Archive of Our Own

Ryo quickly comprehends that something is very wrong.

For starters, it's already ten in the morning, and he hasn't done anything productive yet. To be fair to him, it's difficult to be productive when he's burning up with a 38⁰C fever, but that certainly didn't stop him from meticulously cleaning his and Sakuya's apartment all day long yesterday. When he didn't know what to do, his only resort was to clean in hopes that it'll get his mind off whatever dilemma he was going through. Though, he supposes that posting on Reddit was his actual last resort.

The apartment was perfectly pristine now, but it didn't matter if Sakuya wasn't there with him.

Ryo suddenly jumps awake at the thought, remembering the exact predicament he was in right now. He doubts that Sakuya is returning home anytime soon, and even if he did come home, he certainly couldn't have learned how to cook in the span of two days. So who in the world was frying bacon outside?

He frantically gets up from bed, reaching for his phone. Immediately, he feels all the blood rushing to his head, and Ryo involuntarily lets out a groan at the pain. He clutches his nape, silently praying that his fever would soon die down. He would much rather die at the hands of a potential murderer than live another day with his headache.

Then, the door to his room opens, and Ryo concludes that he really would have preferred the murderer route.

"Ryo," Sakuya calls out his name, his voice laced with concern. Sakuya doesn't know how obvious it is that he deliberately lowers his voice whenever they talk to each other, but there's no way Ryo can pretend like it doesn't do things to his heart.

The younger was holding a full plate of breakfast in one hand—eggs and bacon on one side while a bowl of soup was stacked on the other side. His other hand held a glass of water mixed with Ryo's medicine, and he realized that Sakuya must have kicked the door with his foot.

Sakuya places both the plate and the glass on his nightstand, opting to kneel down in front of Ryo. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I know we weren't on good terms last time we talked, but I would have come back the moment I found out you weren't feeling well." He holds onto Ryo's hands.

Ryo lets out a confused noise at the back of his throat, trying to think of how Sakuya could have possibly discovered that. "W-who told you I was sick? I'm not sick." He coughs, immediately giving away his lie.

"Ryo, please, I know I called you avoidant the other day, and it was wrong of me to say that when the only thing you did was walk away, but please," Sakuya pleads, forcing Ryo to look him in the eye, "please don't walk away this time, Ryo."

They sit in silence for a while, Ryo's hands still in Sakuya's. The older remembers that this is the exact same way he felt when Sakuya accidentally fell asleep on his shoulder.

"Saku, please stand up," he musters the courage to speak. Ryo's voice is a bit raspy, but he manages to sound firm. "Your knees will hurt."

Sakuya nods and lets go of his hands to sit beside him. Ryo almost wants to complain about the loss.

"Okay so," Sakuya sighs, looking down at the floor, "I saw your Reddit post this morning."

Ryo goes wide-eyed. "I literally have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ryo," Sakuya says firmly, and that's enough to shut him up.

"Before you say anything, Sion hyung has nothing to do with this. I stumbled on your post on my own, and it honestly took me a while to realize that it was about me despite your horrible attempts of concealing our identities," he admits, laughing to himself as he explains. "I immediately regretted saying that you were avoidant once you walked away, because we both know that's not true. You take things head-on, and it's something I've always admired you for."

Sakuya pauses before continuing, trying his best to keep eye contact. "You were right back then... We both weren't in our right headspaces, and I'm glad we stopped before it turned into something worse. I was frustrated that you weren't hearing me out about what I was feeling."

Ryo nods, taking the initiative to hold his hand again. "I'm sorry too for not letting you explain. I guess you already know what I feel from my post, but it felt like I was seeing a side of you that you didn't want me to see."

"You said that it seemed like I was going to say something before you walked away, and you're right." Sakuya gulps, confirming his thoughts. "It's the reason why I'd been acting so clingy even before the fight happened."

"I..." Ryo could physically feel how Sakuya's pulse rushed in his wrist.

"I like you a lot, Ryo," Sakuya finally confesses, looking away. "I've liked you for so long, and it took me a long time to finally accept it, but I'm not afraid to hide it any longer."

Deep down, Ryo always knew that the way his heart beat a few thumps faster whenever he was with Sakuya wasn't normal. It wasn't normal that he was bitter over the thought of him not being Sakuya's first kiss—hell, it wasn’t even normal that his best friend was his first kiss—but he's pushed it down for so many years that he's managed to ignore it and pass it off as something else. Now, he recognizes it as the god-honest truth: he was in love with Fujinaga Sakuya.

He doesn't even realize he's crying until he feels Sakuya wiping his tears with his thumb. "I'm so sorry—oh my god, I shouldn't have done this while you were sick," Sakuya apologizes frantically.

Ryo quickly shakes his head, giggling amidst his sniffles. "Saku, I promise I'm not crying because of that," he reassures him. "I'm just... really happy."

This time, he's the one struggling to look at Sakuya. "I like you, too, Saku, and it's honestly kinda sad that it's taken us this long to admit it. It's also kinda unfair that you confessed while I'm sick and I'm not in the right mind to articulate what I really feel."

Sakuya laughs at this, handing him the forgotten plate on the nightstand. "I immediately rushed back when I read your post. Believe it or not, I actually learned how to cook while I was at Sion hyung's."

The older hums, examining the burnt pieces of bacon. "Saku, I think you should stick to baking next time."

Sakuya doesn't even take a glance away from his face, smiling to himself. "I think I should."

Ryo thinks he could get used to this.