Archive of Our Own

Buck looks down at the plane tickets and the pile of bags sprawled out in front of him that carry his entire life, a life that was apparently over now, and feels an ache start to form in his chest.

This was his home. Where he’s lived for the past three years. The house where he raised his son for one of those years. And this is all that’s come of it. Three bags and two suitcases, one of which held everything Theo owned.

And now they had nothing. No home and no place to call their own. No money to his name but what was in his wallet.

He’d tried to empty out his accounts as fast as he could when he realized what Diego’s parents were planning, but he hadn’t been successful, and by the time he got to the bank, Diego’s parents had already locked him out of their accounts.

So yeah, he was basically broke. No money other than the few thousand he’d saved in a separate account that Diego’s parents knew nothing about. An account he started for his son the second he found out that he and Diego were going to be parents. He swore never to touch it. He never wanted Theo to have to worry about where his next meal was going to come from or where he was going to sleep for the night.

He and Diego had gone the surrogacy route instead of adoption when they’d decided to have kids because it was what Buck had wanted. And Diego was more than willing to let him have his way as long as it kept him from “acting out.”  

Till this day, he’s surprised that Diego and his parents let it happen. He figured that when the time came to start the process, Diego would have backed out, or maybe his parents would have managed to convince him that he was making a mistake by letting Buck get his way. It’s the way their marriage had been from the very start.

Diego’s parents dictated every step and intervened whenever they thought their son wasn’t showing enough dominance. The cons of marrying into a family that came from old money and even older customs. A family that thought anyone from less was worth less.

If he hadn’t loved the man as much as he thought he did, Buck would have ended things with him a long time ago for that reason alone. But he did love him, at least he thinks he did. Sure, Diego could be dismissive of his feelings from time to time and get annoyed by his random outbursts, and every now and then he’d show that annoyance either with viciously thrown words or equally viscous fists. But overall, Buck knew that Diego loved him in his own way, and that it was just difficult for him to express it.

Diego was his first real relationship. Before that all he really did was sleep around with whoever would give him the time of day. They got together after he dropped out of college and left Hershey with the intention of going backpacking around the world. And while he wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, he did feel a connection to Diego almost instantly. He was smart, way smarter than Buck, and funny, though you had to really know him to get his sense of humor. He was protective and had a jealous streak a mile long. Which, yeah, Buck could understand, especially when you took into account his history.

But he took it all in stride, the overprotectiveness and intensity that Diego brought into their relationship. That was obviously how a relationship was supposed to go. He’d seen it a little in Doug and Maddie’s, the possessiveness when Doug felt threatened in any way, even by Buck. Diego was the exact same way, and who was Buck to be upset about that. Besides, it was exactly what he wanted, what he’d craved all his life. To be the center of someone’s world. For someone to choose him. Love him.

And he had that in Diego, or at least he thought he did. That is until his husband up and died on him and left him and their son with nothing to their names.

He had no idea that Diego cared so little about them. About Theo, to leave Buck with no way to support him after being the reason Buck hadn’t worked in years.   

Buck was here on a resident visa, and while that didn’t just cancel out if your spouse died, it did cancel out if the death wasn’t reported within 30 days, along with a copy of the death certificate. The last of which is somewhere in the home he currently has no claim to anymore. And if these past two weeks were telling him anything, he was getting that death certificate over the Del Castillos’ dead bodies.

He grabs his bags and tosses them into the car that comes to pick them up, because, of course, Diego’s parents had been ready to ship him and Theo out of here before Diego’s body was even cold.

Theo is already asleep in his car seat, and Buck makes extra sure not to wake him as he and the driver lug their things into the trunk. And when they’re finished and the driver gets into the car, Buck finds himself standing there, dumbfounded, when he remembers that he has nowhere to go.

And maybe he should be grateful that at least Diego’s parents had the decency to purchase the plane tickets for him and Theo, but all he feels is anger. Anger and embarrassment that after everything he’s been through, he’s going to end up right back where he started. A place where he fought so hard to escape.

Pennsylvania.

“Hey Spiderman, how you doing back there?” Buck asks, reaching into the back seat to give Theo a once-over. He’s been checking on him as many times as he can throughout the drive, because, other than sleeping on occasion and babbling while he’s awake, Theo has been screaming his lungs out day in and day out.

He knows that you shouldn’t keep a baby cooped up in their car seat for hours on end, and he’s been doing everything that he can not to. Taking so many breaks in their trip that they’re probably not going to reach their destination in the next month. But every single time he puts him back in his car seat after taking him out for a few hours, he’s back to screaming as if he’s being tortured.

He’s nearly a year old, but barely old enough for such a long road trip. Though it’s not as if Buck has any real options. There’s no way in hell he’s staying within a five-mile radius of his parents; he didn’t even consider calling or heading in their direction after landing in Pennsylvania. And he can’t even imagine going back on a plane after the disaster that was their flights to PA.

It was pure torture for everyone on board, but a special kind of torture for Buck, since he was the one receiving all the glares as his kid spent half the flight screaming bloody murder until he screamed himself to sleep. He’s never been so embarrassed in his life. Things calmed down somewhat when they landed in Miami for their connecting flight, but once they boarded the next plane, Theo was back at it until once again he’d cried himself to sleep.

So no, he was probably never flying again.

But they’ve been driving for days now, and he’s beyond exhausted. Sleeping in his jeep was far more manageable before he had a baby. Now, it was downright terrifying. Just the other night, some random weirdo, probably a borderline pedophile, come to think of it, came up to his window in the middle of the night, asking if he needed a helping hand. And after spotting Theo whimpering in the back seat, he proceeded to jerk his hand off in demonstration of a handjob when Buck took too long to answer.

Buck had grabbed his keys and started his car as fast as he could, peeling out of the lot without looking back. Ever since then, he’s been foregoing sleep for as long as he can, and when he’d reached his limit, he bit the bullet and “splurged” on a motel room. Using one of the chairs as added protection to hold the door closed.

He knows that logically, they can’t keep this up. He still has a really long way to go before he makes it to LA, the last place his sister had mentioned to him. He doesn’t think he can afford to spend any more nights in those seedy motels, and he shudders at the thought of ever sleeping in his car again.

But when his jeep starts overheating every few miles, the decision is sort of taken out of his hand, because he definitely can’t afford whatever it’s going to cost to fix what’s wrong.

He’d found his jeep exactly where he’d left it when they landed in PA, at one of the long-term storage facilities that Diego had been paying for for the past few years. His late husband had convinced him that it cost more than it was worth to have his jeep shipped to Peru, so Buck had kept it under lock and key and just drove whatever car Diego left for him in their garage.

He’s not surprised that the jeep has finally decided to call it quits.

By the time he pulls the jeep into a nearby dealership, he’s feeling just as overstimulated as the baby in the backseat currently bawling his eyes out.

God, how does this kid have any more tears left to cry?  

Neither one of them had had the best night’s rest, but at least Theo had gotten in a few good hours of sleep. Buck was running on no sleep and an unhealthy amount of energy drinks.

He’s twitchy and irritable, and Theo’s crying was setting him off too. He drops his head onto the steering wheel and tries to take a few steadying breaths as he thinks of what to do next. When the tears finally stop flowing, and he’s scrubbed his face about a hundred thousand times, he looks at himself in the mirror and grimaces.

His eyes are bloodshot, probably from a mixture of lack of sleep and stress, and the bags under them are big enough to carry all of his problems. Overall, he just looks over it.

He throws that all to the side and opens his car door, moving to the backseat to unbuckle Theo from his car seat and bounce him around a few times to get him to calm down.

