Chapter Text
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" is a question that Kamishiro Rui never really had an answer for. Most people had aspirations and dreams turned into concrete timelines they could follow, but not Rui.
Of course, he still had his greatest dream: to unite people all over the world, regardless of boundaries, with the greatest show imaginable. And of course, he worked hard daily in order to make it come true. But he didn't have specific details, no - Rui was a genius who worked at his own pace.
(Even during junior high, the future was never something Rui anticipated. Unless there was a particularly interesting show to catch or a fascinating robotics convention in the area, he wouldn't really look forward to or plan his days out. At least, that's what he swore to himself, the facade he put up to avoid what he knew would only bring pain.
But to be perfectly honest, there had been several moments when he wasn't sure the future held a spot for the monster who masqueraded as an innocent little boy.
Even so, he lived on. Not with hope, but with the uncertain knowledge his life seemed to be defined by.)
Since then, Rui had forged his own path, uncaring of if the world ridiculed it or not. However, the main change in his attitude from junior high came from the fact that Rui cherished every moment in the present, rather than drifting by aimlessly from day to day.
Rui sighed, leaning back as far as his chair would allow him to go and stretching until he heard a few bones crack. It was currently nearing midnight: late by Tsukasa and Emu's standards, but the perfect time to relax and unwind for Nene and Rui. And that's exactly what the director was trying to do.
Key word: trying.
Though the late hour did explain why the genuis's thoughts spiraled as they did. The simple discussion question Emu had stumbled across earlier that day still weighed heavily in his mind.
A few hours earlier…
"Look at this question I found on PicShare during lunch today!! " Emu exclaimed, passing her phone to Nene. The four of them were meandering through Phoenix Wonderland, simply content to be in each other's presences. It had been a rare evening in which all four of their schedules had a free spot, and Emu's impromptu decision to hang out had led here.
Evening light glared off of Emu's phone as it switched hands, momentarily blinding the boys as they trailed behind.
"Oh, that's an interesting one," Nene commented idly after a moment. "Give me a sec to think about it."
She passed the phone to Tsukasa, who hummed thoughtfully and passed it back to Rui.
"What, no comment from the world future star?" Rui teased.
"I'm thinking!!" he proclaimed dramatically, gently shoving Rui's shoulder. Rui chuckled and glanced down at the post; it read:
"If you could swap places with one person for a day, who would you swap with?"
Oh, Rui thought. That is quite intriguing.
"I have my answer," Nene said. "It's Emu."
Emu squealed with delight. "Nene-chan, you wanna be me for a day?! That's so wonderhoy!"
"Ehh!? But why?" Tsukasa exclaimed in response.
"It's quite simple, really," Rui smirked. "Video games."
Nene glared at Rui. "No. Well, yes, her insane stamina would help with playing longer games in one sitting. But that's not the main point."
"Sure, it isn't," Tsukasa grumbled. "What is your real reason then, pray tell?"
"I want to know what it's like having that much energy all the time," Nene said. "And how she pulls off all those stunts. She chains them like combos…"
Oh, there was definitely more to that answer. Rui nudged at Nene's hand, grabbing her attention. When she turned to look, he flashed one of his knowing smirks at her. She glared in response and mouthed later.
Rui took the hint, though he knew her real answer had to do with the differing personalities of the two girls. He had been friends with the diva for long enough to understand her motivations.
"I'll show you alllll of my epic stunts, then, Nene-chan! And I'll teach you too!" Emu was saying, and Nene turned to focus on the shorter girl.
"N-no, I physically don't think I could learn them…"
"Anyway, what about you, Emu-kun?" Rui prompted.
Emu giggled. "I'd wanna switch with my older brothers!!"
The director nodded with understanding. "An expected yet wise choice. You want to see more about management from their perspectives, no?"
"Ehehe, exactly!"
"As for I," Tsukasa interrupted dramatically, "I would love to spend the day… as Asahi!"
Another expected answer. Nene voiced as much, and the two started bickering.
"It's an invaluable experience!" Tsukasa defended. "To be in the mindset of one of the greatest actors of our time!"
"Yeah, but there's other actors too, what about your idol-"
"This is true! However! Asahi is the one within my reach, so I must learn from him thoroughly first-!"
"Guys!" Emu interrupted, nipping the budding argument before it could bloom. "We still haven't asked Rui-kun!"
"Oh, yeah," Nene muttered.
Tsukasa groaned lightheartedly. "He's going to say some strange answer like Nene-Robo. 'Oh, to be a machine and experience the life of one of my babies!' or something." The sunset haired blonde even completed the impression with Rui's signature expression.
"Oya, that's an angle I hadn't considered," Rui teased. "Your mind is truly that of a star… perfectly understanding of the experiments I should conduct! Why, we could-"
"No."
"I haven't said anything yet…?"
"I refuse."
Rui wilted. "Fiiine… well, the true answer to the question lies in how the switch will occur."
"Now what does that mean?"
"Basically, there are two major scenarios to consider." Rui lifted up a single finger. "Is the switch physical? Meaning, are you left in your own body, but have changed positions in life? For example, Nene would still be Nene, simply living the role of Emu's life. The easiest form of this switch is one we could do right now - but there are more facets to consider. I won't expand on those right now.
"The second scenario is a spiritual switch. Is it your soul - that is to say, the core memories and experiences that define you - swapping places with the other? There are more nuances here as well, and it was along this spectrum you three gave your answers."
