Chapter Text
A Jester walked along the halls of a newly resuscitated simulation.
After a tumultuous set of days, its curtains were re-opened to a new life, a new form of existence, and a new her.
The name she’d held before it didn’t matter. Not to her. Not anymore.
If only others had been so lucky.
The abstracted, those who weathered the storm too long and lost themselves, would never be able to live or experience their new abilities the same way, though not for a lack of trying.
They had been made free to whirl about in a multitude of habitats, making the most of their existences in their less defined, ever shifting and crackling bodies.
Well, most of them.
Pomni reached the Circus' meeting place. The living room of sorts.
The others had gathered, discussing amongst themselves plans and excursions for the coming days. There were worlds to visit, things to do, and memories to be made.
She walked past them, stopping just outside the large makeshift tent to the side. The resting place of the abstraction they held closest.
She raised a hand to the tent flap before hesitating.
“Think they’ll be a little more calm today?”
Zooble walked over from the couch, similarly hesitant to breach the tent.
Pomni looked over at them, grateful to have backup.
“I hope so, I don’t want Jax to be alone for too long. Figured I’d check up on… huh, ‘they’ll’?”
Zooble gave her a glance before nervously scratching their arm.
“Maybe it’s presumptuous, but I just thought, after seeing who we all are-er, were on the outside, that Jax would maybe find that more… comfortable.”
They shrugged.
“You don’t go to queer bars for no reason.”
Pomni looked back at the tent flap before thinking back, reflecting on the things she had seen when she hugged the abstraction.
The visions, the fragments of Jax’s mind, the statements made(those by the one in the maid dress in particular), and the barricaded door.
“Oh, Jax…”
Her hand continued forward and grasped the tent flap. She gestured to Zooble.
“Let’s make sure they’re comfortable then, yeah?”
They nodded back, raising a hand to the other flap.
With one last held breath, the two headed inside.
The moment they did, they could feel the static in the air, emanating from the center of the abode.
The abstraction laid there. Jax laid there, multicolored eyes blinking lazily.
“Hey.”
Pomni walked forward through the static, grabbing one of the scattered pillows to lay in front of Jax and sit on. Zooble followed suit.
“We came to keep you company.”
The eyes widened, turning synchronously towards the two.
Pomni stiffened at the sudden attention before shrugging it off.
This wasn’t a monster, this was Jax, someone she cared about.
She opened her mouth, and began to talk.
She talked about everything. She talked about nothing. She jumped from topic to topic, bringing up anything that crossed her mind, from old memories to imagined hypotheticals.
All the while Zooble interjected, filling Jax in on what the others had been working on and what they were up to. They dived into all the happenings at the circus, intent on making sure there was nothing that Jax wasn’t in on or included in.
By the time the conversation had begun to die down, Jax had moved closer. The eyes were more alert, and the abstracted form more active.
As Zooble finished their last sentence, Jax lowered to their level.
An abstracted limb slowly stretched, held seemingly gingerly in front of them.
They paused, before nervously responding in kind.
The limb pressed into Zooble’s hand, and quickly retracted.
They flexed it, feeling the staticky tingling of their now glitched hand, and looked back to Jax.
“Huh. I don’t think we’ve ever shook hands before. Well, not without you trying to take my arm off or buzzer me at least. Guess that means you’re finally warming up to-”
Zooble paused as Jax shook.
What was once a constant static in the air retreated before emanating out in pulses, each paired with a noise both low and strained.
Pomni jumped to her feet and rushed to their side.
“J-Jax! What’s wrong? Are you…?”
Crying. The eyes were crying.
The two watched as abstract mass and color collapsed, seemingly curling up on itself.
The noise continued, forming into what they could only interpret as wheezing sobs.
Pink and blue tears flowed like oil sliding across an erratic, shimmering surface.
In front of Pomni and Zooble, Jax broke. Form and sound shattered into a cacophony of agony. Pulses became spikes. Sobs became wails. Were it not for the conjured properties of the tent, the whole circus may have rang and shook.
The two found themselves at a loss, before looking to each other with a flash of recognition.
