Chapter Text
Heading
Flashback text
"Dialogue"
"Inner thoughts"
Subaru's Room, Early morning, Monday.
"Subaru! Don't forget your bag!"
"Yes mom, I've went to school before!"
"Really?! I'm shocked!"
"Real funny!"
Subaru was having a stressful morning.
He hasn't gone to school in a few months. He just couldn't bring himself to show his face there, especially after he showed everyone he knew there that he was just a stupid kid desperate for attention–
"Don't think things like that, dunderhead!"
–And yet, he had somehow forced himself to get up this morning, brush his teeth, wash his face, and get ready for school this morning. It was difficult, obviously, but he pulled through. Just barely, though. He was on the verge of just laying back down and going to sleep–
"Of course Barusu's a lazy bum."
–And... He was definitely not a lazy bum, so he, again, forced himself awake. Now all that he needed to do was go down stairs and eat breakfast. His mom always had amazing cooking. Is that something that came with being a mom–?
"That's a basic life skill, Subaru-kun–"
"Okay, can you guys stop??"
He whipped around, and came face to face with three different girls in very strange, slightly outdated(?) attire, with even stranger appearances. One of the girls had silver hair with deep, purple eyes, and a white, flowy dress. The other two looked almost identical. One of them had pink hair and a blue hair pin, and the other a blue hair with a pink hair pin. They were both wearing maid costumes (for some reason).
What's worse about these three girls... Was that they weren't real.
For all of his life, Subaru has had constant hallucinations of people he had never seen before. People with different personalities, opinions, ways of speech. It still creeped him out, but he had gotten used to it at this point. Well as "Used to it" as one could get, considering he was technically hallucinating.
"Okay... I get it! You guys have every right to bash on me, but can it wait until I get to school??"
He glared at the three girls with the meanest glare he could muster, though it did literally nothing, because they aren't real. He guessed they would always have that above him. None of his bait tactics actually worked.
Maybe that was a good thing. These "People" were figments of his imagination. He was basically baiting himself.
The silver-haired girl, which he had dubbed "Emilia", shook her head, giving him a look of pure admiration that he couldn't tell if he liked it or not.
"He's right," She then crossed her arms, a pout forming on her face. "You both need to go easy him! He's trying his best."
The pink haired one, dubbed "Ram" spoke up next. "Absolutely not. Idiot Barusu needs to be held accountable for his laziness. Right, sissy?"
Ram turned to the blue-haired girl, dubbed "Rem" (Subaru was so creative when it came to these names), who seemed to be zoned out until her "Sister" called her name.
"Y-Yes, big sis! Subaru-kun is an idiot!"
"That's not even what she was asking!! Ugh... Never mind."
Subaru quickly grabbed his bag, practically speed walking out of the room and away from the hallucinations. It was fine. They would follow him anyway. The thing about hallucinations is that you could never really escape them. Or he so believed. He probably should be getting mental help at this point in his life, especially since he'll be entering a public environment again. But hey, they didn't effect his well-being (sometimes), and he's survived this long with them.
He was already lonely anyway. At least his mind could keep him company.
He sometimes liked to wonder what part of his brain thought of these wacky characters. They all seem to be inspired by some sort of fantasy, Isekai setting. Did he play a game or watch an anime for it to think up something like this? Like with most hallucinations (at least, he thinks this happens with most hallucinations), they feed off the information in his mind. They knew everything he knew, so it wasn't like they were totally clueless.
"And yet... They each have their own personality. Wouldn't they be exactly like me, if that were the case–?"
"No one wants to be like Barusu."
"I do! Subaru's reeeaaally cool!"
"Why haven't I thought of something like this before?? Most hallucinations don't FUCKING INSULT YOU, either–"
"They do, actually."
"Well... They are convenient. It's nice to have people who are on the same level of intellect as me to bounce my thoughts around. Plus, they're good company, no one else can see them, and I don't even need to speak out loud to talk to them."
"Oh? So Barusu only finds us convenient? He doesn't view us as good company?"
"I...I'm sure that's not what he meant, sissy..."
"Well, it's your guys fault for being rude to him!"
"Okay, all three of you need to shut up. Seriously."
He turned and waved his hand in the air in front of him, successfully dispelling them for the time being. Jeez. So much for good company. It was like putting three people with totally different personalities in a room and then asking them to debate which Isekai anime had the most cultural significance.
Subaru personally thinks it's Konosuba, but that wasn't important right now. He had a school to get too.
He arrived at the front door, yelling to his mother. "Mom! We're going out now! I'll see you later!"
A few seconds of silence went by, before she yelled back, voice slightly confused. " What do you mean "We're", honey?"
"Uh–" "Shit."
"Looks like Barusu has some company..."
"Could you shut up?"
"Uh... Me and my backpack! It's like, my best friend now!'
"Rem thinks that having a backpack as a friend is even worse than having hallucinations for friends."
"I said shut it, guys! And how are you even back?? I got rid of all three of you!"