"Wow, you really thought about it that deeply, huh," Tsukasa muttered to himself. "This does change my answer…"
"We can answer both versions, then! So, Rui-kun, who would you spiritually switch places with?"
Rui finally paused in his thought process. Truth be told, the type of switch didn't quite matter to him, nor did the many nuances he had considered. In the end, he had a single, unchanging answer:
"Regardless of the type of switch, I would swap with… my junior high self."
His troupemates went silent; Nene even paused the idle game she was playing as they strolled along. She turned to stare at him.
That's a loaded answer, her gaze said.
Quite, he agreed.
She didn't pry. "So after all of that thinking, you have the same answer no matter what? What was the point of adding the rest of that conversation? The physical swap or whatever."
"Ah-ah, but it's the fun of contemplation with these type of questions, is it not?"
"What would you even do?" Tsukasa asked, looking genuinely baffled.
"You see… if I left a few notes with my junior high self, I'm sure I could make the future a much more lively place…"
"Hold on. Rui. You don't mean-"
"Ah, it appears Tsukasa-kun has understood immediately!" Unrestrained glee started coloring each word. "That's right! I'd leave notes of my best and brightest experiments with my younger self, and he would be able to color the halls of school with many more dazzling tests from the start~!"
"Whoa! Like Rui-kun's new glitter bomb design?!" Emu started jumping and twirling, grabbing Rui's hands in the process. Up and down she went; her joy was infectious. "That's so wonderhoy!"
"Absolutely not!" Tsukasa shrieked. "Rui might actually go to jail at that rate!"
Rui giggled, a grin stretching across his face. "But you see, Tsukasa-kun, I can leave notes about avoiding any… punishment, let's put it that way."
A drawn out groan. "We're all going to jail as his accomplices," Nene bemoaned.
The group of four kept laughing and chattering, and Rui felt that familiar swell of warmth that colored almost every interaction he had with his troupemates. As they slowly made their way out of the park, Rui couldn't stop thinking about that happiness in the moment, in that dreamland of smiles and joy.
(As well as everything he would've given to have felt such happiness back then.)
And now he was here, seated at his old and worn desk. His fingers traced the ever-familiar wood grain of the tabletop, thoughts continuing to drift further and further from the robot in pieces on his desk.
Another personal project; he always inventing. But for the first time in a long, long while, he felt deeply disconnected from what usually brought him an immense amount of joy. He never thought he'd see the day (not again, not in the future like this).
What a troublesome question, he thought. Intriguing, very much so. Yet still troublesome. He wondered how his younger self would react now, surrounded by unconditional love and support from multiple sources. How he'd feel upon seeing connections reforged, to see old friends thriving now more than ever.
…but most of all, he wondered if his junior high self could come to accept this love.
It was these thoughts that slowly lulled him into a fitful and restless sleep.
-~-
In the darkness, he wandered around. He was walking, but that's all he could be sure of. Whether he was walking forward, backward, up, or even down - he could not tell.
The one thing he was sure of was the increasing amount of effort each step took. His feet scrabbled against an invisible force, slipping and sliding as if he sinking into quicksand. His hands were of no use; the rough, tiny grains slipped through his fingers and refused to give way to his increasingly frantic attempts to escape.
Slowly, his legs lost the strength to walk.
Slowly his torso became immobilized.
Slowly, his arms were chained down.
Slowly, the sand covered even his head.
The unforgiving coldness of his restraints chilled him to his core, desperate in their attempt to drag down the reformed monster to his roots.
And so he sank down,
down,
down,
until he could not breathe.
Each strained gasp of air only made a path for to more of the cursed sand to enter his lungs, until his mouth and nose were rendered entirely useless.
He suffocated, still struggling, unwilling to give up even at the end,
but the chains of rebuilt rock were relentless.
-~-
Rui awoke with a gasp. Or an attempt at one, as he found himself horribly tangled in a strange softness, head and all. His wrist was aching sharply from where it was getting yanked at by his struggle, not to mention how uncomfortably the thing wrapped around his face and neck. A good minute or so of fighting freed him from his impromptu prison, however, and he took stock of his surroundings.
First things first - he didn't remember going to sleep with a blanket.
Well, he didn't remember falling asleep at all, but that was beside the point.
Rui stared at the cause of his confinement. The blanket was a striped blue and white one, complete with a sprinkling of teal stars - a blanket he hadn't seen in at least few years. Perhaps his parents had kept it, and in a rare moment of nostalgia, draped it across his sleeping form. It was odd, but not unheard of - his mother occasionally liked to check on him when she thought a particular project of hers would pique his interest as well.
But this blanket? It was an odd choice, for sure.
The second detail that caught his attention was the fact that his project was… missing. Inexplicably gone from the table, replaced by a scattered array of much more mundane parts.
…his mother would never mess with his projects like that, not without leaving an explanation at the very least.
Rui straightened in his chair, the soft blanket collapsing in a heap by his feet. He tried swiveling his seat, but it screeched against the floor - a wooden sound, not the smooth plastic of wheels of his current one.
There was no note in sight, and his room...
How… odd. If my hypothesis is correct, then…
A glance at the corner- yes, there she was: Robonene, as pristine (from a lack of use) as the day he made her. His garage lacked the decoration, personality, or warmth of his current workshop's setup. The wooden chair he sat in was not yet upgraded for comfort.
