Chapter Text
They drove back to the sheriff's office in complete silence. Lukas kept fidgeting, legs moving restlessly while he bit his lip. When they reached their destination, Helen and Gabe got out first. Lukas was paralysed. Philip stayed inside the car, hoping he could do something to reassure the other boy.
He couldn't though, so he stayed quiet.
After a few minutes in which neither boy moved, Lukas cleared his throat and caught Philip's eyes with his.
"I'm ready."
Philip offered him the most comforting smile he could muster. They walked together towards the office, close but not touching.
Helen and Gabe were waiting for them inside. As soon as they entered, Helen put his good cop face on and said, "Philip, why don't you and Gabe go to the diner next door and get some coffee while Lukas and I talk?"
"No," Lukas said, too forcefully, too desperately. He gripped Philip's sleeve, keeping him in place. "I need him here."
"Lukas, no matter what you've told Philip, this is confidential, he can't—"
"He was there too!" Lukas said, raising his voice above Helen's.
She felt silent then, eyes between the two boys with a puzzled look. Philip nodded in assertion.
"Okay then," Helen said, recovering quickly. "Sit down."
Lukas pulled Philip's sleeve and dragged him towards the bench. They sat together, closer than they would have a few days ago. Philip tried to keep some distance between them, in case Lukas was uncomfortable with the proximity, but the blonde ignored his efforts and scooted closer until their legs touched. He needed the comfort, Philip supposed. He had yet to explain what they were doing at the cabin, and Philip was not sure Lukas was ready to tell the complete truth.
"What were you doing at the cabin?" Helen asked, as if reading Philip's mind.
"We were filming some footage for my channel. Philip's great with the camera," Lukas answered, turning to smile at the boy. "We were close to the cabin, so we headed there after to hang out. We were… Fuck. Philip?" He looked panicked, eyes wide open and lips thin, as if asking for help.
"It's okay, Lukas," Philip whispered, having already expected this outcome.
"No, not that. You know I'm not good with words."
And that did surprise Philip. Lukas wasn't backing down, he just had trouble with finding the words. I never know what to say, he had once told him. Philip grinned, resting his hand on Lukas' leg lightly and turning to Helen.
"We've been seeing each other," he said simply, and he heard Lukas sigh in relief.
For all of Lukas' nervousness, Gabe and Helen barely even flinched. They had most likely thought of the possibility before, when Philip and Lukas had holed themselves up in Lukas' house. Helen continued with her questions.
"What happened then?"
"A car arrived. We thought it was Lukas's dad, so I hid under the bed and Lukas went into the closet." He smiled at Lukas jokingly, pointing out the irony, and Lukas answered with a playful elbow to his stomach. "I couldn't really see much after that."
"There were four guys," Lukas took over. "One of them was tied up, and the others were all screaming. Suddenly, the first wasn't tied up anymore, he had a gun and he shot them."
"One of them was FBI. He said so before he got shot," Philip added, remembering the panic in the voice of the man.
"Then he saw Philip," Lukas continued, and his voice rose a few octaves. Philip squeezed his leg, reminding Lukas that he was there, he was alive and they were safe. "I—I thought he was gonna kill him. So I grabbed a pan and kicked him in the head. We picked up his gun and run away."
Once the tale was over, Lukas deflated and leaned back in the bench, looking like a rag doll. Philip patted his leg again, and Lukas took his hand and intertwined their fingers.
"Would you be able to recognise the murderer?" Helen asked.
"Yeah," Philip assured.
Helen got up and retrieved a paper from her desk, then offered it to Philip. It was a photo of a man in his early forties, with curly hair and a menacing look.
"Is that him?"
"No. It was—He was younger, tall, brown hair. He looked crazed," Philip described. "I saw him in town a few days later—I thought he'd recognise me, but he wasn't looking for me. I think he killed Tommy and Tracy, too. I lent Tommy the jacket I was wearing that night," Philip admitted, feeling guilty. "I told you they weren't users."
It was Lukas' turn to comfort Philip. Summoning courage, he circled Philip's shoulders with his arm and pushed him towards himself. Philip laid his head in his boyfriends shoulder while Helen took notes of what they had told her. At last, she raised her head and set her eyes on Lukas.
"We are going to have to tell your father about your involvement in the case. I can talk to him, or you can come with me, you choose. We only have to tell him the basics, nothing more than you're ready for," she explained.
"No, I, I should tell him everything. It's time."
They drove back to the Waldenbeck household, Gabe on the wheel with Helen next to him, boys sitting together in the back. They were leaning towards each other, talking quietly so that Philip's foster parents wouldn't hear.
