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There were reasons why Clint didn’t like medical. Many reasons. Varying reasons. Reasons that have been documented in more than one way. There’s even a waiver saying that he didn’t have to stay if Natasha or Phil were around and able to take care of him instead. It’s even signed by Coulson, Hill, and Fury (also known as the Unholy Trinity of SHIELD).
Out of all these reasons, the biggest wasn’t so much serious as it was monumentally embarrassing.
Luckily the footage of the last time had been rounded up and personally destroyed by Clint himself (although he believed that Fury had a copy somewhere for his own personal amusement). But this last time… this last time there had been too many witnesses, and they were all too young to bribe or threaten into eternal silence.
Not only was Clint very seriously hurt in the latest New York debacle, he was misplaced. Misplaced to the point that no one knew who he was and he had been brought to the hospital along with the kids he’d been protecting. And since they had run out of beds in the adults wing, Clint had been placed with the children.
And on the good drugs.
To his horror when he was finally found, he’d reacted like before and… the kids loved him. They clung to him and called him the Amazing Hawkeye, and told every single SHIELD agent and all the Avengers about him reenacting his circus days for them, doing sleight-of-hand tricks and some acrobatics, and actings the fool. He asked for volunteers, “tight-rope walked” on a long line of those spelling blocks the kids had in the playroom, you name it.
After sobering up and finally getting his own clothes on, he had to face the music. The mothers thanked him with tears in their eyes and careful hugs so not to hurt his wounds (although their tenderness probably did more damage to his pride than their hugs could have). Fury was there, looking smug and Clint would bet his year’s income that the man had pulled the security footage already.
The look on Stark’s face (and everyone who was hunched around him to watch what was on his phone) clearly told him that they were all watching what he had done that very moment. Unsure whether he’d want to know or not, he hesitated.
“Barton.” Coulson’s voice came as a soothing balm that poured along Clint’s spine and melted the tension away. At least he knew the man wouldn’t tease him in front of anyone else. “Let’s go.” Clint turned to face the no-nonsense stance of Agent Coulson and gingerly followed him out.
It was only when they had settled into the car (with Clint grumpily letting his handler assist him) that Coulson melted into Phil and smiled over at his partner of several years. “The bed sheet cape was a nice touch this time.”
Clint groaned and sunk down in his seat, covering his face in his hands. Phil just reached over to gently squeeze his knee and drove them home.