And the blanket he hadn't seen since his junior high days.
On top of that, he was wearing a crumpled white shirt, paired with stained and baggy plaid pants. A blue tie draped loosely around his neck, as if he had never bothered to change out of the uniform. It was among the worse of his habits back then.
He ran a hand through his hair, and sure enough, it was just as tangled and badly cared for as he remembered it to be.
I've returned…
Rui stood up, and took note of how his vision didn't quite reach the same height as he was used to.
…back to the past.
Rui let himself mildly panic about this detail for a grand total of two minutes (because Rui could never have predicted the day his troupe literally manifested time travel), go on a mental tangent for five (since surely his younger self was in his current self's spot, though just what this meant avoided the director for now), before he decided to pull himself together and head to school. There was no reason to skip, and… he might meet a certain junior high outcast there.
If she even decided to show up today, that is. If not, Rui knew where she lived.
A glance at his phone revealed an hour before school started - but when Rui moved away from the confines of his desk, his entire body groaned in protest.
…Right. His habits had never been the greatest during junior high, but maybe he could nudge himself in the right direction, starting now.
The alchemist decided to run his younger and less nimble body through a few stretches, feeling more than one joint pop and crack in their disuse. His muscles cried at the burn of each stretch, unused to exercises he now did on the regular. He showered, brushed his teeth, and even started a batch of his laundry.
(No doubt his mother would see it and question him later, amazed at the overnight shift in his behavior. He didn't think much of it, though.)
But Rui's hair was somewhat of a lost cause - as he ran his hands through the unruly and tangled mop, he sighed. The efforts yielded minimal success, and he chose to strategically retreat from the matter of his hair. Looks like he'd have to pay a visit to the barber later anyway - the neglect went beyond a home remedy.
With his life somewhat temporarily sorted out, Rui checked the clock again; he had about twenty minutes before school started. So he grabbed his schoolbag, a fresh notebook, and a variety of pens instead of his usual toolkit before heading off to school.
It wasn't too far from where he lived - Rui was able to walk there in a little over ten minutes - but to be fair, he had long and fast strides. It would take the average person about fifteen minutes to make the walk.
With this much time to spare, the purple haired boy decided to take the longer route: the one that allowed him to walk uninterrupted, eyes gazing into a clear blue sky. Spring was upon Shibuya, and several drops of pink sweeped the streets. The cherry blossom trees were in full bloom, sending showers of sakura rain upon all the pedestrians. Not a cloud could be seen in the crystal expanse above him, yet a gentle breeze tousled through his clothes regardless.
It was almost graduation - both in junior high Rui's time, as well as present Rui's time. This made sense, as both levels of schooling ended at similar times - and he would've swapped with himself on the same date. It would be interesting, albeit a bit stupid if he ended up on a different date instead.
That being said, he didn't quite know where he was going to end up. After graduation, that is. He'd probably aim for a higher education at some university, where the course content could genuinely challenge his intellect. Perhaps he'd take a secondary course of sorts in the art of directing to expand his horizons and keep in touch with his passions. He could contact other theaters to train with them for a period of time.
A certain blue and green uniform flashed through Rui's mind. Asahi's offer still rattled around in his head; it had never really left to begin with. Honestly, he had tried to stop thinking about it - not when Wonderlands x Showtime was still thriving. For once, Rui found himself slightly dreading the future. New and exciting things were on the horizon, yes, but with opportunity came sacrifices. Something had to be lost in order to gain another thing.
Ah, these are the rabbit holes I try to avoid, Rui thought wistfully, ignoring the painful clench of his heart.
The director tore his gaze from the sky, returning himself to Earth; the gates of the school were in sight now. The walk went by much faster than he had realized. At the very least, he thought, I should make the most of this unique opportunity I've been given.
More than a few people gave him strange looks as he strolled through the halls to his first class. Rui had never been one to care for the school's schedule, and this oftentimes led to him arriving late to every class. Not once had he been on time, much less early.
His classroom was relatively empty once he entered; most of the kids were probably in other classrooms chattering away with their friends. Rui got seated, pulling out the notebook: it was a plain black thing, but the cover was quite sleek. It was filled with lined pages, which were a slightly off-white color. It wasn't a notebook he recognized, meaning he had probably never used it before. The quality was quite nice, though - he found it slightly strange.
Probably something to do with the entire "time travel" aspect, seeing as I am literally in the past. But now wasn't the time to work on his various hypotheses - that would come later.
As the ambient noise in the classroom ramped up, Rui laid out the multitude of pens on his desk. He had every color he needed: orange, purple, green, and pink. Simply seeing the four colors next to each other had his lips lifting in a soft smile.
He creased the spine of the notebook, opening up to the first place. The bell rang and homeroom began, but Rui hardly paid attention as he got to work.
-~-
The hours passed by in a blur of ink and scribbles until the class erupted into noise, shattering any form of concentration Rui had. It must be lunchtime, he grumbled slightly in annoyance, but the break would very much be a welcome one. His wrist was aching (somewhat badly, he noted - he must've been too focused earlier to notice) with the strain of writing. He flexed his hand and started packing up his supplies.
The pens were zipped safely into a pocket, and the notebook was halfway into his bag when it was rudely snatched out of his hands.
And action, Rui wryly thought before looking up.
