-pain.
His grip is very tight.
"It's okay, Ellie, it's okay," Caleb desperately tries to soothe. "I'm here, I've got you, it'll be okay."
Ellernate grabs tighter, screams warbling with tears.
It hurts, but Caleb doesn't pull away. Not even when he feels the crack of his own bones.
Instead, he breaks into loud, ugly birdsong, doing whatever he can to ease this. Even if its shaky and terrified and wobbling so much it's worth it, because it's something, anything, it's all he has and he'll do it 'till his grave.
.
.
.
"We're on our way," The dispatcher says through iTrapped's phone. "Stay on the line."
He's sobbing. He's standing just outside the door, in the dark, sobbing. Theres multiple people who came by because they heard the screaming.
They're bombarding him with questions, and he tries to warble out answers, but his mouth wont work.
He's scared. He's scared. They're all scared.
The sirens can be heard, coming closer.
.
.
.
iTrapped bites his nails. He wasn't allowed to go inside with Ellernate, so he's sitting in a weird mini-lounge nearby. Nobody else is here. Caleb's in a completely different wing of the hospital getting a cast, but iTrapped is a lot less worried about him. Priorities.
What the hell could've possibly happened? iTrapped's never heard of people spontaneously growing wings before, let alone that painfully. How the doctors managed to bandage those wounds he'll never know.
He breathes. He breathes.
He is so, so scared.
A doctor walks in. "You're here for Ellernate, yes?"
iTrapped perks up. "Y-yeah. Any news?" Good news? Please?
"We've managed to stabilize him. He lost a lot of blood, so he's got a transfusion happening right now. Once we get him awake, we'll be able to move him to a game for more specialized care."
Okay, okay, that's better than nothing. His hands jitter. He's listening intently. "What about the wings?"
The doctor closes their eyes, breathing slowly through gritted teeth. "I'm afraid we don't know much. It's a new thing for all of us, unfortunately. But since it threatened his life this much… we'll definitely investigate."
"This… hasn't happened before?"
"No, no, it's just a new phenomenon." The doctor shakes their head. "It's only started recently, and it's rare at that, but I promise we're working hard to figure out the source to prevent it in the future."
iTrapped's gut twists. So theres nothing they can do. "Will he be alright?"
"I can't guarantee anything," They place a hand on his shoulder, "but he's in good hands. We will do our best to make sure he recovers."
He blinks. That was a whole load of nothing. But… "O-okay. Thank you."
The doctor pulls back. "You should head home for tonight. We have a cafeteria if you need to eat."
Really, he wants to do anything but. He can't leave Ellernate. And he's too anxious to eat anything. "Alright," is what he says anyway, planning to swing by and pick up Caleb on the way. "If he wakes up, call me, okay?"
"Of course."
.
.
.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
His head swims. Nothing makes sense. Thoughts try to form but fall apart almost instantly, brittle and shattering like glass. He's dizzy. Sparks flicker in and out of his vision.
His back… is heavy.
"Mm…?"
It's hard to move. Everything is white, but he can't tell if that's just the walls or more sparks. It doesn't seem like anyone's close by.
Theres beeping nearby. Beep. Beep. Beep. It wont stop. It's kinda annoying.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Something squeezes his arm. There's … it's almost like a clip around his finger? He realizes he's attached to a lot of things.
He closes his eyes. He doesn't wanna deal with this.
.
.
.
The house is so empty without him.
They've both just been rotting on their phones lately. What else can they do? Occasionally they try to make jokes or tease each other, but it's empty, it doesn't really work.
Neither of them have been allowed to visit Ellernate. Only family and spouses are let through, unfortunately, and it's making everything worse. Reportedly, he hasn't woken up for longer than a minute yet, which is terrifying.
iTrapped checks the LMaD forums for the fifth time that day.
There's… a new news post?
It looks important. It's only been posted just a few minutes ago. (If iTrapped would've checked, he would've seen it pinned on almost every website dedicated to it.)
He blinks. Nothing better to do than read it, he supposes.
!! IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ !!
Recently, trades of the SFOTH swords have gone up. This is because someone smuggled out various copies from the original game. Whoever this is has been trading them away, claiming them to be regular copies.
Seems harmless, right? Wrong. These smuggled swords contain a lot of admin magic. They're stablized in their original game, but not outside of it. The magic will infect you and cause serious damage to your body.
I'll repeat this: These pose a serious danger to your health. If you have obtained a SFOTH sword in the past 4 months, you need to get rid of it for your safety.
iTrapped swallows. Oh god. Something clicks, and he really, really doesn't like it. It seems obvious. Of course admin magic could do that. Admin magic can do anything.
His hands shake.
"Caleb?" He calls out, knowing the other is just a room or so over. "You're gonna wanna read this."
.
.
.
Ellernate shakes.
"You're here," He almost sobs, weakly squeezing Caleb's (non-broken) hand.
Caleb runs his thumb across Ellernate's skin. "Yeah. We came as soon as they said you wanted us."
They're both looking at him. Thank god. Thank god, they're here, Ellernate was almost afraid he'd be stuck wading in and out of consciousness all alone for the rest of his life.
"'M sorry for breaking your hand." He mumbles. "Why're you holding me now? Aren't you scared I'll do it again?" His voice is a breathy almost-laugh, and it's a half-joke, even though he's been feeling so guilty about it. It's all he's been thinking about whenever he wakes up, his few minutes always spent being eaten alive by it.
Caleb laughs. It's such a sweet sound, he's missed it so much. "Oh god, never. You're much too sweet."
iTrapped places a hand on Ellernate's arm - after very clearly hesitating to pick the right spot - trying his best to make a reassuring smile. "We're here for you man. They'll have to drag me out of this room if they want me gone."
Ellernate almost sobs. Forgive him, it's been a very emotional past few … well, the whole two months, basically. "Thank you." He hates how his voice wavers, how it makes him feel weak, but it doesn't matter right now.
"Yeah, of course." Caleb fluffs up his wings, "I'll treat you how to preen them and everything. We'll be bird buddies!"
Oh, okay, now there's actually tears in his eyes. Fuck.
iTrapped nods proudly. "I'll help you with all the physical therapy too. We can do it together?"
"I don't know man, I think that'll be my job." Caleb retorts playfully, "I don't think you have the wings to do most of the exercises."
"Hey! Let me express my support."
Ellernate wipes his eyes. Their voices are so nice. It's soothing, it's perfect, it's exactly what he needed. He missed them. "I don't know what I did to deserve you two," he mutters through hiccups.
They look at him.
"Ellie, you didn't need to do anything. You're perfect just as you are." Caleb looks so sincere when he says it, and maybe he's expecting a 'no homo' or something, but it never comes. It makes his heart flutter.
"Yeah." iTrapped nods in agreement. "We missed you so much. Everything was so wrong without you."
Ellernate hiccups, and it hurts, irritating the wounds, but he doesn't care. "Tell me about it?" Tell me that you missed me. Tell me that I'm important to you. Please.
"It was horrible," Caleb's face scrunches up, his wings opening up just a little. He really does look beautiful. "We worried ourselves sick over you. If I'd waited any longer, I would've broken in myself."
iTrapped shook his head. "Awful. Awful awful awful, I hated it."
"You're too sweet," Ellernate chokes out through tears. He's very glad they aren't saying anything about it.
"It's all for you, man. All for you."