“It’s all right, little guy, daddy’s here.” He whispers to him, wiping away the tears from his face while pacing back and forth to get him to settle. It doesn’t take much more than that, and within a few minutes Theo is sniffling, his little breaths hitching as he finally starts to calm down.

“That’s right, buddy. Just take a few more breaths for me and then we can go and see Auntie Maddie. I bet she’s going to be so happy to meet you.” He whispers, moving back to the car and grabbing Theo’s diaper bag. He considers putting him back in the car seat but thinks better of it, it’s not like the jeep was going anywhere anytime soon.

Theo’s little head is buried in his neck, but he’s still wide awake, babbling mismatched words that Buck knows will eventually spell out “dada.” He grabs the small canister filled with the berry snack melts that Theo is obsessed with and sits him on his lap in the driver’s seat while he pulls out his phone.

He looks through all the possible modes of transportation and lands on the one that makes the most sense to him. He’s never taken a train before, doesn’t know much about them, but maybe that’s the route he needs to go. It’ll definitely be better for Theo than another plane ride in any case, more comfortable and more room to spread out. No cabin pressure to have him screaming bloody murder. But if he can barely afford a motel room, or whatever it will cost to get his jeep fixed, how the hell is he going to afford a train ticket for the two of them?

He looks it up. He’s somewhere in Phoenix right now, and it looks like they don’t charge for kids under the age of 3, so that’s a plus. He’s down to his last three hundred dollars, and he’s not sure how he can stretch it any longer than a few days at the rate they’re going. And the jeep is definitely going to have him spending more than that to get it fixed.

One train ticket will cost him around 150, and if he buys some snacks beforehand, he won’t have to worry about spending an arm and a leg for a bag of peanuts and a bottle of water on the ride. He has a fresh can of formula in the diaper bag that should last him a good while, and a few soft snacks for Theo to munch on throughout the trip. And if he can sell his jeep, well, that will give him a nice cushion when he makes it to LA and make it easier for him while he tries to find his sister.

With that settled, he gets to work. He’s sure he looks pathetic and desperate enough to get a good price out of someone at this dealership. His jeep isn’t in bad condition; he just can’t afford to fix any of its problems. So, with any luck, he can get a good chunk of change out of one of the guys inside.

A few hours and a full belly later, he and Theo are making their way onto the AMTRAK, his pockets a few thousand dollars heavier. Apparently, a good sob story and a crying baby is all you really need to make a guy uncomfortable enough to fork over some money, plus a free voucher for a breakfast meal at the cafe down the street.

He grabs a seat for himself, Theo nestled in his lap, and shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath in before letting it out slowly.

It’s not exactly ideal, especially since he’s not sure how he’s supposed to hold his bladder for nearly 10 hours straight while he’s holding Theo, but this is the cheapest, safest, and most comfortable option for the two of them. And Theo hasn’t shed a tear yet.

He does regret having to sell the jeep, though. Maddie had given it to him when he left home, and he’s had it since that day. It had gotten him through some really tough years, and it was a constant reminder of his sister. But, if everything goes according to plan, he’ll actually be with his sister. And that was a hundred times better than just the thought of her.

It’s a pretty quiet ride, and he even makes nice with a woman and her fiancé across the aisle and a row behind him, who graciously offer to hold Theo whenever he needs to use the restroom or stretch his arms for a bit.

They’re an older couple, maybe in their late forties or early fifties, but they seem cool all the same. Laid-back and not at all like they have perpetual sticks up their asses, like a lot of Diego’s friends had been. Diego was a good 15 years older than Buck, and so were most of his friends.  Was it a little weird? Maybe. But Buck had always liked his partners older.

He figured Diego would be uncomfortable with it, but it was the complete opposite. He loved showing Buck off, loved the attention it brought them. And at first, so did Buck. Until that attention turned his husband into a green-eyed monster.

Maybe that was something to consider the next time he got involved with someone. Older didn’t always mean wiser.

Diego’s parents assumed he was a gold digger the second they met him, which was so far from the truth that it was laughable. He could care less about money and status; hell, he left home because of that very same thing. When he met Diego, he had no idea that he was the son of some kind of mining tycoon. He wasn’t attracted to him because of what he was worth; he was attracted to him because of his energy. And well, he wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes.

Diego was tall, dark, and handsome, with a face that drew people in. Add to it the fact that he was charismatic, easy to talk to, and had a sense of adventure; well, he was right up Buck’s alley. The wealth and power hadn’t been something that Buck had even been aware of until after they got together. And with that, their long, complicated relationship began. Where he had to fight Diego’s parents tooth and nail, most of the time without the backing of the person who was supposed to always have his back.

On Buck’s really bad days, he used to curse his parents and his sister for never teaching him what any other kind of love looked like. Because this is all he’s ever known, all he’s ever seen emulated in front of him. And he accepted it as love because it’s what he saw from his parents, from all of Diego’s friends. From Maddie and Doug, even though he never liked how Doug treated his sister the few times he saw them together.

“I remember when my kids were this young.” The guy across from him, Sam, says, pulling him from his dark thoughts. The two of them have been making small talk while his fiancé, Abby, was grabbing a drink.

Like usual, any mention of kids has him perking up. “You have kids?”

“Two girls. 12 and 13.” He smiles, and Buck wonders if that’s how he looks when he talks about Theo, like he’s the sun.

God, he hopes so.

“Wow, I don’t think I can picture Theo ever being older than he is right now.” He grins. The thought of his kid someday becoming a teenager scares the hell out of him.

“Yeah, it goes by in the blink of an eye.” He nods. Theo lets out a small squawk, that turns into a frown, and then he’s crying.

Whelp, there goes their peace and quiet.

“Really? ‘Scuse me!”

Buck’s eyes shoot to the guy a row in front of his, waving his newspaper at him and apparently Theo. Buck’s face turns hot at the unwanted attention; flashes of their plane ride to Pennsylvania causing him to break out in a cold sweat.

He feels his shoulders scrunch up to his ears like it did whenever Diego got in a mood about something.

“Sorry, but it’s not like I can control when he cries. He’s just a little cranky ‘cause he’s hungry. You can’t be mad at a baby, man.” He frowns.

“I can when it infringes on my peace and quiet.”  The guy argues back, his face twisted like he smells something sour.

Buck looks over at Sam and grimaces, knowing that this isn’t heading anywhere good. He’s tempted to take the seat that Abby left vacant, just for some distance, and to have Sam as an added layer of protection, but he’s too embarrassed to move now.

“Look, let me just get him a bottle going, and you won’t have to worry about him-”

“I don’t care!”

Buck flinches, automatically pulling Theo closer to his body. He’s never been a fan of loud voices or any kind of confrontation in general, but since Diego, his anxiety has heightened, and this entire altercation is making him jumpy.

“Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Sam moves to intervene, sensing Buck’s unease, or maybe because he’s a natural-born peacekeeper like Buck himself. Either way, Buck appreciates the backup.

“Why don’t we hit the pause button here, all right?” He looks pointedly at the older guy. “I think a little peace and quiet would be a great idea all around. Just give him a minute to get his kid a bottle made.”

“Like that’s really going to fix anything. He spent the entire ride babbling. He’ll just be crying for a diaper change next.” The guy grumbles, and Buck feels himself shrink at the words.

Sam shakes his head, and then leans closer to the older man in an attempt to reason with him. “Come on, man. He’s a baby. Cut them a little break. Besides, all this yelling is only going to make him cry more.” Sam reminds him.