Above him loomed the figures of two boys and a girl. The one in the front - a boy with a shock of black hair, hazel eyes semi obscured behind a pair of glasses - held his notebook like a dirty piece of laundry.
"What have you been up to this time, Kamishiro?" the boy sneered, placing a disgusted emphasis on Rui's name. The other boy - a brunette, hair falling slightly past his shoulders, blue eyes piercing cold - laughed meanly. "You've been scribbling away like a madman, did you think we wouldn't notice?" He grabbed the book out of Glasses's grip, tossing it from hand to hand and miming motions of dropping it.
Rui glanced at the front of the class. No teacher; she was standing outside of the class. The students were only this bold when it came to him and Mizuki, after all - the two weirdest freaks at the school. In junior high, Rui would have let the words wash over him like a wave, not caring what was said about him - though he wasn't completely immune to the hurtful words, which had started a viscous cycle of constant bullying. He had been facing the same trio for almost the entire year by this point in time.
But there was one major change in Rui's behavior today.
The older, more experienced inventor simply didn't care for the mean spirited actions of the children in front of him. They were still learning to navigate the world, after all, and Rui had never held any ill will to the trio due to this. They simply couldn't come to understand his point of view, led onward by a lack of learned empathy. It was never their fault. So with a single fluid movement, Rui rose out of his seat.
The girl - blond hair tied into a side bun, vibrant red lipstick clashing rather horribly with her bright green eyes - flinched back slightly. There was a hint of something else swirling in her eyes, but she ignored it and sneered. "Oh look, he tried to be pretty today," she said in a disgustingly sweet tone. "What horrors have you written down this time?" Blue eyes tossed the notebook over, and she grabbed it and flipped to a random page near the front.
Before she could start reading anything out loud, Rui snatched the notebook back - much to the shock of the egotistical trio. He lightly dusted off the cover, before placing it gently in his bag and zipping it closed.
Rui knew exactly what was going through Glasses's mind as he snarled, stepping forward threateningly. These children had never faced any real opposition in life, and having it come from someone they treated as lesser was bound to be a shock.
"What the hell do you think youre doing, Kamishi-"
"Does this really make you feel that powerful?" Rui interjected calmly.
"What?"
"This…" the purple haired boy gestured at the situation, "power trip. The control over another person's emotional state. Does it really mean that much to you?"
"…And what authority gives you the right to talk back like that?" Red lipstick hissed. She had her phone pulled out now, and part of him thought she was recording the entire thing.
She probably was.
All the more incentive to deliver a stunning performance, then.
"My own authority, actually," Rui replied easily. "When will you grow up? The only ones who truly care about your show of dominance are yourselves - I assure you that no one, absolutely no one else, gives a shit." The three flinch back slightly at his foul language; they aren't used to him swearing so casually - or standing up for himself at all, to be honest. They were used to the skittish and closed off boy who could barely even make eye contact.
Rui gently shouldered his backpack before shoving past the stunned trio. "For your own sakes, I hope you realize the world doesn't work on flimsy excuses of authority. It'll be better for you in the long run if you learn that now, rather than failing when it truly matters."
Rui cast a single parting glance, revealing a shocked expression on the girl's face. She's genuinely considering my words.
Of course, she tried to school it into another ugly sneer when they make eye contact, but they say the eyes are the window to the soul - and hers looked deeply troubled.
Rui made his way to the rooftop.
Of course he remembers the three main bullies that had turned his - and Mizuki's - entire year into their own personal hell. He remembered trying to fight back on Mizuki's behalf in the early stages, but her fear - of being singled out even more, or of any harm befalling her only companion - had her begging him to stop.
But he also remembered the inexplicable day when the blonde haired girl had apologized to him.
In Rui's present time, she was a popular social media influencer, but there had been a period of time when her online activity had dissapeared. It was for a few months between the transition from junior high to high school. By the end of it, she had come clean about her actions in the previous year, but it was more about how she regretted them and hoped to change.
The cool wind of the rooftop tousled his hair as he stepped onto the roof. It's relaxing chill came with a deep rooted realization - had his future self in his past self's body triggered that change?
He stopped, the rooftop door creaking gently in the wind.
Oh.
Oh.
At no point in the past did the director recall a reason why the bullying had died down. The girl had simply drawn away more and more, staring at the outcasted loners with guilt, before she stopped showing up altogether. Soon after, even the two boys stopped showing up. His past self had been relieved, sincerely glad that Mizuki wouldn't have to face the harsh words directly anymore.
The three were quite close, I wonder if it was the girl who persuaded them to stop?
Rui was probably going to have to be more careful lest he accidentally tear a hole into the timeline. It was probably the conversation he just had that triggered the change in the trio's behavior - which meant whatever he did today would be permanent, would define the future.
Even if he, inexplicably, remembered nothing from today. Actually, a lack of remembrance is better - it makes more logical sense. There's no script I have to follow. On the other hand, remembering means I can mess with the future as I please - though I must remain careful with the knowledge I posses of the future.
Time travel was strange; a concept Rui never expected to be able to experience once day. He clicked his tongue, settling against the fence and falling into the depths of his brain. There's a lot more I can do within reason…
It was there Mizuki found him, not too long later - about halfway through lunch. She kicked him out of his daydreaming about how he could potentially unravel the timeline as a whole, as a fun thought experiment. How rude. He voiced as much.
