Work Text:
Phil gingerly rubbed at his eyes, the ceiling slowly appearing into view as his vision cleared. Sunlight peaked through the curtains, illuminating the dimly lit room. Phil yawned and stretched himself out on the bed, feeling the tension in his muscles ease. He let out a groan before burrowing his nose into his pillow. He wasn't used to waking up this early. Usually he slept in until Dan would gently wake him up, running his hands through his hair and giving him a cup of coffee. Yet here he was wide awake, staring at the back of Dan's head as the quiet ticking of the clock filled the room. He lifted his nose out of the pillow, and balanced himself on his elbow to get a better look at Dan's sleeping figure. What he saw made his breathe hitch. Dan lay peacefully on his side, slightly curled up into himself as he hugged the blanket closely to his chest. Sunlight kissed his face, making his pale skin appear a deep olive. A cluster of freckles dotted his cheeks, like constellations stretched out into an endless sky. His dark brown hair was strewn across his face, the messy curls gently hugging the back of his neck.
Dan smiled softly in his sleep, his dimples slowly appearing onto his cheeks. Phil felt his throat tighten as he stared at him laying peacefully in their bed. He couldn't will himself to look away. A warm sensation bloomed in his chest. He was unable to contain the smile that spread across his face, as Dan giggled quietly in his sleep. It felt like his heart was going to burst from the fondness that he felt building up inside him. Slowly, he leaned in closer to Dan's face. How lucky he was that he got to wake up every morning to this. A quiet stillness engulfing the room, sunlight peaking through the curtains as his heart, his whole world, lay peacefully beside him, dozing off without a care in the world. How lucky he was that someone as wonderful as Dan walked into his life. That someone like Dan felt safe enough to bear his heart and soul to him because of how much he trusted him. That was what love was after all. Exposing all the rotten, beautiful, and ugly parts of yourself to someone and having them silently hold your hand and say "I got you."
When Phil was younger, he thought that when he found the one, the love he felt would dwindle over time. How stupid he was back then. The warmth inside chest had never dwindled when he was with Dan, not even on their worst days. If anything it had grown over the years. Early on in his relationship with Dan, the feeling in his chest felt like a scorching fire. It was a new sensation that laid his heart bare. Something so intense that he was afraid he would crumble underneath it's weight. It scared him then, how much he wanted Dan. It wasn't just some silly crush or fling that he would forget in a few weeks. This was something that he had been looking for his whole life. Someone to laugh at stupid jokes with, to fall asleep next to, to kiss until his lips were bruised. Someone to sit in complete silence with, and not feel the need to fill in the empty space with words because their presence was enough.
Someone who would make him feel like he belonged. That person for him was Dan. It always would be.
Yet now that feeling stilled into something different. As Dan and him had grown, so had the fire in his chest. Now it was grounded. He didn't feel crushed by it's weight, but instead carried it on his shoulders with ease. They'd been together so long now that they didn't need to worry about losing each other. Phil had already given every part of himself to Dan. What more could he have to lose?
Dan stirred in his sleep, rolling onto his back with his eyes still closed. The back of his hand rested gently against his forehead. He tilted his head to side, exposing the long curve of his neck. Now that Dan was laying on his back, Phil could more clearly see the details of his face. Light crow lines engraved into his skin, the stubble on his chin, long eyelashes caressing his eye lids, his brows slightly furrowed. Dan was a sight to behold. Phil could spot remnants of the boy he had fallen in love with all those years ago all throughout his face. An awkward, closeted eighteen year old Dan who had hunched himself inwards and spoke with an adorable posh accent. Who smiled brighter than the sun, and looked at Phil with his watery brown eyes like he had hung the stars.
They both had the same dimples engraved into cheeks, yet now crows feet appeared onto Dan's face when he smiled. Dan used to stand hunched into himself, but now he stood tall and proud, unafraid of who he was. He never could have imagined how much Dan would grow throughout the years. So much of him had changed, yet traces of the young man he fell in love with remained. Little remnants of the Dan from so long ago, now grown and changed over time. It made his heart swell with an overwhelming feeling that he could not describe. No words could ever explain how much Dan meant to him. So he figured he could let his actions do the talking instead.