"Have you ever talked to your dad about homosexuality anyway?"
"Not really."
"Then how do you know how he'd react? He might be okay with it."
Lukas shrugged. "I doesn't want me to be that guy. He wants me to be normal."
"You are normal," Philip insisted. "This, what we have, is normal. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise."
Lukas nodded, biting his lip, and extended his arm towards Philip, hand wide open. Philip took it without hesitation, interlocking their fingers, and squeezed tightly. It was starting to get familiar, with all the handholding they had done that day. Not that Lukas was going to complain. He would take all the support he could get.
Their hands stayed locked for the rest of the trip. Once Lukas' house was in sight, he dropped Philip's hand like it burned. Philip grimaced but didn't comment on it. Lukas was nervous. It didn't mean he was going to back down. And even if it did, he had done a lot of good for the day. He couldn't blame him for not being ready to come out to his father.
Bo's pickup truck was in the driveway, meaning Lukas' father was already home. Philip touched Lukas' shoulder gently, gaining his attention.
"Do you want me to go in with you or should I stay here?"
Lukas took a few breaths, eyes darting between Philip and his house.
"Come with me," he decided. "I don't know if I can do this on my own."
"Well, Helen is going in with you too," Philip corrected him. "You know, to explain what happened. And you don't have to do anything you're not ready for." He cupped Lukas' neck with his hands, forcing him to look at Philip and keeping him in place. "Hey," he added, "I'm so proud of you. You know that, right?"
Lukas nodded. Philip closed the distance between their lips and gave Lukas a sweet, tender kiss, full of admiration and love. Lukas melted against Philip, hands gripping his arms and body leaning into the middle seat.
Someone cleared their throat, causing both boys to jump apart, cheeks red in embarrassment. With one last look at Philip, Lukas got out of the car and started walking towards his home. Philip followed swiftly. Helen and Gabe shared a look from the front seats before she got out to join the teenagers into the house.
"Son, is that you?" They heard Bo yell from the kitchen.
"Yeah," Lukas answered back, walking towards him.
Bo was sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. He froze momentarily when he saw the two unexpected guests.
"Good evening, Mr Waldenbeck," Helen greeted.
"Don't tell me," Bo said before the boys could start. "They've been fighting again." He turned towards Lukas. "Honestly, kid, I don't understand your relationship with this boy. You hate him and then you get drunk together and you spend all day together. What's going on now?"
Lukas was shaking slightly, looking around the room at everything but his father. His gaze fell upon Philip, standing next to him and smiling in encouragement. Lukas gave him a small nod and sighed.
"I was with Philip at the cabin the night those men were killed." He looked at his father. And suddenly, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Lukas felt an urge to cry, the tension and fear of the last few weeks finally taking a toll on him, but he clenched his fists and held his ground.
Bo frowned, confusion written all over his face.
"What do you mean—"
"Sir, your son came to me today claiming to have witnessed the murders that took place in your cabin last month," Helen stepped in. "He's already given his statement and we'll soon find the culprit. I thought it would be best if he told you himself," she explained in the softest voice possible.
Bo turned to his son, who had been holding his breath throughout the whole explanation.
"Are you okay?" Bo asked, walking towards him and resting his hands in Lukas' arms.
"Yeah," Lukas answered, nodding.
"Why didn't you say something before?"
"I was scared I was going to get in trouble," Lukas admitted with a knot in his throat.
Bo put his arms around his son and enveloped him in a tight hug. Lukas hugged back, revering in the feeling and wondering when he would get a hug from his father again. Because even though he had already told him about the murders, there was still half of the story left.
"What were you and this kid even doing at the cabin?" Bo asked, stepping back.
Lukas looked at his father, trying to gain the courage to tell him. Dread spread through his chest, clenching his throat and paralysing him.
Philip waited for Lukas' answer. One part of him wanted to interrupt and save Lukas, because he looked nowhere near ready to come out. Other part wanted to gather his boyfriend in his arms and ease the pain away. He stood in place, knowing Lukas wouldn't appreciate either of those actions.
"I like boys." Lukas closed his eyes to avoid looking at his father. "And I like Philip. Like more than a friend. We were—" making out? No, he couldn't confess that to his father. "We're together. And I don’t care if you think he’s not a good influence, because he makes me happy and I’m not going to stop seeing him," he said finally, not daring to open his eyes and see the reaction.
"That's why you were so scared to tell me?"
Lukas nodded.
