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Robby woke up alone in his bed.
He fumbled around to find his glasses. With the same erratic arm movement, he reached across his king sized bed. The sheets were pretty cold and he noticed the window was ajar. The sudden cold breeze made him shiver. The idea of going back to sleep crossed his mind but the thought was soon dismissed when he thought of the day ahead.
He sat up and winced at the coldness of the floorboard. He stretched his back every way known to mankind (every way explained to him by his physio). God. His back hurt. Everywhere hurt. It’s not like Michael was ancient. He had just neglected his body for a bit too long. Now he was paying the consequences.
He got up to face himself in the mirror. He was only sleeping in long boxer shorts. His bare chest was covered in hair. He spontaneously scratched in between his pecs. In the same hand movement, he grabbed at his Star of David.
He looked at his bulging belly and the train of hair that disappeared into his shorts. Luckily, helping a couple dozen patients in and out of beds every day for twenty years will give you quite strong arms and wide shoulders.
It’s not like Robby hated the sight of himself. He just didn’t particularly enjoy it either.
He looked around for an Elvis Costello shirt he used as PJs. He bent down to look under his bed and groaned at the pain in his lower back. Damn for a shirt. Robby needed coffee.
He put on some slippers and started going down the stairs. His house was comfortable and quite cozy. Michael was grateful for it. But he was more grateful at the sudden smell of freshly grounded coffee beans emanating from downstairs.
Robby felt a smile slowly take up space on his face.
“I love the way your whole face changes when you smile, your eye creases are beautiful”.
He would think about this compliment every time he felt his cheeks rise. It was almost embarrassing that, when he would smile, he would inevitably think about the man who said it and smile even wider.
Like a blissful idiot, he reached the end of the stairs. He looked at his kitchen.
There stood a man wearing a weirdly familiar shirt. Robby could not see, but he hoped that was all the man was wearing. He could, however, see very unruly blond curls. Like they were every morning.
Dennis had not seen him yet, facing away from the stairs. He seemed focused on his pan.
Getting closer, Robby noticed the white wires of earphones. Dennis never put music on when Robby was still asleep. But he lived for it. So the earphones were one of the first things he had stolen from Robby. Not that the man minded. Everything was his as well.
Dennis was a jumpy person and Michael wondered how to approach the younger man without scaring him. He hated startling Dennis, but the man was like a scared mouse, always ready to bolt if a cat came his way. It was almost impossible not to take him by surprise.
Robby opened his mouth to call his name before getting to him. But he was interrupted by the faint noise of humming from Dennis.
“Mhhh…. And maybe….my life around”
Dennis was singing very soflty. The faintest noises were coming out of the man’s mouth, the consonants barely pronounced. Like he had the urge to get out the melody but didn’t care to make a sound.
Robby felt himself melt over this scene in his kitchen.
“You bring me up when I'm down.. mhhmhh”
Dennis had started moving his hips to the rhythm in his ears and Michael could feel the funky spirit that was taking over his lover.
When he had moved in, Robby was shocked at how little the man owned. Most of his belongings fit into a large duffel bag. Except for a large box containing only vinyls. A bit of rock, disco, soul but mostly funk.
Robby felt like he was discovering a new part of Dennis at every vinyl he would listen. He had wanted to listen to each of them without Dennis to make his own opinion. But once, Dennis had caught him in the middle of the night listening his The Commodores Best Hits. Robby had tears streaming down his face. Dennis had mocked him relentlessly for crying over funk until Robby admitted he started crying over Lady (you bring me up).
“Wait, why ?” Dennis had asked incredulously.
“I have embarrassed myself enough for tonight kid, next time you listen to it, just remember I thought of you.” Robby had answered, trying to appear tough yet sensitive in an old school Humphrey Bogart way.
And there he was, listening to that song that made Robby cry, in Robby’s kitchen, wearing Robby’s shirt, making Robby breakfast. He was now close enough to hear the feeble sound coming out of the earphones.
Lady, you bring me up when I'm down
And maybe you're gonna change my life around
Michael knew the song by now. He was more remembering the melody and lyrics than actually hearing them.
Despite how he knew his lover would jolt from the sudden touch, Robby couldn't contain himself. He slowly wrapped his hands, then his entire arms around the younger man’s waist, subtly holding him in place when he inevitably jumped up in surprise.
“Oh my god, Michael, you scared me.” Dennis said, putting his free hand on his chest like clutching imaginary pearls.
Robby fumbled with the oversized shirt on Dennis to hug him tighter and nuzzled his head in the young man’s neck, dragging his nose just behind his ears. Robby knew by now how Dennis would react. He felt a shiver, kissed the man’s cheek that was strained from a certain smile on his face. His dear Dennis.
