Chapter Text
Room For Trouble
CHAPTER 1
ALLIE
Senior year.
Somehow, after three years of classes, exams, rehearsals, auditions, heartbreaks, parties, and entirely too many cups of coffee, I've made it to senior year.
It doesn't feel real.
For as long as I can remember, graduation has always been this distant thing hanging somewhere in the future. The separation between college life and entering the real world.
And now, it's less than a year away. Which is a mix of completely terrifying and also exciting.
Mostly terrifying though.
I stare out the bus window as Boston slowly comes into view, the familiar skyline appearing between stretches of highway and buildings. A smile worms its way onto my face at the knowledge that I'll be back on campus in 10 minutes.
Despite the fact most students are dreading next week, I'm so excited for classes to start up. I'm a drama major, and I adore my classes. It helps that the subject is learning how to act, and includes theatre productions and monologues.
I've wanted to be an actress since I was twelve years old, and not in the casual way kids decide to like a future career but then change their minds every week.
Being an actress has been my dream for nearly 10 years now, and I want it so badly. It survived years of teachers and relatives warning me that it's a hard career or that it's unrealistic. It survived the statistics of college graduates who are actually successful in the industry.
It followed me all through my middle school productions, through my high school theatre, the vision boards I created of ending up on Broadway, up to now, at Briar University's drama program.
I have spent so long working towards this dream, and now I'm entering my final year of college before I have to step out into the real world and prove I can actually make it.
No pressure. Not like my entire career is on the line, the job that impacts the rest of my life.
The familiar pang of anxiety creeps into my chest just thinking about it, and I let my forehead fall against the window, the cool glass connecting with my skin.
Okay, so senior year isn't as exciting anymore, it seems to be just one long panic attack waiting to happen.
But at least I'm not dealing with any other drama on top of it. I can focus on my classes with no distractions. Coursework, exams, friendships, and Malone's. Those are the priority this year. I can't afford to get distracted so close to the end, especially when I don't know what's waiting for me after graduation.
For the first time since my freshman year, I'm starting the semester single. Me and my ex boyfriend Sean broke up at the end of junior year.
The thought makes me wince. The breakup wasn't mutual, and it was incredibly painful. We were together for 2 and a half years, since freshman year, although there were countless breakups along the way.
Once upon a time, I thought we were going to be forever, but that thought died during junior year.
Sean McCall is from Vermont, and during the first semester, his dad had told him that he has a job waiting for him at his insurance company for after graduation. Sean was ecstatic, the knowledge that he has a steady and stable job after we graduate taking all the stress away from him. I was so happy for him, I genuinely was. I listened to all his plans about what Vermont was going to be like, what his future looked like, and I supported him constantly.
Until he started including me in the plans. Of course, at first I was flattered that he wanted me in his future, wanted to spend his life with me. But his picture perfect future lacked one big thing: what I wanted.
His plan was for me to be his happy housewife, who took care of the kids and had dinner waiting for him when he got home. I tried reminding him about acting, about my plans to move to Manhattan or LA after graduation, but he brushed me off every time. My acting career was no where to be seen in his mind, and it irritated me beyond relief.
We started fighting. A lot.
And it all came crashing down when I told him that I got an agent, that he was wildly successful and had recruited me with plans for auditions after graduation. Instead of being happy or supportive like he used to be, he got mad. Really mad.
He yelled at me, telling me my dreams are unrealistic, that it's a nice fantasy but it's an almost impossible reality.
"I honestly thought you'd grow out of this by now Al."
I was baffled. Grow out of my dream?
"I like that you have a dream, it's amazing really. And you're good at acting, but that's what it is, a dream. You're not actually going to be successful with it, and you're going to end up living from paycheck to paycheck, in a tiny apartment and be completely miserable."
I had never felt so angry and disrespected in my entire life. Sure, it's all things I've heard before, but that was from people who barely knew me, or were just trying to warn me. Sean knew me better than nearly everyone. I told him basically everything. He came to multiple theatre productions and acted like he was supporting me, just to turn around and tell me to give up before even starting.
I still remember his response after I yelled at him, and it makes my skin prickle in irritation.
"I'm just looking out for you babe. I'm being realistic here, I don't want you living in a daydream."
I broke up with him on the spot. He didn't take it well, he called me selfish and childish and then told me I'd come running back when I realised he was right.