Before the older guy has a chance to reconsider his words or start a fight about something else, the train gives a sharp jerk, and Buck and Theo nearly go flying. Metal screeches, glass shatters, and people start to scream. The entire scene is chaotic, and all Buck can think to do is try and hunker down with his body wrapped around Theo as the only form of protection.

When he comes to, everything is dark. There’s dust and smoke in the air, and his entire body aches. For a second he can’t remember what happened, can’t remember where he is or what’s going on. And then, like a light bulb has suddenly turned on, it all comes crashing back.

A crash. He was in a train crash. Derailment? He thinks that’s what they’re called, at least. A train derailment.

A loud, sharp cry breaks through the silence, and Buck’s heart nearly stops.

Theo?

Oh God, Theo.

He moves his hands around and feels immediate relief when the familiar weight of his baby is still there, sitting heavily on his chest and whimpering. Small, sad, broken sounds that tear at his heart every time he hears them. He doesn’t think they’re cries of pain, but he honestly can’t tell. Maybe he’s just scared?

Why can’t he tell? A good parent would be able to differentiate between his kid’s cries.

What if he’s hurt? What if he’s in pain and that’s why he’s crying?

“Hey, buddy. Hey, you’re okay. Yeah? You’re okay.” He gives his boy a once-over, carefully patting him down, but he has no idea what he’s even looking for. He’s not a medical professional, and it’s too dark for him to actually make anything out. What he does know, though, is that he needs to get him out of here and to a hospital. But how the hell is he supposed to do that when they’re trapped in a derailed train?

He looks around for some form of help, but he keeps forgetting that he can’t see anything because something is blocking his view, and with Theo in his arms, he can’t move it to get it out of his way.

And then he remembers Sam. Thoughtful Sam. Sam who came to his defense against the old jerk, a row in front of him. Sam will know what to do; he’ll get them out of here.

“Sam?” He calls for the man, but his voice sounds weak even to his own ears. He’s the only person Buck knows on the train, other than Abby, that is. But she wasn’t with them when the train derailed; he hopes she’s okay.

“Sam, please?” He tries again, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around the whimpering bundle in his arms. He needs help. Theo needs help, and Sam had been so nice, the nicest person he’s seen in a very long time. If he can get to Sam then he’ll get them out of here.

He moves and feels his vision white out for a full ten seconds. And when it comes back he’s left panting. He hadn’t realized it before, too caught up in needing to get Theo to safety, but he really fucking hurts. Everywhere, really, but there was a localized pain that was starting to make itself known the more he breathed, and it was coming from the right side of his body.

He can’t move, which means he can’t get out. And if he can’t get out, then how is he supposed to get Theo out? Oh God, they were gonna be trapped in here until they became two more dead bodies to add to however many more were piled around them.

“Please, please, don’t let us die in here.” He begs again, and then, like the universe had been ready to answer his prayers, he hears the sound of footsteps, machinery, and muffled voices. The sound of something loud and mechanical catches his ears next, causing the pain in his head to ratchet up a level and the pain in his side to ignite tenfold.

He screams, Theo screams, and then all noise stops. Everything except the sound of Theo’s distressed cries and his panting breaths.

He inhales shakily, blinks the wetness from his eyes, and whispers empty reassurances to his son that everything is going to be okay. And thankfully, it isn’t long after that that the chairs are pulled apart, and something is lifted off of him and finally he can see something other than complete darkness.

“Oh my God.”

He looks up at the voice and is momentarily caught off guard by the man in front of him. Because he’s… well, he’s beautiful. He can’t explain why his brain decides to zero in on this very insignificant piece of information, at this very inappropriate time, but it does. The man in front of him is drop-dead gorgeous, and Buck feels an irrational need to tell him so.

He doesn’t, obviously, but it’s a very close thing. He’s always been a sucker for big brown eyes.

“That’s them.” Sam’s voice calls out from a few feet away, and Buck turns his head to see Sam leaning against the chairs across from him, looking just as bad off as Buck feels. “Thank God. Hey, Buck, how are you and little Theo doing?”

“Sam,” Buck says, relief in his voice. “I don’t know. I think Theo’s okay, but I- I can’t tell. I can’t move. I’m…” He squeezes his eyes shut as a wave of pain and nausea crashes into him so strong it takes his breath away. He audibly swallows down bile before speaking again. “I’m not doing too great.”

“I bet.” Brown eyes says, bending down to his level so that they’re face to face, and Buck’s momentarily distracted again. Geez, he swears he can make out every speck of color in this guy’s eyes. “Hey, I’m Eddie.”

Eddie. Yeah, he looks like an Eddie. He wonders what it’s short for. Eduardo maybe?

Shit. He definitely has a concussion, because why can’t he stop focusing on how attractive this guy is?

“Hey?”

Buck blinks. “What?”

“I asked you where it hurts?”

“Oh.” Buck gives his head a little shake and immediately regrets it when stars fill his vision.  

“Yeah, maybe don’t do that.” Eddie frowns, looking up from where Theo is still whimpering in his arms, to brush his thumb softly along Buck’s forehead, where there must be a cut or something. It comes away red.

Buck grimaces before answering his first question with a small cough. “My uh… my side. It really hurts.” And then he looks back down at Theo, who’s still letting out those heartbreaking whimpering cries, and asks. “But can you…”

Eddie nods before he can finish his question, already one step ahead of him. He pulls back some, and then carefully takes Theo from his arms. Buck has to physically stop himself from reaching out and yanking him back.

They’re here to help, he reminds himself. Theo is going to be safer with them than with him. “How is he? Is he hurt?” He can’t keep the worry from his voice when Theo doesn’t instantly settle down, even though he knows that Theo isn’t a fan of new people.

Now that it’s no longer pitch black, he can make out the dried blood surrounding a small cut on Theo’s cheek, and the beginning stages of bruises on his arms. So Buck had not been as successful as he thought he’d been in keeping Theo safe. It brings instant tears to his eyes.

“Eddie?” An older firefighter standing beside Buck’s brown-eyed firefighter asks. Buck hadn’t even noticed him before now.  

“Uh, good. Yeah, the kid seems good, Cap. A few cuts and bruises here and there, but nothing to not be expected in a crash like this. We should still get him to a hospital. Get him checked for any internal injuries or anything else I might have missed.”

“Internal injuries?” Buck chokes out, voice rising with fear. “I- I did everything I could to keep him safe. I- I mean, I covered him with my body, but maybe it wasn’t enough.” He coughs, and he tastes something metallic on his tongue.

Blood. A taste that he is intimately familiar with.

“Maybe.” Eddie repeats. “Really, it’s just a precaution. You did everything right. You protected him from the brunt of the crash. Trust me, a crash as bad as this one I would expect something a lot worse than scrapes and bruises.”

“He won’t stop crying, though.” Buck says, worried.

Eddie shakes his head. “I think he’s just overwhelmed by everything around him. This was a major accident, Buck; I would be more worried if he were calm.”  

Buck nods his head and tries his best to believe that.

“Alright, Dad, it’s your turn.”

Buck watches as the Captain steps away to talk into his radio, and he can’t help the anxiety that starts to build at that.

“What- what’s going to happen to Theo?”

Eddie looks over at him before offering him a reassuring smile. Theo has already started to calm down in the stranger’s arms, something that doesn’t happen often.

His baby was not a fan of anyone other than his daddy.

“Bobby, that’s my captain; he’s just calling in for reinforcements. He’s gonna get a couple more of our guys up here to help us get you all out. And then one of our paramedics will check this little guy over again.” At that, he gives Theo’s cheek a small poke, making him flash Eddie a shy smile. “To make sure everything is good before taking him to the hospital. Just for precaution.” He adds the last part in quick before Buck has the time to worry over his words.