He slowly kissed his neck, ignoring Dennis’s question about how he slept last night. He removed one of his hands from Dennis’ waist to steal one earphone. After putting it in his ear, Michael returned his hand and hugged his lover’s waist even closer than before.
You came to me when I was lonely and no one cared
You made me see that I was only just runnin' scared
I saw your face and something told me you were the one
You smiled at me, and now I see my life's begun
He could hear Dennis talking, every sentence ending in a slightly higher pitch than it had started. But Robby kept trying to bury himself in the other man’s neck, suppressing every sound but the song in his right ear. He was still groggy and the world around felt like a blur. Only the contact of his body against Dennis’ mattered in his brain at this moment. He was rubbing his nose along his lover’s nape and going deep into his curls. He took a long inhale of the smell of the blond mane.
They smelt different now that Dennis had moved in. He had everything to take care of them at Robby’s now. The morning after a ‘sleepover’, like Dennis used to call them, his curls smelt of Robby’s products and laundry detergent. Now it was better, it was Robby who smelt like Dennis.
And sometimes, like now, smelling like him wasn’t enough. The sudden urge to merge, to hide his entire face into the man’s head of hair. He never used to have such an obsession for hair scalps smells. He felt insane when he realized how intoxicating it was to drag his nose from to top of Whitaker’s head to his nape, feeling the other man shiver and giggling, moving his shoulders against his control.
Dennis had once explained to him he hated people in his hair, stroking, brushing, and that Robby was one of two beings with the privilege to touch them. The other was a barn cat named Lionel who would spent every minute with Whitaker with his muzzle nuzzled in his hair. They had not gotten to a point where Robby knew everything of Dennis’s past, but he knew the good things were few and far between. Being in the same category with this cat felt like the biggest compliment for Robby.
Ignoring every question Dennis had asked about how he slept, about what he was doing, whether he wanted coffee, Robby mumbled into his hair that he loved him.
Dennis turned around, freeing himself from the grasps of Robby’s arms on his waist, to lock himself again into them, now facing his boyfriend.
No matter how often he would see this, Robby was still in complete awe. Dennis looking up at him, smiling, like Robby was his whole world.
Once I was filled with desperation
A solitary man
You gave me hope and inspiration like only true love can
The wired earphones had gotten tangled in Dennis’ pirouette to face Robby. Robby had not seen, too engulfed in Dennis’ eyes to register. Dennis was laughing fully and guiding dramatically the wire around Robby’s head so they could both still hear the music.
Now I believe in what you're saying
I'm ten feet tall
This love don't need no explaining
We've got it all
And Robby really did have it all. He put his hands on Dennis’s cheeks and kissed him delicately. As Robby drew away to look at Dennis, the latter asked :
"Well, what was that for ?”
There was a bright grin on the younger man’s face. Robby was sure he was donning the same.
“I don’t know” Robby grumbled and rose his shoulders in dismissal. “Maybe seeing you in our kitchen, wearing basically nothing but my shirt, is something I thought would never happen to me.”
“Well, hello sappy Robby, it’s been a while !” mused Dennis, somewhat tilting his head like you would looking at a cute kitten.
The urge to hide took over Robby and he put both his hands over his blushing face. But Dennis pried them away, putting them back onto his waist. Robby was blushing like a teenager, he felt the heat in his cheeks rising with no cooling in sight. Dennis seemed to revel in Robby’s embarrassment and ability to change color under his gaze.
Dennis’s arms rose up to lay on his boyfriend’s shoulders and dragged him to start slowly moving in tempo of the song. The younger man knew how little Robby could dance, but it didn't stop him from trying. They were just balancing, moving back and forth with no sense of rhythm. But it didn’t matter to Robby.
His love continued swaying but got on his tippy-toes to kiss him. Robby could taste the coffee on his tongue.
“Did you not use the good kind of coffee ?” Robby asked.
“ No, I still dont feel like I’m allowed to, I guess…” answered Dennis.
He was obviously trying to dismiss the subject all together.
“I just think we ought to keep it for important mornings… or like when something is worth celebrating.” Dennis offered.
Robby was still looking down at his lover tenderly.
“Every morning I wake up with you in our house is worth celebrating, darling.” answered Michael with an infatuated smile.
He let go of Dennis for just a second to give him the good kind of coffee.
He forced the younger man around so he could continue with the breakfast preparations. Robby’s whole body resumed his position locked into Dennis, arms around his waist, hands under his shirt, nose in his hair.
Robby smiled.
Lady, you bring me up when I'm down
Maybe you're gonna change my life around