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1. Dirty Dog (the way you're lookin at me) by StupidThingsHaveGoodOutcomesAllTheTime

   Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types, Iron Lung (2026), David Szymanski's Iron Lung - All Media Types  

   • Not Rated
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • No category
   • Complete Work

   08 Jun 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)/Ryland Grace
   • The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung) & Ryland Grace
   • The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)
   • Ryland Grace
   • IRONMARY
   • BloodyMary
   • PHM
   • Markiplier - Freeform
   • Journey to Erid (Project Hail Mary)
   • idk where Rocky is
   • he's there tho
   • queerplatonic
   • Tags to be added
   • Hair Washing
   • Praise
   • Praise Kink
   • but in like a non-sexual way
   • Crying
   • The Convict | Simon Needs a Hug (Iron Lung)
   • The Convict | Simon Lives (Iron Lung)
   • Amputee The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)
   • Touch-Starved The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)
   • The Convict | Simon Has PTSD (Iron Lung)
   • Like he's lowkey scared of water
   • The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung) Loves Ryland Grace
   • The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung) and Ryland Grace are Patron Saints of One-Way Trips
   • Ryland Grace Is Not Graceful
   • Ryland Grace - Freeform
   • Angst and Hurt/Comfort
   • Mild Hurt/Comfort
   • Emotional Hurt
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Emotional Hurt/Comfort
   • Bathing/Washing
   • Project Hail Mary Spoilers
   • Hail Mary
   • No Beta
   • Not Beta Read
   • No Beta we die like everyone if Grace doesn't save the stars
   • Tenderness
   • Simon has a thing for praise but not in a sex way in a traumatised way
   • Simon Is A Wet Cat
   • Animal Metaphors
   • if you see typos
   • No you don't
   • no AI
   • Title from a David Kushner Song
   • It's called Dirty Dog if you were wondering

   Summary

   Simon remembers when bathing was something that never took longer than 3 minutes. In, wash, and out. Not like he had a choice, with the dwindling resources. But it had seemed so thoughtless, periodic and routine that he'd never given it much consideration.

   OR

   Grace helps Simon wash his hair.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,203

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   43

   Kudos:

   585

   Bookmarks:

   70

   Hits:

   2,493