Chapter Text
The day was off to a terrible start. His bus had been delayed by a whopping 10 minutes; doing no wonders for his already tight schedule. And to top it off, he now had to deal with this.
Kunikida rubbed his temples in exasperation. He could practically feel the vein popping out of his forehead, a clear sign that promised headaches and panadol tablets.
“Dazai,” he seethed, “you're two hours late!”
“Sorry Kunikida-kun, my cow was giving birth.”
Dazai’s expression would have looked apologetic, if it had been on anyone else's face.
Despite being partners for little over 4 years, Kunikida knew next to nothing about Dazai. But there was one thing he knew for certain; Dazai and farm work absolutely did not mix.
The man looked like he could barely take care of himself, let alone a living, breathing animal. The number of times Kunikida had fished him out of a river was insane. He couldn’t even be bothered to write it down in his notebook these days.
A more frightening thought was Dazai doing work willingly. Kunikida repressed a shudder; that would surely mark the end of the world. The man found every excuse he could to get out of it. He was convinced Dazai’s last job had been professional freeloading.
Just as he was about to give Dazai a verbal lashing, there was a loud bang followed by a pair of muffled voices.
“Are you sure this is the right place?”
“Do you see any other detective agencies?”
Kunikida could practically hear the eye roll.
“I was just asking, you don’t have to be such an asshole!”
“I’m the asshole? You’re the one that -”
“I’ll go greet the clients,” Dazai insisted, like he was doing Kunikida a favour.
“You're just trying to shirk work again, aren’t you?” Kunikida grabbed Dazai by the coat before dumping him at his desk.
Taking a deep breath and switching to client mode, Kunikida opened the door and was met with a pair of young men of similar height.
“Greetings, welcome to the Detective Agency, please take a seat,” he welcomed, gesturing towards the chairs in the waiting room.
“We’re looking for Xie Lian,” the one with the ponytail stated rather bluntly.
“Feng Xin, Mu Qing, it's so nice to see you,” Dazai beamed.
Wait. When the hell had Dazai gotten here?
“Your Highness,” they both nodded in sync.
“Let’s talk more somewhere else,” Dazai suggested before turning back to Kunikida, “Apologies, but I’ll be taking my leave.”
Kunikida opened his mouth to object, but the opportunity had vanished along with Dazai. The door in Kunikida’s face was just adding salt to the wound.
Kunikida was more surprised than he’d liked to admit at the prospect of Dazai having friends outside of the agency. However, there was one thing that certainly stuck out to him; he hadn't taken Dazai as the role-playing type.
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Kunikida crumpled into his seat. His search would have been a lot quicker if that woman had told him he was looking for a dog, not a human. He breathed in deeply. He needed to remember that he was on a break. He was going to eat lunch and then go back to the agency to finish off some paperwork. Kunikida had been confident that no one would bother him in a cafe on the opposite side of town.
Had been.
Yet the arrival of his coffee also brought on the arrival of Dazai and his friends from the other day.
And to make matters worse, they were seated in the booth directly next to him, further adding to his suspicion that Dazai hadn’t noticed him yet. And no way was he making his presence known. Kunikida was on break, thank you very much. It wasn’t his fault they were talking so loud he could hear every bit of their conversation.
“Will you guys really be able to make it in a few weeks?” he heard Dazai ask worriedly, “I can postpone it if you can’t.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” sighed the one Kunikida vaguely remembered as Mu Qing, “Don’t you and Crimson Rain do this every century? Why is this one so special?”
“Don’t talk to him like that!” And that must be Feng Xin, Kunikida guessed.
“Talk to him like what? You asked me the exact same question before!”
“It’s our tenth millennium, I want it to be special,” Dazai replied wistfully, interrupting the brawl on the verge of breaking out. “How are you two enjoying the mortal realm anyway?” Dazai continued, “I didn’t realise you both visited so often.”
“We don’t,” Feng Xin replied. “We were given a mission a couple of days ago. Something about a group of ghosts running rampant in Yokohama.”
Either these people were alarmingly dedicated to their characters or something seriously shady was going on. Was this crazy talk just code words for a rival organization?
“I’m available if you guys need any help with the mission! I’ve seen Black Water around too if you need an extra hand.”
Dazai offering himself for work?
Even more suspicious.
And these names were not subtle aliases. What the hell was this organization and its obsession with the weather?
“That guy’s still around?” Feng Xin sounded genuinely surprised.
“We saw him recently,” Mu Qing said dryly, “Surely your memory isn't that bad.”
“I know! I just thought he was too busy chasing down Wind Master to give a shit about anything else.”
And they were actively hunting someone down!? This was more serious than he thought.
The conversation, and Kunikida’s thoughts, were broken as a waiter approached Dazai’s table.
Followed shortly by the loud sound of someone spitting out their drink.
“I thought I ordered tea, what the hell is this?” Feng Xin asked incredulously, “Why’s it so sweet?”
“Oh come on it can’t be that bad,” Mu Qing scoffed, only to spit out his tea in a similar manner.
“Mortals these days have a tendency to put sugar in everything, I fear,” Dazai explained. “You're more than welcome to come to Paradise Manor for tea and dinner.”
Kunikida heard a scuffle as both Feng Xin and Mu Qing made a rush to stand.
“Sorry, Your Highness, my deputy just called, said there was a leak in the palace. I’ll probably be busy all night.”
“I’ve gotta get back to the mission too. It was nice seeing you, Your Highness!”
And in a hurry, they both bolted out of the restaurant door, with Dazai trailing slowly behind them. Kunikida breathed a small sigh of relief as he heard the tell-tale click of the door closing.
Just what sort of mess had he gotten himself into?