Buck nods. Something about Eddie makes him want to believe everything he’s saying.

“He likes you.” Buck blurts out randomly as he watches Eddie rock Theo back and forth. Theo has long since calmed down and is now lying comfortably in the fire fighter’s arms, looking back and forth from Buck and Eddie. “Do you have kids?”

Eddie smiles down at Theo and nods. “Yeah, one. His name’s Christopher.” But before they can get any further into their conversation, Bobby walks back over to them with two other firefighters at his side.

“Buck, this is Chimney and Lena. Chimney’s one of our firefighter paramedics; he’s going to get Theo out and get him checked over. Lena is going to help us get you out of here.”

“And Sam.” Buck says, finally looking away from Theo and Eddie to Sam, still slouched over his chair. “You have to get Sam out too. He has two kids.” He says, before a small coughing fit takes over and he groans. “And he’s getting married in June.”

Eddie passes Theo over to Chimney and crouches in front of him.

“We’re going to take care of Sam; don’t you worry about him. How are you feeling? Is the pain getting worse?”

“Yup…” He says, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “Hurts real bad.”

“Okay. I’m gonna take a peek.” He feels Eddie’s hands on him, groaning when the pain gets worse for a second before Eddie pulls back and shares a look with the rest of his team.

“What? What is it?” Buck asks. He doesn’t want to be left out of knowing about his own injuries.

Eddie turns back to him and gives him a pained look, then says carefully, “The force of the crash pushed your leg up into your torso.”

“It what?”

“This is gonna hurt a bit, but I need to check for something.” He feels Eddie’s hand on his foot this time, pulling at his shoe, and the cry that slips past his clenched teeth surprises even him.

“There’s still a pulse in his foot. Blood is still pumping to it.” Eddie tells his captain, before telling Buck he’ll be right back and leaving to confer with the rest of his team.

Buck didn’t even know that losing a pulse in his foot was a possibility, but now that he does, he’s feeling even more stressed about his situation. Is he going to lose his leg? How is he supposed to take care of Theo if he’s recovering from an amputated limb?

It takes longer than Buck is comfortable with for Eddie to come back, and when he does, there’s this look on his face as he looks from Buck to Sam, lips pressed in a tight line.

Buck immediately knows something is wrong. Sam’s face is more devoid of color than a second ago, and a sinking realization passes over him as his blood turns ice cold.

They can’t save them both.

He swallows. He doesn’t have a contingency plan for something like this. For who would take Leo if something were to happen to him. His sister didn’t even know he was coming to LA. Hell, she doesn’t even know about Leo.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?” He asks in a panic when Eddie finally comes back over to him, crouching down to insert an IV into his hand to help with his pain.

Eddie’s head shoots up, and a fierce “No” pushes past his lips.

Buck sighs and takes a breath in an effort to calm his racing heart. “You don’t need to lie to me.” He takes another shaky breath and realizes that it’s getting harder to breathe. “I can see the truth… all over your face, man.”

Eddie shakes his head and opens his mouth to argue that but Buck beats him to it.

“I don’t want to die.” He tells him and feels like crap when Eddie’s face falls. But when he looks up at Sam and the other firefighter whose name he can’t remember, he sees them locked in a deep conversation as well. And he wonders if it’s the same one he’s having with Eddie.

“And you’re not going to.” Eddie says firmly. “Because that’s not what we do. We don’t choose who gets to live and who gets to die.”

Buck wants to believe him. He wants to believe him so bad that he doesn’t argue back. Just lets the false reassurance settle over him for a bit.

“Why don’t you tell me about your son. Theo, right?”

Buck nods his head. “Yeah. My little Spiderman.”

Eddie smiles. “Spiderman?”

“He’s a climber.” Buck grins, which is all he really needs to say to that.

Eddie laughs. “How old is he?” he asks, securing the tape over the needle in his hand.

Buck blinks. “11 months. Almost a year. I’m all he’s got in this world. His other dad… he’s not… he’s not in the picture anymore.”

Eddie nods. “Well, to make it through an accident like this practically injury-free? He’s a strong little guy, that’s for sure.”

Buck grins at the compliment. “Yeah, he is.”

“Just like his dad.” Eddie adds with another one of those fierce looks of his. Like he’s hoping the force behind his stare will be enough to make Buck believe his words.

“I’m going to do everything I can to get you home to him. But you have to promise that you’re going to keep fighting to make sure that he doesn’t have to lose another parent. Deal?”

Buck holds eye contact for a long second before he nods. “Deal.”

Eddie’s called back over to the rest of his team, and Buck uses that break to close his eyes for a second. Just as he feels himself drifting off, the train rumbles, and everything tilts. His pain doubles, and his vision turns gray for a second before slowly creeping back in.

It takes a lot longer for Eddie to come back this time, and he can hear bits and pieces of their conversation. Something about Eddie wanting to try and save both him and Sam, but the Captain and the other firefighter disagreeing with his plan.

He wants to live. He wants to get back to his son, but he doesn’t want to live at the risk of someone else’s life. It’s clear that Sam is the better option here, has the bigger chance of survival. Buck’s… well, he’s decompensating, apparently. His chances of making it out of here alive are low.

And that’s when it really hits him. That he’s really not making it out of here. Theo is going to grow up without his dad. His breath catches in his throat, and he bites his lip to keep the tears at bay.

Theo may be about to lose his last remaining parent, but he wasn’t going to be alone in this world.

When Eddie comes back over to him, face set and eyes averted, Buck lets out a tired sigh. “It’s okay.”

Eddie looks up. “What?”

“It’s okay.” Buck shrugs. “I know Sam’s the better option here. And that’s okay.”

“Buck…”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. Does it suck? Hell yeah it sucks. But it’s okay. Sam has kids, he has a fiance. He has a life to get back to. I…” He closes his eyes for a second before opening them again. They’re blurrier than before. “I have Theo. That’s it.”

“And that’s reason enough to make it out of here alive, Buck.”

Buck shrugs. “If there were any other options, I’d be all for it. Like I said before, I don’t want to die, Eddie. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. And I won’t let you sacrifice yourself to get us both out.”

Eddie stills.

“Yeah, you guys have pretty loud “private conversations.” Buck smirks.

Eddie swallows, and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple draws Buck’s attention for a second. “Just… can you promise me something?”

“Buck I am not letting you die.” Eddie grits out.

“It doesn’t really look like you have much of a choice there, Eddie.” He argues back.

Eddie’s jaw ticks, and Buck finds it a little hot.

“Can you tell me something?” He asks instead, not being able to focus on what he wants Eddie to do for him before figuring something else out first. Something that’s been nagging him for the past half hour.

Eddie gives a jerky nod, checking his vitals as he looks over his shoulder while the rest of his team prepares to get Sam out.

“Why does your captain think that you’re “too close” to this?”

Eddie turns his attention fully back to him and huffs out a breath of air. “I guess we need to work on our indoor voices.”

Buck chuckles. “Well?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, and those drugs must really be working their way into his system because he finds that hot, too. It’s a shame that he’s not going to make it out of this. Because he might have gathered up enough courage to ask this man out on a date.

“I have a kid.”

Buck nods. “Yeah, Christopher. I remember.”

Eddie stills at that, as if he assumed that Buck would have forgotten that important bit of imformation. “Yeah. Christopher. Well, I’m all he’s got too. His mom, she died last year.”