"Subaru can get rid of us all he wants, but I'll never leave him!"
"...Thanks, Emilia. Even though that's really creepy."
Subaru's mom went silent once again, and Subaru sighed in relief. Maybe that was his cue to leave. If it was, he would not hesitate to take that opportunity.
"Honey, why are you friends with your backpack?"
"Mom, I'm leaving!"
"Ah– I'll see you later, Subaru!"
He sighed, quickly walking out of the door before she could say anything further. This was the least hardest part of this day. He could tell that school would be a nightmare. But he couldn't give up now, even with–
"Does Barusu think he's in an anime?"
"C-Can you go away!?"
Classroom, Morning.
Subaru TECHNICALLY wasn't a new student, so he didn't have to do introductions or anything. I mean, he had to provide a reason he was absent for so many months. He was honestly shocked they'd allowed him to attend school at all anymore. The excuse he gave was kinda bullshit too. Mental health reasons, he said. It was kinda reasonable, but anyone slightly smarter than the average school counselor could call out the stupidity in that reasoning.
This didn't stop most of the students, especially the ones he knew, from looking at him like a government experiment. He knew what he was getting into when coming here,obviously, but whether he could handle it was a whole different story.
"I think you can handle anything, Subaru!"
"Ram doesn't."
"R-Rem doesn't either, sissy"
He suppressed a sigh of deep annoyance and desire to leave this place. The chatter of the students in class, paired with the mindless chatter of his three companions really did a number on him.
The three of them surrounded him on all sides of his desk, with Emilia (unsurprisingly) the closest to him. He would be eternally grateful for the fact that no one else could see them. They were extremely embarrassing–
Ram let out a shocked gasp, turning and glaring at him. "Embarrassing? After all this time, we're embarrassing to you?"
"Oh relax!! I'm just kidding..." He rolled his eyes in annoyance, "I literally have no one besides you guys. You're definitely not embarrassing."
"Don't listen to Ram, Subaru. Even without us, I'm sure you can make a bunch of friends!"
Ram snorted in mock-disbelief, stretching herself over his desk as if it were a bed. "You really believe that? Barusu couldn't even make conversation with a wall."
"That is not true!!" His mouth didn't move, but he had hoped the "Tone of his thoughts" came across clearly. "I know... Plenty of walls that would want to be my friend."
He and the hallucinations stared at him for a solid ten seconds. It was silent. The air was heated. No one knew what the other would do.
Well... Subaru actually had an idea.
"Pfft–"
"You guys better not laugh. It's not funny."
"Pfft– Hehe–"
"Stop."
"S-Subaru, you shouldn't be talking to walls..."
The three of them clearly couldn't hold it in anymore, and started to laugh hysterically. Subaru, again, was thankful no one but him could interact with them. He himself had to stop himself from laughing out loud, considering he was in a quiet, busy classroom. He still couldn't wrap his head around that–
"Natsuki Subaru!!"
"AH! W-What?"
He jolted in his seat, startled, and completely caught off guard. The teacher, as well as most of the class stared at him quietly, with some even laughing. He must've zoned out talking to these dumbasses. Shit. How would he get himself out of this?
"Since you were so clearly interested in this discussion," They crossed their arms, practically glaring at him. "Where did the most famous Japanese author, Haruki Murakami work before he started writing?"
"Damnit. Any of you guys know?"
"We only know what you know, Subaru-kun..."
He was screwed. He could not make a bad impression on his first day back. That would kill whatever motivation he had to continue coming. And would most likely tarnished whatever reputation he had left. He couldn't afford to take a risk like that. He had to think, and quickly, too.
The teacher, and the students, stared at him with expectancy. He could feel himself starting to sweat.
"Psst!"
He turned his head towards the whisper, only to meet eyes with a persona right beside him. A girl with black hair, green eyes, and a slightly mischievous, but nevertheless friendly face. It caught him off guard, really. He wasn't used to this kind of expression. Regardless, he tried his best not to let his surprise show.
"The answer is a Jazz bar!"
He stared for half a second, before turning back to the teacher. He prayed that this girl was right. He needed this blessing.
"...A Jazz bar?"
The teacher stared at him. Almost as if they were trying to find some way to make an example out of him. This act put a bad taste in Subaru's mouth.
"...Very good. Pay attention next time."
Subaru let out a breath of fresh air. He never wanted to experience that again. Did they really have to call on him? Surely there were other people who weren't paying attention, right?
"She saved your ass there, Barusu."
"Yeah... She did."
"...That stupid teacher. Trying to mess with Subaru."
"T-They were just doing their job, Emilia-san."
Subaru looked back towards the girl, who in turn gave him a small smile. That takes care of that, he guessed.
Library, Afternoon.
"Subaru-kun, why are we in the library?"
"Well, why not? All of us need to read a good book once in a while.
"Books are for idiots like Barusu. We don't need them."
"We share the same information, remember? If I'm an idiot, you are too."