Rui hadn't really expected her - or rather them as this Mizuki hadn't grown as comfortable in their identity as the Mizuki he knew now - to show up today. He was honestly wondering when he would have to pay her a visit at home, something he almost never did. Yet here they were.
"You're extra mumbly today," they said. "And… neatened up. Oh no, don't tell me you came up with a good suicide plan. Is that why you're so happy?"
"What?" For once, Rui was genuinely at a loss for words. "…no? Can a man not take care of his appearance every so often?"
"I'm not against men being fashionable, I mean your entire aura is different," they argued, taking their seat next to him. "You're happier and shit. That's like, a telltale sign of suicidal people finally cementing a way out. Remove the burden of life, you know?" They peered onto his lap. "You even have a new notebook, are you writing your will or what? Do you even have possessions to hand down?"
"You noticed the notebook? Aww~"
"Not the point," they grumbled, opening up the pack of potato chips they had brought in place of lunch. They gestured at him with the first chip. "So? Spill the beans."
Now, considering what Rui had just realized, he should probably not explain the fact that he was from the future. It could have devastating consequences beyond the scope of Rui's imagination.
But he could probably spin it to be…
"I'm currently playing a new character in a new script I'm drafting. The play is about me and my future self swapping places for a day - before you ask, yes I mean our core souls, what makes up our memories and experiences. I am happier now because my future self is happier."
They narrowed their eyes at him. "Oddly specific. Why not physically?"
"Well, if you suddenly saw my older self instead, I believe you'd freak out more. Additionally, casting a physically older version without any reference point of their looks feels wrong."
"You could simulate your looks when you're older though, right?"
"That's based on my current appearance, much more may have changed in that time. Such as my hairstyle, or fashion sense."
"You can't improve what you don't have."
"I'm not bald?"
"You will be."
"That's not ominous at all."
"Yeah," they laughed together, but Mizuki trailed off into an awkward silence. Their strange behavior didn't escape Rui's notice, and he watched them pick at their clothes for a minute. It was clear they were struggling to find the right words, and the director understands now to give them time - sometimes silence made for the best of companions.
A few hesitant breaths later, Mizuki asked, "How do you know you're happy later?"
"…I don't." I do, but I can't explain why. "Sometimes I choose to believe in a better future."
A small chuckle. "Does this future self of yours have advice for poor ol' me?"
It was a clear attempt to pivot away from the suddenly heavy atmosphere, but Rui decided to indulge them. "Why yes, he does!" he smirked. "Firstly, he says to lose the blue bow, it's ugly as s-"
"Fuck no, it's only ugly to you!" Mizuki immediately shrieked, curling a protective hand around the offending scrap. "The bow's my life, and for the last time, I'm not sorry it offended you!"
"Do you really choose to pass the opportunity for improving such an integral piece of your wardrobe…?" Rui pouted.
"I know you aren't talking right now."
The "blue bow" - the school issued tie Mizuki had repurposed in a fit of rage - had become an inside joke of theirs. It was one of the few sewing projects of theirs Rui had come to genuinely dislike; cute was subjective after all. More flashes of the past crossed his mind as they both fell into a fit of giggles at the long-standing joke.
"Anyway," Rui continued once they had both recovered, "secondly: the family diner's fries are still terrible but they mean more than their salt in the future."
A squint. "…fries are all about how they are salted. And fried, obviously. What greater meaning is that supposed to hold?"
"You'll see," he said, dramatically staring off into the distance. "It's not my place to tell~"
"…I'm this close to finding a new diner, Rui," they said. "You have to elaborate, the fate of the diner is at stake."
"I believe you'll find the answer on your own," he replied vaguely, ducking his head to hide a teasing smirk. Mizuki dubiously crunched on a chip in response, bumping his shoulder in annoyance.
"You're unhelpful as fuck, you know that?"
"I strive to fail your expectations~"
"Pff- you- what?" they burst into laughter. "Oh man, never a dull day with you."
Rui let his teasing grin melt into something softer. He remembered a few selfies Mizuki had sent over nightcord, ones where she celebrated with her music group. The same group that had come to accept her, despite all of her fears surrounding her identity.
A particular picture surfaced in his head: a group of four, all in various states of disarray as they sat at a family diner. There was a wave of deep purple, who was munching stoically on a singular fry. A short haired brunette, taking a picture of her food. A waterfall of white, staring into the infinity her bowl held. But most importantly, long and confident curls of pink adorned with a cute bow, holding a fry as if she were smoking it.
It was one of his favorite photos - where Mizuki was apologetically herself, no longer running away from what had caused her so much pain in years past.
"Actually," he started, "I do have one actual piece of advice for you."
"Ah yes, you want me to go bald next."
"No, you're quite charming with long hair, I'll give you that much."
"Yeah, right." Their laugh was a little too mean as they toyed with a few short strands of hair.
Rui's brow furrowed. "I'm being serious. You alone know yourself. You just need to embrace it more."
At that, Mizuki shut up, curling into themselves a bit.
"We're soon moving into a new chapter of our lives," Rui continued. "Graduation is still a bit of a ways off, however it is almost upon us. It may take some time yet, but trust that gut feeling of yours, Mizuki. It'll make you happier than you can ever imagine, no matter what obstacles end up in your way."
Their expression had become stony, a guarded and cold thing. "Thanks," they said at length. "I'll keep that in mind."
It was a clear sign to back off, something that Rui in the past wouldn't have noticed or understood.