Oh. Well, that makes more sense. “Okay. Yeah, I get it now.”

Eddie nods. “Yup.”

It’s quiet for a bit, before Eddie brings the conversation back. “You said you wanted to ask me something before?”

Buck hums, feeling his nerves set in with what he’s about to ask from this complete stranger. “Yeah, I uh. I’m sorry to put this burden on you. But, I kind of feel a connection to you now and I think you’d fight to make this happen.”

Eddie frowns but waits patiently for him to continue.

“I have a sister. But we haven’t spoken in a really long time. If… if I don’t make it out of here. She’s who I want to have Theo.”

Eddie watches him long and hard, like he’s battling with himself over whether or not to agree, before finally giving in. “Yeah, okay.”

Buck offers him a surprised smile. He’s both relieved and saddened by the quick response, because while he doesn’t have to fight to be heard anymore, it also means that he’s right. He really isn’t making it out of here.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Buck shakes his head. “No, not… I mean, not just for that, but for fighting for me.”

Eddie frowns.

“It’s been a long time since I had someone actually fight for me. It’s a nice feeling.” Buck smiles.

Something Buck says must hit Eddie harder than he intended for it to, because the next thing he knows, the guy is gone, and a heated conversation starts back up again between Eddie and his Captain, that Buck only catches bits and pieces of.

When Eddie comes back, there’s a determined look in his eyes. “I am not giving up on you, Buck. You hear me?” Eddie says, taking his chin in his hand and forcing Buck to look up at him. “I know it hurts, I know you’re tired, but I am not giving up. So don’t you dare give up on yourself. Theo needs his dad.”

Buck feels his eyes fill with tears again and he blinks them away before nodding his agreement.

“I am going to get you out of here.” Eddie repeats.

After that he disappears, and a series of noises starts up outside of the train, and he’s certain Eddie is responsible for it. He’s never prayed before, doesn’t know if he even believes in God, but he prays now. He prays that everyone makes it out of here and that Eddie doesn’t get himself killed trying to save Buck’s life, because that would kill him. Another kid losing their parent.

The other firefighter from before, the girl whose name he can’t remember, is still working on getting Sam ready for extraction while Eddie works on the outside to get him out.

“I’m really sorry, Sam.” He says, holding back a grimace when he swallows and tastes blood again.

Sam looks over at him, brows furrowed. “For what?”

“That you got hurt.” Buck says, taking in a another shaky breath. “You were really nice to me and my son.”

Sam smiles. “Well, you two make it easy.” Buck highly doubts that, but he doesn’t tell Sam that he’s wrong. “I’m sorry too. I hate that you’re stuck here when you should be with Theo and your sister.”

“You two can stop apologizing to each other.” The firefighter says with a firm look in both of their directions. “We’re getting you out of here.” She adds. He can see the back of her turnout coat and reads the name “Bosko” in big letters.

He hears the sound of the saw going on and off, and metal creaking before the train starts to tilt again. But then it steadies, and the noise continues until a small section right next to his face opens up, and Eddie’s head is poking through.

Buck laughs. He laughs, and Eddie laughs, and Bosko and Sam laugh. And it’s obviously in poor taste, given that they’re all still in immediate danger of the train falling and taking all of them with it.

But honestly, he’s just relieved. So freaking relieved. Because it worked. Eddie’s plan actually worked, and Buck just might make it out of here after all. Theo’s not going to lose his last remaining parent.

“All right,” Eddie calls out to someone from the ground. “Send up the basket!”

It takes another terrifying few minutes before he’s on solid ground again and being rolled to an ambulance. And though he feels like he might be half delirious from blood loss and pain that the IV medication can’t possibly touch, he still has enough of his faculties in tact to ask for the most important person to him.

He looks around for someone who would know anything, but he doesn’t recognize any of the faces. He has the face of the guy who carried his son down from the train memorized, but from what he can see, he’s not here.

“Eddie?” He calls out because his name is the only name he remembers at the moment, and the guy fought so hard to make sure that Buck could make it this far. He’ll know where his son is.

“Eddie?” He looks around, feeling panicked when Eddie doesn’t immediately appear in his line of sight.

“Eddie? Where-”

And then, like magic, Eddie’s right there with him, resting his hand on the railing of the gurney he’s lying on. Buck lets out a sigh of relief. “Where’s Theo? I- I need to see my son. Where is he?”

“Hey, it’s all right. Take a breath for me.”

Buck struggles to follow the instructions, his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest. He grabs Eddie’s hand in a death grip and looks him in the eyes. “Please,”

“It’s okay, Buck. He’s safe. He’s at the hospital with one of our team. Remember?”

He lets out a breath of relief. No, he didn’t remember that.

“Do you still want me to get in contact with your sister? Do you know her number?” Eddie pulls his phone out from the inside pocket of his turnout coat as they come to a stop by the ambulance.

Buck shakes his head and feels the world tilt with him. Oh God. He squeezes his eyes shut tight and swallows bile for what feels like the hundredth time today. Eventually, his stomach is going to win the battle, but that’s not going to happen until he finishes talking to Eddie.

“No, I- I don’t know her number.” He admits, feeling more ashamed of that than the fact that he was still holding this stranger’s hand.

“I don’t…” He starts through clenched teeth because he is seconds away from barfing. “We haven’t spoken in a really long time. But I know she lives in LA. And I know she’s a 9-1-1 dispatcher.” He says, hoping that that’s enough information for Eddie to go on because that’s all he’s got.”

“Okay. Okay, that’s- that’s fine. Um…” He looks at Buck and frowns. “Hey, you might want to get one of those emesis bags ready.” Eddie points out to the paramedic on his right. Observent as always.

Buck racks his brain for something else to say, some other way for Eddie to get in contact with his sister as the paramedics start loading him into the ambulance. He accepts the bag gratefully before looking back over at Eddie.

And then he remembers something that has him feeling like a complete idiot. It’s the first thing he should have remembered to say, and the only reason he can think of for not having told Eddie this to begin with is because of his obvious concussion.

“Her name is Maddie, if that helps. Maddie Buckley.” He says, and as one of the paramedics slams the door shut and he proceeds to empty all of the contents of his stomach into that little plastic bag, he misses the way Eddie’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open in shock.

He wakes up to the sound of a monitor beeping and people talking in hushed voices. The sounds and smells, the unnatural cold in the air. He’s been through his fair share of hospital stays, both as a kid and during his marriage to Diego, to know exactly where he is. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to confirm it. So when he hears voices speaking inside his room, he keeps his eyes firmly shut and listens in.

“I’m sure there’s more than one person named Maddie Buckley.”

“Really? A coincidence? You honestly believe that?”

That’s Eddie’s voice. Just the thought of him being so close has Buck wanting to open his eyes to see him.

“Does Maddie have a brother?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Because you’re the one dating her. Who else should I be asking.”

Wait, what? Who the hell was this guy that Maddie was dating?

“Are you sure he said Maddie Buckley?”

“Yes, Chimney, I’m sure. How about you go give her a call and see if she’s the right Maddie instead of asking me a million and one questions.”

The other guy, Chimney, lets out a breath of air, like he’s finally admitting defeat.

“Yeah, all right.”

“And make it quick. I want to have an answer for him before he wakes up.” Eddie says.

Too late for that.

There’s a pregnant pause that lasts long enough that Buck is tempted to forgo his false unconsciousness just to see what’s going on.

“You look awfully comfortable there.”

Chimney’s words sound accusatory. Like he’s fishing for something, and Buck wonders what he means by that. Eddie must feel the same way, because Chimney’s rushing out of the room a second later, as if Eddie’s shoved him out the door.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m going.”