Suddenly, a big, calloused hand touched Lukas’ cheek. His eyes shot open. Bo was right in front of him, looking at him with regret.
"I'm sorry," Bo said. "That you felt like you couldn't tell me." The man's eyes were glistening with tears. "But you have to know, that I'm never going to not love you. No matter what."
Lukas' body fell limp on his father, tears finally coming down his face. He felt so relieved and overwhelmed by Bo's acceptance. His legs shook under him, threatening to let him fall, and Lukas hold on tightly to his father. Bo drew circles in Lukas' back in a reassuring manner.
"Your mother would be proud of you," Bo muttered against his son's hair, and Lukas let out a sob.
Philip smiled at the picture, happy for his boyfriend. Helen approached him and put her arm around his shoulders.
When Lukas' tears had subsided and his grip on Bo had softened, they parted. Lukas dried his eyes with his sleeve while Bo turned, eyes zeroing in on Philip. The boy froze.
"You." He pointed at Philip, voice cold and menacing. "Are you responsible for my son keeping this quiet?"
Philip made himself smaller against Helen's side, eyes open and scared. He tried to find his voice, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a moan. Luckily, Lukas came to the rescue.
"No, dad, l—" He started, lowering his father's arm. "Philip wanted us to tell. I was the one who asked him not to." His voice was honest and regretful. Lukas looked at Philip apologetically. "I'm sorry for that, by the way," he said, as if he hadn't apologised enough in the last hour.
Philip smiled reassuringly and looked back at Bo, whose menacing stare had changed to an interested glance.
"I'm gonna need some time to process this," he muttered, shaking his head.
"Of course," Lukas agreed. Honestly, his father needing time to get used to the idea was far better than all the other outcomes he had made up in his head.
Silence fell over them. Philip took the opportunity to stare at Lukas. A small smile played on the blond boy's lips as he looked at his father. He was calm and relaxed, like Philip had never seen before, and he looked so beautiful Philip was unable to tear his eyes off him.
He felt a pair of eyes set upon him, and Philip turned around to see Bo examining him again. He straightened his back and stood unmoving under the man's stare, breath caught in his throat, until Bo begrudgingly smiled at him.
"Are you taking care of my boy?"
"Dad—" Lukas pleaded, embarrassed.
"The best I can, sir," Philip answered honestly.
Bo nodded. Suddenly he frowned, turning towards his son, and tilted his head.
"That money you needed then, for Rose's abortion?" Bo asked confusedly.
Philip looked at Lukas with a hurt expression.
"What? You said—"
"And I meant it," Lukas insisted, looking straight at Philip. He turned to his father. "The money wasn't for Rose, it was—"
He stopped. He had done a lot of coming out that day, but he wasn't about to confess to buying hundred-dollar mints from a dealer. Not a chance.
"—For Philip. I, um. I bought him a camera. As a gift. I thought, you know, it would make up for all I was putting him through."
Philip stared at Lukas with an odd expression in his face, but followed along with the lie.
"I, I can give it back, if you want," Philip offered to Bo nervously. "You can return it, get your money back."
"No need. You keep it, son. You shouldn't suffer for my son's idiocy."
"Thank you, sir," Philip said gratefully.
A smile appeared on Lukas' face. Despite being called an idiot, he felt better than he thought possible. To think a few hours ago he had been holding a gun, thinking of killing himself... Well, he had never expected to find himself in the kitchen, listening to his father and boyfriend joke around.
"Maybe we should go," Helen suggested, looking at Philip. "Let them talk it all out."
Philip nodded. "Okay. It was a pleasure, Mr Waldenbeck," he said, always polite.
"It's Bo, kid."
Philip smiled at Bo, then looked at Lukas and raised his eyebrows. Lukas laughed. With that, Helen and Philip left the kitchen.
Lukas raised a finger at his father in a universal sign of one second and rushed after them. He caught up with them outside, where Gabe waited in the car. Lukas called out his boyfriend's name, who turned and walked back to the front door.
"Hey, what's up?" Philip asked with worry.
"Just… Thank you. Heaven knows I couldn't have done it without you." Lukas kissed Philip then, uncaring about Helen and Gabe, and possibly Bo, seeing them.
"You would have, eventually," Philip affirmed. "Maybe not yet, but someday… You're stronger than you think."
They smiled at each other, faces close together and bodies touching.
"I'll call you later tonight, okay?" Lukas said.
"Can't wait."
Philip walked back to the car and Lukas watched as they drove away. He looked back at the house, sighed, and walked in, ready to talk to his father like he never thought he would.