"…I'm starting to think you were telling the truth. This isn't method acting or whatever for some play, is it?" Mizuki finally asked. They were almost done with the bag of chips.
"No," Rui said, staring into the cloudless blue sky. Endless possibilities took shape in its depths, and he smiled. "Let's just call it a… a good day."
"What, you wake up on the right side of your 'bed' for once?"
Rui snickered a bit too hard at that comment, recalling his panic from that morning. "Something like that, sure." He finally risked another glance at his younger companion; their brows were still scrunched in thought. The wind continued to blow through his hair, yet the tangled bits were firm in place. A reminder that everything had a time and place, and pushing too hard now would only set them both back.
Mizuki would eventually come to accept themselves, and Rui trusted them to find the right path. It was something he had struggled with in the past, that urge to always have some answer ready. He was a solution oriented man, but he had come to appreciate the answers that only silence and time could provide.
He knew Mizuki would make it in the future, after all.
The rest of lunch passed with quiet mutters of discontent intercepted by little airy giggles as Rui tried to snag Mizuki's last chip. The bell rang right when he got his fingers on it, startling him enough to drop it onto the floor between the two teenagers.
"Aw man," Mizuki grumbled, "My chip."
Rui, meanwhile, stretched his stiff spine. "Shall we head back, then?" Rui offered. "I'll even buy you another bag of chips."
"Since when does the bell dismiss you?" they retorted. "I'll take you up on that offer though."
"I simply have some more places to be," he replied easily.
"Oho, are you skipping the rest of the day~?"
"As if you don't do the same."
"But you're an all or nothin' kinda guy."
This was true. Rui dedicated himself fully to every pursuit, a habit that hadn't changed. But the difference between then and now was that he had friends to pull him back when he went too far, to help him when he needed it most.
To teach him the power of transformation.
"Things change" was his only response.
-~-
Rui spent the rest of the school day at the park closest to his house. He sat on one of the swings, letting the wind do the pushing for him.
The notebook had a bunch more pages filled, but it was closed and resting idly on the swing next to him. He had transcribed some more of his thoughts into it as the sun passed its zenith in the sky and started sinking towards the horizon. With the school day's end almost upon him, the alchemist was simply waiting for the minutes to tick by.
His thoughts scattered like the cherry blossoms on the wind - many at once, but all were trivial, forgotten by the time it was out of sight. They were all insignificant, fleeting, ephemeral.
Floating away on the breeze.
His eyes tracked a singular petal until it flew behind a familiar head of sage green. Her shoulders were hunched in on themselves - right, her moment of fear on the stage had happened not too long ago. Although the two of them had stopped talking long before this, Nene's deep rooted fear had only driven a larger wedge in their friendship.
It had stopped her from trying to reach out to him.
Rui was at fault for most of their distance, but he couldn't help but think of the diva he knew now. The one who could sing fearlessly across a multitude of stages to larger and larger audiences, unrelenting in her dream to take her spot on the world's stage.
"Nene!"
At the very least, he needed to talk to her.
"Wh-" The girl flinched violently, anxious eyes scanning her surroundings until they landed on a familiar eccentric mix of purple and cyan. "R-Rui? What are you doing here-?"
She looked so small, so genuinely scared of being perceived. Had it been a stranger to call her name, she would've immediately bolted.
But it was him. Rui. Even if they had drifted apart now, they were still close friends, once upon a time.
So she stayed.
"I was simply enjoying the weather," he replied. It was stiff, formal. He tried to change his approach. "Isn't the breeze so nice right now? Look at all those petals drift by…"
Nene hesitated, shuffling her feet. "Are you okay…?" she muttered, her gaze fixed on her shoes. She kept throwing furtive little glances at him.
An understandable question - from her point of view, the two of them hadn't talked to each other in over a full year. Yet suddenly here he was (outside of his room, he may add), talking to her as if no time had passed.
"Quite," he replied. "Sit with me for a bit."
"I-I have to get home…" Nene trailed off. Those light little steps continued, torn between leaving for safety or placing a drop of trust in an old friend. She came dangerously close to tripping over her own feet; was she really this anxious about being in public? The diva flashed across Rui's mind again.
"Indulge me for a bit," he smiled softly.
She did. Rui quickly removed his notebook from the other swing, tucking it back into the bag by his feet. Nene took its place, the swing gently creaking as a new weight settled on it. Together, they watched the soft pink blossoms float, twirl, and weave through the air, almost as if they were putting on a show for the whole world to see.
Out of the corner of his eye, Rui watched Nene perk up more and more in the comfort of silence. Her eyes tracked each petal as they flew out of sight, a certain fascination following each one.
"Look at the petals dance," Rui finally said. "It's as if they're performing without a care in the world."
"Y-yeah." Nene ducked her head again, staring at the ground. The spell was broken. "Must be nice."
"How's school?"
"Okay."
The pathetic attempt at conversation died. More petals twirled by.
Rui tried again - a slightly more direct approach. "How have you been?"
She sucked in a sharp breath. "Don't- don't ask me that, Rui, you know damn well what happened."
"I do," he hummed, "but I haven't heard it from you."
"What if I don't want to tell you?" she challenged, words bristling with hurt.
Rui remained silent at that. He already knew the story, of course - Nene had explained what she felt on that stage countless times to the rest of Wonderlands x Showtime.
