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"Lister? What exactly was the point of keeping these smegging things?" Rimmer frowned, wielding a dusty feather-adorned, neon pink cowboy hat. "Completely pointless."
"Already said, man. For fun! And y'know, nostalgia purposes." Lister shouted back from the next aisle of shelves. Surprisingly the Starbug archives were a lot deeper than first thought, and contained - in the hologram's opinion - an absolute load of crap. Mainly Lister's crap.
"There's nothing fun about dusty costume hats, miladdo, no matter how striking they may once have been."
"Have ya found the cowboy hat yet?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Brutal."
"-Yours was it?"
"Once upon a time, yeah, but I saved it for you." Lister said with a giggle, sticking his head round the corner to smirk at Rimmer looking disturbed by the entire concept of fun.
"...Why? Aside from anything else Listy, these things are taking up valuable storage space. Storage space that could be better used for actual food."
"Oh come on guy, stop bein' a misery." He plucked the neon pink hat out of Rimmer's averted grip. "It was gonna be for the stag do, obviously. Back when Krissie was still in the pipelines, or so I thought, an' I was thinking about a night of drinkin' and debauchery with my best man."
Rimmer raised an eyebrow. "And I'm presuming the Cat wasn't available?"
"Don't be daft, man." Lister said, blowing the layer of dust off the top of the hat and placing it onto a (reluctant) hologram's head. "See, it still suits ya now!"
"Would you be too offended if I said I didn't believe you in the slightest?"
Lister just grinned, not bothering to give that one an answer.
"I'm sorry you never got your 'dream wedding' or night of drinking and debauchery," Rimmer smirked, "not that you haven't had a fair number of those nights anyway, before and since."
"Oh smeg off. And who says I won't still get one? We've got all the time in the universe, Rimsy." He said, pecking him briefly on the cheek.
"...You're a soppy bastard."