Phil traced the freckles scattered across the expanse of Dan's skin. He let his fingers run across his shoulders, as if he were building a constellation from connecting the dots. Phil brushed Dan's messy curls out of his face, and gently stroked his forehead. He felt the warmth of his skin radiating onto his fingertips. Phil ran his thumb across the cluster of freckles laid across Dan's cheeks, marveling at how they glowed in the sunlight. Dan giggled in his sleep, leaning his cheek more into Phil's hand. Phil smiled softly as he began to place featherlight kisses onto the freckles on Dan's shoulders. He moved up to gently press his lips along his neck, up to the the curve of his chin, to the soft skin in the corner of his mouth, anywhere he could find. Dan eyelids fluttered as a soft smile appeared on his face. He chuckled as Phil placed more featherlight kisses all over his face.
"Stop it!" giggled Dan as he opened his eyes.
Phil pressed a deep kiss into Dan's dimple, releasing it with a smack. He cupped his face in his hands as he brushed curls out of his face. Dan gazed at him like he was his whole world, his eyes shimmering in the rays of sunlight. Phil felt his heart beating wildly in his chest.
Dan smiled as he leaned in forward. "Well, hello you. Someone is in a sappy mood today."
Phil chuckled. "Good morning, you stupid bitch."
Dan laughed softly. "You wake me up with kisses and then call me a bitch first thing in the morning?!"
"Have to keep you on your toes."
Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's neck and pulled him closer, their noses grazing each other. He smiled warmly.
"Wow. Look at what you put me through…" Dan whispered, his voice was dripping with admiration.
Phil leaned down to wrap his arms around Dan's shoulders, their chests moving against each other with the gentle rise and fall of their breathes.
He grinned as he rested his forehead against Dan's. "So are you going to kiss me or…?"
Before he could finish the sentence, Dan leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Phil's. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Dan's neck. Phil let his hands run through his curls at the back of his head. The warmth in his chest continued to grow as he deepened the kiss, letting himself get lost in the feeling of Dan's lips. Phil pressed himself as close as he could, like he were trying to crawl into Dan's skin and become one. This was what he had wanted his whole life. A tingling warmth in his chest, soft skin pressed against his, this deep consuming desire. All of it was here in the safety of their bed. In the home they had built together. Phil chuckled against Dan's lips, his smile breaking the kiss.
"You know, it's kind of hard to kiss you when you're smiling so much" Dan murmured against Phil's lips.
Phil leaned his forehead against Dan's and smiled. "Sorry, it's just… I'm so happy."
Dan paused for a moment and cupped Phil's face with his hands. He stared deeply into his eyes before kissing him intensely, letting his slim fingers grip the back of Phil's head. Phil sighed into the kiss, wrapping his arms tighter around his neck and pulling him closer. His heart fluttered in his chest as they remained that way, exchanging kisses for what felt like hours.
Phil leaned back eventually, his hands still wrapped around his curls. Dan's pupils had grown twice the size. A soft blush spread on his cheeks and his lips were now bright red. Phil felt tears brim in his eyes as looked away, embarrassed. Dan held his chin and tilted his face towards him, before gently wiping them away.
"You're such a sap, bubby" Dan whispered, running his thumb along Phil's lips.
Phil chuckled as buried his nose into the crook of Dan's neck. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil, placing a soft kiss onto the top of his head. Slowly he ran his fingers through Phil's hair, his nose buried into his head. Phil pressed his lips against his neck, inhaling the sweet scent of Dan's skin. Maybe they weren't the people that they were before. But why would Phil want to go back when what he had now was perfect? He felt adoration bubbling in his stomach, threatening to spill out. How could he possibly express to Dan how much he meant to him? No amount of words could ever be enough. He could shout at the top of his lungs of how much he loved him, or even whisper sweet nothings into his skin. It wasn't enough. Yet he found that grand displays of love didn't matter right now. Neither did words.
Because there was a silent I love you in nearly everything they did for each other. Every knowing glance across the room, every gentle squeeze of a hand, every kiss to soft skin, every laugh that made their stomachs hurt was a silent confession of love. Phil didn't want words. Because here, wrapped in each others arms, basking in the sunlight, safe in their bed, was the only I love you that he would ever need.