As hard as it was, I did not go back, and I have no intention of ever doing so. I still miss him sometimes, but not enough to change my mind, and never enough to give up everything I have ever wanted.
But it still stings when I see happy couples, all in love and living in a fairy tale world, while I'm forced to remember I don't have anyone waiting for me when I get back to campus.
Not that I need a boyfriend.
Despite my friends teasing, that I'm a nester and co-dependent, I don't need a boyfriend to function. I'm perfectly capable of living my life alone.
I just also enjoy life when there's someone to fall asleep next to, someone to kiss and to love, and have amazing sex with. And if I'm being honest, that is one thing I won't miss about Sean.
The sex was extremely mediocre. I mean the man thought missionary was 'exciting and adventurous' so that was all we ever did. When I brought up trying new things, he shoved a pillow under my butt to slightly change the angle and then called it a day. I even bought a calendar that had different sex positions to try out every day, but he wouldn't even look through it, flat out refusing.
That was the thing about Sean, he liked things his way.
Still, the idea of finding someone isn't completely terrible, but it's not on my list of priorities. That can be for future Allie to worry about. And in the mean time, me and Winston will just have to work together.
Sure, I could find someone for a one night stand. Basically all the athletes at Briar hook up like it's a sport, and I've had many of them try to flirt with me, so it wouldn't be hard. They're all really attractive too, especially the hockey players, but I don't do casual sex. I'm a card carrying member for team boyfriend. I want the sex with the intimacy, with cuddling and talking afterwards.
I let out a sigh at the reminder of my lack of a sex life, turning to stare out the window for the remainder of the ride.
~~~~~~
The bus finally pulls up at the bus stop just outside of Briar's campus, and my stomach fills with excitement immediately. I scramble up, gathering all my belongings before quickly making my way out, eyes scanning the small group of students there.
I feel at peace somewhat, a comforting feeling falling over me as I breathe in. No matter how stressful life gets, coming back to Briar always feels like coming home.
The driver steps out to help get everyone's luggage from the bottom of the bus, but I'm distracted when my eyes fall on the person I was looking for.
Hannah Wells, my best friend and most favourite person in the whole universe.
I met Hannah in freshman year. We got randomly assigned as roommates in our dorm, and despite our opposite personalities, we became best friends immediately. 4 years later and nothing has changed, except my love for her has grown and we have thousands of memories together.
She's sitting on a bench by the bus stop, backpack slung over one shoulder with two suitcases sat by her. The second our eyes meet, she jumps up to her feet, grin taking over her face. I let out a squeal and take off running, launching myself into her arms.
A second later, we're crashing into each other in a hug, and I realise just how much I missed her over the summer. Sure we texted basically everyday, and face timed at least once a week, but nothing compares to having her here in person.
"Oh my god, I missed you so much babe!" She laughs into my hair, squeezing me tighter for a second before slowly releasing me and I do the same.
"I missed you too Alls" Her smile is so warm and soft it makes my heart leap in happiness.
"Give me a second, I need to go get my stuff." She nods, laughing as I run back to the bus where my two suitcases and 2 duffel bags are laid on the sidewalk, other students stepping around while they grab their own. I haul the duffel bags on top of the suitcases and grab the handles, pulling them towards Hannah.
She immediately laughs when seeing how much luggage I've brought, and I give her a knowing grin. We start the 10 minute walk to our dorm building, Bristol House, and do a quick run through of how our summers went. I tell her about Sean, and about the acting classes I took, and she tells me about the new songs she has written.
I ask her about Garrett, and I can't help the soft smile that takes over my face while watching the way her face lights up at the mention of her boyfriend.
They have been together almost a year now, and I have never seen Hannah happier. Garrett Graham is the captain of Briar University's hockey team and is practically a god on campus, but he ended up falling head over heels in love with Hannah, and treats her like the queen she is.
"We're doing so good. We spoke every single day and it was absolute torture not being able to see him. I'm so excited to see him though!"
"That's so great Han. I'm so happy for you!" She grins at me and tells me more about her summer, how Garrett spoke to her family over the phone and what her and her parents were up to.
The smile that's plastered on both our faces drops though as soon as Bristol House comes into view.
~~~~~~
A frown falls across my lips and I can feel my eyebrows furrowing as we take in the house. There's a large group of students with their luggage standing in a crowd outside, and two men from campus security are blocking the entrance. The door has yellow caution tape in front of it, and the sight causes my steps to slow.