The sound of a door opening and then closing catches his ears before a small cry fills the space.

“Hey, it’s okay, Spiderman. You’re okay. Daddy’s right over there, you see? He’s just sleeping.” Eddie’s voice is lower than before, small shushing sounds accompanying his words.

Buck feels the pull of sleep wanting to drag him back under, but if there’s one thing to bring him out of his half-awake state, it’s the sound of his son’s cries.

“Theo…” He croaks out, voice rough and dry. He blinks his eyes open, something that takes far more effort than he expects.

“Buck?”

Eddie sounds just as surprised as he looks, standing at the foot of his bed, arms curled around a small crying bundle that Buck would be able to spot from anywhere.

Theo.

Eddie walks over to the side of his bed, and Buck pushes himself up. Correction, he tries to push himself up, but he only succeeds in igniting fire across his entire body.

He lets out a long groan, and the monitor starts blaring angrily.

“Hey, hey, stop.” Eddie says, one hand gently pressing his shoulder back into the mattress, while the other one is still holding his son. “Don’t try to move. You’re banged up pretty good and…” He looks at the board on the wall behind him. “Probably due for your next dose of pain meds.”

The door opens, and a nurse comes in. She smiles at Eddie but doesn’t question why he’s here or ask him to leave. She just introduces herself to Buck, checks his vitals, and tells him that he can start administering his own doses when he feels like he needs it. She promises that a doctor will be here in a little bit to give him a rundown on his injuries and what his recovery will look like, and then she leaves. But not before gushing over how cute Theo is and telling Buck that he has an adorable family.

He’s shocked enough that he doesn’t answer, but Eddie doesn’t seem to have that problem. He smiles and accepts the compliment with a thanks, all while cradling Theo like he’s his actual other parent.

Buck should probably feel some kind of offense by it, but oddly, he doesn’t. He just finds it a turn-on.

Eddie chances a glance at him when the door closes and offers Buck a shrug. “Sorry about that. They just assumed that we were a couple when I got here and I didn’t want to risk social services being called while you were still so out of it. Sorry if that was stepping over the line.”

Buck shakes his head. “No, not at all. Thank you for that. I appreciate you for stepping in and having our backs.”

“Anytime.” Eddie smiles, and God, what a beautiful smile it is.

He has to forcefully look away from it so that he can concentrate on more pressing matters. “Um, how- how’s Theo?”

Eddie looks down and smiles. “He’s perfect. Doctors checked him over, and other than a few bruises and scrapes, he’s good. You did real good.” He tells him and Buck feels his eyes tearing up again, this time from relief.

Eddie carefully leans forward so that Theo is hovering above Buck. “Hey, buddy.” Buck says, grinning with tears in his eyes when Theo wraps his little arms around his neck. “I missed you, spiderman.”

Theo babbles off a few words that no one understands, clearly excited to see his dad, but thankfully doesn’t fight it when Eddie pulls him back. Buck is in no shape to hold him right now.

“Thank you.” His voice cracks. Eddie grabs a cup of water and helps him take a few careful sips before taking a seat by his bedside. Theo immediately reaches out for Buck again, trying and failing to say the words “dada”.

Buck reaches out a hand and lets Theo grip it tightly, but doesn’t make an effort to take him. It seems to satisfy his kid for now.

Eddie’s hold on Theo is still firm, and Buck is grateful for it. Because as much as he wishes he could hold his son after having been apart for as long as they’ve been, he can only imagine how painful that would be on his body right now.

“God, I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been okay.”

“Hey,” Eddie shakes his head. “You don’t have to thank me. You did all the hard work. You protected him. He’s alive because of you, Buck.”

Buck nods his head, rubbing soft circles on Theo’s hand as he stares in amazement at how comfortable he seems in Eddie’s arms.

“He really likes you.” Buck says, furrowing his brows.

Eddie’s eyes drop down to the bundle that seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. Theo was a little small for his age, a little behind the other kids in his age group, but his pediatrician assured Buck that it was all normal and she wasn’t worried. So Buck wasn’t worried either.

“I’m sorry, did you want me to put him down? I- he was crying. I didn’t want him to wake you up, and I didn’t want to just leave him there, but…”

Buck shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. Really. I was only thinking that he seems more comfortable in your arms than he ever did in my husband’s.”

Eddie blinks at him. “Your husband…” He looks down at Buck’s finger as if he somehow missed the ring there. He didn’t.  Buck hadn’t worn his wedding ring for weeks. There wasn’t even an imprint anymore.

“Yeah, he uh… he passed away about a month ago.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s eyes widen, realizing what he meant by ‘not in the picture anymore.’ “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s- it’s fine.” He waves the guy off, but Eddie shakes his head.

“Trust me, I get it.” He keeps going. “My wife passed away late last year. I know how hard that’s got to be, especially when there are kids involved.”

Buck wants to take his sympathy and just swallow it down. Pretend that it really is the way Eddie’s thinking that it is. But he can’t. Something about this man has him letting go of all of his defenses. He doesn’t want Eddie wasting any of his apologies on Diego.

“He wasn’t a good person.” Buck says, keeping his eyes on Theo instead of looking at whatever Eddie’s face is doing at his admission. And then, because he hasn’t had anyone to talk to about this with, he finds himself spilling even more details.

“He was great when we first met. I mean like, really great. We met in Peru, one of my last stops after traveling up and down the east coast for a few months. He was funny, sweet, and adventurous. He liked to dote on me and he had this jealous streak that at the time, I found really hot.”

Buck snorts, thinking back to that time. He knows that it wasn’t all a front. Diego was still all of those things, but it had been getting harder and harder to pull that person out of the person he had become after they got married.

“We traveled together for a few more weeks, but we eventually went back to Peru. It’s where Diego was from and where he wanted to build our family. I didn’t have any attachments anywhere, so I agreed. We made it official not too long after that. Short relationship. Even shorter engagement. I applied for a long-term visa when we got married, but things had already started to change with him, I just hadn’t wanted to see it yet.

“He was never a patient guy, but I only noticed it after we were married. He had a short temper. Happy one second and then angry the next. And his parents, God did they hate me.” Buck snorts. “They were more than happy to get rid of me the second he died.”

“Get rid of you? Wait, did they kick you out of your house? How?” Eddie asks, like he honestly can’t understand how that could possibly happen.

Buck shrugs. “Prenup. His parents had me sign one the second we talked about making things official. I was young and stupid and thought I was in love. I didn’t really think much about it. Definitely didn’t read through the papers. But it basically said that I get nothing if we ever got divorced or he died. So the house, never actually mine. He never put my name in the deed.

“His parents were filthy rich, his dad was some kind of mining tycoon? They didn’t trust me from the start. They were in charge of his finances, and they assumed I was only with their son for his money. In fact, they made it a point to tell me exactly that whenever they saw me. And Diego… he never really said anything to defend me.”

Eddie’s jaw twitches at that, like something he’s said has hit a nerve. “Then why did you stay with him?” He asks, voice soft and not at all like he’s blaming Buck for staying with someone as horrible as his late husband.

Buck shrugs. “I thought I loved him. I had been with him for years already and…” This, he feels a little shame for, because he knows that in a way, he used Diego just as much as Diego used him. But Eddie doesn’t seem like the type to judge, so he keeps going.

“And Diego promised that we could start a family. Have kids. Something that I have wanted my entire life, and I jumped at the chance. He had the money and the means to make it happen, and he was readily offering it to me. When he suggested that I quit bartending, at first I was against it, it was my only way of making my own money. Of not being dependent on someone else. But Diego made a point of implying that our child would need at least one parent at home, and he was too busy for that. So I gave in.