"..."
Subaru rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. Who knew that having three people following you around everywhere you went would be annoying? This may be a shocker, but it's not a fate Subaru would subject anyone to. You had to have the mental fortitude of a brainwashed trend-hopper who refuses to listen to anyone with opinions different from theirs to even attempt to deal with this.
"...That was a horrible comparison."
"I'm glad Barusu could realize that."
He swiped the hallucinations away again, firmly focused on getting what he came for without interruption. He's already had to deal with those three enough today (and every other day they were with him), so he decided he needed some peace in quiet for himself.
So here he was, scouting the shelves for the item he so desperately needed. The item he's been longing for all his life. The item that had the opportunity to change the very foundations of the world as he knew it.
Now, you might be asking, what did Subaru need that badly? Books, obviously. But a very specific kind of book. A manga, actually.
My Dress-Up Darling volume 2.
He highly doubts a public library, especially one inside a school, would have something like that, but a guy could hope, right? He had prayed to the manga Gods the night beforehand, so maybe the would make his dream come true. And even if he didn't, he could always check in at the local library. But he had hoped this would save him some time.
"I heard this was the volume where Kitagawa confesses! I really hope they have it!"
He had long since accepted the fact that he was a weirdo. Of course, theres nothing wrong with enjoying a manga, but he probably shouldn't be this excited about one. He still has his doubts about this library even having it on catalogue, so he should definitely try and bring his hopes down just a bit.
...He was just too excited. How could he bring his hopes down?
He had been searching for ten minutes at this point, and yet no luck. He sighed in defeat. "Damnit... Knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Whatever, I'll be there for you soon, Kitagawa!"
"Pervert."
"What?"
He could've sworn there wasn't a single person behind him. He whipped his head around quickly, spotting...
...Nothing?
"Down here."
He looked down quickly, and spotted what looked to be a twelve year-old child. She had blonde hair with long twin tails in a spiral shape (somehow), a pink bow and crown on top of her head, and a wide, frilly pink dress. She had a disinterested, somewhat bored expression on her face, and the irises of her eyes were blue butterflies.
...She was kinda adorable, too.
"Again, pervert."
"W-What?! I didn't even say anything!"
"You called me adorable. Do you call every child you meet adorable, in fact?"
"Yes!! Children are adorable!"
"Pervert."
"You're taking it the wrong way!!"
He covered his mouth. He had forgotten this was a library. No one was here, as it was after school on a Monday, but he could never be too cautious...
...Now that he thinks about it, how did she know he had called her adorable?
"Wasn't it obvious? I'm another one of your "Hallucinations", I suppose."
"Y...You are?"
"Is that why the other three haven't came back yet? Didn't know they were the shy type."
"They aren't the "Shy type", in fact. My presence is just so brilliant that they can't bare to tarnish it with their presence... and because I asked them to let me introduce myself."
"What was that last part?"
"Nothing!"
The girl puffed her cheeks out in what Subaru could only assume was pride, as well as crossing her arms.
"...Adorable."
"S-Stop calling me that, I suppose! I am not adorable."
"Oh? Did I just catch a little bit of tsundere?"
"Stop!"
She turned her head away quickly, putting her back to Subaru liked that would stop the teasing. It wouldn't, but Subaru could let the "Girl" dream just for a little.
This was the first time in years that Subaru had gotten another hallucinations. The first one was Emilia, then Ram, and then most recently, Rem. This was all in the span of his early childhood, so he didn't think he'd be getting another one. He coucouldn't quite figure out if he should be worried or slightly relieved he had gained a new member of his little camp.
"Don't worry. I won't be as annoying as the those other idiots, I suppose. That Emilia girl in particular pisses me off."
"H-Hey! Don't curse, child!"
"I'm not a child, in fact! I'm a figment of your imagination!"
Subaru hoped Emilia didn't hear her comment about her.
Well, she was here now. The "Girl" turned back around, staring at Subaru as if she was expecting something. Subaru had a feeling pool in his head, a feeling that he was forgetting something important.
"...A name! I have to name her!"
"You don't have to name me, in fact. You just choose to–"
"Whatever! Let me think!"
He let himself go silent for a few seconds. His face twisted in thoughtfulness.
"Shaula? Nah... Melty? No. Maybe... Annerose?"
Subaru racked his brain for different names. He needed something basic, but something the "Girl" would take pride in...
...He's got it!
He pointed at the girl, a wide grin on his face. "Your name is... Beatrice!"
The girl blinked, as if she was silently contemplating the name. "Fine... Betty's name is Beatrice."
Subaru blinked at the change of sentence structure. Betty? Was she the type to speak in third person like Rem and Ram?
"Seems like you got comfortable with that name very quickly."
"S-Shut up, I suppose! Betty is not comfortable with anything!"
She turned her back away again. Subaru smiled at this. He really hoped she would be able to lighten things up in the place called his mind. The other three drove him crazy.