"What's going on?" Hannah whispers beside me, taking in the crowd. Everyone looks upset, and some people are speaking to the security guards while others are on their phones, calling whoever.
My stomach drops as we start edging closer to the crowd, and my jaw practically drops when the side of the building comes into view. Black scorch marks streak up one entire side of the brick exterior, climbing several floors toward the roof. A handful of windows on the third and fourth floors are completely shattered, jagged glass still clinging to the frames. Others have been covered with sheets of plywood.
One section of the roof is wrapped in bright blue tarps and water stains run down parts of the building, leaving dark trails across the brickwork.
"Oh my god! What the fuck is going on?" Someone stood close by turns to look at us, face twisted in frustration.
"The building caught fire last week. They're not letting anyone in, and they're telling us we can't live here and have to find somewhere else." I can feel my jaw physically drop, my heart pounding in my ears as panic bursts through my body. I stare at her, waiting for the girl to smile or laugh and tell us she's just kidding, but one glance to the building tells me it's very clearly not a joke.
We can't live here? Where are we supposed to go? What about all the stuff we had in our dorms?
Conversations are more clear now, with students calling their parents or the main office of the university.
This cannot be happening right now. Senior year officially starts in less than a week, and we are currently homeless. Even if there are spare dorms in other buildings, there aren't going to be enough for everyone here.
Surely they aren't going to leave us all homeless though, right?
And what's going to happen to our belongings still inside the dorm? Everything that me and Hannah left behind last year.
My theatre programs, old scripts from high school, the printed photos of me and my friends on my closet door. There's years of small memories in that dorm. Years.
Is it all gone? Did the fire reach our dorm? Will we even be able to get it back?
My stomach twists so hard that I instantly feel nauseous. I need to sit down, my legs feel weak and I'm going to be sick.
I take a deep breath, one at a time, in for 8 seconds, hold, and then out for 8 seconds. Now is not the time to panic. The important thing is we are okay. The fire happened when no one was here yet. We're all safe and unharmed.
A sharp, pained sound pulls me from my thoughts, and my head snaps to the side. Instantly, my heart breaks and my throat feels too thick, eyes burning. Hannah is sobbing, tears streaming down her face, choked sounds leaving her throat. She looks like she's having a panic attack, and I don't hesitate before throwing my arms around her, holding her close to me. Her face is crumpled, and her voice cracks as she tries to speak. "Oh my god."
I don't know how to console her right now. I know the panic she's feeling, but I can't tell her it will be okay, because I have no idea what we're going to do. And I'm on the verge of tears myself, and I cannot do that right now, I need to be strong for Hannah.
"Come on, let's go sit over here." I pull back slightly and gesture to a bench a few feet away. Hannah nods, grabbing onto her suitcases before moving towards it and I do the same, my legs feeling wobbly and unsteady. We sit down and I pull her towards me again, rubbing soothing circles on her back and reminding her to take deep breaths.
I hate seeing her so upset, and I hate that I can't do anything to fix it. But there isn't anything I can do.
Briar University is in Boston, which is quite an expensive place to rent an apartment. There's the small town close by called Hastings, but it's so small that most students take over the limited housing. We can't afford a hotel either, especially not for however long we can't go in the building. Me and Hannah work part time at the sports bar Malone's, which is very popular for the locals and the hockey crowd from the university. But we work there to afford basic essentials, like food for the dorm or textbooks. We definitely can't afford a hotel for more than a week, and we certainly can't afford to get an apartment even if we can find one.
In summary, unless we find a new dorm, we're royally screwed.
"What are we going to do Allie? We don't have anywhere to go." I inhale sharply, biting on my lip to suppress my own tears and panic, willing my voice to come out normally.
"I don't know." It comes out as a whisper, and Hannah sits up abruptly, fumbling for her jacket pocket.
"I need to call Garrett." I nod and watch as she unlocks her phone and finds his contact, calling him. It rings twice before Garrett picks up.
"Hi baby. Are you in your dorm now?" The happiness and softness in his voice causes Hannah's face to crumple again, and when she opens her mouth to reply, a sob flies out instead of words. Garrett can tell immediately something is wrong, and his voice comes through the speaker again, this time concern flooding his tone. "Wellsy? What's going on? Why are you crying?"
"We don't have a dorm." Hannah manages to choke out, and the words nearly push my tears over the edge, reality settling in.