“I didn’t need to work because everything I needed was provided for me. Cars, food, clothes, money, healthcare. We didn’t lack for anything. It felt unreal some days, because after I dropped out of college and left home when I was 19, I struggled. Somedays I had to choose between putting gas in my jeep or eating a solid meal for the day. So to go from that, to never having to worry about a meal because my fridge and pantry were always full was…intoxicating.

“But I guess I didn’t realize how much of a disadvantage that left me with until Diego died and I realized that I had nothing to my name. Theo didn’t have health insurance anymore. We didn’t even have a place to live.”

“But…” Eddie’s face is a mixture of shock and anger as he looks down at the little boy in his arms with a frown. “But their grandson? Didn’t they care about what would happen to him at least?”

Buck snorts, letting his hand fall from Theo’s when he starts to wiggle about. He turns over, and Eddie helps him stand on his thighs as he reaches forward and grabs at his necklace.

“No. They never considered Theo their grandson. He wasn’t blood. Had no biological relation to them. They never even wanted me to have him. That’s the only thing that Diego didn’t let his parents bulldoze their way through. I wanted a baby, and Diego supported me in it. He let me handle the entire process and handed over his checkbook like it was nothing. I guess I thought that meant he wanted the same thing as me, to be a father. But… I was wrong. He just thought it would get me off his back. Be a good distraction for me.” Buck shrugs.

“He and Theo never really connected. Diego didn’t care to form that bond. And I never realized that Diego never added Theo to his will until a few weeks after the funeral, when his parents told me point-blank that we were getting nothing and had us pack our bags the next day.”

“Dios,” Eddie says, still watching Theo with the same baffled expression. “Fucking assholes.” He mutters under his breath, and then quickly apologizes with a wary look Theo’s way.

Buck waves off his apology and carries on with their conversation. “I have Theo, and that’s what really matters, because when I think about how bad this could have turned out if Theo was biologically Diego’s…” He shudders, and Eddie seems to understand.

“I would have been powerless to stop it. I wouldn’t even be able to fight them. So, yeah, it’s better this way. That they want nothing to do with us.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Eddie mutters, standing up when Theo starts to get fussy again. He paces the room and bounces him around, and Theo’s cries start to taper off.

He’s still awake, eyes glued to Eddie’s, just like Eddie’s are glued to his. It’s sweet, and even though Buck’s a little desperate to hold his son in his arms after being without him for so long, watching this not so complete stranger dote on his kid, who’s only ever had Buck as a solid support system, mends something in his heart.

“Oh, did you find any information about my sister?” He suddenly remembers, recalling the bits and pieces of conversation he heard while he was half awake.

Eddie’s head snaps to his. “Uh…maybe.”

Buck’s brow raises. “Maybe?”

Eddie lets out a sigh and comes back over to the side of his bed, retaking his seat. “I don’t want to get your hopes up if I’m wrong.” he finally says, brows creased in worry.

Buck shrugs. “Honestly, it’s stressing me out more not knowing whatever it is that you know. If it’s not her, then I’ll just keep looking.”

“We’ll just keep looking.” Eddie corrects with a smirk, and Buck feels a hesitant smile creep onto his face. “Hey, we’ve come this far together already. I’ve got your back.”

“Yeah, okay. And you know, I- I have your back too. Well, once I’m no longer confined to a hospital bed, that is.” He grins, agreeing way too easily, given that he still doesn’t know much about this guy other than his occupation, that he’s recently widowed, and that he has a son named Christopher.

A big smile takes over Eddie’s face, making him feel like maybe this crush isn’t as one-sided as he feared. “Okay.”

“Now, tell me about what you found.” Buck encourages.

Eddie leans back in his chair and arranges himself so Theo is lying comfortably on his chest, one hand running through his curls and his other rubbing slow circles on Theo’s back.

Theo’s blinks are coming in slowly as the heaviness of sleep finally starts to set in; one hand fisted in Eddie’s shirt while his other hand clutches Eddie’s medallion like a security blanket.   

Buck wishes he was Theo right now.

“Well, from the information you gave me about your sister-”

Buck grimaces. “Sorry about that. I know it wasn’t much.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, it was enough. It’s just that, well, what you told me fits with a Maddie that me and my team already know.”

Buck’s eyes widen. Sure, he heard the conversation that Eddie and that other guy were having when he first woke up, but clearly he hadn’t really grasped what it meant. “Wait, seriously?”

Eddie hums, and then begins to list off what he knows. “Maddie Buckley. Works as a disptacher. Brown hair and brown eyes? Originally from-

“Hershey Pennsylvania.” Buck finishes for him and both of them go quiet.

“Holy shit.”

“Holy shit.” Eddie agrees.

“You think this was fate?”

Eddie looks at him like he’s insane. “Fate?”

Buck shrugs. “Yeah, I mean. I’ve never even taken a train before today. My jeep was all I had to my name, but then it sort of broke down on us and I didn’t have enough money to get it fixed, so I sold it instead. And the flight back to Pennsylvania that Diego’s parents had so graciously paid for me and Theo was a complete disaster. So much so that I’m pretty sure we’ll never travel by plane again.” He grimaces.

“That bad?”

Buck rolls his eyes. “You don’t even want to know. I was mortified, Eddie. Mortified.” He sighs. “So I decided on a train when the Jeep gave out on us.”

Eddie nods his head. “And you think what? That destiny or the universe, put you on that train knowing it was going to derail just so my team could be the one to find you and reconnect you with your sister?”

He looks sceptical. Brow raised and lip slanted in an amused smirk. Buck finds that cute too.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Eddie laughs. “Well, that seems really fuc- messed up to me.” He corrects himself with a glance at Theo. “Sorry. Probably shouldn’t be cursing around this little guy as much as we have been.”

Buck shrugs. “He’s asleep anyway.”

Eddie shakes his head with a chuckle.

“But seriously.” Buck says. “The universe works in its own messed-up ways. And as horrible as this experience was, it brought me you.” Eddie ducks his head and blushes a beautiful shade of red at his words. “And you’re going to bring my sister to me. I’ll take that as a win.”

“Well, when you look at it that way.” Eddie looks back up at him, arms still wrapped protectively around Theo. His eyes are sparkling a warm, inviting brown, and his lips are pulled up in a smile that has Buck wanting to lean forward and kiss him.

Because this man is magnetic.

And it’s what he finds himself doing. Boby sliding forward as if possessed by something supernatural. But then he’s reminded of exactly why he’s in the hospital as a sharp stabbing pain takes his breath away at the exact same time that the door bursts open.

“Shit, I mean crap, you okay?” Eddie asks, half standing with the intent to help him and completely disregarding the newcomers at the door.

“I’m good. Just forgot that I was hurt for a minute there.” He shoots Eddie a smile, hoping to settle him down some. And it sort of works; he still has a frown on his face, but he’s at least sitting down again.

“Can you at least use that pump now? I know you’re in pain.” Eddie begs, bouncing an annoyed Theo back to sleep.

Buck lets out a tired sigh and nods his head, giving in. He takes the pump and presses down just as a gasp draws both of their attention back to the guests at their door.

“Evan?”

Buck’s eyes shoot to the voice, and he lets out his own surprised gasp. “Maddie!”

“Oh my God, Evan.” Maddie rushes into the room, and Buck barely notices the other guy from the train who had taken Theo, entering the room and shutting the door behind him.