They knew how to help. They’d done it before, they could do it again.
They braced themselves, and made contact.
A hallway floated, broken apart.
Some doors hung open. Others had been torn off their hinges. Only one door remained closed.
Zooble looked around, rings of color emanating from each unsteady step.
“This is what you saw?”
Pomni followed.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t this… torn.”
They stopped at the remaining door.
Its barricades were gone.
Before either of them could raise a hand, it burst open.
Out came an onslaught of colors. The two bore witness to flashes of yellow that shifted to blue that shifted to green. Songs played, bleeding from one to the next, to the next. Memories bled from body to body, pouring upon them an entire range of emotion in a single moment. Fragments upon fragments folded on themselves, more coherent in some places and less so in others.
Then all at once, it stopped. The sensation faded. The room cleared.
In it stood Jax.
In it also stood Jax.
They stared at each other before looking over to their guests.
One Jax, basked in pink light, looked at Pomni. Their face flashed from one of recognition to one of sadness. A smile bordered on both sides with tears.
“You don’t know when to quit, do you?”
She sniffled, flashing back a shaky, uncertain smile of her own.
“I wish I was worse at it.”
Their breathing began to pick up pace as she continued.
“Maybe then I could’ve done something. M-maybe I could’ve-”
“No. Stop.”
The Jax pleaded, covering their eyes with an arm. They shook, trying desperately to avoid falling apart.
“Not here. Not now”
The other Jax, sporting a bow, stepped over.
“Hey.”
She took their hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.
“It’s okay. You can cry. You don’t have to hide.”
She looked at Zooble, before gesturing with her head.
“Little help?”
Taking the cue, Zooble moved to Jax, placing a hand on their shoulder.
With a heavy sigh, they spoke.
“I wish it didn’t turn out like this. I really do. It sucks. So much about this sucks, but…”
Their grip tightened.
“It doesn’t have to suck alone. I meant what I said about you being one of us. Even now, after everything. It doesn’t matter that we’re not… ‘real’, per se. What matters is that we’re here. That we exist. That we’re together.
We’re not letting you go so easily.”
Slowly, Jax removed their arm from in front of their eyes, and fell to the ground.
What followed came an echo of the outside. Sobs broke and tears flowed.
Embraced by Zooble, Pomni, and the one part of herself that barely saw the light of day, Jax bawled.
Her tears were joined by those of the others, pooling together until, after what felt like forever, she ran out.
Face soaked and tear ducts dry, she pulled back, wiping her eyes with one hand and clutching her legs with the other.
Zooble followed suit, falling back and taking a moment to breathe, before looking between the two Jaxes.
“Fucking hell, Jax. You could have said something about all…” They waved their hand around from the other Jax to the rest of the room “this.”
Jax clutched her legs closer to her chest.
“You put me in a maid dress to laugh at me.”
Zooble froze, lowering their hand.
“...I did.”
They looked down.
“I’m sorry.”
Jax huffed.
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I haven’t done worse.”
She sucked a breath in through her teeth.
“Do you… remember what you said to me? On the beach? About how if I had… problems… I could talk about them to people I trust?”
Zooble’s eyes widened, glancing at Pomni nervously.
“Do you… trust me?
Jax lowered her eyes and looked away.
The Jax with the bow perked up.
“I do.”
She held her own legs to her chest.
“I trust both of you.”
She hung her head low. Her voice became quiet.
“I’m… not sure I should, but… trusting Ribbit was the only time I was let out. Well, that and-”
She curled in on herself. Jax spoke up.
“Mom.” Her tone a mixture of bitterness and sadness in one.
After taking a moment to digest what they’d said and what it meant, Pomni shifted over to the Jaxes, slowly and deliberately pulling them back into a hug.
They didn’t resist, instead leaning into the offer.
As she pulled away, the bowed Jax gave a small, sad smile before placing a hand on Jax’s shoulder and fading away into dust and smoke.
Jax sniffled, wiping her face one last time before looking to Pomni and Zooble.
“Okay.”
She took a deep, shaky breath.
“Let’s talk.”