But the Nene of now wasn't at that point yet. She couldn't stop thinking about it, yet she avoided the hurt. So Rui decided to shift gears yet again.
"The petals seem so free."
"…they do," the sage haired girl answered warily. "What are you getting at?"
"I simply want you to admire the beauty of fleeting life."
Nene side eyed him. "It's fleeting for a reason," she finally gave in. "They'll fall to the ground and die."
"But their life doesn't end immediately upon touching the asphalt, does it?" Rui countered. "The wind picks them back up."
"They'll die in the end anyway. There's nothing more to it."
"But they can find their final resting spot on a patch of sunny grass, or behind a concrete building. They end up in another tree, or a little stream. Some even find their way to the ocean."
Nene tensed, posture going rigid. Rui paused for a moment, hoping she wouldn't flee just yet. When she didn't move, he added one final comment: "They can either ride the winds to where they want to end up, or be battered along by nature's forces. In the end, its their choice."
"This isn't about the cherry blossom petals," Nene said flatly.
"No," Rui agreed, his posture lax. "It's not."
"I'm going home now." The chains of the swing screeched as Nene abruptly stood up. There was no room for discussion. "I- I just can't, Rui. I know exactly what you're implying, but- but it's different. I just - I can't."
"Think about it, okay?" he tried.
"N- no. Don't bring this up again, Rui, I mean it. I'm- I'm leaving." Her breaths stuttered, and she quickly shouldered her bag and ran. Her footsteps hurridly receded from the area, the slap of rubber on concrete echoing until they faded out.
She was gone.
Rui dusted himself off and rose. He had accomplished enough (or so he chose to believe; he wasn't quite sure about anything that had happened today).
Now, there was just one major thing left to do.
-~-
"I'm home," Rui's voice echoed in the hallway.
"Welcome back, Rui~" his mother called out as he opened the door. Rui slipped his outdoor shoes off the entryway and padded lightly into the kitchen. "Are you not heading to your workshop?"
A warm aroma enveloped the room. "Not yet. What are you making? It smells delicious."
"Curry! It's been a while since I made it, and I thought it was perfect for today! I even made a separate portion with no vegetables for you!"
"Oh, thank you. Did something happen? At work, perhaps?"
"No, no, nothing of the sort. Let's just say…" she playfully glanced at his appearance. "I'm happy today."
Rui smiled faintly. "I'm going to head to the garage."
"Of course, dear. Dinner will be ready in an hour!"
The first thing that greeted him inside his workshop was a fresh pile of clothes, neatly folded with a little piece of paper on top. Oh, Rui realized. It's my laundry from this morning.
He gently put the clothes away, before reading the note. It was just a few words long:
'I'm proud of you. Love you <3'
That oh so familiar bubble of warmth returned in his chest. What had been a simple motion this morning had snowballed into an effect he hadn't predicted. An hour to dinner, right? Rui set a timer on his phone and got to work.
Out came the colorful pens and the no-longer-new notebook, ready to be filled with more writing. And for the next two hours, Rui wrote like a man possessed, almost crumpling pages with each turn as he poured his entire soul into the little notebook. Even the ringing of the alarm couldn't disturb his focus this time, and he only stopped once he reached his goal.
A glance at his phone informed him of the late hour, and he decided to go to the kitchen before he became too absorbed in his project again. He had already gone much more overboard than he initially planned.
Rui found his mother still in the kitchen, this time serving up the curry and rice onto a plate. She noticed his presence and motioned towards the table, eyes glinting merrily. "Sit, sit! I'll get your plate once I finish setting aside your father's portion."
"I can get it myself-" Rui tried to object, but his mother shushed him.
"Let me spoil my favorite son for a bit," she giggled.
"Mom, you only have one son."
"Exactly~!" she shot him a cheeky smirk as she covered the plate and set it into the fridge. "Don't forget to wash your hands."
Rui obliged, taking a seat at the table afterwards. He watched her flit around the kitchen, her long purple waves bouncing around as she prepared a few more dishes. The director watched his plate travel in circles in the microwave.
"Where's dad?" Rui interjected between the hum of the microwave and the rapid clatter of a knife against a wooden board. The chopping paused.
"He's got a longer day today, and won't be back until much later tonight, unfortunately." After a series of beeps, clicks, and clinking porcelain, his mother joined him at the table. She slid his steaming plate over as she sat down, and had herself a simple bowl of bananas and strawberries drizzled with chocolate: a fruit lover's version of dessert.
"So, so," she asked excitedly after the first bite, "anything happen lately?"
So much, Rui thought wryly. But it wasn't anything he could tell her… not yet, at the very least.
"No, not much. The usual. Why?" The curry was delicious, he said as much.
She grinned nodded her thanks. "Well, its not often I see you clean up like you have today. Just sitting here means a lot more to me than you realize, you know that?" She gave him a smile full of warmth and understanding. Rui's heard twisted painfully in his chest, recalling the lonesome hours spent in isolation.
His gaze slid over to the pot with the portion she had cooked separately. It was that extra effort that truly showed him how much his parents loved him and tried to support him. Even when he was too deep in another hyperfixation, or too lost inside his own mind, the comfort of his family had never left.
Even during the worst months of junior high, when he almost fully withdrew from that comfort, believing himself to be undeserving of it all. "I don't want to burden them," he'd think back then, locking himself away from the warmth of his family. His parents, the kind and understanding individuals that they were, gave him all the space he needed - putting their trust in him.