We are currently homeless. It's already midday, and we have no place to sleep or to shower tonight.
We were supposed to be unpacking by now, going over our plans and hopes for this year, settling back into the place we called home for the past 3 years. But now we're sat outside, with nowhere to go and no alternative options available.
I tune back into the call conversation to hear Garrett cursing under his breath, so I assume Hannah told him about the fire. He asks where she is and when she tells him, he hangs up with the promise of being here soon, the sound of a door opening and closing rustling through the speakers.
Hannah lets out a sigh and stares ahead, tears drying on her cheeks that are flushed red, and I do the same.
My body is trembling and my fingers fidget with the ring I have on my right hand, twisting it around repeatedly. Despite my impending breakdown, I can't distract myself from the overwhelming panic that is coursing through my body. We have nowhere to live, we can't afford anywhere else, and we're going to end up on the streets.
Well that's dramatic, we won't be sleeping on the streets. Hannah has Garrett, who would happily let her share his room, or pay for her to have a new dorm with his huge trust fund. But I don't have a rich boyfriend, or any boyfriend at all, to crash with. My only options are hopping between the couches of my friends dorms, which isn't exactly convenient as it leaves me with nowhere for all my stuff, or moving back home.
But my dad lives in Brooklyn, and although that's not as far as Hannah's family, it's still a 4 hour commute each way, and it would be a struggle getting to class everyday. Especially since I don't have a car. And I definitely can't afford 2 4 hour long bus rides every single day.
So basically, I am completely screwed unless we can find another dorm.
~~~~~~
The fifteen minutes it takes Garrett to get here feel like hours, and I have done nothing but overthink and panic.
Hannah and I sit side by side on the bench, neither of us saying much. Every now and then one of us tries to start a conversation, but it always dies after a few sentences. What is there to talk about? Nothing else matters right now, because we're homeless.
The word keeps repeating itself in my head, almost like a taunt. It sounds dramatic, because homeless people sleep on the streets and don't have any access to food or water, and certainly don't attend a huge, respectable university like Briar.
But it's what we are, because we don't have anywhere to sleep at night, or to unpack our belongings, or to call a home.
We're just two college seniors who showed up expecting to unpack their things and spend the next few days settling in before classes start. Instead we're sat on a bench outside of our inhabitable dorm building with nowhere else to stay, and all our belongings sitting by our feet.
I let my gaze drift to Bristol House again, wincing as I take it in. It looks wrong, not just damaged, but completely wrong. The black scorch marks climbing the brick walls seem almost unreal, like someone painted them there. They clash majorly with the aesthetic of the campus, which sounds ridiculous, but Briar University has such a beautiful campus, and now our dorm building looks completely out of place. Every time I look at the boarded-up windows, my stomach twists harder.
We lived in that dorm room for three years. Three years, six semesters, two girls who made themselves a home and found a lifelong friendship in each other. Three years of memories in that dorm, and they're all just gone.
Well, maybe not gone. I don't know if our dorm actually got touched by the fire and that is somehow significantly worse than if I did know.
I don't know if our dorm survived, if it's sat looking the exact same as we left it or if the walls are black and our belongings are ashes. I don't know if anything I left behind has been salvaged, or if everything is just gone. I don't know if I'll ever stand in there again, and if it will look the same if I ever do. I don't know where I'm sleeping tonight, or tomorrow, or for the rest of the semester.
I don't know anything, and the uncertainty is eating me alive.
security. Others are crying. Parents are making phone calls. A few people are already loading their things back into their cars. Everybody looks so lost, so unsure, and I understand exactly how they feel.
It makes me ache for my dad, who is sitting at home, not a worry in his body because I haven't called him to tell him the news yet. He's sick, he has MS and he's just getting worse and worse as the years pass by. He's still grieving the loss of my mom, who passed from lung cancer when I was thirteen. I don't want to add to the troubles and worries he already has daily, not until I have a plan on what to do.
Beside me, Hannah is also staring at the building, eyes red and slightly puffy, and the sight makes my chest ache. I hate seeing her like this, so distraught and lost. Hannah has always been the calm one of the two of us, the practical one, the one who always knows what to do and has a plan.
But she doesn't have a plan right now. She's scared, terrified even, and she's clutching her phone tightly in her lap, almost as if its a lifeline. But I know who the actual lifeline is, and I know without a doubt that Garrett is coming because he promised her he was.