He’s crying and he can barely see straight because he’s so happy. He’s injured, pretty badly at that, and he has no money, no home, and no way of supporting his son, but he’s happy. Because he has his sister. And if there is one thing his sister had always been good at before she left home with Doug, it was making everything better.

“Evan.” She says his name again, tears in her eyes, and a smile spread wide across her face. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“Me neither.  He turns to Eddie, reaching out his hand and taking the one that Eddie offers in return. “I can’t believe you actually found her. Thank you. Thank you for keeping your promise.”

“No.” Eddie shakes his head. “Thank you for keeping your promise.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” He hears the other guy in the room mutter under his breath, but he can’t get himself to pay him much attention. He’ll thank him too, after he’s had a chance to talk to his sister.

Maddie turns around to Eddie; a “thank you” falling over her lips just as her eyes finally registers the sight of the baby fast asleep in Eddie’s arms.

“Evan…”

“Maddie…” He bites his lip and waits for her reaction. Guess no one told her about Theo.

She looks to him and then back to the baby and then back to him again. “Evan, who is that?”

He swallows and draws strength from the calming presence that Eddie seems to exude without even trying before he speaks. “Maddie. Meet your nephew, Theo.”

“Careful, careful, careful. You’re moving precious cargo here.” Maddie’s words elicit an eye roll from him and a snort from Eddie.

“I am being careful.” Chimney argues back. “Don’t you worry, I know where he stands with you compared to me.”

Even being familiar with Chimney’s sense of humor from the weeks he’d spent visiting him in the hospital with his sister, Buck still finds himself checking to make sure the guy isn’t actually feeling threatened by him in any way.

Doug moved his sister away because of his insecurities.

“He’s just joking.” Maddie reassures him.

“I really am.” Chimney’s quick to add, pushing his wheelchair the last of the way into the house. It’s been two weeks since the train crash, but his injuries were severe enough that even finally being released from the hospital, he was still wheelchair-bound. It took two weeks for him to be discharged, and it was still going to take a few months for him to fully heal. But a broken leg that penetrated his chest and broke two of his ribs would do that.

God, he feels like the luckiest, unluckiest guy in the world.

Eddie pulls up the rear with Theo in one arm and his diaper bag in the other.

“So, what do you think? I know it’s not much, but we have everything you could need here, and we didn’t really need to add too many modifications. No steps, wide doorways, roll-in shower, handrails, grab bars-”

“Eddie.” Buck places a hand on his arm to stop his nervous rambling. “This is…this is more than I could have asked for. I mean, you’re letting me into your home. Where your kid lives.”

Eddie looks pointedly down at the baby lying comfortably in his arms, as if he’s known Eddie his entire life, while he gnaws away at his St Christopher medallion with a single-minded purpose. “You mean kind of like how you’ve been entrusting your kid with me for the past two weeks?”

Buck chuckles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

He and Eddie had built a friendship extremely fast. And yeah, it probably had a lot to do with trauma, both from the train crash and from everything that’s happened to him before that. But Eddie is the first person who was nice to him, not counting Sam and Abby, who thankfully were both back home now and on the mend. Eddie was the first person who ever fought for him. And just like his son, who preferred to be in Eddie’s arms over everyone else’s, Maddie included, Buck is not ashamed to say that he has gotten attached.  

Eddie offering up his home to him as a place for him to finish his recovery and then some, isn’t something he expected from the man either. He still hasn’t even met Christopher, and if there’s a chance that the kid would be even a little bit uncomfortable with him or Theo in his space, he’d pack him and Theo up and head to Maddie’s in a heartbeat, lack of wheelchair accessibility be damned.

“It’s going to be fine.” Eddie tells him. “Christopher is going to love you. All you’ll have to do is tell him a few of those cool facts you’ve got fighting for dominance in your head, and he’ll be like putty in your hands.”

Maddie snorts. “He’s right, Buck. Christopher is going to love you. A few years apart isn’t long enough for me to forget the kind of person you are.”

Evan looks at her skeptically. It’s been more than a few years, and unfortunately, those years had changed him. “And that is?”

Maddie sits on the coffee table in front of him and places both of her hands on his cheeks. “You, baby brother, are the kindest, sweetest person I have ever known. You’re smart and thoughtful. And you have a heart that is far too big for this world.”

Buck swallows down the lump in his throat and blinks away the tears in his eyes. Maddie has always been good at making him cry.

“I don’t know what you’ve been through since I last saw you, but it hasn’t changed you enough for me to ever think that you aren’t the best person I’ve ever known. No offense, Chim.” She throws back at her boyfriend with barely a glance in his direction.

“None taken.” Chimney answers back with a shrug, moving to help Eddie get all of their things settled into the house. “I think I’ve heard you talk enough about your baby brother that even I know he can do no wrong.” He jokes.

Buck chuckles and Maddie swats Chimney on the butt before the guy follows Eddie into the spare room where Buck and Theo will be staying. It’s going to be a challenge, especially given how banged up he still is, but Eddie isn’t the only one dropping everything to help him and Theo settle in.

Just look at Chimney. The guy barely knows Buck, but still, he’s taken time out of his life to help his girlfriend’s brother and his son get settled in. He’s never felt more cared for in his life.

He turns to Maddie and smiles. “I really like him for you, Mads.”

She beams at him and nods her head. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.” And then she looks over at Eddie’s retreating form, who is probably going to give Theo some sort of complex because he still hasn’t put the kid down. Not that Theo seems to mind in the slightest, babbling nonsense into Eddie’s neck as his little fingers fixate on his new obsession.

Eddie paces the house, switching from checking in on what Chimney is doing in the guest room and making sure there are enough blankets for him and Theo in the closet to strolling through the rest of the house as he speaks softly to Theo in Spanish.

And Theo looks enamored. Hanging on to his every word like they’re gospel.

“I really like him for you too.” Maddie says to him. And Buck can’t stop the blush he feels starting at his neck and burning its way up his cheeks.

“Am I that obvious?”

Maddie snorts. “Were you not trying to be?”

Buck laughs. “I don’t even know. Maddie, I just lost my husband-”

Maddie’s face crinkles with displeasure at the word “husband” like she’s been doing since he told her about Diego and their marriage being complicated. He knows she’s imagining how things were for her and Doug, and though he hasn’t confirmed anything, he hasn’t denied it either. And Maddie is smart enough to read between the lines.

“I’m not sure that counts, Buck.”

“Of course it counts, Maddie. How does it make me look to be this crazy about a guy barely a month after my husband died.”

“You look like someone who is finally free to be with someone who actually deserves you. Someone who will show you the love and kindness that you deserve. Someone who will look at your son like that, after only knowing him for a handful of weeks.”

She points to the opened doorway of the kitchen where they can see Eddie talking carefully to Theo; the two of them in their own little world. Eddie’s lips spread in a sweet smile, and Theo’s cheeks puffed out in laughter.

Buck lets out a shaky breath at the sight, while a deep longing fills his chest.

“I want that. I want him.” He confesses to her. If there’s anyone he can tell this to and not feel judged, it’s his sister. “I really, really want him, Maddie.”

She smiles and gives his knee a squeeze. “Then tell him, Buck. Don’t be afraid of what people will think. Those who know you and love you, they won’t judge you. And everyone else can kick rocks.”

He laughs and drops his hand on top of hers. “Thanks, Maddie. I’m really glad I found you again.”

“Me too.” She looks at him with that same warm smile that he remembers from when he was younger and offers him her pinkie. “It’s me and you against the world, baby brother.”

He wraps his pinkie around hers and smiles back. “Me and you against the world.”