As he looked back, Rui felt as if he had violated that trust.
Of course, things had changed after he began high school (and he had finally pinpointed the cause as to why). The alchemist still remembered the expression on his parent's faces when he sat with them for a full dinner, not too long after he made up his mind to switch high schools.
That expression of relief, of delicately concealed joy had driven him to spend more time with them. You often don't realize what you miss until it's already gone, a lesson he had faced time and time again since that day.
"I'm just having a good day, is all," Rui said after a few moments - the same excuse he had given Mizuki.
"Aww, boo, be like that," she fake pouted. "I see how it is."
"No, no," Rui laughed softly. "I just…" I don't know how to put it in words.
"Fufu~ I'm just teasing you." The purple haired woman chewed thoughtfully on another bite. "Remember, Rui, don't force yourself on matters like these. If that means you need extra time before telling us, whatever it is you need to say, then that's alright."
In that moment, as her calm words washed over him, Rui felt as if he was back in grade school, tugging on his mother's shirt and being swept into a tight, familiar hug all over again.
"Yeah," he found himself agreeing. "Yeah."
"We love you, and we both understand that some things are simply revealed with time." She reached across the table, resting her palm on the back of his hand. The warmth grounded him. "I'm just happy you're doing okay - better than before, at least."
Rui ducked his head a bit, the warmth spreading to his chest. "Thanks, mom."
"That's my son," she smiled, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes after that.
"Say, how has work been for you lately? You mentioned a particular gene edit in a seed you were trying to propogate…?"
"Oh, you remembered that?"
"Of course I did."
"Hehe~ it's going swimmingly so far! I'm waiting patiently on its growth, but in the meantime, I've been given a new project. I think you'd find interesting, it's…"
Rui listened to her explain her latest project, nodding along and pausing her with questions where applicable. But he couldn't shake the faint feeling of guilt that gnawed on his heart. For someone who claimed to live in the present moment, he sure was quite distant from those around him.
The two finished their meal, and Rui's mother began to clear the dishes away.
"Wait, mom-" he halted. "Can I… get seconds, please?"
She smiled gently, cyan eyes crinkling with tender kindness. An unfamiliar sheen coated them.
"Of course, Rui. Always." She bustled off to the kitchen, and quickly prepared an extra portion of dessert for herself as well. The act sparked a certain resolution within the director.
As he took a bite of his second serving, Rui swore to never leave anyone like that again. Not his family, nor his precious treasures who helped him bloom into the man he was today.
After dinner, Rui had helped clear the table, lighthearted chatter connecting the gap of what once had been a wide chasm. It wouldn't bridge it forever, but it was an undeniable attempt to regain what he had left lost for years.
And once more, Rui found himself seated at his desk. Nighttime had fallen, though there was no window in the garage that allowed the light of the moon to pass through. Even the air was still, as if holding its breath for the displaced spirit that scribbled away in the notebook in front of him. It was the final note he had to leave, and so he fought back the exhaustion that pulled at his eyelids. Every time he felt his head droop, he would stubbornly shake himself, as if trying to physically fight the pull of sleep.
There were definitely more factors at play beyond his body's natural exhaustion - Rui was very well accustomed to pulling all nighters. Perhaps his time in the past was coming to an end, the action of switching places now having its equivalent reaction by replacing the wayward souls.
He finally finished the final (rather lengthy) entry into the notebook, closing it for the last time and setting it in the middle of the desk. The little robot project his past self had been working was set off to one side of the desk.
He just needed some paper, now, and he would truly be finished…
Rui heaved himself upwards from the table, gravity threatening to pull him back down. His balance was unsteady, the wall doing most of the work as he stumbled towards his bare bookshelf. He snatched a single piece of paper from a pile - cardstock, sturdy enough to stand tall while folded. Perfect.
He returned to the desk with similar struggle, all but falling into the chair. His vision swam - it was really time to go, wasn't it?
The paper was folded into half, cut along the bend with one half folded again. On one side, he wrote "read me" with some exclamation marks, even going so far as to add a cute border of doodles. It was placed on top of the notebook. On the other paper, he wrote a quick message - knowing his past self, he'd go for the smaller paper first - and stuck it under the half assembled robot project.
Finally, Rui grabbed the blue and white blanket from the floor, wrapping it around his shoulders before slumping fully onto the desk.
"That's all the energy I have left," he chuckled lightly to himself, burying his face into his arms. "At least I finished everything I needed to."
The dull yet oh-so familiar room slowly faded out of sight as Rui fell asleep, a final thought ringing faintly in the back of his mind:
I wonder how he fared in the future…
And the director was out like a light.
-~-
When Rui woke up the next morning, he simply remembered.
He was lying on his couch, wrapped up in a different blanket, surrounded by the comforts he had placed in his room over the years. The memories of the swapped day his middle school self lived were no longer locked behind his subconscious, flickering through his mind as if they had never left.
He quickly rose from his sleeping arrangement, locating the black notebook. It was dusty and no longer sleek with age. A handful of rapid flips through it pages revealed the singular line he remembered his past self writing that day, after all the chaotic events passed and he woke up in his own body.
The two simple words were written in a messier handwriting, ink faded with time:
'thank you.'
Don't thank me, Rui thought warmly, tracing the page with delicate fingers. Thank the people who gave you the chance to be yourself.