It's been fifteen minutes, not that I'm counting, and him showing up for Hannah is starting to feel like the only solid thing in this entire mess, because I know without a doubt he will take care of Hannah. He won't let anything bad happen to her, and he will do anything to fix this for her.
So when I see him walking down the pathway, eyes scanning the crowd, I feel a rush of relief and immediately point him out to Hannah. "He's here Han." Her head snaps up, and when she turns to him, he's already spotted her and is making his way over in long strides.
Hannah is already standing, a shaky breath escaping her lips before she starts running towards him. The moment that she reaches him, his arms wrap around her and she falls apart all over again, fresh sobs shaking her shoulders as she buries her face into his chest. Garrett pulls her in closer, holds her tighter, and slides his hands into her hair as he whispers into her hair. "It's okay baby, I'm here. I've got you."
I look away, back towards the building as something sharp twists in my chest.
It's not jealousy, not really. I'm happy for Hannah, beyond happy that she has someone who is everything to her, someone that she is everything to. And I don't want to swap places, I don't want to be wrapped in Garrett's arms, I don't want Garrett Graham at all.
But I feel like I'm sitting in a movie theatre, and the movie playing is something that I don't have, something that I used to have.
I have never had a love like theirs, but I did have love. I had Sean, and he used to hug me, comfort me, make everything seem somehow manageable.
I don't want him back, I really don't. The sight isn't even making me miss him. But sitting here, exhausted and overwhelmed, scared out of my mind, I'm hit with the fact that I don't have anyone.
Nobody is coming to wrap me up in their arms. Nobody is going to tell me they've got me while I fall apart. Nobody is going to promise me everything will be okay, or do anything they can to fix it.
All I have is me, and that realisation hits me harder than I expected it to.
I have always been a relationship girl. I have always sought out love, just hoping to find my great love, to have a relationship like my parents had. But I have been hugely unsuccessful. And as happy and grateful as I am that Hannah has found that love, it just makes me realise how empty I feel.
I can feel the familiar burn in my eyes and I immediately blink rapidly, grip the bench until my knuckles turn white and try to breathe. No, I'm not going to cry over this, not in front of a huge crowd of people. I have bigger things to worry about, and if I can hold off a breakdown about being homeless, not having a boyfriend is not going to be the thing that sends me over the edge. Absolutely not.
I look over again when I notice movement, seeing Garrett and Hannah walking back over to me. They're holding hands, and Hannah is sniffling slightly, but there are no more tears.
Garrett's expression when he sees me. "Are you okay Allie?"
I almost laugh at the question. No, I'm not okay. Not even remotely. But Hannah's boyfriend isn't my therapist, and he doesn't need me to dump everything on him, so I force a shrug. "I've been better."
His lips twist into a frown and he nods. For a second, he just stands there in silence because none of us know what to say. After a moment, he nudges Hannah towards the bench again. "I'm going to go talk to security, try to get some more information. I'll be back in a second."
Hannah whispers out an 'okay' and I just nod, slumping back against the bench as my fingers resume their fidgeting with my ring. Hannah sits back down beside me, and for several moments, we stare at Garrett's retreating figure in silence.
Then, she turns to me. "What are we going to do Allie?"
I wish I knew, I really really wish I knew. I wish there was some obvious answer or plan that we could make, but I've exhausted all the options in my head. "We'll figure something out." The words sound weak, not convincing at all, and Hannah notices.
"Like what? We can't afford a hotel, with everyone who arrived first, there definitely won't be any spare space in the dorms, we can't afford an apartment." Hannah lets out a humorless laugh at our situation, shaking her head in disbelief that this is even happening.
"Well there has to be something. The university won't just leave us with nowhere to go." I point out but even I don't believe it. They can't do anything, clearly not expecting to have a whole dorm building catch fire. The repairs are already going to cost money, they won't be able to afford to set all the students up with housing.
"There are hundreds of students that lived in Bristol House Allie, the university can't afford to put us all in a hotel, or find us available housing. And even if they could find housing, or other available dorms, we will be at the bottom of that list because everyone in that crowd will have already called in. It's going to be a first come, first serve situation." I nod in agreement, my stomach sinking more and more.
I had the slightest, tiniest sliver of hope that we would be able to think of something, but we are completely screwed and we both know it. Every available dorm on campus is being assigned or fought over, any available housing nearby is being snatched up by students with rich or panicked parents.
Silence settles over us again, and the panic is getting worse. There's a heavy pressure sitting in my chest and with every dead end I run through in my head, it just grows and gets heavier.
There's no dorm, no apartment, no hotel. I can't move back home, I can't commute from New York to Boston every day.
I feel nauseous again at the realisation there really isn't a solution. We actually have nowhere to go, no available options. We're going to have to settle in a hotel for now, until we can figure something out, get more answers from the university, or until our money runs out.
An hour ago, my biggest problem was senior year and the impending loom of graduation, of finishing college and entering the real world.
And now I don't even have a place to sleep at night.
The thought almost makes me laugh, but Garrett returns before I can spiral any further. His face is like an open book right now, one look and I know that he doesn't have any good news.
Hannah leans forward, voice shaky but determined. "What did they say?"
Garrett shakes his head slightly, exhaling slowly. "The fire started on the fifth floor, it spread rapidly even with the sprinklers going off. There's smoke and water damage everywhere, which means that the electricity is a problem." My stomach drops, and his face turns both sympathetic and regretful. "The building is shut down for the whole semester for repairs. Possibly longer."
Hannah's face goes white, and I feel the overwhelming urge to vomit. The words smack into me, repeating in my head over and over again.
The entire semester. Half of senior year. Classes start next week and we have nowhere to live for an entire semester.
"We don't have anywhere to go." Hannah whispers this, directing it at Garrett who immediately knees in front of her, reaching for her hand.
"I know, but we'll figure something out." His voice is gentle, trying to be reassuring. But we have gone over all our options, and there's nothing. Hannah shakes her head at him.
"No, Garrett, we won't. We already talked about it." Her voice cracks as she looks over at me before back at him again. "We can't afford a hotel, the dorms are going to be full, there's no available housing, or if there is we can't afford it. The university aren't going to be able to do anything when there's hundreds of students currently homeless and they have repair costs. There's nothing. We have nowhere to go, not even a car to sleep in." The panic in her voice rises, even though Garrett squeezes her hand.
Silence falls over us again, and Garrett looks back and forth between us, a crease forming between his eyebrow as he thinks something over. Then he voices his thoughts, and it makes us both freeze, taking several seconds to process.
"You can stay with us, at the house."
Silence again. My mouth parts but I can't find any words. Hannah's eyes are wide, gaping down at him. "What?"
Garrett shrugs, seemingly more determined with this idea. "You can both come live at the house."
The house being the shared townhouse he lives in, the one in Hastings. The one that is known as 'The hockey house' because he shares it with three other hockey players. John Logan, John Tucker, and Dean Di Laurentis.
The house is famous for its parties, and I have been there many times with Hannah. It's big, really spacious, and decorated in exactly the way you'd expect four college guys to decorate a house. It's familiar in a way, comfortable even.
But to move in? To live there with four hockey players? Three of whom I barely know, not on a personal level anyway. That thought is slightly terrifying. Not because they make me uncomfortable or I'm worried about them doing something, because I'm not. I know them well enough to know they are the most decent guys I have ever met. I just don't know how I would even fit into the house.
"Garrett.." Hannah's voice comes out so soft and quiet I barely hear it, her face twisted into a mix of gratitude and guilt. "For a few days?"
"No." He shakes his head, fingers rubbing soothing circles over the back of Hannah's hands. "For as long as you need. Until the building is back open to students again if that's what you need. There's no time limit baby." Hannah releases a soft gasp and my lips part in shock.
A few days would already be such a huge favor, nevermind the whole semester until the building reopens. This guy is absolutely insane, especially when he's not even talked to the guys about this. They're not like Garrett, they don't have the same motives. Sure, they all adore Hannah, that has been made obvious from whenever I tag along on hangouts, but they're not in love with her, so they might have a different reaction to opening up their home to her. To me.
Because of course I get an invitation by extension, Hannah would never leave me to work things out myself and Garrett knows this.
Maybe they won't have a problem with Hannah moving in, they know her, they love her, she's basically already been adopted by them. But they don't really know me, definitely not enough to welcome me into their home for months on end.
"What about the guys?" My stomach twists as I voice the question, dread spreading slowly through me.
Garrett turns to look at me, a frown on his face as if he's confused as to why they would be brought up in this conversation. "What about them?"
I take a quick glance at Hannah before looking back at Garrett, resisting the urge to chew on my bottom lip. "Well they live there too, it's their house as well." I pause and Garrett just nods, still looking as confused as ever. "How would they feel about this? We'd be taking up space."
His gaze flicks between me and Hannah, frown deepening like he can't understand why this might be an issue. Hannah agrees with my point though, because she nods at me and turns to face him.
"We'd be living there Garrett. Not visiting, living there. For months. Not just sleeping, living there. Eating, studying, showering. We'd have to bring all our stuff."
"I know that baby, I'm not seeing the issue." I hold back a sigh of frustration because I know Garrett doesn't deserve it, he's not the cause and he's being so fucking generous with what he's offering.
But he's making it sound so simple when it's not simple at all. Not to me.
Sure, all the guys are nice and we get along. Logan always asks me questions about my classes and life to get to know me better. Tucker feeds me whenever he can and he makes sure I'm included in conversations. Dean is, well Dean. But even he can hold a conversation with me, although rarely without flirting. I get along with all of them, somewhat. But getting along with them and living with them are completely different.
Living together means seeing each other everyday, sharing the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. Eating their food, using their water, taking up room in a house that isn't meant for us.
And no matter how kind Garrett is being right now, I can't stop thinking about showing up with four bags and essentially invading somebody else's home. The thought makes me feel guilty already.
Garrett must realise the issue because his expression softens while glancing between us. "Guys, seriously the guys aren't going to care."
"You don't know that." They are going to care. Two girls taking up their space is something they are definitely going to have opinions about.
"I do know that. I am absolutely certain of that."
Hannah shakes her head in disbelief. "Garrett-"
"No, listen to me when I say that they aren't going to care. You're not two strangers moving in for the fun of it. They know you both, they love you both, and they will happily welcome you, especially when you have nowhere else to go." Hannah closes her mouth, her resistance faltering as she considers his words. I'm still stuck on them.
They love you both.
That statement is legitimately false. They love Hannah. They have inside jokes over lasagna and they call her Wellsy and they all adore her. So much so that they came to her pop showcase last year to cheer her on.
But they don't love me. They barely know me.
We don't have inside jokes, or nicknames. They came to drunk Shakespeare, but it was because of Garrett wanting to confess his feelings to Hannah and they came to support him. I am certain they didn't even know I was part of the show, and I cannot picture them coming to one of my actual shows.
I don't fit into their circle.
I'm not close with any of them. I'm not one of their girlfriends. I'm just Hannah's best friend. Garrett's girlfriends friend. Wellsy's best friend.
I'm nobody.
How could they possibly be okay with me moving in? How could they open up their home to me for months on end?
"The point is that they're not gonna see this as you imposing. They're gonna see two friends who need help." I didn't even realise Garrett had continued talking until I tuned back in.
There it is. The main issue. We need help. We need a place to live, and without the townhouse, we have nothing. So despite my thoughts, we physically have no other choice, no other option.
I look back over at Hannah and she seems considerably lighter than she did before, clearly a lot more hopeful about the situation. And I already know the decision has been made either way. She looks over at me, silently asking me my answer, but it's not much of a choice. Hockey house or homeless. And she clearly wants to go to the hockey house, wants to be able to spend time with her boyfriend and have a place to sleep at night.
So I give her a slight nod, even as my chest tightens with guilt and anxiety.
Hannah's looking at Garrett again, a soft smile spreading over her face. "Okay."
"Okay?" He's grinning, relief swimming across his features.
"Okay, we'll come live with you guys." Garrett glances over at me, a silent check in to make sure I'm okay with this decision, and I give him a small nod, words physically not able to come out.
Garrett stands, dusting off his knees before he offers Hannah a hand and pulls her up of the bench, planting a kiss on her forehead when she's stood too. "Come on then, let's go get you both settled in."
I stand wordlessly, hands automatically reaching for my suitcases as Hannah does the same. Garrett intervenes before she can, quickly grabbing hers and walking ahead so she can't get them back. She giggles at him and simply takes one of mine off of me, walking beside me as we make our way to Garrett's jeep.
We don't talk, letting the silence and the realisation of what we're doing settle into us. My chest feels both loose and tight at once, we're both still overwhelmed, and there's still leftover panic and dread from the thought of being homeless. There's guilt threaded in too, for the fact we're going to walk into the guy's house and tilt their lives a little. But we have somewhere to sleep tonight, we have somewhere safe and dry to stay for the time being.
And for some reason, I have a feeling that this situation is going to be life changing in a way.